She Will Be Mine (New Horizon Book 2)

Chapter 15: The Sleepover

Ronnie

It turns out that Jason isn’t just staying near Shrader Lake, he’s literally staying in the town of Shrader Lake. I don’t even know if he realizes that there’s a small lake nearby where he can go boating or fishing or whatever other outdoorsy things he might be into. He said he picked it because it was the closest place to stay near me.

I’m not about to break his heart or his wallet by telling him that there’s a bed and breakfast right down the street from Clarice’s shop. It’s just not advertised online, and honestly, the owners are a little weird. If you stay there, you might end up helping them change lightbulbs or wash dishes or any other odd jobs they can think of. It kind of seems like Jason already has enough people coming after him for help with random chores.

On the drive to his motel, he confesses that Aly told him about Clarice and sent him to talk to her already. I’d be more bothered by that going on behind my back, except he goes on to tell me how Clarice wouldn’t even tell him anything.

“I spent three hours lifting, moving, sorting, dumping, stirring, and pretty much everything else she could come up with for me to do, until finally I got the nerve to ask if she actually intended to tell me anything that might help me get to know you or if she was just looking for free labor, and you know what she said?”

He’s laughing, so I can already see where this is going.

“I’m betting she went for the free labor,” I guess, smirking at him and picturing the smug look Clarice would have given him about that.

He nods, still chuckling as he continues his story. “She told me I seem like a nice boy, but it isn’t her place to get involved in someone else’s business, so if I want to know more about you, I’d have to ask you myself. I guess I should just count myself lucky that I didn’t drop anything. Some of that stuff probably could have turned me into a toad or something.”

He’s not wrong about that. Clarice’s inventory is no joke. But at least I know I really can count on her to keep my secrets. Even Jason can’t charm his way into getting her to talk.

“You kind of had that coming, though. You were literally sneaking around my town behind my back,” I remind him, though by this point I’m not upset about that anymore. I’m laughing with him, and it is pretty funny that he went to so much trouble for nothing.

His expression suddenly turns serious, and it looks like he might be struggling to find the right words to say. Considering that the right words usually just flow out of him, it worries me.

“My biggest fear is scaring you away again, Ronnie. I don’t even know for sure what I did wrong the first time, and I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about it and trying to figure it out. About two years, in fact. I eventually concluded that I must have been coming on too strong, trying to initiate conversations with you too often, making you feel railroaded into something you weren’t ready for. It meant everything to me that you offered to text me again, and I didn’t want to screw it up this time. I barely knew you when I came here, and I felt like I needed to learn more so I would know how to talk to you without making you uncomfortable and chasing you off again. I won’t be able to handle it if I lose you a second time.”

He has kept his eyes on the road, his hands clenching the steering wheel as he confesses all that to me, but once he’s done speaking, he finally glances my way to read my reaction.

The combination of his words and the desperate, vulnerable look he gives me takes my breath away and leaves me sitting there not even able to come up with words to say to him.

“And for the record, staying here wasn’t my idea,” he goes on when he realizes I’m still speechless. “It was Aly’s. I only asked her for the weekend off and approval to leave pack grounds so I could attend your graduation, but she suggested taking an extended leave of absence to take another shot at getting close to you. I wasn’t about to turn that down. I’ve been a wreck, Ronnie. It got harder and harder for me the more time that passed without hearing anything from you.”

He pauses for a moment, pursing his lips together as he thinks, before continuing with what he was saying.

“I was going to say you don’t know what it’s like to have a mate but not be able to have your mate with you, but I suppose that’s not entirely true. You do know what it’s like, you just don’t know what it’s like for me. I don’t have any of the control here. I don’t know what you feel or what you want, and a lot of the time, I’m just sitting and waiting for you to reach out. But don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I’m just explaining that I do stupid stuff like sneak around your town behind your back because that’s my way of doing something, anything, that feels like getting close to you, but I do it carefully because I can’t take the risk of pushing you away. I just hope that telling you all this doesn’t end up doing exactly that anyway.”

