Soccer Camp

Insecurities

I woke up feeling completely refreshed and happy for some unknown reason. I rolled out of bed and took a shower before getting dressed.

"Do you need me to cover for you today?" Dina asked although she knew the answer.

"No, thank you." I smiled, combing through my hair. She sighed heavily as she grabbed her purse.

"Alright, I'm heading to breakfast. Are you coming?"

"Can't, I have to be on the field in a few minutes." She left without me and I waited for Matt outside the cabin. When I saw him, I ran up to him and jumped into his arms.

"I'm happy to see you too." He laughed, kissing me softly on my lips. "Sorry, habit." He smirked unapologetically.

"Its fine," I smiled up at him as he walked with me to the soccer field. "Last night went well. We decided to be together, but his father wants to meet me." I frowned

"What? That's great! If you charm his father, the whole world will open up for you." He promised.

I groaned at the thought of that, my stomach quivering. Maybe I could put off meeting his father for as long as possible. There was just too much pressure and expectations.

"I gotta go. I'll see you at lunch." He smiled as he hugged me, leaving me to walk to the field by myself.

"Good morning" Jesse smiled as he pulled me into his arms. He kissed me slowly and passionately, the eyes of the kids focused on us. Last night ran through my head and I blushed, my skin heating. God! I was practically on my knees begging him to touch me last night. This camp was changing me in ways I didn't understand. "How did you sleep?" he asked caringly, as if we were the only ones on the field.

"Fine. how about you?" I asked, my body squirming under his gaze.

"I didn't. You were on my mind all night." His face was serious, intense, as he brought his lips to mine once more. I moaned against him, leaning into his kiss and his firm body.

"Are we going to play soccer?" one of the kids asked and they all began to laugh. I turned away from Jesse in embarrassment, bracing away from him. He released me, but continued to stare at me as if no one said anything. After a moment of silence, he sighed and turned back to the kids, distributing the soccer balls.

I helped out when needed, not really paying attention to anything other than him. He demonstrated techniques often, balancing the ball professionally every time. It was as if the ball was an extension of him, it seemed effortless.

When it was over, we packed up as usual and headed to the storage room. He took my hand and intertwined our fingers as we made our way to lunch. As we passed people, they stared and pointed. I thought it was bad when I was with Matt, but it was even worse now.

A few people glared while someone shook their heads in debrief. I held my head down as he led me to the dining hall.

"What would you like to eat?" he asked as he stared at the different options.

"I've already got your lunch." Matt mumbled behind me. I turned and smiled, happy to see his face; my safety net.

"Thanks, I guess I'll see you after lunch then." I said to Jesse, hurrying behind Matt to the table. I felt someone's fingers hold my hand, stopping me from going any further.

"I want you to eat with me" Jesse whispered in my ears, his lips nibbling on it. I moaned silently, my eyes furiously looking around the room as people stared at our encounter.

"I promised Matt," I lied. Being around him was making me crazy. It was like every time he touched me or said something, I became sexually frustrated. He sighed heavily before he placed his lips to mine possessively.

"I will see you after lunch." He mumbled against my lips, letting me go reluctantly. I nodded shyly and then hurried over to Matt, finally being able to exhale.

"He's so intense!" I grumbled as I took my sandwich from my food tray.

"He does seem to truly like you." Matt laughed, kissing my forehead. I took another bite of my lunch and relaxed for the first time since I left the cabin. He made my body tense, as if it needed release... somehow. God! It was complicated.

I peeked over at him at his table which was a few feet down. He was laughing with the kids, completely unperturbed and free.

We finished up lunch and threw away our garbage. As I headed out the doors behind Matt, someone dishevelled our fingers and pulled me to the side. I was up against the building, Jesse's lips claiming mine roughly. I wrapped my arms around his neck, welcoming the feel of his body against mine.

"I missed you too" I smiled shyly as he pulled away, his forehead against mine. He chuckled as he kissed me gently.

