The Story of Another Us

chapter eight

The Story of Another Us

chapter eight: our last night of freedom, indeed

There is a lot to discover outside the comforts of your home. That is an established fact. A writer must go out in order to experience thing, turn it to something magical, and then write it down into words. Minsan, gugustuhin ko na lang lumabas para lang magkaroon ng inspirasyon at makapagsulat ng isang chapter. But I had never been the person who likes to go outside. Homey person lang siguro talaga ako. Nakakaitim kasi kapag lagi kang nasa labas. Tsaka mainit! Mausok! Madaming tao. Nakakarindi lang.

"Mundong ibabaw" as I call it inside my head. Siguro, kung nasusunog na 'yung mga bahay sa kabilang street hindi ko pa alam kung hindi ako magc-check ng trend list sa Twitter. I live under a rock. I like it at home. I have everything that I could possibly need in those four corners.

Pero heto na, may boyfriend (na naman) ako at hindi ko maiwasang hindi lumabas. Lalo na kung si Nicolo Monreal ang boyfriend mo, kailangan mo talagang lumabas. What are they paying you for if not for pictures of you together?

Kaya nandito na naman ako sa bahay ni Senator Monreal, iniintay na matapos ang pagm-makeup sa'kin ng kung sinong babae habang nakaupo si Epps sa kama. This is technically "my bedroom" in this house. Nandito daw ang lahat ng damit at gamit na ipapahiram sa'kin habang girlfriend pa ko ni Nicolo.

Sabado ngayon at heto na ang public debut na sinasabi ni Epps. Ngayon daw ia-announce officially ng partido ni Senator Monreal ang pagtakbo niya para maging presidente ng Pilipinas. There will be a lot of politicians and members of the press. Sinusubukan ko na nga lang hindi isipin para hindi ako kabahan. Pero wala eh, nandoon na siya sa ilalim ng sikmura ko at hindi 'yan aalis hangga't hindi natatapos ang gabing ito.

I'm wearing this white tube dress with daisies on the skirt. They honestly look like eggs if you don't look close enough, then there's a longer overlay that makes it look like it had been casted out of a fairytale book.

Tonight is actually a fundraising event for building new schools somewhere in the Philippines. The charity had been long sponsored by the senator and his wife.

Epps was filling me in earlier on who is Nicolo's mom. She is not a Carmen like the one in my book. She is a Camila, born in Ubec in Visayas but had lived here in Middle. Her family had always been rich and generous among the people. Hence, her popularity which had been very useful since she's holding one of the biggest foundations in the country.

I am not nervous to meet her. Strangely. But I think she's kind of cool. Maybe she's the type that is down with the kids but a little overprotective at some point—because, hello? She's the wife of the possibly future president and her kids will be the center of attention for the next six years, the media watching their every move trying to find a hole to bring the president down.

Just when the last stroke of the itchy brush on my cheek, a knock sounded through the room. The door opens and in comes Nicolo in all black except for the white bowtie on wrapped around his neck.

"Hello," I greet him. Ngayon ko lang kasi siya nakita eh. Sinundo kasi ako sa bahay at dinala diresto sa kwartong ito para mag-ayos. He looks like a torch and I can melt right this instant.

"Hey," he says and gets closer to share my mirror. "My mom is looking for you."

"Already?"

"Yeah," he huffs out. "Are you done?"

"Almost," sagot ko at sinilid na ang mga paa ko sa loob ng sapatos na kulay silver. White is the campaign color of Senator Monreal. "There."

Being the gentleman, he holds my hand and helps me off my seat. Okay naman ako sa pagsusuot ng heels. Although I highly doubt I can last that long with these killers on my feet. Dahan-dahan naman kaming naglakad at bumaba ng hagdan. Takot din naman akong malaglag 'no.

