Temptation : The Obsession (Book 2 of Temptation Series)

Ch-4

                                                  Mia ( 1 year and nine months ago)

I sat with bated breath outside my Ob-Gyn's clinic, feeling both my hands and feet go cold. Waiting was one of the worst things to do when you were hoping for some kind of judgment or result. And for a restless person like me, it was f*****g torture. 

"Mia Taylor!" The nurse called and I got up, feeling weak at knees. 

It sounded absurd when people calls me Mia Taylor. I still hadn't got the hang of it. Mia Garner was my identity for more than twenty-five years. It was a little hard to let go off that and embrace the new identity. Mia Taylor, wife of Ethan Taylor and probably soon...the  mother of his child. The fast and furious transformation in my life in the past few years almost knocked the wind out of me and I quickly hurried inside to see what news Dr. Miranda Spencer has to give without getting distracted by that realization. I almost knew what she might have to say but it was more like I didn't want to believe it. 

"Hi there," Miranda, around forty years old with short cropped blonde hair and deep amber eyes smiled up at me and I reciprocated with a watery one. "Please have a seat, Mrs. Taylor," 

"Thanks," I muttered, sitting down. I glanced around at the intimidating interior filled with pictures of small cute babies staring at me with their doe-like eyes. I wasn't a child person and to find myself here, not a very healthy environment for me. 

"How long have you been married, Mrs. Taylor?" Miranda asked and I frowned inwardly. Was she judging me or something?

"A year and a half," I answered and she nodded her with a smile as she handed me a white envelope. This was it, the judgment...the result, the thing that will change my life forever. 

"Congratulations. You are pregnant, Mia," She smiled and I felt bile rising to my throat. I knew I was supposed to be dramatic here, throwing on a lot of tears and Omg's because Miranda was looking expectantly at me but at the moment I was just too shocked to react. I mean deep down I knew this. I knew it the instant I saw those two demeaning blue lines staring up at me yesterday but still I wanted to be sure. And now that I was sure, I felt like someone has knocked the wind out of me or something. 

Pregnant? 

"Was this unexpected? Accidental?" Miranda demanded, looking sympathetic now and I nodded my head lightly. 

"A little," I confessed. "I mean I have been taking pills and...I just..." 

"Its okay to feel that way," Samantha consoled. "You never know with contraceptives. Now, from your reports...I would say three weeks," 

"Three weeks?" I inquired blankly. 

"Three weeks into pregnancy," She clarified. "Now if you want to abort?" 

"No," I said instantly. God no...no matter how big a blow this was for me. No matter how shocked I was, this was not an option. It was murder for God sake and that too of a life that hasn't even completely took form yet. I will die of shame and guilt if I ever go down that lane. And if Ethan finds out, well we were done then. And it was our child. His and mine, not anybody else's so what was I so afraid of? I was twenty-eight years old now and this was the perfect age to become a mother. Everything was fine...everything will be fine. I just have to make myself accept the big transition that was coming. 

"Great...then let's do a sonogram and see how the baby is doing, shall we?" Miranda smiled brightly at me and all I could do was just nod again.

"Mia...is everything alright?" Ethan asked as I shoved my food around. "Why are you not eating?" 

"Oh er...I have something to show you," I muttered and fetching in my pocket, I pulled out the mean white envelope. He eyed it curiously as I handed it over to him and I nodded my head motioning him to go ahead and read it. 

He pulled out the report and I watched as his eyes roamed over the contents. Once...twice...thrice. I knew his reaction won't be negative. Hell, he loved kids. I have seen it with my own eyes on several occasions like once when we went out for a walk in Central Park and he ended up playing football with a five year old baby girl. It was amusing and I knew then how amazing a father he would be. It was me who was the black sheep here. 

"Wh...when did you...when did you find out?" He whispered at last, brown eyes wide and filled with myriad emotions. 

"Just this morning," I answered and tried to sound a little enthusiastic. 

