Ch-5
3037 Words
Mia (Four Years Ago)
I waited outside my parents house pondering whether to go in or just walk away. Its been nearly four months that I have seen or talked to them and for whom? Guilt crept inside me forcing me, urging me to walk away. But I also knew that I can't hide from my parents forever. Especially now that I will be leaving for New York in a week. I needed to apologize for being such a first class jerk to them. Especially to my mother. I knew she can be a little overbearing. Okay, a lot overbearing but at the end of the day, she was right. Everyone else accept me was right about Tristan. How funny and pathetic was that?
I took a deep breath and rang the bell and really prayed that Dad would open the door. I knew he wasn't that pissed at me when compared to my mother. I needed him by my side to face her. And it seemed like God took a mercy on me because when the door opened, Dad stood on the threshold. And weirdly, he didn't look surprise to see me here.
"I was wondering how much more time you needed to ring that stupid bell," He muttered and I felt my eyes tearing up as I stared at his kind warm admonishing expression.
"Daddy!" I whispered and he opened his arms for me. I ran towards him and wrapped my arms around him, feeling the horrors of the past few days, no not days but months. Horrors of the past few months melting away softly.
"I am so sorry," I whispered, irritated that the sobbing won't stop. "I am so so so sorry, Dad. In made a big big mistake. I hurt both of you so bad...I am so sorry,"
"Its okay, sweetie...come on let's go inside," He said, wiping my tears. "Let's just calm down first, okay?"
"Okay," I muttered, sniffing and Dad laughed and handed me his handkerchief to wipe my nose. I ideally wondered who carries around hankies in their pocket randomly.
"Who is..." Mom walked out of the kitchen, wiping her hands on the apron and froze on seeing me there. She didn't look pleased. She didn't look pleased at all.
"What's she doing here?" Mom demanded sternly. "Who said she can come here?"
"Amelia...please stop. For God sakes!" Dad said and there was a edge to his voice that made Mom purse her mouth shut. Something that was as rare as Haley's Comet.
"I am sorry," I said sincerely. "I didn't mean to hurt you that day. I really didn't ,"
"Its okay. What's done is done. The good thing is that you came back home. You realised your mistake and owned up to it," Dad smiled at me brightly. "That all matters,"
"Wait a second," Mom scowled. "First answer my question.."
"No...I am not with him anymore," I answered before she could even ask her question. Mom's eyes widened but she also looked very pleased.
"Thank God for knocking some sense into you," Mom muttered. "And what is this...have you stopped eating or what?"
I stifled my smile as Mom sauntered off into the kitchen to fix me a meal. Some people never change and my mother was among those people. But maybe that was the essence of her. I mean if she suddenly transform into one of those pamper-your-kid-sweet Mom's...well that would be weird. She was quirky and overbearing but I knew she has a good heart inside.
"I had a news to announce," I said as I finished off my meal of good old mac and cheese.
"Oh?" Dad muttered, peering at me from the rim of his coffee mug questioningly.
"You are not pregnant, are you?" Mom exclaimed, looking horrified and Dad almost spilled his coffee.
Oh dear...that's the only thing she can think of?
"No, Mom...I am not pregnant," I rolled my eyes at her and my mother made no effort to hide her relief.
"Then what?" She asked.
"I..er I am moving to New York in a week," I answered and both my parents shot me a bewildered look.
"Why?" Dad inquired. "I mean how come?"
"Our company opened two branches in New York and San Francisco some five six months ago, I guess," I answered. "The New York branch needs a team coordinator, you know almost the same position Carter is at now. He put up mine and Liv's name up. Liv isn't going but I have decided to take the opportunity. They are providing an apartment in one of the very posh neighborhoods of the city. I have already checked it out. All other benefits as well and the pay is also going to escalate so,"
"That's amazing," Dad smiled brightly. "Good decision, sweetie,"
Mom although didn't seem very pleased since moving to New York meant she can't pester me to get married every weekend or try to set up with random son of friends anymore. It was highly suspicious how she managed to get so many friend in the first place but nevertheless she didn't say anything for the rest of the day. Maybe she was giving me a little freeway since I closed the Tristan chapter of my story. It was late in the evening when I decided that it was time to leave and for some reason my father was way too eager to drive me home.
"Dad...this is Portland and its already seven. I will manage just fine on my own," I said and he scowled at me.
"Your Dad's gone nuts," Mom muttered in disdain. "Go home safely and don't forget to visit before you leave,"
"Of course, Mom," I smiled at her and gave her a hug. "Take care,"
"You too," She said and finally gave me a smile. "Oh...I think I left something on the stove. Oh! My sauce!"