Bago pa man kami makatungtong sa huling hakbang, naririnig ko na ang boses ng isang babae na nag-uutos sa ilang kasambahay na i-check ang mga kung ano-ano. "...stop it, Cole. Come here. Wear your coat already."

"Ma?" tawag ni Nicolo pagpasok namin sa isang sala nila sa gilid. Nakaupo ang babae na naka-puti din. Sa gitna ng mga tuhod nito nandoon ang isang batang lalake na hanggang bewang ko lang siguro.

"Nic," she smiles brightly although looking a lot flustered with her red cheeks. Her hair is in a simple updo and she's wearing a white halter pantsuit. "Ah, Katerina, isn't it?"

"Kater," I correct her. "Hello po."

Binitawan naman na nito ang bata sa mga hita niya at tumayo. She's a bit tall for a lady lalo na ngayong naka-heels pa siya. "She is really pretty, just like you said," sabi nito kay Nicolo. "Look at you," sabi naman niya sa'kin at hinawakan ang mga kamay ko. I can definitely smell her expensive perfume. "Come. Call me Tita if you will."

Nicolo shrugs at me and lets his mom pull me away.

"Here, a little present for helping out our family and also for being with Nicolo. Fake or not you are his girlfriend," she smiles then hands me a rectangle black velvet box. "It's family tradition," she says while I open the box. "It's a locket. It has two chains and the pendant can be split in two. When Nicolo is away, you give him the other of the pair and when he returns, he will give it back. Same goes for you. Somehow, like taking a piece of each other when either of you is away."

There is a solid gold pendant in the size of a five-peso coin lying on the white smooth satin. Parang nasasakal na ko sa bigat wala pa 'to sa leeg ko.

"Want to put it on?" she kindly asks.

I smile at her and nod

"Nicolo," she calls him. "This is Nicholas Jr., by the way. We like to call him Cole," she says and turns to the kid running a toy car on the glass table. "He's only four."

"Aw," I can't help saying. He's still a baby. He hears me and his wide eyes settle on me before he smiles. He's has the complete set of baby teeth. Buti na lang.

Inabot naman ni Nic ang kwintas sa leeg ko. It has a double clasp. Ang hassle nitong hubadin mamaya at isuot ulit. Or maybe it's meant to be like that so I don't remove it. Malamig ang bakal nang tumama ito sa leeg ko pero mainit naman ang mga palad ni Nicolo nang hawakan niya ang dalawa kong balikat panandalian matapos niyang ikabit ito. True enough, the gold feels heavy.

"It suits you," he says.

"Thank you," sabi ko. Napaharap naman ako sa may pintuan nang marinig ko itong bumakas. Akala ko si Senator Nicholas na pero isang binata itong naka-tuxedo din. At hindi siya nag-iisang pumasok.

A dog suddenly starts barking. At me. What the f--. It has long golden fur and big beady eyes. A golden retriever.

"Popcorn!" sigaw naman ni Cole mula sa likod ko. A second later, he has his arms around the animal bigger than he is.

"Popcorn?" tanong ko kay Nicolo habang sinasaway ni Tita si Cole dahil didikit sa kaniya ang buhok ng aso.

"Cole named him," nakangiti nitong sabi habang pinapanood ang kapatid bago inilipat ang mata sa lalakeng naglalakad papasok ng sala at nakatungo sa cellphone nito. "Nicolei, come meet Kat."

This guy is a slightly smaller than Nicolo in build. But he has that air of superiority. Parang pagnakita mo siya, alam mong mag-aaway lang kayo. It doesn't help that his eyes are slightly squinted. Not my Nicolei.

"What's up?" bati niya sa'kin nang may isang tango. That's it. Nothing more. Binagsak naman nito ang sarili sa isang upuan at nakatuon pa din ang atensyon niya.

"Leave him be," pagsinghap na lang ni Nicolo sa tabi ko. What, aren't they close? Napakunot na lang noo ko.

