Love on Borrowed Time

Chapter 4: A man my ass!

KAYLEE

A deafening silence fell around the dinner car, only broken by the rhythmic chug of the train wheels still making their way along the rail, unaware of the tension it carried inside.

Caleb’s eyes had gone as wide as the dinner plates we’d just used for our meals. He seemed completely caught off guard, and a sinking feeling started to grow in my gut. I’d expected surprised. Maybe a little fluster.

Caleb wasn’t surprised. He looked horrified. That couldn’t be good.

Then he blinked, breaking eye contact. He cleared his throat, his eyes darting around at the very attentive audience we had attracted. s**t. Maybe I should have waited until we were back in our cabin, away from all the extra ears and eyes, but a part of me hadn’t really thought Caleb would act as though I had just handed him a death sentence.

I thought he would be shocked but a smile would soon stretch his full lips and he would be on his feet kissing me and declaring something sappy and sweetly embarrassing.

My fingers tightened around the small red velvety box containing the ring. Right then my skin prickled and I could feel sweat beginning to form all over my body like a hot flash. Finally, I too let my eyes sweep the dining car. I was standing, so I knew I had everyone’s attention. Another mistake on my part.

I didn’t linger on any of the faces, but the expressions were all the same. They varied from shock, pity, secondhand embarrassment, and of course, there were those who looked as though they were about to ask for a bowl of popcorn drizzled with butter and salt to better enjoy the show. I cringed, but like a glutton for pain, I turned my head to see the rest of the diners behind me.

That’s when I spotted him. The leather-clung sexy man I had run into earlier when we boarded the train. He had been the one seated at the table directly behind me. Alone. For some reason, knowing he had witnessed this made the whole thing more unpleasant.

With the lump in my throat expanding until I thought I wouldn’t be able to draw a single breath into my lungs, I whipped my gaze back toward Caleb. He was still seated in his seat, not meeting my gaze. I could see his hands curl into fists on his thighs, barely hidden by the table. He released them and flexed his fingers only to do it again.

I couldn’t stand there and wait for him to find his voice. Especially when I was certain I wouldn’t like what came out of his mouth. My flight or fight instinct kicked in. I had just enough sense to kick my heels off before I ran down the aisle between the tables and made the quickest exit I could, leaving the shoes behind. They didn’t matter. None of it mattered. I just wanted to get away. Except I couldn’t get very far since we were on a moving train in the middle of nowhere and still had four days on the damn thing before we reached our destination.

So I made my way to our cabin and had nearly slid the door shut when Caleb pushed his way in, looking like a wounded bull. I hadn’t even heard him chase after me with all the blood pumping in my ears.

“What the hell was that?” he demanded as he started pacing in the very limited space between the door and the bed. “For f**k’s sake, what were you thinking?”

My mind was in such a state it took me a second to locate the ‘enraged’ button in my system, but once I did, my vision went red and the buzz in my ears intensified. “What was I thinking? Really, Caleb, you have to ask? Hell, I thought we loved each other and we should make it official. Be a real family!”

By the last word, my voice had risen, and I was sure the whole train could hear me. But did I give a damn? Nope. “I asked you to marry me, Caleb. I didn’t ask for your freaking kidney!”

Caleb glared, his nostrils flaring. His hands fisted at his sides. I could see the tremor in them, and it made me wonder if Caleb was a physical person when he got pissed. I didn’t think I had ever seen him that wound up in the two years we had been together, so I couldn’t know. That was worrying.

“Well, at this point, I would have preferred you asked for a kidney.”

His words took me aback. Literally. I took a step back, eyes narrowed. My voice shook. “What is that supposed to mean? You don’t want to marry me?”

“That was never in my books.” He didn’t miss a beat or look away. “It was just supposed to last a few months. We both have some fun, then go our separate ways. Life goes on.”

He couldn’t be serious. “We have a son together,” I reminded him in a choked voice. Suddenly, the delicious meal we’d shared just mere moments before felt like acid in my gut. A tightness invaded my chest, making drawing a full breath difficult.

Still, Caleb didn’t falter at my words, and if he noticed how green I was getting, he didn’t show it as he set his stubborn jaw. “Zeke is the only reason we still have a relationship. You know as well as I do that the fire died between us months ago.”

I did? I had no idea. And right then, I was in no state to make any sort of self-analysis. No. All I wanted to do right then was throw Caleb under the train and watch him get torn apart the same way he was ripping me to pieces.

As though he was the one having the worst evening of his life, and completely oblivious to my murderous intent, Caleb threw his arms in the air, still pacing back and forth like a caged beast. “I can’t believe you did this to me. Is that why you paid all that money for this ridiculous trip? To propose marriage? Are you serious?” He stopped walking abruptly for a beat and just stared at me as though I was the one with a problem. According to him, I was.

“Do you realize how you have embarrassed me? Hell! You embarrassed yourself! You proposed to me as though I am your b***h! I’m a man!”

“A man my ass!” I finally snapped. My entire body trembled violently. I looked Caleb up and down and snarled. The idea of throwing Caleb under the train seemed more attractive by the second. “A real man wouldn’t be afraid of commitment.”

He snorted. “Maybe I just don’t want to be committed to you! Have you thought of that?”

That hurt. f**k, those words damn near felt like a red-hot knife slicing through my chest. “Fine! I’m not going to beg you to be with me.” That was one line I wasn’t going to cross. “I can’t believe I wasted my time with you.”

Caleb’s lip curled in disgust. “I gave you everything you wanted.”

Except for commitment, I thought. I could feel the tears burn at the back of my eyes and I knew any second now I was going to be a mess. Pride made me hold it back. I wasn’t going to cry in front of Caleb. Thank God I had paid for this trip and this deluxe cabin with my money.

“Get out.”

Caleb blinked. “What?”

For some reason, his dumbfounded look and question made me laugh. The sound was detached and choked, but who cared? I was laughing. It was better than crying. “God, you are so full of yourself. What? You thought I would just let you stay here after you just told me you don’t want me?”

Confusion continued to crease his forehead. “Kaylee, we are on a train,” Caleb said slowly, as though he thought I had trouble with my hearing.

I nodded and spoke just as slowly, so he didn’t miss a word I said. “Yes. A beautiful train at that. And we are going to be on it for four more days because I paid for it.” I looked Caleb up and down and curled my lip, my hold on my emotions slipping. “You should find a corner to sleep in because you are not going to be sleeping in here with me. You are a man, after all. I’m sure you can figure it out.”