He gives me that broken, vulnerable look again and I realize it’s because I haven’t said anything to reassure him or show him where I’m at with it all. That’s because I haven’t had a chance to fully process what he’s telling me and think it over, and I’m not sure if I even can while he’s here with me. I feel a lot of things, though I’m not sure what they are yet. I also feel bad for him, and guilty that I’ve made him feel all these things for all this time.

I guess I’d hoped that by cutting off our contact early like I did, it would make it easier for both of us. It would give us some time and space to figure things out, and it would give me time to finish my education and plan out what I’m doing with my life before even attempting to factor a man into it, mate or not. Of course, him showing up again has put a wrench in all that, but I never stopped to consider why he showed up now, even knowing that I had more plans ahead of me that didn’t involve him.

I realize now that I might just be the stupidest smart person on the planet. I’ve done all that reading about mates, and yet I still let myself believe that a werewolf could just shut all that off because I never gave him more than a few texts. I know better than that. He was all in from the moment he saw me, and I knew it. I’ve been cruel.

But that doesn’t mean I’m ready for what he wants either. What I am ready to do is not hold it against him in the least that he’s been doing what he can to get close to me, as weird and borderline stalkerish as it may seem to me. I let it go days ago. I’ve been focusing on having a good time and enjoying his company today, and that’s what I’ll continue to do. Mulling over all this heavy feelings stuff will have to wait for later.

At some point he parked the car in front of the motel where he’s been staying. I don’t even know how long ago because I wasn’t paying attention, but since we’re stationary again, I reach my hand out for him to take. It’s the best I’ve got for him right now, with all the thoughts swirling around in my head and not forming into actual words or answers yet.

“I don’t know what to say to all that, Jason, but I do know I’ve really been enjoying myself with you today, and I’m not ready for that to end yet. So, can we go in and put our books to bed now?”

His relief is palpable as he exhales forcefully and gives me a grateful smile, snatching up the hand I’m offering him as though he’s afraid I might change my mind.

“Of course. And thank you, Ronnie. Not just for telling me that, but for agreeing to come out with me today and trusting me enough to let me bring you back here. This has been the best day I’ve had in a long, long time.”

“Me too,” I smile back at him.

And it really has been. I don’t even remember the last time I’ve smiled so much, laughed out loud, or enjoyed such extensive conversations with another person. Especially not since Aly lived with me, and it’s different with Jason than it was with her.

The nervous, anxious, overthinking parts of me are terrified of whatever has been happening between us lately, but I seem to be getting better at ignoring those parts. This is the first actual summer vacation I’ve had in years, and I intend to enjoy it. I’ll worry about what happens later, later.

-

-

Jason

I learn when we’re ordering pizza together that Ronnie’s sensory sensitivities most definitely extend to food.

“What do you like on your pizza?” I ask her. It seems like a reasonable, innocent question.

“Nothing,” is the surprising answer I get.

Nothing? What does that even mean? The whole point of pizza is to pile on the toppings.

She seems to sense my confusion because a few seconds later she adds, “Just cheese. I like a plain cheese pizza. I don’t like how it feels when it has all kinds of stuff on it.”

“Oh, okay,” I tell her, trying not to make a big deal out of it.

I know she’s sensitive about people thinking she’s picky or difficult. That’s not what I think at all. Honestly, the more I learn about the things she’s “picky” about, the more I understand her. I can't even imagine what it’s like living in a body that’s constantly at odds with the world around it, and all I want is to help her be as comfortable as possible.

“I like the things most people put on pizza, I just prefer them separately,” she continues to explain.

“It’s okay, Ronnie. If you want a cheese pizza, you get a cheese pizza. I’ll just order another one with all the toppings for me.”

“That seems like a lot, though. You can just get what you want, and I’ll eat it.”

She’s been sitting on my bed, and I’ve been making a point of giving her space while she adapts to being alone with me by letting her have the whole bed to herself while I sit in the one chair in the room instead, but that means there’s too much space between us for me to reach my hand out to her. I love that she seems to be receptive to touching my hand and enjoys it as much as I do, and it really does seem to make her feel less anxious around me.

So, I get up and carefully make my way to the bed, watching her for any sign that it makes her uncomfortable. I notice that her breath catches when she realizes what I’m about to do and then she starts breathing more rapidly as her heart accelerates, but she doesn’t say anything or try to stop me. I scootch up next to her, being careful to leave space between us so that our bodies don’t touch anywhere else, and then I hold out my hand.

