Temptation : The Obsession (Book 2 of Temptation Series)

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                                                                     Mia   (Present Day)

I stared out the window at the dark bleak day. It has been raining since morning and man do I hate rain especially when it  keeps going all through the day. Everything just gets harder. Its hard to drive especially in the f*****g New York traffic. I don't know why but everything smells like mildew and its just wet everywhere. And that really disgusts me. 

"Mia?" I drag my eyes to the owner of the voice who called my name and give her a sheepish smile. I was distracted again. And it was costly to get distracted here. 

"Yeah?" I muttered, focusing on the sophisticated blonde haired woman sitting in front of me with a soft but at the same time stern face. Maybe her eyes were stern and the rest of the features were comparatively kinder. 

Why does that even matter?

Dr. Susana Simpson has been my therapist for a very long time. I have been coming to her ever since my fall out with Tristan. I stopped some two or maybe a year and half ago after I got married. Yes, I was married. And its been three years since that happened. Sometimes I can't help but marvel at how funny that sounds even to me. Mia Garner was now Mia Garner Taylor. Time goes by real quick, I guess. It just seemed like yesterday when I shifted to New York or when I met this enigmatic, funny client who was now my husband, Ethan Taylor. Life moved so quick for me that it was uncanny. 

But coming back to Dr. Susana, she knew me very well. Better than anyone has ever known me. That kind of relationship of course comes at a cost, two hundred dollars an hour to be exact but sometimes I feel that its worth it. At least I can talk my heart out with her. She understands me and its comforting since even I fail to understand myself sometimes. I come here and we talk, have some coffee and I go back home at a little ease with my mind. Its the ritual for every Wednesdays and Fridays. And even if its just an hour, I look forward to it. Because that's when I feel like myself. Like Mia Garner. 

Back at home I was a different person altogether. Not me. That woman is a wife, shifting her needs and likes to fit her husband's needs and wants first. That woman is a mother, running around like crazy to make sure that her child is well fed and taken care of even if she completely forgets to have her lunch most of the week. And that woman is also a working woman who is required to put the needs of her client before hers. It was same at home. It was same at work. Others before me. The typical life of a woman. And its not like that made me sad or something. I love to see my husband and my child happy and safe. I love to see my clients satisfied as well. It was just that in this two hours of the week, I could be myself. Finally get the time to sit and think about what's going on in my head. And I guess for that, two hundred dollars was not a hefty sum. After all it was important to be in touch with your inner self, wasn't it? 

"So...what do you wanna talk about today?" Susana asked and I shrugged nonchalantly. 

"Nothing in particular," I answered. 

"Okay...I see," She nodded her head, her expert eyes scrutinizing me as I fiddled with my promise ring.  "How's Ethan?" 

"Good. Busy as always," I replied and tried to sound enthusiastic. "Very busy actually these days. Hardly have any time," 

"Hmm," She smiled. "Mia...did you talk to him about it. You know you need to, right?" 

"Talk to him about what?" I inquired, frowning at her. Sometimes she says something and then switches to something else in the blink of an eye. I guess these shrinks were all the same. Weird.

"About you. What you are feeling. Last time you said you were getting very restless these days. Did you tell him about that?" She asked and I shrugged. Who tells anybody that?

"Am I supposed to talk to him about all these stuff?" I inquired, a bit puzzled. 

"Mia...Ethan is your husband," Dr. Susana admonished. "You are supposed to talk to him about things that you are thinking about. Things that worries you or even makes you happy," 

"I know...but he is...he is just so busy these days," I muttered. "I don't want to bother him with trivial stuff," 

"This is not trivial, Mia," Dr. Susana said seriously. "I told this to you before as well when you were coming here for Tr..." 

I looked up at her and she pursued her lips, shooting me a knowing look. It was a name that nobody was allowed to take in front of me. Not even myself. It was a name I have permanently erased from my life four years ago. Nobody was allowed to utter that ever again. 

"I told you this before as well," She clarified. "That you have to put your feelings...whatever it is that you are thinking out there. Articulate your emotions. Because nobody will magically read everything that goes inside your head. Not even me and I am a specialist," 

"Wait a second...why are we even talking about this again?" I demanded, a bit sternly then I intended. "Is this some kind of new therapy you are trying?" 

"Mia," She answered, her voice no-nonsense. "You are lonely. The kind of symptoms that you told me way back when you started coming in again...they are all signs of loneliness. And over the months that I have studied you...it has just been increasing," 

"But aren't we all lonely?" I answered cutting her off. 

