North Star

Chapter 5: Arrival

I pulled out my phone and took a quick photo of the notice, not really planning on entering the competition, but feeling like I should get a picture just in case. I reasoned with myself that as a first year student, I didn’t stand a chance against the many second and third year students who’d likely apply. And although I’m top of my class academically, I remember a lecturer mentioning that the journal accepts just a fraction of the thousands of articles submitted per year, and I knew I’d be up against students from all the world’s top univ“PANCAKES!” I shriek, still half asleep. If it weren’t for the seatbelt holding me down, I probably would have jumped right out of my plane seat into the aisle.

In fact, from the shocked expression on the air hostess's pretty face, I suspect that I came very close to knocking the breakfast tray right out her hands, and all over the sheepish looking man seated across the aisle from me.

She places the tray down in front of him, heaving in a deep sigh of relief.

"Thanks," the man says to the air hostess, giving me a suspicious look before tucking into his bacon and eggs.

"And what will you be having?" she asks me, a hesitant smile crossing her face. "Pancakes, I presume?"

I can feel my face heat up in a furious blush, and I have to fight the urge to explain myself to her. There's no point telling her that I was asleep and having crazy dreams. I'm sure she could already see that.

"That's right," I say a bit sheepishly. "The pancakes, please."

"Of course dear,” the air hostess says, reaching into the cart and pulling out a silver tray. She hesitates before placing it down. I'm still groggy from sleep, and it takes me a moment to realise that she's waiting for me to put down my tray table. Embarrassed, I flip down the table. 

"And to drink?" She asks. "We have tea, coffee, fruit juice, water, champagne mimosa, bloody mary ..."

"Coffee, please," I say. "With milk and sugar."

"Enjoy," she says, placing my meal and the hot beverage in front of me. 

I'm famished, and so I waste no time before tucking into breakfast.

The food looks just as good as it smells - the pancakes are light and fluffy, dripping with dark golden maple syrup, a dollop of mascarpone and fat red berries. It's a far cry from the airplane food I'm used to, whenever I fly domestic economy from Cape Town to Durban to visit my dad’s parents.

The University must have a lot of money if they can afford to seat visiting students in Business Class like this, I think to myself. I wonder if every foreign student gets this sort of treatment, or is it maybe part of my essay competition prize?

The flight so far has been very luxurious, and thanks to my comfy reclining seat I've managed to sleep through most of it. We're probably only a few hours away from landing now. I look up at the screen on the seat in front of me, which I set to show the map just before I fell asleep, and my suspicions are confirmed.

Less than two hours until arrival at Luxembourg airport. We're flying over France right now. I wish I'd thought to ask for an aisle seat so I could look out of the window and see the scenery. If we fly over Paris, maybe I could see the Eiffel tower, although we’re probably too far up. I shouldn't complain though - this whole trip is free, after all.

Still, it would be nice to be able to see France from above.

Note to self - ask Lina if they can book me a window seat on the way back.

Lina, the international students coordinator at the University of Luxembourg, has been absolutely amazing every step of the way so far. She was the one who organised just about everything for this trip - placing me into a student residence on campus, booking transport to and from the university, opening up a European bank account for me, into which my weekly living allowance from the Philosophy department will be paid. She dealt with all the tricky stuff, so that the most my parents had to do was make sure I had enough warm clothes to take along (although even that wasn’t entirely necessary - the Northern Hemisphere is heading into Spring and Summer, and Lina says the weather should be fine and warm for much of my stay.)

However, the lack of organisational pressures didn’t do much to alleviate my parents’ nervousness about my departure. I could tell that they were both on edge all week, although they were trying hard to hide it. And when I said goodbye to them at the airport yesterday, my mom actually had a mini-emotional public breakdown right there in the departures lounge, as if all the pent up tension flooded out of her all at once, like a dam wall finally bursting after holding so long. She was shaking with sobs in front of the departure gate as we said our goodbyes, trying to hold back the tears while my dad fought back his own.

I hugged them both for a long time, and I promised to email them every single day, and to video chat as often as possible, but I knew there was nothing I could really say so reassure them. This whole experience is as frightening for them as it is for me, even if deep down we all know that this is something I really need to do in order to grow up and really find myself.

After all, how am I meant to walk on my own two feet if they are carrying me every step of the way?

It’s time for me to embark on my very on voyage of self-discovery, to finally become my own person. Even if that person is a stranger. Even if that person is far from who I ever thought I’d be.

I’m ready.