“There’s a fridge in my room,” I point out to her as she takes my hand. “So, I’m not worried about leftovers. Besides, if we order extra now, breakfast will be taken care of too.”

What she probably doesn’t realize is that my heart is beating faster now too, and I feel about as breathless as she is. It’s intense being this close to her, even though I have been most of the day.

It’s also a bit difficult. She feels so close and yet so far away. Everything in me wants to pull her in for a hug, to touch every part of her, but thankfully, there are also the rational and compassionate parts of me that keep me from making that mistake. She gave me a lot when she decided to take my hand, and that’s enough for now.

“Alright,” she agrees finally.

I pull my phone from my pocket and bring up the now familiar number to the pizza place that’s only a couple miles away. I’m sure it’s not going to do me any favors in the long run that I’ve been having so much pizza and fast food, but I can’t say I’ve not been enjoying it.

A few minutes later, with our dinner order placed and on the way, we’re scrolling through the cable menu looking for something to watch together.

“This might surprise you, but I actually don’t watch a lot of movies,” she confesses. “I enjoy movies, but I rarely get a chance to sit down and watch one. Well, it’s more like when I have that chance, it isn’t usually a movie I choose to spend my time on. But I used to watch one every week with my dormmates.”

Her confession doesn’t surprise me in the least, not only because she seems more the type to pick up a book than a television remote, but also because that’s something Aly has shared with me before.

“Yeah, movie night with the dormies. I’ve heard about it from Aly,” I tell her, smiling at her adorable surprised face.

“Yeah, that’s right. That tradition continued even after she left, but most of the girls who started there with us eventually went their separate ways. I was the only one still living there for my last year.”

“Surely there were new people who came and took their place?”

“Surely,” she retorts, and I can tell she’s teasing me for my choice of words. “But I’m not like Aly. I don’t just walk up to new people and instantly turn them into friends.”

“I don’t think it’s that simple even for her, though I do see your point. Aly is quite friendly and approachable,” I agree with her.

“Don’t get me wrong, though. I didn’t mind being alone. It makes it easier to focus when I don’t have to juggle social stuff with my academics.”

She gives me a look that makes me wonder if she’s thinking along the same lines that I am. That social stuff that she hates juggling with her studies probably includes me, and I don’t know how it’s going to go with us once she goes back to school. I’ve been avoiding even mentioning the issue so far because I want to just enjoy her, as much of her as she’ll give me for as long as she’ll let me.

“How do you feel about books turned into movies?” I ask her, deftly changing the subject. “Because a lot of the best options I’m seeing are exactly that.”

She gives me a coy smile that I’m not entirely certain the meaning of, and then she answers, “It really depends on the movie. Some are done well and are quite satisfying, and others make me wish I’d never bothered. But I think the trick is to accept that a movie is a different artform than a book. It can pay homage to a story without trying to replicate it exactly, and sometimes, it’s more interesting when a movie turns out differently than the book.”

“It kind of sounds like you have a lot of experience with books-turned-movies for someone who doesn’t really watch a lot of movies,” I can’t resist the urge to tease her.

“It may or may not be true that books-turned-movies is my favorite movie genre, and I have a love-hate relationship with them.”

“Well, Miss Veronica, I never in my life would have guessed that about you. It’s just so shocking and unexpected,” I say dramatically, fanning myself for extra emphasis.

She slaps my arm, laughing at my theatrics, and takes the remote from me.

“Just for that, I get to pick,” she insists.

I have to say, bossy is a good look for her. I also like that she’s demonstrating a level of comfort with me that I definitely did not expect to see so soon. The sage advice from pretty much any elder werewolf is always to initiate contact with your mate as soon as possible because that’s the most effective way to bond. It’s so true. I can feel it. Touching each other today has changed everything.

There’s a knock at the door, so I hop up to go get the pizza while she settles on what movie we’re going to watch. I see when I get back that she chose something very science fictiony, but I haven’t seen it before so I’m game.

“One cheesy pizza for m’lady,” I say as I hand her the smaller box and some napkins.