"Yes...we all are," She nodded her head. "To a certain extent. But beyond that you need to seek medical attention. You are standing on the precipice of what is normal against what is concerning. Which is why I am asking you to reach out. To whoever you seem comfortable if not Ethan. Though I would suggest him because he is the one closest to you. He is your husband. Talk to him. Ask him to take some time out for you. Go for a romantic dinner or something," 

"I think I gotta go," I said hurriedly, grabbing my purse. "I have to pick Mace up from his daycare so. I will see you next week," 

"Well, maybe bring Ethan next time...for couples counselling?" Dr. Susana suggested, giving me a knowing look. Of course she knew I was escaping. I had a tendency to do that. Escape from the truth...overlook the truth. Even after it has cost me so badly earlier. I guess old habits dies hard after all. 

"I...I don't know," I shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't think he believes in this stuff. Hell, he doesn't even know I come here," 

"Try," She encouraged. "I can talk to him...if you like? Tell him about your condition?" 

"Susana...I am fine," I said firmly halting the conversation right there. "Trust me. I will see you next week," 

As I drove back home after picking up Mason, my one year old fast asleep on the back seat, I pondered over what Susana said. It was weird to be honest, paying someone just to have them tell you what you already know deep down. I knew I was lonely and I necessarily didn't need to shell out two hundred bucks to have her tell me that. But deep down I knew that I need to hear it out loud from someone else. And it was weird. Mia you are lonely...how does that even sound? And she expects me to tell Ethan that. How do you tell someone that you are lonely? How do you tell your husband that something was not right in your relationship. That you can feel it inside yourself when everything just seems perfect otherwise? 

When I reached home, I could hear Carla Bruni singing stand by your man  inside. The door was unlocked as well. Mason's nanny Zoe was on off today, then who was home? I walked in and placed still fast asleep Mason on the living room couch before heading towards the kitchen from where the music was coming. I was surprised to see Ethan humming to himself, cooking going on full swing and to my amusement he was almost dancing to the song while taking occasional sips of his wine. He looked adorable. My perfect kitchen was a perfect mess but it made me happy to see him relaxed for once. Otherwise, its always his phone, laptop, files and meetings. He hardly has time for himself...how can I expect him to offer time to me then? 

"Hi," I smiled, leaning by the door frame. Brown eyes looked up and a big smile spread on his lips and he looked almost sheepish for some reason. 

Four years ago, Ethan landed in my life unexpectedly and almost like a blessing. It was a time in my life when I was almost on the verge of losing myself. To me, he was just another client but I didn't expect him to pick me up when I least expected it. And four years later, we were proud parents to a beautiful son. We both had great careers, a comfortable life for which both of us work as hard as we can and from outside everything seemed just picture perfect. And maybe it was. But there was just something that wasn't working. Ethan was too busy to realise that but I was feeling that for a very long time. I just didn't know how to make him understand that. 

"Hi," He answered walking towards me and pulling me up in a tight hug.

 I wrapped my arms around him and closed my eyes, inhaling his musky scent. This was what I missed. Him. I missed him and the contact both physical and emotional. That's what I missed. Because despite of living under the same roof, we lived in two different worlds. And I don't blame him for any of that. He was working very hard to succeed. To provide us the best possible life. I can't hold him guilty for that, can I?

"When did you get home?" I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck. He was beautiful as well but unlike Tristan, he was beautiful both inside out. He was smart and kind and funny and respected me and my boundaries, my work and above all that loved me selflessly. Everything I was desperately searching for in Tristan. I found in him. Life seldom gives a second chance but I was one of those lucky ones who managed to get one. And I was eternally grateful for that. 

"An hour ago," He smiled at me. "Where's Mason?" 

"Sleeping," I replied, wiping something and I presumed it to be tomato sauce from the corner of his lips.  "Weren't you supposed to be in a meeting?" 

"I canceled," He muttered. "Apparently, today is something really special," 

Special? I frowned at him. What was it today? It wasn't definitely neither of ours birthday nor it was our anniversary. Then what was it today? 

"Special?" I inquired and he nodded. 

"Today is woman's day," He answered with a smile. "I came to find out when my social media people showed me the post they updated on our page this morning. And that's when I realised something," 

"Realised what?" I asked. Ethan stared at me long and hard and then leaning down kissed me softly on the lips. How long has it been since he last kissed me? Truth to be told, I can't even remember. 

"That while we were preparing incentives for our female staff on the occasion of Woman's day, I was actually forgetting the most important woman in my life," He replied, tracing my cheeks with his thumb. "That's why I canceled all my meetings and stuff for today and came straight home," 

"Aw...that's sweet," I smiled brightly at him, undoubtedly touched. These little gestures were what separated him from Tristan. And I was disgusted momentarily for bringing that name up at this moment. 

