Love on Borrowed Time

KAYLEE I cracked my neck, twisting it side to side before I rolled my shoulders, trying to loosen up the tension building in my body. Anyone would have thought I was gearing up for a fight, or at the very least, a doctor's appointment or something just as unpleasant. But no, I felt this way because I was packing for a romantic getaway with my boyfriend. “This is a terrible idea.” Of course, it didn't help that my closest friend, Rizalina, or as she preferred to be called, Lina, was being the voice of negativity and doom. “Could you be a little less optimistic?” I asked sarcastically as I picked up my favorite pair of jeans and began to fold them. “Seriously, your positive attitude is giving me a happy buzz overload.” Lina scoffed and flopped back onto my bed, facing the ceiling. Unfortunately for her, her new position was like a clear invitation for my nine-month-old son, Zeke. Before I could open my mouth and warn Lina of her mistake, Zeke threw himself forward, his quick, little chubby fingers fisting in her hair and tugging. Hard. “Ha! Zeke, no!” Lina cried out and immediately wrapped her hands around the boy’s to prevent further tugging. Of course, this was all very amusing for Zeke and his infectious laughter filled the room making me chuckle even as I dropped the jeans and moved to help. “Your son is a menace,” Lina declared, rubbing soothing circles on her scalp once she was free 5 minutes later. I had to hand it to my son though, when he grabbed onto something, he didn't let go without a fight. Too bad his father didn't seem to share in that personality trait. Which was why he was about to lose me. But I wasn't going to let that happen. Hence the trip I had planned. Another wave of doubt hit me but I kissed Zeke’s cheek, settled him back down on the bed with my phone to keep him busy, and then went back to packing my bag. The trip was a New Year train ride that would last for four days. That was four days of being trapped in a moving luxury train. It would be my first time on a train and I hoped like hell I didn’t get sick. Motion sickness or anything like that. That would just be terrible. I needed everything to be perfect. Proposals had to be perfect. “Are you even listening to me?” Lina’s exasperated voice cut through my thoughts. I blinked. “Of course.” Lina rolled her eyes. She made herself busy by scooting back on the bed, crossing her legs yoga style, and then rearranging Zeke so he was seated in the valley between her legs. My son clearly thought she was up to something fishy because he glared over his shoulder at her, lips pinched. His hold on my phone tightened as though he thought she would take it away from him. Lina burst out laughing. “I swear this boy gets smarter by the day.” “He has my genes, what else do you expect?” I responded with a smirk. “Any other day, I would agree with you.” My brow arched. “Are you saying I’m not being smart?” Lina ran her fingers through Zeke’s soft hair who had gone back to playing with my phone. “No. I don’t think you are being smart, Kaylee. There is a reason why a man does the proposing.” “Who made the rules?” “Normal, sensible, old people.” I snorted. “Exactly. Old people. We are in a new era. There is absolutely nothing wrong with me proposing to Caleb.” The frown lines between Lina’s brows deepened. “Maybe you should just give him a little time.” I wasn’t going to have this discussion again. I shook my head and raised my hand, palm out. “Don’t start.” Caleb and I had been together for a little over two years and we had a son together. We never got to the point of living together but that hasn’t stopped him from spending nights here and vice versa. Zeke was still too young to understand why his daddy was never around all the time, but that wouldn’t last. I also didn’t want to risk the possibility of having another child in our current situation. I was taking precautions, but Zeke had been conceived while I was on the pill. So the fear of having another child while Caleb was still playing bachelor with a baby mama he could get all the benefits from was ever-present. We needed to get married and I was tired of waiting for Caleb to get up the nerve. It was time to take the bull by the horns. “I’m just saying,” Lina pressed. “What if he says no?” I paused in my inspection of the lingerie I was about to throw into my bag. Frowning, I looked at Lina. “Why would he? He says he loves me.” I pointed at Zeke. “He adores his son. Why wouldn’t he want to make it permanent and be a family?” Lina shrugged. “Who knows? It’s always a possibility. Not all relationships, no matter how well they flow, are meant to end in marriage.” “Is that why you haven’t introduced me to your new man? He is not the marrying kind?” I asked. Oh