In Danger and Falling Fast

Chapter 2-2

“Do you want a soda?” Mike called from the kitchen. Maggie was seated on the couch in Mike and Kurt’s den, laptop on her legs trying to read as much about the geography of Prague as she could before she and Kurt were sent there next week.

“Yeah sure, that would be great,” she replied. “Was Kurt planning on picking up beer while he’s out?”

There was a soft clunk from the other room and no answer.

“Mike?”

Still no answer. Maggie got up and walked into the kitchen. Mike was standing in front of the refrigerator, door hanging open, plastic soda bottle on the floor. Except for the chewing motion like he had a wad of bubble gum, he was still, staring vacantly at the wall. Well, s**t. Maggie put her arms around him to ease him to the floor if he started to fall. They had all been so hopeful that he was over and done with seizures, and his brain injury had healed. She pushed the refrigerator door shut with her foot. Roughly a minute ticked past and Mike twitched like he was waking up. He looked around the room and at Maggie.

“I…um…I was…soda…I was getting soda,” he said. His words were slightly slurred and slower than usual.

“Yeah, you were. How ‘bout you come over here to the table and sit down?” She guided him to one of the chairs at the kitchen table. His movements were not the smooth relaxed body motions she was used to seeing from Mike. Maggie snagged a chair for herself and sat down facing him, holding his hands. “Look at me. You’re okay. Just sit still and get your head back together.”

He closed his eyes and his head drooped forward. Mike was very still for several minutes before he finally said “Seizure?”

“Yes, not bad, just one of the absence ones.” She raised one of his hands to her mouth and kissed his knuckles.

“I’m so f*****g tired of this. I want it done. I want my life back. I thought maybe the neurologist was on to something. He seemed optimistic and just…shit…” Mike crossed his arms on the tabletop and rested his face against them.

Maggie felt so sorry for him. He was trying hard to cope with something beyond his control. She scooted closer and rubbed his back, resting her head on the back of his shoulder. “I love you.”

“Don’t say that.” His voice was muffled by his folded arms.

“Why not? I do. You have a medical problem. It doesn’t change your personality or who you are. The only real thing it changes is your ability to be a field operative. You didn’t start out as one, you were an analyst. Now you’re an analyst again. You know damn well unless you are f*****g incapacitated that SPAWAR is going to keep you around even if they have to make you a civilian employee. There are so few people that speak the number of languages that you do, that can see the patterns and interpret the data with your accuracy.” Maggie stroked the nape of his neck.

“My head hurts,” he muttered.

“Come back into the den. You can stretch out on the sofa and rest.”

He slowly raised his head and got to his feet. Maggie kept a grip on him as they went back into the den. Mike lay down on his side. “I feel like I just sprinted a 5K.”

“It’s the after-seizure thing. Close your eyes and rest.” She sat on the floor beside the sofa and rubbed her hand down his arm. “I’m right here. You’re safe.” Maggie didn’t know if he’d remember the things she had said a few minutes ago. If he didn’t, she’d say them all over again later.

Kurt got home about twenty minutes later from his grocery run. Maggie got up off the floor and met him in the kitchen.

“Hey, so I picked up brats and stuff to go with them. We can toss them on the barbecue if you want,” Kurt said as he began to shove items into the refrigerator and cupboards. He turned and looked at Maggie. “What’s wrong?”

“Mike has an absence seizure.”

Kurt braced himself against the counter with both hands, head tipped back. “Aw f**k. Is he okay now? Where is he?”

“Sleeping on the sofa.”

“I had hoped…”

“I think we all had. After he wakes up, I think he should call the neurologist, and find out if he should bounce back to the higher dose.”

“Do we need to take him to the hospital?” Kurt asked.

“No, it wasn’t a tonic clonic, and it only lasted maybe ninety seconds. He was moderately oriented and coherent within five minutes afterward, just exhausted.”

“f**k, f**k, fuck.” Kurt walked into the den and stood looking down as Mike’s sleeping form.

Maggie padded up behind Kurt and put a hand on his arm. “Let him sleep for a while longer.”

Kurt heaved a slow sigh and walked back into the kitchen. Maggie followed. He resumed putting groceries away.

“Need a hand?” she asked.

“Um, can you put the veggies in the fridge?”

“Sure.” It only took her a few minutes to do so. As Maggie was shutting the refrigerator, she noticed a photo secured to the door with a magnet. It featured three children. The oldest looked to be seven or eight, the middle one about three and an infant in the arms of a man with dark hair. “Who are the people in the picture?”