"Come on, kids, we're leaving. Dad will meet us there," sabi ni Tita at hinugot ang isang maliit na clutch bag. Sumunod naman kami sa kaniya palabas papasok ng isang SUV.

It's a forty-minute ride to the venue. Hindi nga ako mapakali. I don't know if anyone notices. Parang wala lang kasi sa kanila. Nagagawa pa nga nilang magkwentuhan. Why aren't they nervous? Palibhasa they were given enough time to prepare for these kinds of things.

"Get ready," sabi ni Tita nang biglaan na lang kaming pumasok sa isang malaking gate. Oh, God, I feel like masusuka ako.

"Hey, you're gonna be fine," bulong agad sa'kin ni Nicolo. Tinapik niya ang mga nanlalamig kong mga daliri sa tuhod ko.

Alright, here's the thing, I've been to crowded places. Hell, I've been to fan M&Gs and I've been okay. Pero iba kasi 'to. Back then I wasn't carrying the name "Monreal". Back then, I wasn't representing the most probably president of the Philippines in the next few months. Back then—

"Now, you just have to breathe," he says calmly. "You'll be fine. You just have to smile and stay latched on my side and we'll be out of the cameras. Okay?"

Tumango na lang ako sa kaniya. The car comes to a stop and there are already cameras pointing outside. I can hear the snaps like coins dropping on the floor. One-by-one they step outside. Nandoon na pala si Senator Nicholas sa labas ng kotse at iniintay na lang kaming lumabas.

Nicolo's hand is in front of my face. I take it and let him help me outside. Inaayos niya lang ang damit niya at pinagpapagan ko din ang skirt ko bago kumulabit sa braso niya. Then suddenly, all the cameras are on us.

"Smile," he whispers a little.

My cheeks pull at the ends while we walk towards the short red carpet. There is a backdrop with the logo of the charity event and there are small marks on the floor in where people can stop to get their pictures taken. Para na kong nabulag sa ilang malalaking ilaw na nakasentro sa posisyon na iyon. Ang init pati parang natutunaw ang makeup ko.

Nobody is calling to us. Well, they don't know us. Not yet. After tonight, Senator Monreal's family's name will be everywhere. This is somehow the one night left of being normal. The short walk is not so bad once we get into the entrance.

You can hear the music even from the outside and a full-blown formal party is happening inside. There are tall tables and a few normal ones closer to the stage where there is a little orchestra playing. Waiters in their uniforms walk with silver platters balanced on their hands with drinks or little plates with even more little food on it. Long dresses, in every hue possible, jewels, diamonds and pearls covered the women and almost identical tuxedos on the men (suits actually look the same for me).

"What will the articles say about us?" tanong ko kay Nicolo nang makaupo na kami sa may pinakaunahan.

"There are already paid people to write something good about us."

"No, I meant what they will say about us."

"Ah," he chuckles and leans back on the bronze colored metal chair with a huge white bow tied on the back of it. "At first, they will say we're just good friends or... something like we're schoolmates. Queenslane will be mentioned but of course. We haven't said anything about our relationship anyway so they can't say anything about it either."

Tumango ako sa kaniya. Then another one of my fears springs out of my mouth. "What if they recognize me?"

"Good, then," sagot niya. Tinaasan ko lang siya ng mga kilay ko. "What?"

Napakunot ang noo ko. Is he seriously asking me that?

He leans over so he can talk in a hushed whisper. "Listen to me, okay? You're amazing, Kater. If you weren't then you wouldn't be my girlfriend. You've already achieved a lot of things in the age of eighteen. You've achieved bigger things that I did, honestly. You already published a book. You're going to be part of the production of a movie—you're chasing your dreams. You work hard. And that's only the tip. You're in one of the most prestigious and top universities of the Philippines. It's not easy getting inside Queenslane. You're there, Kater. Please, please—can you please stop this ridiculousness of your feelings and start looking at yourself the way most people see you?"

