Kiss Of Revenge

Nightmares

Amy pov 

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“Can I have your full name please ?” The doctor asks

“Its Amy Joseph " I answer

"Age ?”

“I'll be turning eighteen in two months " I add

"Well advance birthday wishes dear

So correct me, if I'm wrong "

"You have mentioned that you feel some kind of burden on you

And that you face nightmares constantly "

I give the doctor another nodded as she reads out the words written by me

I'm at a therapist session because my boyfriend Roy wanted me to go get myself checked

He thought this will help, like I'm kind of facing these nightmares from young age

I used to wake up, thinking I'm dead every night

like those visuals are so very strong that sometimes it's hard for me to realize that it's a dream not reality

But as I grew up i kind of got used to it

My mother always called me a gods' child that I was very close to death, when I was born

So she blamed that as the reason behind my nightmares when I told her about it,

She thinks it's all gone

But the truth is, I have just stopped talking about it,

I have reached to a stage where I have accepted those nightmares, and I'm living in those

I see myself every night walking down the aisle wearing a bridal gown, but I also see myself being crashed by a car which happens in a blink

I feel the wetness around my body caused by own pool of blood

When I wake up, my heart will be still panting

My throat dry as I try to lick my lips, it feels so real that I'll be shaking for life

Even though I say I'm used to it, still those hold me up in life

I have known my boyfriend Roy since fifteen

In couple of days I'll be eighteen

But not even one day I have slept with him like whole night

He leaves when we are done having s*x, or I'll leave myself if I'm over his house

I just tell him I get nightmares, so he thinks therapy might work

You know, but I feel like I'm living a dream as my life is something else

It's the little things like, sometimes I know to do things even before somebody has taught me how to do it

I was so scared to learn driving but when I was in the driving seat, I just drove it like I have been doing it from years

I hear myself telling I love you for a guy, who I assume to be the groom in dream

But till date I haven't told it once to Roy

Like not even once, I feel like I do love him, but he's not the one

Whenever I think about this ideal guy who I want to spend time with, first thing I get to my mind is two kids who are taking vows of them sharing their candy together, and he's taking care of Lily

But who the hell is lily ?

Sometimes, now every time I feel like I'm living someone else's life

Or like I'm living a wrong life

Except my brain, I'm perfect when it comes physically

I'm a healthy girl but still I don't know why I face this kind of mental issues

Like I want to tell myself something

But I'm not getting or finding a way how to say it

“Ms. Joseph ?”.

.

.

.

I flinch as I hear a tap on my shoulder and I look up

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you

But I called your name a couple of times

looks like you were in a deep thought ?” The doctor arches a brow as she pulls out her notepad

“Its nothing " I shrug

"So let's start our session today

Tell me, what do you see in those nightmares "

Nodding at the doctor, I take a sip of water from the glass next to my chair as I sit front

“I see myself walking down an aisle

Like I know that girl is me

Because I see all those random faces around me

And I just feel like I'm getting ready

I'm in love with somebody, but I get killed at the end of the dream "

My voice goes low, as those images form in front of my mind

I see an old lady crying next to my body along with a dead body

“How often do you get the dream

And when did it get started?” .

.

“From long as I started talking

And I get those every day

like my mind is trying to tell me something

I hear few voices calling me favorite wife

Goodbye

And also words like I love you

like the dreams are constant

But the intensity varies "

I shrug

Maybe I sound pathetic ,like a psych

Lunatic, maybe ?

“I am sorry

I know this sounds absurd but …” I sigh unable to find a right word

“No, don't be sorry

But our dreams are mostly connected to our lives

like what we see, we imagine

We dream

It's our subconscious which reminds us about few things

did you had any rough experience growing up ?” The doctor asks

"No

Nothing such experiences " I say

"Okay

I'm going to write you down few tablets

Let's talk further in our next session" she adds as her eyes find the clock on the wall

Thanking her ,I take the slip as I walk out

paying the bill I wait for my report

“Briana?” The receptionist calls out

And I look around

To see who is she calling

There is nobody else

“Are you referring to me ?” I arch a brow taking a step further

She got my name wrong ?

“Yes

Briana right?” The receptionist asks again

“No you have got the wrong name

Its Amy Joseph"

I sigh

“Oh

My apologies

Someone named Briana as signed in your space

You know what?

I'll get a new report

give me a minute please "

The receptionist tears the paper down ,as she tosses it off to the dust bin before heading inside

How can someone sign wrongly ?

Curiously, I go pick up the piece of paper the receptionist just tossed

I stare at the details

It contains all the details ,the information about me

But in the name column its written

"Briana Hemsworth "

But I remember filling this details myself

It's my handwriting

But how could someone write a different name ?

Like it's not been overwritten or …..

"Here.."

I quickly toss the paper inside my bag as I see the receptionist walking back

taking my report and signing at the register I head out

My phone beeps, and of course it's Roy

"Done with the meeting ?"

"Yup "

"I just got out "

I send the message as I walk towards the bus station

"Well done baby

I love you "- Roy

I stare at my screen, as I read his words and reread them again

I should probably tell him back those words

But I don't know why I find is so hard

"Me2

See you soon "

I shut my eyes as I send the text

Groaning at myself not again