Hallows: Black Death

Answer Enough

Motionless In White- Somebody Told Me

Lucien:

"You told her you were in love with her? When?" I growl when we were in my car.

"Doesn't matter," he turns the radio up. Tech N9ne Red Kingdom is my s**t but right now, I can't with him. This is bullshit.

"It f*****g matters to me, Carson," I press the power button on my steering wheel to turn the system off. He groans sitting back without looking at me.

"Lucien, you wanted me to f*****g fix it. I f*****g fixed it. What's the problem?" he sounds bored. He always sounds like he can care less when it comes to B.B. and I f*****g hate it. He can never be straight with me about this. The last time we talked about her, he told me all he wanted from her was the f*****g black mamba's fury. That it had nothing to do with emotions.

"You f*****g told her you're in love with her, Carson. We've talked about s**t like this," he's breaking all kinds of rules where it concerns her. Why the f**k should I follow them? Why the f**k do we have them if he's going to do whatever the f**k her wants?

"I am in love with her," he growls. "I've been in love with this girl since before I even knew what f*****g love was. My relationship with her is not the same as your relationship with her. It's not the same as our relationship. What we talk about away from you and the others is none of your f*****g concern. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Everything is f*****g wrong with me. You're f*****g breaking the rules, Cari," I hit the brakes when I turned into our driveway stopping inches away from the garage door.

"Jesus," he rubs the back of his neck. "Look, I get you're upset about her interest in the other crows-"

"Two of them. You f*****g saw her. She can't help it,"

My hands are trembling as I grip the steering wheel I've been on edge all day. The way she looked at Rigo Jimenez of all f*****g people. Why the f**k did it have to be that piece of s**t? Victor, Victor I can handle but Jimenez. I'll kill him before he puts his filthy f*****g hands on my girl.

"Is this about Rigo?" he asks.

"Yes, this about f*****g Rigo," I pull the handle to open the door.

It opens but the handle snaps right off. The crows around us take flight when hot rage floods my body. I slam the piece in my hand on the ground as hard as I could and kick the s**t out of it. The plastic flies across the street and impales the windshield of the car parked in the driveway across the street. At first, it's a little hole in the glass but then the glass shatters without breaking.

"Bro," Carson laughs.

"f**k," I roar burying my hands in my hair. "Why aren't you f*****g pissed about this?"

"I am," he sighs. He shuts his door and then comes over to shut mine so I won't break anything else. "Come on. Let's get you inside so you can stand under the f*****g AC box. I need to feed Timothy,"

As soon as he opens the front door, his little orange-stripped furball meows and runs over to him excitedly. The little guy rubs his body against his boots as he tries to walk inside. He found him in the middle of a shootout in the southside. He put him in his hood and now he lives here. He named him Timothy after his favorite Robin.

"I hate that thing," I growl. Timothy looks up at me and hisses arching his little back. "Yeah, f**k you too, Tim,"

"Dude," Carson laughs. "He's a baby,"

"Shut up," I go over to the kitchen entrance to turn the AC box on. I stand under it while he feeds his stupid cat. I don't really hate him. He's actually really cute with his big green kitty eyes and extra fluffy fur. My body tenses up from the sudden rush of cold. "I missed you,"

"It's pretty cold in B.B's lab,"

"Not cold enough," I sigh with relief. "How are you so f*****g chill about this?"

"I don't have a f*****g choice," he groans going over to the fridge. He begins to pull things out to make food. Carson is always hungry but he's a terrible cook. I usually take over for him when he starts making a mess. Making a mess is part of his stupid personality. "You feel that s**t don't you? You've seen the size of her mamba? It shouldn't be that big yet. The Reaper is too f*****g-" he pauses. "Her darkness combined with Dante's. We have no f*****g control over the f*****g situation anymore. Delilah f****d us,"

"Come on, man," I miss her.

Of course, I do. She's been my best friend ever since I can remember but she was his partner. He's been a little lost without her. Angrier. Motivated to prove that he doesn't need her. I know a little hottie that probably feels the distance between the two of them because of it. Ever since B.B. started coming around he's been more and more eager to prove that we can do this without Delilah. That he can work with B.B. despite his personal emotions.

"She was supposed to be here. She was supposed to help us," he throws a pan on the stove. It slides over the glass surface with a loud clatter that startles Timothy where he's eating.

It's only now dawned on me that he's in just as much pain as the rest of us. Carson just turned seventeen. I forget that sometimes. We all do. He's been holding it all down on his own since Delilah's opt-out. We've come as far as we have because of him. I mean I'm just the muscle. He says do this and I do it. He hides everything so well. I'm a f*****g asshole for letting him go on like he is but he's an asshole for not letting any of us in.

