Chapter 18

1038 Words
As both the men walked out of the house fuming in anger Nathaniel had not even felt that his eyes were filled with tears and he just looked at his house and said,” I knew this was an absolutely rotten idea. But to be hearing things like that….I could not even imagine that bastard was going to say so.” “I wanted to punch his face and break his jaw,” seethed Cadence as he looked at Nat and they both walked towards their car and got in without any further word. “Where do you want to go?” asked Nat as he drove off from the driveway. “I don’t know. I was thinking of hanging out with you at your place for a few days and then I could go back and deal with all that s**t back at my home,” said Cad as Nat smiled sadly. Everyone had their own problems and came running to others in hope that they might be able to get some relief from some of their own issues. “You go back to my apartment. You know where the key is right? I need to blow off some steam,” said Nat as Cad looked at him. “We already get so much of danger in our lives every day. You are on leave now, why do you need to go and get beaten up?” asked Cad as Nat drove towards his house. “Who said I am going to get beaten up? I am just going to blow off some of this excess cortisol. I don’t want to get into unnecessary fights and then hurt someone else,” said Nat. The rest of the drive was spent in silence and Cad did not say anything else. Everyone had their own way of dealing with their issues and they had to be given that chance or bad things might happen. Anger boiled deep in my system, as hot as lava. It churned within, hungry for destruction, and I know it's too much for me to handle. The pressure of this raging sea of anger would force me to say things I do not mean, or to express thoughts I've suppressed for weeks. I know I have to get out everyone's way before I erupt in my furious state. I know that this feeling will pass, but while it hasn't, I'm well aware I could really hurt people. So I escape. I run. I bolt out of my apartment changing my clothes, jamming ear-buds into my ears. Music pours out, sounding like the most beautiful noise I'd ever heard. I turned it up, shutting out the world around me and I just... Let go. Of everything. I allowed the darkness I felt swallow me whole for a little while, but my music felt like it was flowing through my veins, calming me from head to toe. I slowly emerged from the anger I possessed and I stopped running. Having the anger dissipate in me felt nice, and I felt calmer than I had before, I felt free. But was I actually feeling free? I did not know but I was feeling slightly better when I reached the gym. It was almost nine at night and I knew that the gym was going to be empty at this point of time. I entered the gym and then went to my locker. I kept my stuff there and then went to the treadmill and started running again. It was said that running was the queen of exercises, something which was the best to get the cortisol out of your system if rage is coursing through your veins. But I could not get over the fact that our own Rear Admiral would be so callous about speaking of duty and death when we were sitting in front of him. After all he was the one who had suggested that we would need some leave from all this emotional tension which would only cause us further harm if not unwinded properly and unwinding this was. Truly, my father calls me for dinner and then I get angered by the comment of his guest who was not anyone else but my boss. Strange things kept happening with us every day but today was the strangest of all. After I finished running I could still feel that the anger had not gone away from my system for the slightest bit. We saw death every single day in our lives. Every single moment, in Afghanistan we used to see children being blown up into bits because they were playing with grenades considering them to be balls. I had seen that a man was alive but he did not know that his lower of the body had been blown off by mines. Death was something which had lost its meaning to us and I knew that it would be one of glory and I would be lucky if I did die sacrificing my life for the sake of my country. But to say that coming back alive to your family was worse than death, what could make a man so bitter about family? What indeed? I had always wanted a big family. I had never any siblings and my mother did not want to take the responsibility of more than one child after dealing with her husband. I could understand that it was scary prospect when you remained in this anxiety every single day that he might not come back from the battle field but that did not mean that the love and warmth of family could be replaced by anything else. He knew that his parents were not the best of the match but they had done the best they could for his sake and he was lucky for that. They fought for him and that what made him the man that he was today. He kept on punching the sandbag with seeing the face of the bloke who had blasted off the mines whose shrapnel had killed Chris. Nathaniel had no idea what he was going to do if he got his hands upon that man.  
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