"Will you spend the day with me?" he asked lightly, his fingers caressing my cheek.

"I would love to." I enthused

We walked down the path and towards familiar markings.

"How do you like the camp so far?" he asked as we continued to walk, hand in hand.

"It's not what I expected." Far from it actually.

"How so?" He questioned curiosly.

"I made friends and I wasn't really expecting that. I also met you which was completely unexpected." I mumbled quietly.

"I could say the same thing about you." He smiled, rubbing the back of my hand with his thumb.

"There are plenty of girls here." I announced

"Yes, and there are plenty of guys here as well, but yet you chose me" he smiled.

Was he blind? He was completely out of my league, universe at that. The familiarity became clear as the golf course came into view.

"Why are we here?" I asked timidly.

"I stay here for the summer."

"You walk this far everyday to the soccer field." It felt like we were walking for hours and the sun made it even worse as it beats against my exposed skin.

"It's only a ten minute walk, Chica. I run six miles every morning."

"We can't all be in shape" I mumbled in defence. The only exercise I ever did was by force, in gym class, which was in grade 11. Since this camp, I read books as a form of personal fitness. Of the mind. I was the only one looking at my body, and I really didn't care about gaining weight or how I looked.

"You look pretty good to me," he smirked down at me, lifting me into his arms by my waist "perfect at that."

"You know you don't have to try and charm me right?" I asked as I kissed him tenderly, an uncontrollable smile gracing my lips. "I'm already yours."

He sighed in contentment, smiling up at me. "You are?"

"If you want..." I backed out, feeling completely foolish that I was pushing myself on him. "I don't have to be if that's not... I didn't mean 'yours' yours, I meant like... I'm gonna stop talking now" I pouted as I rested my head against his chest.

He chuckled as he kissed my forehead, placing me back on my feet. "C'mon, I'll show you my room." I followed him into the air conditioned building and into the elevator. When we arrived to the third floor, he ran his card through the scanner and pulled me into a room.

The room was five times the size of mine. There were large posters on the wall, mainly soccer related. It was clear he truly spent many years in this room, it seemed very personal. "I'm glad they cleaned my room before we got here." Jesse mumbled as he sat down on his bed, pulling down onto his lap.

"Was it a mess?" I asked as he wrapped an arm around me, grabbing the remote.

"You could say that." He turned on the television and began to search the current programs.

"When's the big soccer game?"

"In a few weeks. Will you be cheering for me?"

"I don't know; I haven't seen you play yet. I'll be cheering for the winning team." I teased, earning a chuckle and a light kiss.

"I would like to have you as my personal cheerleader." He whispered against my neck.

I moaned. "Would you like me to audition?" I giggled as I stood to my feet with a lack of confidence but a lot of energy. His smile was lopsided, lazy, reaching his eyes. He scooted to the very top of the bed, leaning against the headboard, his eyes filled with excitement. I was a nerd, and if he didn't know this before, he was about to find out.

I placed my hands on my hips and smile widely. "Ready, okay!" I clapped. I shot my arms high above my head then to the side with a silly grin on my face. I've always wanted to be a cheerleader, it was a wish I had all throughout high school; but I was never good enough.

I kicked my leg as high as I could in the air, ignoring that I just flashed my underwear."I like that move" he mumbled, his eyes filled with lust.

"Which one?" I breathed, my chest heaving. I was so out of shape!

"The one where I see your underwear." He smiled widely, waving me towards him. My skin burned as I crawled towards him on the bed. "That was an amazing audition" he whispered as he wrapped his strong arms around me "I would love to have you on the sidelines cheering me on. Except, you should probably wear shorts."

His fingers glided down my stomach, to the hem of my dress, raising it slowly above my knees, revealing my black lace underwear. "I would like this to remain only for my eyes." He kissed me softly, consuming my lips eagerly. I moaned into his mouth, sucking his bottom lip. I turned so that I could straddle him on the bed, lifting his shirt over his head. He sat up as he held my wrists, pressing his lips firmly against mine.