"No really, Mia," He said going all serious. "I really want to thank you on behalf of Mason and me. You work so hard all the time taking care of us. I am hardly ever there. And I could hardly give you time but you never complaint. Thank you so much for making our life...my life so beautiful and easier," 

"I love you," I whispered, hugging him again. I loved how I perfectly fit inside his arms and its warmth and safety were one of the things I cherished dearly with my life. 

"I love you too," He murmured, tightening his arms around me. At the moment, I felt like going with Susana's advice and talking to him about my situation. That I needed him to be with me, his arms around me just like this because I was slowly starting to loose myself. I wanted to tell him that I was scared of being alone. It was something from my past that I couldn't let go off. And I was terrified of that. 

"Ethan...I want to ask you of something," I whispered, pulling away. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. Articulating my feelings was not something I was good at. I felt like I was committing a crime or something for no reason. 

"Of course...what is it?" His brown eyes peered down at me questioningly. I opened my mouth to tell him what Susana said but instead what came out of my mouth was...

"Let's make love tonight?" I said and Ethan smiled, visibly relaxing as he pressed his forehead to mine. 

"Yes," He muttered seductively. "I think that's a very good idea, Mrs. Taylor. But before that...I took the pleasure to prepare a three course meal just for you. Will you do the honor?" 

"I would love to," I answered, inwardly appalled at myself. "I just need to put Mace in bed. I'll be right back," 

"Nuh-uh," He shook his head. "Its your day today. I'll do that. You, my lovely wife just sit back and enjoy and relax," 

I smiled at him and nodded. Kissing me on the top of my head, he disappeared while I fumbled back to the armchair by the window, feeling exhausted for no reason. What was wrong with me? He was my husband for God sake. Why was it so hard to just tell him that I need him to give a little more time to me. I sighed and decided to just let it go. Instead, I made up my mind to focus on his sweet gestures to make me feel special. And I also tried to drive comfort from the fact that his inability to give me time, it was not intentional. He was just helpless. Unlike a certain someone. 

That night he made love to me for the first time in more than six months despite the fact that we lived in the same house and shared the same bedroom. Ethan has fallen fast asleep with his arms thrown around my torso while I was wide awake staring up at the ceiling. 

I had known Ethan for more than a year and a half before deciding to get married and it was amazing. He was a great boyfriend and it took him all but just one meeting to win over my parents, especially my mother who had completely given up on me by that time and I don't blame her to be honest. He remembered important days and picked me up from office mainly because I had recently moved to New York and hardly knew my way around. He used to be pretty busy at that time as well but he made sure to get time out for me. 

The first year of marriage was just as good, maybe even better. I loved my married life. Second year, the news of Mace's birth came along and even though we hadn't plan for a child so early on, we decided to get along with it. I guess that's when the distance started to set in. Ethan started to get busier and busier with his work, expanding his company and trying to lend me help with Mace as well.

 For me it was even more taxing, the sleepless nights, the relentless crying, I was always tired and cranky, household work, deciding to put my career on hold for a year. Everything was happening so fast that we both didn't realise how things have changed. Neither of us had time for each other. Sometimes he would come home late from work and be so exhausted that he would crash on the couch only. I would be waiting for him upstairs only to come down and see that he was fast asleep. There was no sort of physical contact between us and sometimes that would frustrate me to the point of lashing out at him for no particular reason.

 But the thing was that neither of us complained. Because I understood that he was working so hard for us only. While he knew that I was going through a lot at the moment. Eventually, we got use to this routine and I started to drift towards the road of loneliness. And today I was standing on the precipice of normality and seeking medical attention. And despite that, I still couldn't bring myself to tell him that I needed him now. I would be satisfied if he could just devote an hour completely to me. Talk to me, hold my hand, make me laugh just like he used to or just make love to me like he did tonight. I turned my eyes to his peaceful face and sighed. 

I just couldn't say that to him. Because I was afraid of conflicts. I was terrified of conflicts, thanks to Tristan. And I was afraid of losing him. But above all, I was afraid that I was expecting too much from him without giving in even half of it. Because this person left his life behind in Seattle and followed me to New York to be with me, to support me without ever asking a single question. So after all that...was it fair to expect anything more from him? 

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A/N: Here's the first chapter guys! I loved it much better than the one in book 1. I hope you do too! Let me know! Eagerly waiting for your feedback!! Enjoy!