Her Heartbroken Second Chance Mate

CHAPTER 4 - THE DAY OF THE FUNERAL - DECISIONS

Dylan's P.O.V.

On the day of Gina's funeral, the sky echoed my loss; black clouds brought a wild thunderstorm, mirroring my dark heart. The whole pack had gathered at the cemetery to pay their last respects to my Gina, their Alpha's dead mate. I could hear them crying, but nothing moved me anymore. None of them dared to get close to me, not even my family members. Everyone stood at a distance, giving me my personal space. I stood close by Gina's coffin and growled at anyone who attempted to get closer.

My heart was pounding so hard that everyone could hear it. I watched as some of my pack members paid their last respects to Gina, their eyes swollen from crying. There was no way I could deal with the fact that Gina had lost her life like that. It was all my fault; if I had informed my grandmother on time, she would have been able to save my mate. I would never forgive myself for what I had done.

My mother tried to approach me one last time but backed away when I looked at her.

With teary eyes, she whispered, "Honey, we will be waiting for you back at the packhouse. Please don't lock yourself up in your room again; we need to talk about your baby."

Nothing mattered to me, not even my son. My mother seemed not to realise it. I had even blocked my wolf, Lucian, in the back of my mind for many days, and it was only today that I allowed him to come forward. I knew how important it was for him to say goodbye to Gina in his own way. He was her mate as well. Hence, when everyone left the cemetery, I let Lucian go out and be with Gina for the last time.

My wolf howled in pain, and I felt my chest tightening. I could not breathe again, which had happened many times over the previous few days. I watched as Lucian stepped closer to Gina, and he sat on his hind legs, nuzzling her pale icy face with his nose. My wolf said his last goodbyes to our beloved mate with his eyes full of tears.

I can not describe how I felt at that moment. If someone ripped my heart out, it would be less painful. Every happy moment with Gina since I realised she was my destined mate replayed in my mind, spiralling into darker and darker feelings.

I allowed Lucian to stay in this way until some of my pack members returned to the cemetery. They lowered Gina onto the ground, and then I took over. I walked back to the packhouse; I needed to talk to my family. I had made up my mind the day Gina died. I would leave the Blue silver moon pack and denounce the Alpha title, and I wanted nothing to do with werewolf packs and mates.

I dragged my feet to the pack's entrance, knowing everyone was waiting there. When I was holed up in my room, my family members tried to talk to me. My dear grandmother felt guilty about travelling to France, and she blamed herself for my mate's death.

I knew it was not her fault, but I never said so. I felt numb, but every time I thought about it, my chest felt heavy, and I struggled to breathe-it was even worse when I thought of my son.

I entered the living room, and the whole family was waiting for me. My sister, Lydia, had my son in her arms. I looked at him for just a moment and then turned my face away, ignoring him and Lydia, but not fast enough to miss the tears in my sister's eyes. Guilt overwhelmed me for a moment, but then it passed.

"Baby, come sit with us," my mother urged in a pleading tone. I didn't reply and moved towards the bar, pouring myself a glass of whiskey.

Although I wanted to sink to the floor and scream in agony, I faced them with a blank stare, trying to hide everything from them.

"Mum, Dad, I want to talk to you. I've made a decision. I am leaving the Blue Silver Moon pack and everything to do with it. I will renounce my Alpha title. I will also have nothing to do with Northwood Constructions Ltd."

My grandfather jumped from his seat and rushed to me.

"Dylan, son, what are you saying? How can you leave the pack and the rest of us? You are talking about abandoning your family right now. Do you think running away is the best way to deal with your problems? And what about your son? Are you leaving your baby behind?"

"My son will be fine. My mother will raise him much better than I can. I cannot face him when he asks about his mother, grandma, and he will hate me when he finds out what happened. So, I'd rather back away now and save him the unpleasant moment of learning the truth from me. It's best if he thinks that both his parents are dead."

"Honey, you're making rash decisions because you feel vulnerable at the moment. Please take a couple of days to clear your mind and decide what you should do. Leaving the pack or denouncing your Alpha title is not a solution. We all know how much you're hurting right now, and we wish there were something we could do to take all the pain from you. Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do. Gina is gone, but your baby boy is here, and he needs you. He needs his father. Leaving your son behind will make you feel better or worse?"

My grandmother's words pierced my heart like a poisonous arrow. Tears started running down my face and eventually turned into sobs.

"Grandma, please. Nothing you say will change my mind. I am leaving tomorrow," I stated coldly.

