Old Clothes and Stale Coffee

Chapter 44

Chapter 44 - for the ocean yearns for the pull of the moon

I stayed in one of our family’s properties in the United States.

One of my brohers was there to greet me, but my mother never came. I lived there together with several servants and bodyguards. There I found out more about the world, but I was still naïve and over protected, so as soon as I turned 18, I decided to leave our estate and moved into the dorms.

Everybody there wanted me. They wanted to pair with me. They wanted to own me.  They wanted to be me.

I went to bars, to parties in pubs and fancy restaurants, had s*x with all genders and nationalities, but I never felt anything for my partners. They were simply there to satisfy me when I felt like having s*x.

I sent Nauret lots of pictures regularly. I would go to different places in the US and send them to her through the internet. She never answered back, though, but I know that she had `seen’ them all.

I graduated, got my doctorate, and bought my own flat in New York were I lived alone. I worked as a psychiatrist for a year, specializing on problematic omegas with irregular heat patterns. It was then that I was called back home when my mother got terminally ill and died.

“You never visited, not once.” my brothers told me when I arrived.

“Neihter did she, when I was at the Omega Palace,” I told them, “I knew she didn’t want to see me.”

They didn’t answer. They knew it was true.

“So, how are you now? Mr. Big Shot Psychiatrist?” asked my older brother. “Looking at you, no one would guess you’re an omega!”

“I’m not.” I answered.

My brother sneered at me.

“Yes, you keep telling yourself that, perhaps a miracle would happen and would actually make your wish come true.”

I simply ignored him.

I left our household right after the funeral and decided to visit Nauret in the Omega Palace, but I was shocked when I got there and heard the news.

“Nauret is no longer here.” they told me. “He took his life last year, during the Wafaa El-Nil, the flooding of the Nile. He drank some poison and was found dead the next day.”

“But... how come no one told me about it?” I asked.

“He told us not to tell you.”

They handed me a note then, written in her hand, sealed with the symbol of the goddess of the ocean.

To my dear Aahmes,

When you read this, know that I am free. There is such a big distance between us that only my death can travel, for the ocean yearns for the pull of the moon.

Now my soul is with you.

Show me the world.

with you, always,

Nauret

There was a certain heaviness on my chest then, for I have lost my true mentor. I saw her in the crowd, dreamt of her in my sleep, even started talking like her, until I decided to travel the world like she wanted me to.

In my travels, I went on with my research and experimentations, publishing my finds in the internet where I can easily upload and retrieve them. There I was introduced to other scientists and doctors who also worked on omegas and other studies concerning the secondary gender.

When I came back home after two years of travel, I was given a high position in the main Universal Laboratory branch in UACME. It seems I am more famous than I thought, and after receiving recommendations from certain omegas in high positions, was given the title of lead researcher in the top secret Prime Omega Project.

I have been working there for a year, when I read about a certain Filipino Scientist in a Scientific Journal.

“Oh, it’s  Prof. Antonio!”

I looked up from my breakfast and stared at the waitress who was pouring my coffee.

“Do you know this person?” I asked him, pointing at the picture of a bearded man in the Scientific Magazine I was reading.

“Ah, he was the brother of my former lawyer,” he told me, “He’s a nice guy, he helped me when I had trouble with my estrus,” he whispered.

I looked at the choker on his neck and the name tag on his chest pocket. It said Gavin.

“Is that so?” I asked, “How would you like to work as my man servant?”

“Ha?”

Since then, I took Gavin in as my assistant. He made great coffee, and was also very hardworking, since he was sending money to his infant son back in his country. He also told me more about Prof. Eric Antonio, whom I was having an interest in. According to him, Prof. Antonio was the pride of their country. Indeed, even I was intrigued by this person. He was merely a professor, yet his published papers were superbly written and meticulously researched down to the last word. He was a beta, yet he spoke of omegas as if he was one of them, and showed true compassion in his writings. 

It was then that I decided that I wanted to learn even more about him, and found out about the confidential DOME Project in Universal Laboratories, Philippines.

It was a stroke of luck, since I was the new head of the Prime Omega Project, a top secret division in Universal Laboratories UACME, which also deals in the study of Prime Omegas.

I decided to go to the Philippines to meet the professor and try to recruit him. I left Gavin in my residence to look after my affairs, and even had his son brought in from the Philippines. I then left my country once more with nothing but my ever growing respect for the professor.

I had no idea he was such  a slob.

“I thought you told me that `mahal kita’ means `I respect you very much’?” I called  Gavin after my first meeting with the professor.

‘Why? What did he say?’ he asked with anticipation.

“He has started mocking me and calling me Habibi.”

I heard Gavin laughing in the background. He seems to be enjoying himself.

‘Well, you see, doc, `mahal’ really means `something of great value’, that’s why some people use it to call the ones they care for the most.’

“Like `beloved’.”

‘Yes, exactly like beloved!’ he screeched in my ear.

“Gavin, it seems to me, you are not keen on keeping your job,” I told him.

“`Uy! Doc, `wag ka naman ganyan! Pasensya na, napansin ko lang na masyado ka’ng natutuwa kay Sir Eric, kaya naisip ko na dapat, unforgettable ang first impression ninyo sa isa’t-isa!”

He was right. It was very unforgettable.

I thought I would lose all my respect for the professor on our first meeting, but with every foul word that comes out of his mouth, a hundred more make up for it in forms of essays, dissertations, experimentations, publications, articles and expositions.

I felt even more respect for him, and for some reason, wanted to serve him and always stay by his side.

Worst, I wanted to keep him to myself.

Such behavior was alien to me. I was surprised myself, as I felt more and more infatuated with the professor, and was reminded of how my mentor Nauret used to feel about me.

I knew it was not a healthy feeling. But no matter how hard I tried to deny it... I could no longer lie to myself. What I felt for him was no longer respect. It has turned into an obsession. A neurotic disorder that I can no longer suppress.

And it hurt.

It was then that I knew how my mentor felt when we parted, knowing that I never felt anything for her aside from the gratification I got whenever we had s*x.

It hurt, knowing that I could never really own this man whom I so desperately wanted to look my way. For I know, though he might call me beloved, that I could never be more to him than a fake...