"Oh...oh my god!" He exclaimed at last, running his hands through his hairs. "Oh my god! I am going to be a father! Holy s**t! I am going to be a father!" 

"Yes!" I muttered and couldn't help but smile at his enthusiasm. 

"Oh my god! Mia!" He squealed and picked me up in his arms, completely startling me as he twirled me around. 

"Jesus! Ethan!" I cried out and he laughed, cautiously putting me down. 

"I am going to be a father, Mia!" He laughed so hard and suddenly there were tears in his eyes which startled me. This was supposed to me my reaction but here it was the other way around. 

"Hey...hey!" I wrapped my arms around him and he hugged me back so tightly that he might just as well crush me to death. 

"Thank you so much!" He whispered softly. "This is the best gift anybody has ever given me," 

I smiled wryly at him not knowing what to say. I still didn't know how I was feeling. Was I happy? I was supposed to be happy, right? That's the rule, isn't it? Was I scared...definitely. No doubt about that one. Was I regretting this? I don't know...

"Hey..." Ethan admonished. "What's wrong? Aren't you happy?" 

"No...that's not the thing," I muttered, staring down at my hand. "I just...what if I don't make a good mother? What if I can't raise him well?" 

"Wait...him?" Ethan demanded and I nodded my head. 

"Its a boy," I answered and fumbling in my  back pocket, pulled out a black hazy image from my sonogram that Miranda gave me earlier. "Here," 

He grabbed the image and squinted hard at it, trying to spot the fetus. The faces he was making was actually very funny but I don't blame him. It took me ten minutes to spot him as well. It was such a tiny thing. More like a small dot on a gigantic piece of paper. 

"Its right here," I pointed and he almost pushed his face inside the image to spot his child. It was really funny and that gradually lifted my spirit a bit. 

"Its so tiny," He murmured in awe. "This is unbelievable," 

"I know right," I murmured in awe myself that one human can actually exist inside other human, So far I have seen it in theory but experiencing it in real life was a whole different thing. 

"You won't," He answered and I turned my eyes from the blip to him. 

"Huh?" I demanded. 

"You won't fail as a mother," He smiled brightly at me. "I am and always will be right here for you. Together we will raise him to be an amazing human, okay?" 

"Okay," I smiled, his words calming me a little. He was right. He was right here for me. If he can lift me up, a broken mess when we first met and fill my life with so much happiness and colours...I knew together we will work through this. There was nothing to worry about as long as he was there with me. 

"Good girl," He kissed me softly, eyes filled with adoration and love. "Now...you must take extra care of yourself, okay? And oh my god...we have so much to plan. We need to baby proof the apartment first. No wait...we can't live in this apartment. There's no space," 

That was absurd. We live a bloody 3BHK apartment on Upper East Side, just a block away from the apartment that my company leased for me. And it was big enough to fit five grown up comfortably let alone a small baby. 

"No...we need a home," He said, taking my face in his hand. "A proper home with garden and sprinklers and swings. I will talk to my realtor tomorrow and we will find the perfect house for us, okay?" 

"Whatever you say," I smiled, enjoying his enthusiasm. He nodded his head wildly. 

"I need to work even harder now," He said firmly, his brown eyes shinning with determination. "Our child should want for nothing," 

I sat down on the barstool and listened carefully as he proposed all sorts of odd plans to me for the baby. And as I watched him and pictured a little baby with brown eyes like him in my arms, all my fear slowly started to melt away. 

Everything will be fine, I knew it would be...

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                                                                       Mia (Present Day)

Mace was playing beside me as we drove to JFK, while I stared out of the window. Its again just me and I don't how I was feeling about that prospect. This trip was decided a long long time ago. Everything was planned. Everything was decided. Where we would go, what we would do...there was so much to catch up on. And not just with friends and family but between us. There was so much to catch up between us. Finally some time apart from months and months of distance and crazy schedule. The disappointment I felt was crushing and I knew that it might be absolutely illogical but it felt that way, disappointing and hopeless. I hated myself for being so pissed at him. After all he was working for us, to built a better future for our son it was wrong to hold him for doing that but right at the moment, I couldn't help but feel the way I was feeling. 