Napatungo lang ako. I see myself that way. It's just hard to accept when it's other people who see the best in you. I mean, not everyone has eyes like that. If you think the journey to being number one is hard, staying on the top is harder. That's why you do everything to stay on that spot.

"I need to go to the bathroom," sabi ko sa kaniya. I have to self-talk myself. It's a great way to gain confidence. Naupo ako sa takip ng bowl at nilabas ang compact powder mula sa bag kong parang nilubog sa puting glitters.

"What the hell?" tanong ko sa sarili ko. Pabulong lang naman at baka mapagkamalan pa kong baliw. "What are you doing? Why are you bitching on yourself? You're working for goodness' sake! Keep your head out of your butt and start doing what you are being paid for. Leave Kater and take out Kat. Christ. It doesn't have to be so hard."

Napapikit ako at sinarado na ang salamin. "It doesn't have to be so hard."

Lumabas na din ako at baka kung ano pang gawin ko sa sarili ko kapag nag-stay pa ko do'n. Pagbalik ko nandoon na si Senator Monreal sa may lamesa namin pero hindi siya nakaupo. Sa tabi naman niya nandoon si Nicolo.

"Ah! There you are!" maligaya niyang salubong sa'kin. Iniisip ko palang kung makikipagkamay ako nang bumeso siya sa'kin. Nagulat tuloy ako.

"Hello po, Senator."

"Tito would be more acceptable when you're my son's girlfriend," bulong niya sa'kin.

"Opo, Tito," pagngiti ko sa kaniya. Iba kasi talaga 'yung dating ni Senator Monreal. He has a very open face. He even has laugh lines on his cheeks and on the corners of his eyes. No wonder people voted for him. He looks like your next door neighbor that is willing for you to borrow anything from their house.

"I'll borrow Nic for a while," sabi niya sa'kin at tumango lang si Nicolo sa'kin.

"Come, Kat," sabi ni Tita at tumayo mula sa kinauupuan niya. "I'll introduce you to some of my friends."

Bigla na naman akong kinabahan. But the introduction part is short. Parang sinabi lang kung sino ako at kung sino sila. Their eyes are mostly on Tita, para pang pina-process nila ang lahat nang lumalabas sa bibig niya. Mga asawa din ng mga politician ang karamihan ng mga babae doon. They have small talk about club or a certain person then another group will call for Tita and we will move to the next circle.

Someone hands me a drink after a while. Nakakasakit na nga ng paa ang pag-ikot na ito. One time, I am looking for Nicolo among the crowd. I'm sure kasi na pinapakilala din siya ni Tito sa mga kapartido niya. So, I was looking for him, tuning out of the conversation about a tapestry from tralaland, then I saw him from across the room. Maybe he feels that someone is watching him because at that exact moment, his eyes meet mine. My heart starts beating faster because I got caught.

He smiles then he winks.

I'm sure I had a small cardiac arrest. I scrunch my nose at him in response. Natunaw yata tuhod ko, wait lang.

Bumalik na din naman kami sa aming upuan bago pa man magsalita ang emcee sa harapan. He welcomes us all and introduces Senator Monreal to the crowd, describing him as the person who will move us to the better Philippines. We all clapped. People are here for him.

He has great voice and a great speech. He doesn't even look at the paper too much. Parang lahat ng sinasabi niya mula sa puso niya. He doesn't talk about his past achievements that propelled him to fame on the people. Instead, he talks about how much he envisions a country capable of standing on its own with the help and cooperation of each and every citizen. The speech isn't too long, and at the end he announces that he will file his candidacy tomorrow morning.

The crowd cheers and shakes hand with him as he goes down the stage. Nicolo pushes me to the side, into the kitchen through a back door where a car is already waiting for us.

"Wait! What about your mom?" tanong ko dahil pinapasakay na niya ko.

"They have their own car. Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"I'm going to drive you home."