“My brother and his kids, Aaron, Dylan, and Emily. My sister-in-law, Jill, is probably the one who took the picture.”

“And your brother’s name is?”

“Gabe.”

“Older or younger?”

Kurt smiled a little. “Older, by three years.”

“Do they live far away?” Maggie turned to face him.

“Fresno. It takes me about five hours to drive up there.”

“Do you see them often?”

“Every three or four months, and I usually try to spend at least one week a year with them. We Skype about once a week. What about you? You don’t ever say much about your family.”

“One sister. Father alive, mother deceased. We don’t fight but…but…it’s complicated.”

“Oh.”

* * * *

Dinner held little appeal to Mike. He ate almost nothing, feeling far too out of sorts and depressed. At Maggie’s insistence, he left a message with the neurologist’s answering service but no one had returned the call yet. The setting sun cast weak golden light into the back yard where Mike sat in a patio chair. He contemplated going for a run. Yeah, and what if he had another seizure while he was doing that? He wanted to punch something. In an odd and twisted way the past couple of months had been calm and predictable. He went to work. He did his job. He came home. Home meant…Reluctantly, he acknowledged that these days home meant Kurt and often Maggie too. And he had this gut deep guilty feeling that he had let them both down.

Maggie came out into the backyard and sat in a chair opposite him. “The sun’s going down. It feels like the temperature’s dropping.”

“Mmm, yeah, I guess.”

“Kurt’s killing something or other on the Xbox.”

“Okay.”

Maggie poked him with a bare foot. “Don’t you want to go show him who’s boss?”

“Not tonight.” Mike was both tired and restless at the same time.

“Let’s go for a walk. I’ll go get some shoes.”

“What if…?”

“What if nothing happens? You had one absence seizure about four hours ago. I’m not suggesting you go play in traffic. I’ll go with you.” Maggie leaned forward and took his hand.

“I don’t know. I just…” Mike couldn’t decide if wandering around the neighborhood was a wise idea.

“If you’re not in the mood for a walk, how ‘bout a massage? I’m no therapist but I know enough. You’re sitting there all twitchy and tight.”

Mike raised an eyebrow. “Twitchy?”

“Yes. You need to relax. Trying to second guess yourself about if there’s going to be another one is impossible.”

“Okay, you win.”

Maggie stood up. “It could maybe even be a happy ending massage.”

He had to smile a little at that. Anything that involved s*x with Maggie was good.

* * * *

Walking into the bedroom, Kurt paused in the doorway and stood silently, watching. He’d spent the past hour playing Fallout 4, in part because he liked the game and in part to give Mike and Maggie some time alone. Back when Mike had gotten hurt on the op, Kurt had finally acknowledged to himself that he was in love with Mike. Then Maggie had entered the picture. The three of them had fallen into this crazy three-way relationship that defied rules and conventions in more ways than he could even wrap his head around. He cared about Maggie, a lot, but Mike and Maggie had been a “thing” before Kurt and Mike had started their own relationship. A year ago, Kurt was sure Mike would have sworn he was straight, now the man was playing both sides of the line. Kurt had figured out his own bisexuality more than a decade before.

Three months ago, this had all seemed as much a s****l adventure as anything else and Kurt had wondered if it would burn itself out, leaving him or Mike or all three of them alone. Now, the longer they were together, the deeper the emotions ran. Yeah, there was still a fair dose of hot and wild s*x, but he felt like the joint worry by him and Maggie over Mike was drawing the triangle tighter. The decision to ditch condoms and be exclusive had implications of permanency, but Kurt had moments when he wondered if this was all going to last more than a couple of years. The idea of losing Maggie made him sad and if he lost Mike…That idea just plain hurt.

Mike lay on his belly on the bed, blankets pulled up to his waist, appearing asleep. Maggie was beside Mike, head resting on her bent arm, one hand lightly petting Mike’s bare back. She crooked a finger at Kurt and pointed to the empty spot in the bed on the opposite side of Mike. Kurt padded across the room, took off his jeans and T-shirt, and slid into bed.

“Had enough Skyrim?” Mike asked, opening his eyes.

“Fallout 4,” Kurt corrected him. “You still look wiped out.” He hauled Mike up against his chest and kissed him. “I’m glad we decided to do this on a weekend. You can be a couch potato tomorrow.”

Mike made a non-committal sound then said, “And if I have another one?”

“Then we deal.” Kurt ran his fingers down Mike’s spine and glanced at Maggie over top of Mike’s shoulder. She nodded.