I grinded my hips, holding him closer, my body burning with need.

"Amber" he breathed as his forehead rested against mine.

"Yes?" I moaned, taking his bottom lips between my teeth.

"You are a very good tease" he joked. His finger placed a lose strand of hair behind my ears. I looked away from embarrassment.

"So you live in Spain, how is that?" I needed the change the topic and quickly. There was silence before he finally spoke. He grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head, pushing through his arms.

"I like the USA better. Here, I'm not followed everywhere I go, less people know me, and it's a nice change from my normal routines." I was still straddling him, his fingers gripping my waist.

"Your mom doesn't miss you?" I asked out of curiosity

"Yes, but I'm there all year round. How about your parents? Who do you live with?" He looked down at me, something I couldn't identify in his eyes. He looked genuinely interested in my answer. He waited patiently while I tried to find my words.

"I live with my mom but I rarely see my father since he remarried almost a year ago." I muttered.

"If it wasn't for this camp I wouldn't see my father either. Sometimes I feel as if he's just using me to attract kids here... Maybe that's why I have to be here every summer." He looked out the window as if to stare into space.

I placed my hand on his cheek and rubbed my thumb across it, trying my best to comfort him. "Maybe he just wants to spend time with you."

He took my hand from his cheek and kissed it, before finally smiling again. "Even if that was not true, I wouldn't change anything. I've met you."

I bit my bottom lip nervously as I stared down at my hands. "You say that as if I was the only one."

"What do you mean?" he asked as he raised my chin with his finger.

"Nicole" I muttered.

His eyes darkened as he ran his fingers through his hair."That's different."

"How?"

"She dated me for what I had. She wanted the fame more that she cared about me. It's hard to trust people without thinking about their possible ulterior motives."

I kept quiet, not knowing how to respond.

"But you had no idea who I was" he whispered as he kissed the crook of my neck.

"Is that why you like me?" I slowly stood to my feet and fixed my dress. The thought of him only liking me because I wasn't running after him turned my stomach. I thought he liked me, not wanting me because I was the only one that didn't want him due to his fame. Maybe my lack of self confidence in my abilities to keep this man was finally catching up on me.

He stood from the bed and strolled over to me, pulling me into his arms; but I pulled away and headed for the door. I needed time to think whether I was okay with this or not. Whether I could believe this could be possible or even work. Before this all seemed like a game of some sort, but now it was becoming real. Too fast! Would it be foolish to even think about the future at my age?

"Where are you going?" he asked as he followed me out the door.

"To my cabin," I mumbled as I called the elevator. It arrived almost immediately, and I was surprised when Jesse entered behind me.

"I know my way back, you don't have to follow me."

He stared down me as we rode to the main floor. He leaned against the elevator wall as he held my waist, pulling me against his body. "You're upset, tell me why."

I held my head down as we rode in silence, my body against his.

"I want to kiss you but I'm afraid you might not want me to."He muttered as we finally hit the bottom floor. Before I could exit the elevator, he intertwined our fingers, and led the way out the main doors.

"Talk to me... please." He muttered as we followed the path back to the cabins.

"I have nothing to say."

"Amber, what's wrong?" his voice was firm and worrisome.

"Nothing" I muttered quietly.

He sighed heavily but did not continue to press the issue. When we reached my cabin, he turned to me.

"I'm sorry"

"For what?" I asked.

"I have no idea, you won't tell me." He bent and pecked my lips softly before he pulled away slightly to gaze into my eyes. "I want to be with you."

I sighed as I pulled away. "Why?"

He looked at me in confusion but he didn't reply. I turned and headed into the cabin without a word. "Amber..."

I didn't stop, but hurried. I didn't want to continue this conversation. He wanted me because the girls he wanted only cared about what he had. I was a consolation prize to him. I'd rather be alone, than be the final option.

I quickly entered the room and closed the door behind me, locking it.