Pinky Promise

Chapter 4 The Realization

Garrett's POV

I sit on the ground with my back to Lillith's front door. I run my hand through my hair just sitting there wondering what I can do to fix this.. I need to fix this.

Things were going so well with her choosing to kiss me because that kiss was amazing and all I have wanted with her. She instantly got me turned on with her intoxicating kiss. I just wanted more, so much more but I didn't want her to do it with me drunk.. I'm not taking advantage of the situation no matter how sexy it is.. and if she does anything with me while she is drunk, she might regret it and I don't want her to regret anything with me.

So of course my consciousness gets the best of me and I stop the delicious kiss.. but in that same moment I make the biggest mistake revealing I knew the whole time about the cheating and the break up. I'm so stupid. She gets pissed as she has the right to be. I just thought I was giving him some respect to break it off his way but from her angle that does suck worse.. I never even thought about it like that. She looks more hurt by the fact that I hurt her than the break up.. and that thought alone hurts my heart.

So she kicks me out of her place and here I am sitting against her door listening to her cry on the other side of the door. Knowing I helped cause that pain hurts worse than anything I have ever experienced before. My heart hurts for her, just hating myself in the process. She trusted me and I did this to her.

"Lilly please." I beg to her through the door because I know she can hear me. "No Gary. No.. you hurt me worse than the actual break up I just went through.. I can't believe you would do that to me, I have always trusted you because you were always the one person who never hurt me or betrayed me.. but now... I just need some time.. I guess by myself, since there is no one else I trust.. So go home and leave me to be alone.. please." She says back making my heart hurt worse than before. We have never actually been through a fight with each other.. and this sucks.

But I'm never going to go against what she requests from me. If she wants me to leave, then I'll leave for now, but I'll be right back tomorrow for sure.

I groan and say through the door before I leave. "If it counts for anything.. I was just trying to respect Jaxon's and your relationship by giving you guys space.. The same space that he requested from me, because he wanted to be the one to tell you.. But I'm really sorry Lilly. I should have told you."

I can still hear sniffling on the other side of the door, accompanied by a soft, "Goodnight Gary." I hang my head in defeat at that comment as I turn to leave headed back to my house.

I walk in throwing myself onto the couch groaning to myself as my hands run through my hair.

"What's wrong Gary? I have never seen you look so upset." My mother says with so much worry in her voice, from besides me gaining my attention. I just shake my head as she groans with me, sitting down next to me asking. "Are you and Lilly fighting?"

This question catches me by suprise as I curiously look over at her not answering her.. since she obviously knows.

She huffs as she looks right into my eyes and placing her hand on mine. "Honey for years I have just stood back trying to let you guys make your own decisions. And I've watched you both not do what you obviously want to do.. Now if there is any advice to take from me it would be to finally just tell Lilly you love her.. She obviously feels that same, I just wish one of you would break the friendship barrier and jump into the one thing you both want." She let's spill out as she throws her arms in the air in defeat.

I look at her curiously as I ask, "What do you mean it's obvious she feels the same?"

She scoffs and states as if it's just a matter of fact. "Honey she has been throwing signals out to you for years now and I never knew why you didn't take them, because I knew you felt the same.. but now I'm thinking that you probably didn't see them." She states as shock is apparent across my face.

"For years?" I ask in confirmation as she sadly nods at me before replying, "for a very very long time.. I'm sorry I thought you knew.. I just didn't want to intrude.. but obviously you need this advice right now.. So tell me what did you do? Don't deny it.. You wouldn't be this upset if you didn't do anything wrong."

I groan as I run my hand once more through my hair before explaining. "I saw Lilly's boyfriend on a date Friday night with another woman.." I say to her as she tries to have an explanation for it. "Well maybe she was just a friend."

I shake my head at her as I explain more, "They were kissing." I say to her as she nods and says. "Ok so you told Lilly and she is upset with you? Don't let that get to you because at least you know you did the right thing by telling her." I look at her with guiltly look upon my face shaking my head to her... "You didn't tell her?" She asks me and I nod. She slaps my arm as she gets mad demanding, "What reason do you have to not tell her about this?!"

I groan then clear my throat as I explain further. "He asked me to let him tell her the way she deserves and I agreed to give them that space.. I thought I would be overstepping boundaries by telling her after that conversation with him.. I was just trying to be respectful to both of them since it's not my relationship."

