Who To Love (Completed)

Chapter 4: Kieran

I was laughing with Bianca about how she blew her nose during our childhood days. I’ve known her my whole life and I have loved her for my whole lifetime. I’ve always thought that having her around would make my life complete.

But now that I have her beside me, laughing with me, why do I feel emptiness in my heart? Why do I feel like something is missing?

Then, suddenly, the door opened, revealing my doctor and a woman. I shook my thoughts away.

Bianca and I nodded at Dr. Lee in acknowledgement. Then I looked at the woman beside him who’s looking down. If I remember it right, when I woke up yesterday, she was the person beside me. Everyone said that she’s my fiancée but if she really is, why can’t I remember her?

I watched her as Dr. Lee whispered something to her making her look at him in shock. For once, I have seen her whole face and she doesn’t look so bad.

I can’t help myself but look at how his hand is holding hers. I don’t know why I don’t like the way he holds her. I don’t want him to hold her. Damn. If she is my fiancée, why is she letting just anyone to touch her like that?

I don’t even remember her but why do I feel this bad?

I must be crazy.

“Good morning, Mr. Wu.” Dr. Lee greeted me with a smile.

I just nodded. I don’t know why somehow, after seeing him hold her like that, I started to not like him. I feel like I don’t want him around me – or perhaps, beside that woman, too.

“Are you feeling better?” He asked.

I nodded. “I am even thinking of going home today.” I replied.

Dr. Lee looked into his records and nodded. “Well, we ran some tests on you yesterday and they all showed normal results. Aside from the things and persons you couldn’t remember, you are actually doing well.” He spoke. “Maybe you could be discharged this afternoon.”

Bianca squealed in delight beside me as she hooked her arm around mine. I can understand that she is happy that I could go home from this place but I couldn’t help but notice how the woman flinched by the mere contact of Bianca and I.

She looked really hurt to the point that I don’t even know why I removed Bianca’s arm around mine. She didn’t see it because she is looking down again.

“What do you want to eat, Kieran?” Bianca asked me. “Your favorite? Pizza?” She asked.

I ignored her question because I was busy looking at the woman who seemed to be holding something in. If she was really my fiancée, why won’t she step up and act like one?

Oh, yeah. The nurses asked her to not come to me because I freaked out yesterday when I saw her.

She looked at Dr. Lee. “Harold, I’ll just go outside.” She told him.

Did she just call Dr. Lee ‘Harold’? Are they on first name basis now?

Dr. Lee narrowed his eyes on her. “But I thought Mrs. Wu asked you to come and look after her son?” He asked her.

I saw the woman fidget and hesitate to reply. “Uh, his girlfriend is here now. He doesn’t need anyone else.” She replied but I could hear her voice tremble with every word she said. “I’ll just go. I forgot I have to continue the story I am trying to finish.” She chuckled weakly as she hurried to the door and left the three of us inside the room.

Dr. Lee couldn’t even stop her from leaving because she was such in a hurry, he could only sigh hard.

I looked at Dr. Lee and I couldn’t help but wonder about his relationship with that woman. “What is that woman doing here?” I asked him. “Why does she call you by your first name?”

I don’t know why I was curious of her. I don’t know why I want to know more about her.

Dr. Lee looked back at me. “She was here because your mother asked her to look after you for the day.” He replied. “But I guess she doesn’t have to since you have your girlfriend with you.”

I don’t know why it sounded so sarcastic. His reply was too sarcastic like he was telling me that I was rude having my girlfriend with me.

“You don’t really know her?” He asked me innocently.

I shook my head.

He chuckled weakly. “So you have no idea of how much she’s hurting right now.” I don’t know if I heard it right because he was mumbling it but what the hell? Is my doctor outright dissing me?

“Kieran! We should celebrate your discharge from the hospital!” Bianca suggested. “Let’s ask your friends to prepare a homecoming party for you.”

I looked at her and saw her smiling brightly I couldn’t help but smile back. “Sure, sure. Call them.” I agreed to her and she was jumping up and down as she took her phone out and started to call my friends.