"Carson-"

"I can't even be mad at her for it," he continues. "You can't be either, Lucy. She has no f*****g idea what it is she really is. We barely understand it. You know exactly how this s**t in us is. It doesn't just demand what it needs. It demands what it wants. Victor, Rigo, you, me. Not a need but a want,"

"It f*****g hurts," I admit sitting in the baby blue beanbag chair I put here when I bought the AC box to cool off. "I didn't even want to share her with you. We have all these f*****g rules and none of them are stopping us from tearing each other apart. I put my hands on you the other day,"

"That was on me," he sighs as he starts preparing his meal again. "I f*****g pushed you. We knew this was going to be hard,"

"Between us. Victor and Rigo of all f*****g people were not part of the f*****g deal. It's the black mamba in her. D really f****d us in this. I've never f*****g hated myself for being mad at someone this way,"

"Me too," he agrees. Timothy climbs on my lap and settles himself on my chest. I'm hot right now. I lift my hoodie for him, he crawls right in.

"This is all f****d,"

I'm calm now. The heat inside of me always makes me a little impatient and when I'm around B.B. My body is always on fire. Her cold skin draws my heat to her and it cools me. It hurts. It hurts so good. I crave it. I need her but it just pisses me off that I'm not enough. Will they be enough? Will four be the limit? Does she even want all four of us? Would they be willing to share this with us? She needs to feed but knowing her, she's going to take more than just our bodies. There's no way she'd accept that. Not without a connection and man was she connecting with Rigo Jimenez in that booth. It completely caught him off guard. He saw the deadly intent in her eyes when she told him she had marked Luis's soul.

This goes beyond love, I think. Maybe it isn't love at all. I'm f*****g obsessed. No man in their right mind would f*****g consider this otherwise. I have two options. Accept that the f*****g Reaper is going to tear her apart to fit all of us into her soul or just walk away.

"Would you be able to walk away?" Carson asks as if reading my mind. It often feels like he lives inside my head. "If she did accept them. Would you walk away?"

Hearing him say it out loud. f**k, the sharp ache in my chest is answer enough. Belladonna Blackstone with her big demonic sad eyes. Belladonna with long silky hair. Bella and her f*****g sexy amazonian body. B.B. is the strongest girl I've ever met. Blackstone is the badest b***h in Hellbourne. f**k.

She eludes confidence. Even when she was mourning. People just moved away from her as she walk alone with her head held high. She's worn black and pastel pink for way too long. The other girls in school took to the dark academia wear for a while because of it. There's arrogance and power to back it up. She doesn't have anything to prove her presence alone speaks for itself and on top of all of that. B.B. is a f*****g decent human being. Perfection is what she is. I can't. I can't watch her exist from a distance anymore. Not after I've held her, tasted her, devoured every inch, and felt the coldness of her lonely soul inside of me.

"No," I slam my head against the wall. "I can't f*****g walk away. Even if it f*****g kills me. I can't for the life of me walk away,"

"We're going to need to expand into the city," he crouches down in front of me. He pressed his forehead to mine with his big ass hand on the top of my head. "I need access to Mariah's girls. Stacy wants to add them to our roster. They're getting killed out there,"

"Business," I nod. This is good. I need to refocus this ache inside of me. The last thing I need is to make her take too much. She can kill me. I'd die happily but it would cost her more than any of us want to admit right now. So, business. "Good outlet for this s**t,"

"I hate to say this but I need B.B. to distract Victor long enough for us to get a shot at their devil," he says calmly. He's one hundred percent serious. Then again, I forget who it is I'm talking to. Carson Hayashi isn't just my little brother. He's a devil just like his mom and she lied out of her ass to keep my father and the two of us safe.

"That's not what we promised her," I shake my head.

"What B.B. doesn't know," he shrugs. "We have one shot and a really good excuse to back it up when B loses her s**t. Thompson tried to take a shot against her for flirting with Jimenez and for taking Damian. We have two motives. She won't be mad for too long,"

"You're a f*****g ass," I laugh.

"I need a f*****g release and I'm not talking about f*****g, Lucien. I've been itching to kill that b***h for years. She has her f*****g hand around my throat. You know that," he growls. "I want this. Get on board, brother,"

"Yeah, all right. Let's do it before Rigo finishes up here. Stacy said whatever B.B. told him f****d him up. He called her. Luis didn't show up at school today. My guess is he beat the s**t out of him and went on a rampage. Some of the Eastside suppliers were taken out. He's going after the brothers first,"

"She's a f*****g menace, isn't she?" he smiles, pulling away. The smile on his face is the face of a man who has completely given in to his fantasy. He really does love B.B. Motherfucker. "He's setting those souls up for the reapers. Not just for herself but for Damian as well. Now Dante,"

"Let's do our part. We need to feed our little Mercy," I nod. "We need to get Dante out of the f*****g way too. He gives me the creeps. The way he feeds is nuts. He makes them crazy. Crazier than B.B. does,"

"Yeah," he agrees. "I expect nothing less from the Black Death. We can use him for this. Until he's ready to take the toad with him. He'll feed. A reaper that powerful can only be used to our advantage. I love that he thinks we're just f*****g kids,"

"Me too. All right. I'm in. Thursday. We follow her to New City and we take the devil out," that's the plan but plans don't always work out the way we want them to. Especially not with this many players gunning for one another. "f*****g Victor,"