She scoffs at my explanation, throwing her hands in the air as she states, "Respectful of his feelings, went out the window once he kissed that girl and you should always put Lilly's feelings first no matter how hard it is.. Because you didn't say anything to her, it looks like your helping the cheater out. This is not good.. I bet she is feeling hurt and betrayed right now."

I nod hanging my head as I retort, "I know that's why I'm groaning and upset right now.. I don't know what to do."

I watch her nod and think about the situation for a second. "Ok well you at least are respecting her feelings by coming home and not harassing her because I'm sure she kicked you out." She states as I nod letting her know she is spot on with her assumptions. So she continues her assessment of the situation.

"But you need to keep respecting her feelings by listening to her.. but you can still show her you care by doing little things to make sure she knows you will always be there for her, even when she is ready to forgive you." She says to me patting my back.

"What if she doesn't forgive me?" I ask sadly as she scoffs once more, waving me off and saying as if it's just obvious. "She will.. eventually.. she loves you, so I'm sure she can't resist being away from you that long.. just like you can't with her.. so you just have to give it time my dear.. she should eventually come around."

I sadly look at her nodding in understanding as she pats my back once more then gets up to leave. But before she leaves the room she says back to me, "Don't admit defeat just yet.. Keep your head up Gary. I think your the only guy who has an actual shot at winning her over." I send a small smile her way she she leaves me to myself.

I groan again as I force myself to get up and head to my room. I strip down, putting on shorts, then laying on my bed letting today run through my head. I had such a great morning with Lilly and I never would have thought it would take such a left turn.

My mother says Lilly obviously has had the same feelings as me for years.. how have I not known this?.. how have I not noticed the 'signals' she was sending me, as my mother states? I feel so stupid.. so your telling me I could have the woman of my dreams.. years ago.. If I would have just gotten the guts to say something?

That thought alone is frustrating to me. I could have saved her from this torment and heartbreak with Jaxon.. same for myself I could have saved myself from the heartbreak of watching a man be happy with the woman that has my heart.. for years.

I groan more to myself as I grab my phone and opening up the screen seeing my background picture of Lilly and I together. I open a message to her as I write.

I love you.. I'm so sorry.. I hope you believe me.

I put my phone to my chest not expecting a reply back I just needed to say something else for my peace of mind. I hear my phone ding from recieving a message. I grab my phone instantly from my chest opening and reading a message from Lilly.

love you too.. but I'm still livid.. goodnight

That's not much.. but that's something I can go off of. I think mom's right and I still have a fighting chance with her no matter how mad she is at me she still loves me.

I hug my phone for a moment as I turn over on my side thinking about Lilly as my eyes slowly shut and I feel my mind fading away into the darkness for some much needed sleep.

Lillith's POV

I wake up in the bathroom on the floor, huddled around the bottom of the porcelain throne. I'm not feeling hung over luckily. I think I threw up every last bit of alcohol out of my system, along with the tiny bit of food I had in there too. I don't remember all of yesterday but I remember enough to still be mad at Garrett and of course Jaxon.

I stand up and stumble around the room still dizzy. I guess I was wrong and I'm still feeling the effects of the alcohol.. Apparently I didn't get all of it out of my system. I get so dizzy that I have to throw up more. I didn't even know I had more I could throw up

I spend about the next hour or so, throwing up the last bits of my insides that are filled with nothing more from last night. I finally get up and make my way to my kitchen, getting myself some ginger ale, some orange juice and fruit to eat, to get something in my system. It takes me about an hour or so to eat slowly so I don't make myself sick again.. I'm feeling better now that I'm getting something into my system.

I get up, turning on some music because music will always help me feel better no matter what mental state I'm in. I head to my bathroom jumping in the shower to try to make myself feel better as best as I can before my work shift tonight.

I take a long hot shower and it makes me feel a thousand times better.. I just sit in the water for who knows how long just enjoying this relaxing, whole body calming moment to myself.

I Finally have to force myself to get out, wrapping the towel around myself and getting out of the bathroom. I hear a knock on my door. gaining my attention, I make my way over to the door.