“Is it okay for me to hold a party tonight?” I asked Dr. Lee.

He nodded. “It would be good. You’ll be meeting your friends who could tell you some things you don’t remember.” He smiled. “Just don’t exhaust yourself.”

I nodded. “Sure, sure.”

Dr. Lee took a deep breath. “So, you could process your discharge papers this afternoon.” He told me as he held his hand out, extending it for a shake. “Take care of your health.” He reminded me.

I nodded. “Of course I would.” I replied.

--

“Ayo, Kieran!”

Before I could even enter the house, I was greeted by Zion and the rest of the boys who are in party mode.

When I said yes to this homecoming party, I didn’t expect it to be this noisy. I thought it would just be a simple celebration and gathering. But this, this is a freaking party. Hell, like a club!

I was hugged by everyone when suddenly I saw Joshua calming a woman beside him.

“I said I don’t want to come to this party! What the hell would Ashin actually think of me?! I am her best friend but I went to the party sponsored by her fiancé’s girlfriend?” I heard her shout at Joshua.

Joshua glared at her. “Gina! Don’t shout here! Kieran’s here! Bianca’s here!” He shot back.

The girl named Gina looked my way and glared at me. Damn, chill, girl! What did I ever do to you? I don’t even know you.

“Fine! I won’t talk but I won’t be here, either.” Gina exasperated as she stood up and took her things. “I’m going to my best friend who is busy drowning herself at work because she’s trying to forget about her f*****g fiancé who couldn’t remember her.”

I don’t know why but is it because she was actually talking about me that I felt bad for her best friend?

Gina walked past me giving me and Bianca one last glare before walking out of the house. Louie asked her where she’s going but she ignored him and just walked straight out.

Who is she anyway? Is she Joshua’s girl? How can he handle such fierce lady?

“What is her problem?” Bianca asked, pertaining to that girl, Gina.

I just shrugged because I don’t really know where she’s getting all the hate. Am I really that terrible?

Lay just shook his head. “So, it’s actually true that you couldn’t remember anything that happened these past five years?” He asked me.

I shook my head.

Xander sighed. “So that explains why you’re with Bianca and not with Ashin right now.” He concluded. “And that’s why Gina is fuming.” He added and talked as if Bianca couldn’t hear him. Thankfully, Bianca didn’t react and just went to my mother and greeted all the guests.

Joshua came to us and apologized for what that Gina acted out. “She’s just too upset that you couldn’t remember Ashin.” He explained. “And probably she’s worrying about Ashin because she’s not answering her phone.”

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Ashin…she’s my fiancée?” I asked him.

The boys nodded. I was stoned to my post. So she is my fiancée. It is confirmed since all of the people around me said so. “But where is she?” I asked.

They all shrugged.

“Gina went to find her. She could be at work.” Joshua said. “Or she could be drowning herself in liquor at one bar again.”

“Again?” I asked.

Joshua nodded. “Last night, she was at The Wonderland. She finished almost four bottles of tequila and went home really drunk—” he stopped and looked at me. “I shouldn’t be telling you this.” He told me.

I narrowed my eyes at him. “Tell me more.” I asked.

“But—”

“Tell me more!” I don’t know why I was this mad knowing that that certain girl, Ashin, got drunk last night because of me. Was it because of guilt? Or was it because of something else?

“She was crying her heart out.” Joshua continued against his will. “She was talking about how life is so unfair that you couldn’t remember her when all she did the past three months was to wait for you to wake up and hear your voice again.”

I suddenly felt my heart stop beating. For once I have never thought that I am a bad person. But hurting someone without knowing makes me want to hurt myself as well.

Joshua shook his head. “It’s not your fault that you couldn’t remember her. She isn’t blaming you for all the pain she is feeling.” He tried to console me and the rest of the boys agreed. But how can I even make myself believe that I am innocent when I know for myself that I am the reason of someone’s sorrow?

I turned to the door without even thinking of what I was doing. The boys were calling me, asking me where I am going. I don’t know as well. But why does my instinct tell me that I need to find Ashin and take care of her?