Mom sprinted inside at the speed of Usain Bolt and Dad shook his head in what-will-I-do-with-her manner. I laughed and then gave my father a hug. When I pulled away, he grabbed my shoulders studying me at arm's length.
"Mia...tell me something," He muttered, looking serious out of the blue. "Did he in any way hurt you? Physically? Mentally?" I stared at him blankly and the memories from that night flooded straight into my head. Memories that I have tried very hard to keep locked away. Memories that escape only at night.
"Its a chapter that I have closed, Dad," I whispered. "Take care, Dad. I will see you next week. And don't worry. I am stronger than I look,"
"I know," He smiled at me. "Get home safely, okay?"
"I will," I said, climbing into my car. And as I drove away, I made a pledge to focus on my new future and erase everything that happened in the past six months completely from my mind. But the thing was...was it that easy?
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Mia (Present Day)
The pub near Pike Market was apparently the latest trend in Seattle and as I sat there waiting, I can see why. It was quite ambient and almost cozy with mood lighting and stuff. And more than that, I was eternally grateful that there was no blaring music in the background. It was ironic because four years ago, my life used to revolve around exactly that.
Four years later, peace and comfort was all I seek. Maybe I was turning into a senior citizen before even turning thirty. Or maybe that's what marriage and kids do to you. I guess I will never know because my best friend was far from getting married and all the married Mom's at the park and even at work, I liked to maintain my distance from them. Because apparently for them every topic starts from diapers and end in breast feeding.
Like there was nothing else left in world to talk about. It was weird and I definitely didn't want to become one of those obnoxious mothers who can think of nothing but their children. The conversations starting with my Jake or my Lia... and ending in my Jake and my Lia. It was not like I didn't adore Mace. Hell, he was the apple of both our eyes which was normal. He was the reason I sometimes find the courage to get up in the morning. Because if no one was there, my little son with his dimpled cheek was always there to keep me preoccupied. But that doesn't mean it has to be always about him. I was not that kind of Mom who spoils their children with over affection. I guess I picked that up from my mother.
"Hey!" The loud squeal from behind me almost made me jump out of the comfortable brown leather couch and I turned to see my best friend standing behind me, a big smile on her exotic face.
"Liv!" I cried, creating a whole lot of chaos as we both hugged each other, giggling like crazy high school girls.
"Oh my God!" She cried, sitting down. She looked radiant and I knew it was the Daniel effect. They were still going so strong and it was a matter of time before Daniel pops the question. Man, I can't wait for their wedding though I keep that thought to myself.
"Its been so long!" She gushed, eyes almost shining. I rolled my eyes inwardly because that was a lie. She saw me six months ago, I guess. But maybe six months really was a long period. I don't keep track of time anymore. I don't feel the need to for some reason.
"Look at you," I smiled at her. "You look stunning,"
"So do you," She answered, quickly ordering two Martinis. "Who will say that you are a mother. Damn...you lost weight. Quite some weight actually,"
Wow ...it was that evident.
"Yeah, I guess with Mace's birth..." I muttered, not knowing what to say.
"But aren't you supposed to gain weight?" Liv pointed, narrowing her eyes at me and I shrugged nonchalantly.
"Everyone's body works differently," I answered wryly and reaching out Liv grabbed my arm and stared questioningly at me.
"Its not that, I know," She said. "What's wrong, Mia? And don't lie because despite all your hard attempts, its written all over your face,"
Was it? It was weird that she can see that despite seeing me after such a long time but my husband who spent everyday of his life with me can't see it? Maybe he just got used to this me and working so hard made him forget what I used to be altogether?
"Is Ethan treating you right?" She asked cautiously and I nodded my head. "He isn't hurting you by any chance, is he?"
"No...no...," I said, shaking my head. "Ethan loves me, there's no questioning that. Its just..."
"Its just what?" Liv inquired. "Well something is definitely not right with you guys. I can see that,"
"Its just that, he is never there," I answered silently. "He has been so busy lately. I hardly even see him these days,"
Saying this out loud to my best friend for some reason made me feel very guilty. It made me feel like a shitty wife. I mean who holds their husband guilty and at fault for working hard? I mean it was not like he was partying out nights after nights or cheating on me or anything. He was just working hard on something that he has always dreamt off. How was that wrong? And as a loyal wife wasn't my job to support him rather than keep complaining?
'"Oh s**t," Liv muttered. "How long has this been going on?'
"A year, I guess," I answered and there was a very heavy almost stifling feeling in my chest. "We don't talk anymore like we used to. And even if we talk its about his work, some new client or new project. And even that's rare because mostly he leaves early and comes home late. The rest of other conversation includes health insurance, buying some new property, making some new investment, worrying about Mace's schooling. That's all,"
"s**t. That's f****d up," Liv said, sympathetically and motioned me to take a sip of my Martini. "And what about you know..."
