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Julianna I got into my car and leaned my head back against the seat rest. “Stupid, stupid, STUPID!” I berated myself, punching the steering wheel in frustration. My hands were shaking so hard that I had a hard time getting the key to slide in the ignition. No sooner had I turned the engine over than I had to open the car door and vomit. My stomach was already empty from the multiple times I had vomited in the ED bathroom, so all I could do was dry heave. No matter how many times I had lectured myself to stay away from the patients, when I was in that ED, and I was hearing the mother’s anguished cries, and half the nursing staff was sobbing I couldn’t not try. The pain of losing Melayia was hot and fresh in my heart, and I thought… if I could spare that mother the kind of grief tha