yeah, Lina didn’t like it when I asked about her new boo. The tension in her body was immediate and she broke eye contact. Something was definitely going on with Rizalina and it made me frown. I had known Rizalina for over four years. We’d met the night I decided to give clubbing a try. Needless to say, I still cringed at the memory of that night No one had told me it was a bad idea to go clubbing alone in the shortest dress I could muster. Especially if I planned to dance. What had started out as a slightly awkward experience had quickly morphed into two men trying to make a sandwich out of me. Things had quickly escalated and before I knew it, one of the men had his hand up my dress and right over my panties. I panicked and tried to get away, but the men wouldn’t listen. Thankfully, before I was reduced to tears and begging, or worse, my guardian angel in the form of a woman barely five-feet-four and weighing nothing more than fifty kilos, stepped in front of us and splashed her drink in the face of one of the men and then threw the empty glass at the other. Who could say no to friendship after that? I loved Lina and I knew she always had my back just like I had hers. We never judged. Which was why I was worried about this new man she wouldn’t tell me about. “What’s going on, Lina?” “Nothing,” she answered quickly. My eyes narrowed but I knew it was pointless. Whoever this new guy was, he had Lina guarding his identity like a state secret. Her lips were more secure than the volt in a bank. “Fine,” I said before the tension got too high. “Just know that I’m here for you in case of anything.” A beat passed before she nodded but that was okay. Sooner or later I knew she would tell me. Nothing stayed hidden under the sun forever. That was something my grandmother loved to say. Damn. Just thinking about it was enough to suck the air out of my lungs. I dropped my hands on either side of the small suitcase I was packing and just took a deep breath. Six months and the loss of the only parent I’d had for the last fourteen years still hurt like it had just happened. “Are you okay?” Lina’s hands were suddenly on my shoulders. When had she moved? I looked on the bed and saw that Zeke was once again seated on his own but he wasn’t playing, his cute, focused gaze was on her as though he too knew something was wrong. I forced a smile and patted Lina’s hand on my shoulder. “It’s okay. I just remembered Grandma.” Sighing, Lina changed her hold into a hug and squeezed me tight. “I’m sorry she’s gone. “Yeah. Me too,” I managed around the lump that had formed in my throat. A beat passed, and then Lina said the one thing that was guaranteed to make me tense and wish I could hit her. “You know that Grandma Ophelia would never have agreed with your plan.” I pulled out of Lina’s hold and glared at her. “Really?” Lina immediately raised her hands in a placating manner even though her words were nothing but blunt. “You know it’s the truth. Come on, Kaylee.” Her voice took on an exasperated tone. “I know you love Caleb and that’s why you want to propose to him. But you have gone a little overboard here.” “Would you say the same thing if it was Caleb who had done this?” Lina shook her head. “Don’t hook your nails in that argument. Deep down I know you know that I am right. You bought your own damn engagement ring and paid for a luxurious trip you wouldn’t have been able to afford if you hadn’t sold your grandmother’s old jewelry. Your grandma left you that jewelry like an heirloom. I don’t think she thought you would use it to spoil your baby daddy with an extravagant New Year holiday trip and beg him to marry you.” Every word went straight to my heart, ranking up the emotions to boiling point, and by the time Lina was done, I was almost surprised I hadn’t exploded. My jaw was clenched so tight it hurt. My friend looked at me for a moment, obviously taking in how wound up I was after her speech. She released a long breath and shook her head. “I’m not trying to piss you off.” “You could have fooled me,” I gritted out. “Well, I’m not. I just want you to see reason. This is a very bad idea.” “I already paid for the trip and I’m going through with this.” “Damn, you can be so stubborn sometimes,” Lina muttered with another head shake. I looked away because a part of me knew she was right but I was still determined to do this. My eyes landed on my son and his cute face. He had taken so much of me and very little of his father. Sometimes, I wondered if it was a sign. “I’m doing this for us,” I whispered to Zeke even though he couldn’t understand me. He just smiled at the sound of my voice and that warmed my heart and took away some of the doubt and anger. “Zeke only needs you.” “But he deserves so much more. We both do.”