"Moo," Mace cooed beside me, shoving a block in my hand and I smiled at him, the only reason for whatever little happiness was there left inside me. He couldn't speak yet so it was all monosyllables conversation between him and me. But neither he needed words and nor did I to understand each other. It was almost magical how I understood everything he tried to say and he despite not having an inkling of English vocabulary reciprocated in just the same way. 

When I found out that I was pregnant, I didn't even know how to feel. I was honestly not a children person. And to think that now I was going to have a child of my own, I was scared as s**t. What if I don't make a good mother? What if I loose it? There were so many weird thoughts going on in my head at that time and I remember talking to Ethan about that. And there was just one thing that he said : I am and always will be right there for you. 

But as I sat in cab alone, I felt how ironic it was the way his words have backfired. Where was he now? When I needed him the most? It was so easy to say things in the spur of the moment and not just for Ethan, for everyone of us but can we always keep up with our promises as we move ahead with life? It was not always possible to because you never know what curveball life throws at you and just as hurdles comes along we keep moulding ourselves according to that situations. So somewhere it was not right to hold him to something that he said around a year ago because life has changed three sixty degrees for us in that time frame. 

But what about the way I was feeling? What do I do about that? At the moment what I needed was a good strong drink something like my favorite, vodka on rocks. But of course that wasn't possible with Mace and all I could do therefore was to take a deep breath and wrap everything up inside me. Like I always do. 

I was grateful that Mace somehow managed to keep quiet throughout the entire flight. There was nothing more mortifying then a crying baby in a flight full of people. Even if they don't say it out loud, the distaste and annoyance in most of their faces were difficult to ignore. I was exhausted and in dire need of sleep by the time I reached home. Nostalgia took over me as I climbed out of the car and realised how long it has been since I saw my parents. I actually missed them. Even my mother's coaxing although since I got married to Ethan, that has almost stopped. My mother adored Ethan. He was the dream man she always wanted me to be with. 

"We are going to meet Nana and Granpap," I muttered to Mace as I rang the bell and I don't know if he understands but he smiled at me. I think just like me, he looks tired as well. It was actually funny to think about. A one year old guy getting tired, of what exactly? 

"Ohh! Look who's here!" Mom shrieked as she opened the door. "Macey!" 

She pulled Mace up in her arms and was instantly distracted as I stood on the threshold waiting for attention. Hello? I was here too! 

"Excuse me?" I muttered to Mom and she rolled her eyes at me before giving me a one arm hug. 

"Look at you getting jealous of a baby!" She admonished in a friendly way. "Come on in now. Where's Ethan?" 

Here we go...

"He won't be coming," I muttered and tried my best to hide my disappointment. 

"What! Why?" Mom exclaimed, her disappointment ten times intensified than mine. Of course, she adored her son-in-law who was more important than her daughter herself.

"He has to leave for Madrid urgently. Won't be back for a week," I replied nonchalantly as I searched for my father. 

"Ah...such a shame," Mom grumbled. "Poor boy...he works so hard all the time," 

I shot her a look which she ignored thoroughly. He works so hard...and what about me? What about my hard work? Nights after nights of not sleeping yet functioning like a brand new vacuum cleaner. Running like a crazy all day around looking after the needs of my family...of my clients without even a moment to spare for myself...who appreciates that? Who talk about that? Why is it always that men are the ones always working hard? What about them who run the show from behind the curtains? Us. Who talks about our hard work? 

"Here's my sweetheart!" Dad fumbled down the stairs just when I was opening my mouth to say something to Mom. 

My mood instantly rose as my father gave me a tight hug. I was so glad that we were back to the way we used to be. After what happened regarding Tristan and with both my parents not talking to me for almost four months, I had almost given up hope of ever having the same bond with my father again. But thankfully that was not the case. My mother can pamper Ethan as much as she wants but I knew my father was always there to pamper me like he used to when I was a baby. 