She snickers and shakes her head, amused by me yet again, and I slide back into my spot beside her with my own pizza trying not to congratulate myself too much.

“So, it looks like aliens and spaceships are on the agenda for tonight’s feature presentation?” I ask about the movie.

“Yep, plus colonization of foreign worlds and a dash of otherworld politics and warfare.”

“Perfect.”

I reach up to turn off the light on my side, leaving only the one by her still on as I settle back against the pillows and dig into my pizza.

We’re quiet for a while, silently eating and watching the movie. Once we both seem finished with our food, I collect the boxes and set them aside so we have space to settle in and get more comfortable.

It’s not even an hour later that I feel her head lean against me. It surprises me to no end and my immediate reaction is to grin like an i***t, but then I look down at her and see that she’s fallen asleep.

Uh oh. What is the correct thing for me to do here? Wake her so she can finish the movie? Wake her so I can offer to take her home? Finish the movie and see if she’s still sleeping by then?

That’s what I ultimately decide to do. She agreed to hang out with me through a whole movie, and even though I’m sure she’d prefer to be watching it, I selfishly want to leave her exactly how she is. I love the feel of her against me, and I’m going to soak it in for as long as I can reasonably get away with.

But once the movie is over and it’s clear to me that Ronnie is out for the count, I still don’t know what to do. So, because I’m me, I do something stupid. I search for Ronnie’s phone so I can use it to find her mom’s number and text her to ask for further instructions. It occurs to me after I’ve already done it that Ronnie might consider that an invasion of privacy, but it’s too late to go back now.

You’re saying she’s sound asleep? Do you know how rare that is? comes Vivian’s response a few seconds later.

I need photo evidence, she demands directly after her first message.

I don’t feel great about that idea. Ronnie can’t even consent to me taking her picture right now, and I feel like a peeping Tom or something doing that while she’s asleep.

I don’t think Ronnie would be very happy about me taking her picture right now, but I promise you she is sound asleep, I send back to her instead of a photo.

You’re probably right. But listen, I’m going to leave it up to you what to do about it. If you decide to keep her there, make sure you put some distance between you two. Keep all your clothes on. Don’t touch her if you can avoid it. Sleep somewhere else if that’s an option. But honestly, if she’s asleep, I say leave her alone. She hasn’t been sleeping well lately and could use the rest.

I like that response, but mostly for selfish reasons. I don’t want to give Ronnie back yet, even if she is just sleeping and I can’t even touch her. She’s here, and that’s the important part. If it means she gets some much-needed rest, then that’s even better.

What time does she need to be back in the morning to watch the girls? I ask her next, knowing that this was Vivian’s day off and that likely means she will be working again tomorrow.

Don’t worry about it. I’ve got it covered. Just let her sleep as long as she wants.

I can do that. I don’t have to go in to help Buddy until the afternoon, so we can both sleep in. Now there’s just one last problem. Where in the heck am I supposed to sleep?

My eyes dart around and give the room a once-over as I consider my options. The bed is large enough for two people, but if I let myself fall asleep there’s no guarantee that I won’t try to cuddle her, and I don’t think she would appreciate that. That just leaves the chair, or maybe the floor. I’ve had worse, like the times that I’ve slept outside in the woods on the damp, unforgiving ground exposed to all the elements as part of my warrior training. At least the floor is dry, carpeted, and there’s an extra pillow I can take with me.

I’m tempted to pull back the bedding and try tucking Ronnie into the bed a little better, but then I remember her telling me about certain textures and fabrics making her skin crawl. Bedding needs to be soft and smooth, or she can’t stand it. The sheets under the bedspread are the coarse, scratchy ones she hates, so I’m not even going to bother. Instead, I go to the closet and pull out a couple of my overshirts that I think meet her criteria, using those to cover her so she won’t get cold.

Then I grab my pillow and search out a good spot on the floor, one with enough space that won’t block Ronnie’s path to the bathroom if she needs to get up during the night.

Even though my night ended with me on the floor in the same clothes I wore all day, I still think this has been the perfect first date with my mate. It took us over two years to get here, and I don’t even know whether she considers it a date, but there is not a single thing I would change about it if I was ever given the chance to go back and do it all over.

Other than maybe booking a room with two beds beforehand.