"He hasn't touched me in months," I answered, my voice sounding almost lifeless. "The last time we made love was a few weeks ago on Women's Day, I guess and before that...I don't even remember. He comes home tired out of his wits and crashes on the couch itself. And well that's how it has been for a year,"
"I am sorry, Mia," Liv said and I nodded my head. "This is...this is too much. You guys have been married for what?"
"Two and a half years," I answered, chewing at the olive. It seems like forever to me now.
"Exactly. This generally doesn't happens before at least ten...fifteen years?" She said and I shrugged again.
"I guess everything's possible with me," I answered. "I am just trying to accept this and keep moving on. I mean, I can't hold Ethan for working hard, can I?"
"Well, no...I guess," She said. "But you are working hard too. And if you think about it...harder. He is managing work. You are managing both your home and work. That's some feat. And kids aren't easy. He should understand that. Its not right to be this negligent,"
"I don't think he is negligent," I answered. "Its more like the thought that I could feel like this or things like this could happen, it just doesn't cross his mind. He doesn't do anything intentionally. He is too busy for that,"
"Wasn't he supposed to come with you for your parents anniversary?" Liv pointed and I nodded, the bitter memory of how he let me down on a bloody phone call evaded my mind.
"He left for Madrid," I answered. "Important meeting. Would take up a week,"
"Jeez," Liv shook her head in disapproval. "Did you talk to Dr. Susana about this? Maybe she can help?" I nodded my head in response. Liv was the only person who knows that I go to a shrink. She was the one who suggested me that when I was struggling to cope with the horrifying events that happened with Tristan.
"She said I am lonely," I muttered and it came out almost sarcastic even though I didn't mean it to. "And I quote' You are standing on the precipice of what is normal against what is concerning',"
"Oh dear," Liv almost shrieked. "Did you talk to Ethan about that? You know you need to right. If this keeps going, you will soon slip into depression and mind me...that's not a healthy place to be,"
"I know," I nodded my head, although the idea of slipping into depression didn't occur to me. I absolutely can't let that happen. Mace was still too small and he needed me by his side. At least for his sake, I needed to lift myself up.
"But the thing is...how do you tell someone that you are lonely?" I demanded. "Its weird,"
"Its not someone...its your husband," Liv admonished. "What is there to be ashamed off?"
"Funny, Susana said the exact same thing," I commented and Liv rolled her eyes at me.
"Because that's logical," She answered. "Do it, Mia. For your own sake. For both Mace and Ethan's because they both need you. And you need you,"
"I know. I will do it when I get back home," I assured. "But enough about me, how are you? How's everything at work?"
"Everything's amazing," Liv smiled at me. "It can't get better. And work is great too just not the same without you. People still ask about you, you know? Even that b***h of Martha. You are in touch with, Merissa...aren't you?"
"Yeah," I nodded my head. "She visits every time she is in the city. I guess I saw her a month ago,"
"Its funny how you two have become friends," Liv remarked and I couldn't agree any less.
"Kindered spirits, I guess," I said and Liv laughed. "She is a great person. In fact, Ethan got some very great clients, thanks to her,"
"Yeah...I..." She was stopped by her vibrating phone and glancing on the screen, a smile made its way on her lips. "I will be back in a second," She muttered before heading outside to talk to Daniel. I smiled to myself. She seems like a smitten school girl having crush on someone for the very first time. And to think how she used to be. I guess love changes it all.
As I sat waiting for Liv and sipping leisurely at my second Martini, my eyes roaming lazily around, I noticed a guy at the far table almost staring at me. But I couldn't be sure because he was wearing a baseball cap that covered half of his face. I looked away and for some reason, a chill ran down my spine. He looked familiar for some reason.
Curious, I glanced back again and stared at him, trying to look beyond his cap. I didn't know if he was staring at me or not but after a while, a sly smile spread on his lips and I froze. I knew that smile. Nothing could ever make me forget that smile. I felt like I couldn't breath. Like the room was closing in on me. Like there was no one else in the room but him and me and my first instinct was to get up and run. But I couldn't. I felt glued to my seat and completely paralyzed. That's when I realised I was having a panic attack. This has happened before and the only thing that could help the situation was to calm myself down.
"It can't be him," I chided myself, closing my eyes shut as tightly as I could. "It can't be him,"
It can't be ....Tristan.
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A/N: Hey dear readers! Happy Monday...I hope everyone had an amazing weekend! Here's the next update! I hope you like it! Thank you so so much for all the reads and comments! This means a lot! :)
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