"Its been so long, darling," He smiled sadly at me. "I missed you so much," 

"I missed you too, Dad," I murmured and had a sudden urge to cry wildly and tell him what was going inside me. But he didn't need to worry about unnecessary things because I did have a habit of blowing things out of proportions sometimes be it my emotions or anything else for the matter. 

"Wait a second!" He held me at arm's length. "You have lost weight. You look so thin and...tired," 

Finally someone got that...

"Its fine, Dad," I murmured. "Its just been a tough year with Mace and work and Ethan's expanding business...that's all," 

"That's why I suggested that you take a break from work and stay at home," Mom murmured, while bouncing Mace on her lap. 

"Amelia," Dad admonished and I sighed, feeling exhausted. Some people just never change, I guess. No matter how much time goes by. My mother was one of them. 

"What? Its for her own good," Mom retorted and Dad opened his mouth to say something but I grabbed hid arm and shook my head slightly. 

"Let it be," I whispered and he mouthed a sorry to me. 

After a late dinner, I climbed inside the duvet of my old room feeling the familiarity and comfort enveloping me. But in the same breath, I still can't forget what happened here four years ago. Its been so long and I have stayed here many times after that but I still can't forget the memory of Mom walking in on Tristan and me. And with that realization comes the guilt and the horrors and it fills every fiber in my body with disgust. 

Although through months of therapy, I had finally able to let go of the guilt and the scars that the relationship left on me, the aversion to touch, the nightmares...somewhere deep inside me the memories of those grey black eyes were still alive. And now and then they would pop out filling me with dread and disgust. I was distracted by my vibrating phone and I turned the screen on to see a message from Ethan.  

Ethan: Babe...have you reached safely? You should have reached probably an hour or two ago. Why didn't you call or text? I am worried here. Is Mace, okay? Are you alright? 

I stared at his text and sighed. That was the thing with Ethan, despite all his ignorance and the way our relationship was becoming with each passing day, it was still hard to hold a grudge against him. Because I knew that he didn't do anything on purpose. He never had the intention to hurt me. He loved me way too much for that. But I was still mad at him and since I can't say that out loud, I hoped that my text will portray that to him. 

Mia: Yep. 

I turned off the bed and was about to switch off the night lamp when Dad knocked on the door and peeked inside, looking almost sheepish. 

"Dad," I muttered, sitting up. "What's up?" 

"I was checking if you were asleep," He said walking inside cautiously since Mace was fast asleep beside me, no doubt exhausted. 

"No...I was just going to," I replied. "Is something wrong?" 

"Nope," He smiled, sitting down beside me. "I thought I might tuck my little princess in. After all, somebody needs to take care of you as well," 

I blinked as I stared at his kind eyes and felt tears springing to mine. It has been so long since somebody said that to me. Ethan cared inside but he never has the time to show it. And there was just nobody else. 

"Thanks, daddy," I sniffed, feeling so vulnerable all of a sudden. 

"Come here," He gave me a hug. "Now lie down. I will tuck you in  and stay here as long as you don't fall asleep, okay?" 

"Okay," I smiled, lying down and after adjusting the duvet, Dad sat down near my head softly running his hand through my hairs. It was the most comforting thing that I have felt in a really really long time. And as I closed my eyes, I felt the exhaustion finally taking over but unlike any other day, it was laced with the comfort of Dad's warmth and inwardly I tried to held onto that feeling for as long as I could. 

Because when I woke up tomorrow, its going to be the same again.

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A/N: Hey there guys! Happy Sunday! Here's the next update and I hope you like it. For the first few chapters in the starting I am trying to add the past and the present story in Mia's life to set in the contrast between her relationship with Ethan because that is very important before Mr. Tristan Jacques barges in. So I hope you are liking the story so far...thank you so much for your support and love!