"Could you please leave us alone?" My grandmother asked everyone, giving them a look that prevented them from saying anything.

My grandfather looked at his mate in the end, and she smiled at him. I knew they were talking to each other.

Soon enough, only my grandmother and I were in the living room. My grandmother took me by the hand-she led me to sit next to her on the couch, taking my hands into hers, and started talking in a trembling voice.

"Dylan, honey, are you leaving so that you don't see me anymore? Is it because you are blaming me for Gina's death?"

I looked at her and smiled bitterly.

"Grandma, you have nothing to do with Gina's death. I'm the one to blame, and you know it. If I insisted on marking her or even notified you the minute the labour pains began, my mate would be alive right now. I can't stay in the pack and watch my son grow up, knowing that I'm the reason his mother is dead. It will kill me; won't you get it? I must leave. I want nothing near me that will remind me of Gina's death. And I want nothing to do with your mother, the famous Moon Goddess Aria. She could have saved Gina if she wanted, but for some reason, she didn't."

"Dylan, I know that you probably don't want to hear what I'm about to say right now, but do you honestly believe that blaming yourself would change the fact that the main reason for Gina's death was her stubbornness and denial? She would not allow you to mark her and save her from danger. Your mate knew what would happen, yet she didn't succumb to your pleas. If anyone is to blame for your mate's death, it is your mate herself, my boy."

My grandmother's words enraged me. I attempted to stand up and leave to avoid insulting her with my reply, but she held my hand firmly and forced me to sit back down on the couch.

"Sit down, boy, and listen to me carefully! There is a baby back there that needs your attention. Like it or not, Gina's stubbornness led her to her death. Your son is not to blame, and you're not to blame. Get that through your skull and be a parent for your baby boy. Don't abandon him like that. Do you know how hard it is for a baby to grow up without its parents? He won't have his mother. Don't force him to lose his father. You're still alive and well. You must find the strength to cope with your pain and deal with your baby. Your son is your responsibility and not your mother's. Do you understand?"

My grandmother's harsh voice surprised me. Luna Alison had never spoken to me like that before since I was her beloved grandson. I looked at her, surprised by her reaction, and waited for her to continue. I knew she had more to say, I was sure. Tears started rolling down my face, clouding my vision. I felt my grandmother hugging my trembling shoulders with affection and whispering in a tender voice this time.

"Let me propose something to you, and I hope you think about it carefully. You can abandon your Alpha duties for a while, but you will not denounce your Alpha title, and you will certainly not abandon your work at Northwood Construction Ltd. You will need something to distract you from your pain, and working is the best solution. You can live in the city center in one of our apartments. The baby can stay with us, but you must come and visit us at least three times a week. You have to spend some time with your son. Your mother can bring him to you sometimes and stay with you if you wish. The bond between you and your boy must remain strong. Don't punish your flesh and blood when he is not responsible for the situation."

My grandmother's words brought me back to my senses. Why was I blaming an innocent baby for the mistakes we made? I hadn't touched my son since the day he was born.

"Thank goodness you realised that, man. How can we leave our pup behind?" Lucian found the opportunity he was looking for and took down the walls in my mind.

"We need to go see our baby. Do you realise that we haven't even named him yet?" Lucian continued.

"Do you honestly believe that I was in the mood to name our pup, Lucian? Was that my first worry?" I argued with my wolf.

"Don't you think you owe our pup at least that, Dylan?" Lucian insisted.

I turned and looked at my grandmother. There was no point in telling her anything. As the daughter of the Moon Goddess, she could hear anything and anyone.

My grandmother stood up and left the room for a while. When she came back, she was holding my son in her arms, and she had brought everyone back to the living room.

"Until you decide if you accept my offer, you can hold your son for a while and think of a name that would suit him. Your baby boy is a fighter, and he will grow strong and independent. All you have to do is give him your love, Dylan. Nothing else will matter to this pup, only his father's love."

She placed the baby in my arms, and once more, I came across those innocent dark blue eyes. My grandmother stepped back, and I was left sitting there, looking into my sons' eyes.

My hands trembled as I held his soft body. The baby was calm in my arms, and a strange feeling arose in my heart. I closed my eyes, and Gina's smiling face came to mind. I decided to take my grandmother's offer for my baby's sake.

"We will name him Blue-Blue Hayes," I announced, and my grandmother came near me, taking the baby out of my arms.

"Look what a lovely baby he is. He is so calm and well-behaved," my grandma said, holding my son near her chest.

Little did I know the hurricane my son would bring into my life a couple of years later.