Sumakay na ko sa kotse. Wait, he's going to drive me home. Ngayon lang nangyari 'to ah. He's always with a driver. He is quiet while driving.

"You okay?" tanong ko sa kaniya.

"Just tired. Do you know how much time it took for us to go over all those people? Almost two hours! Can you believe that?"

"Two hours? Talaga? You mean, 'yung pag-ikot na 'yun?"

"Yes," he chuckles. "Hindi mo akalain, di ba? Akala mo ang bilis lang pero ang dami mo na palang nakikilalang tao. Don't your legs hurt?"

Hinawakan ko naman ang hita ko. Hindi naman siya masakit. Sakto lang kasi ang oras ng paglakad at pagtayo ko kanina. "I'm good."

"Then you wouldn't mind if we have a little detour?"

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see," he says.

Hindi na ko nagsalita dahil gusto ko na lang din magpahinga. Okay lang ba na biglaan na lang kaming umalis do'n? Tutal, gabi naman na din pala. Sa tickets pala nakukuha ang pang-fundraise kanina.

Then suddenly, the car halts on an empty road. Ito 'yung mga daan na nakikita mo sa horror movies eh. 'Yung tipong walang tao pero may ilaw naman. Sadyang wala lang bahay. It's a long road. Parang kapag hinabol ka ng killer kitang-kita ka niyang nananakbo dahil wala kang pagtataguan.

"Are you sure?" tanong ko kay Nicolo.

"It's okay," he smiles at me then unlatches his seatbelt. "Nobody comes here."

Dahan-dahan ko pang binuksan ang pintuan. We're near a bay, or whatever body of water is this. Nicolo sits on the three and a half feet barrier and swings his legs on the other side. He pats the space next to him. Partida naka-heels pa ko nang umakyat kinaya ko.

"What now?"

He suddenly lies down.

"Hoy, madumi diyan!" paghatak ko sa sleeves niya.

"That's okay," he says and puts his hands behind his head. "It gives me the best view."

Napatingin naman ako sa kung anong tinitignan niya. It's that circular thing on the vast black space with the little twinkling dots. It's shining reflection on the water.

"I found this space about three weeks ago, just when I got back here in Philippines," he laughs. "Naliligaw kasi ako pauwi eh. Then I somehow drove into this road. It's kinda creepy at first that I was absolutely alone but it gets kind of nice after a while."

The moon had always been a pretty sight. I have always liked it. Pero minsan tinataguan ko siya kasi naiisip kong magdrama tuwing nakikita ko ang buwan. A million poems had been made just because of the beauty of the moon.

"You wanna lie down? Just hold on your skirt."

Humiga naman ako sa braso niya. Wow, looking at the moon from this angle changes everything. It looks so big it might swallow the whole world. I don't see the water but I can hear it. In fairness nga at walang basura dito unlike sa ibang bays na nagagawa pang paliguan ng iba kahit sobrang dumi na.

I can feel his breathing, slow and rhythmic.

"I forgot to tell you," he says, breaking the silence.

"Yeah?"

"You look pretty tonight."

Napangiti naman ako. Ni hindi ko na nga napansin na hindi niya pa pala sinasabi 'yun. Sobrang kaba ko na lang siguro kanina.

"This is the last night," he says.

"Last night of what?"

"I'm exaggerating but I'm thinking that this is the last night of my freedom for at least the next six years." I don't answer him. "You know that my father is going to win this election, right? There are no other strong contenders other than him."

"Well, he's hard to top off, that's for sure."

He sighs. "My last night of freedom, indeed."

I was just thinking about the same thing earlier. All eyes will be on him, probably on me too. Everyone will try to find to find holes to put a campaign down. Everybody will be striving for perfection. The long days and the short nights. The endless roads and no time for sleeping. The car rides to nowhere, the cameras everywhere. One mistake and everything will come crashing down.

This is where everything starts.

I sigh too. "Our last night of freedom, indeed."