I open it to see a grinning ear to ear Jaxon. I groan rolling my eyes. "What do you want?" I ask spitefully as I watch his gaze trail all over my exposed body. "You of course." He says in a cocky tone as I scoff and start shutting the door. But it won't shut because he has slipped his boot in the way.

"Go away." I state to him as he laughs and says, "Come on cupcake.. you know you want to still be with me too.. Come on, I love you so much Cupcake." He says to me as I roll my eyes at him retorting, "You didn't love me enough to not date other women.. so no." I say trying to shut the door again but of course he doesn't move his foot again.

He pushes the door open more as he steps into my place without my permission. "Jax you need to go now.. You're not welcome here." I state to him as he steps closer to me and I step back. He steps forward again as I push his chest trying to get him to leave. He steps back with suprise as his hands wrap around me and pull me into his frame. "Come on Lilly you know you love me still. I can make you feel so much better today then what I did yesterday. Just give me a chance." He whispers into my ear as I try to resist his touch. He does know my sensitive spots to hit to turn me on and I don't like that one bit.. He is just using my love and my body against me and that's not fair.

I shake my head at him as he chuckles then says, "Come on you're not even denying me anymore.. you know I'm right and I know how to make you feel good.. like when I kiss here..." He starts kissing my neck making my breath hitch as his cologne fills my nostrils. "or here.." He says kissing my collarbone, making my heart race even faster. "or here." He says to me as his hand trails up my exposed leg sending chills all over my body.

I snap myself back to reality as I push him off and state, "No Jax I told you to leave.. now go!"

He steps back as he still smirks at me saying, "Oh fine, I'm leaving for now.. keep trying to resist me even though I know you can't.. I'll be back for your sweetness Cupcake.."

He leaves as I slam the door behind me and locking it. I lean up against the door, taking deep breathes in then letting them out trying to calm my rapidly beating heart.

That was hard to do, but I'm so glad I came to my senses.. I would be even more mad and disappointed in myself if I let him in and slept with him.. I don't care how horny I am I'm not letting him back in just because of my urges.

I hear another knock right behind my head as I yell through the door, "I told you to leave me alone Jaxon! I swear I will call the cops if you don't stop!"

"No Lilly, it's Garrett." I hear as my heart beats faster than before at that thought. I unlock, then slowly open the door. I swallow the lump in my throat as I stare up at him. I watch his eyes trail over my still wet body as he sucks him a sharp breathe.

"Jaxon's already been here huh?" He asks as I nod at him saying, "Yea he kept hitting on me telling me I couldn't resist him and I kept trying

to kick him out but he forced himself into here.. I finally pushed him back out and he said he would be back." I quickly explained to him as I adjust my towel then looking away.

"Oh well if he comes back call me and I'll kick his ass." He says to me making me smirk slightly that he is still being protective over me, even if he is in trouble with me. "thanks." I say softly as I stare up at him.

He clears his throat as he states. "I'm sorry to bother you Lilly, I just had to make sure you were OK and apologize once more.. I should have told you right away.. I'm sorry.. I thought I was respecting your relationship boundaries by not saying anything and I now know that was wrong."

I nod at him and say, "huh... now we both know that.. thanks for the apology.. but I need to finish getting ready for the day." I say to him as I watch his eyes get so sad as I shut the door behind me once more, locking it to be safe because of Jaxon being so pushy.

I feel bad being mean to Garrett but I'm still pissed at him and he needs to know what he did was wrong and that he hurt me. But it's hard for me to ever be mad at him, let alone be away from him because we spend every single day together.

So I grab my phone out to text message him.

I'm still mad but I love you.. see you tonight at work.

I say this in hopes he knows I won't hate him forever, but I'm allowed to be pissed about all this. I'm the victim in all this, not him.

love you more and still call me or text me if Jaxon comes back and I'll get rid of him.

Garrett messages back to me making me smile. I love how much he cares about our friendship and me, it's so sweet. I just wish I could find a guy that's as perfect as he is for me. But I don't think I'm ever going to find a guy like him in everyway.. no.. there is only one him, so I guess I'll just have to settle for someone else since he doesn't want me like that.

I groan as I get into my room taking the towel off to dry every last inch of myself before I have to get ready. It's now the afternoon and I don't know if I can eat much more right now.. but I'm going to try before I have to leave for work. I just want to have a good night that will hopefully distract me from my disaster of a life.