Shades of Love

Chapter 2

2

Eva entered the back door of the house, biting her lip in apprehension. After her talk with Brenda, she knew she had to tell her father. Her father was her world—along with her new fiancé—and she wouldn’t be able to hide her pregnancy much longer anyway. He deserved to know he was going to be grandfather.

Maybe, just maybe, it would give him something to look forward to. Even when she moved with Blue to Ireland, her father would still be able to come visit them. He had the means. And if he released her inheritance early, then she’d also travel back to England with his grandchild. This could work if her father would only give Blue a chance and see him in a different light.

She walked through the kitchen and found her father sitting in front of the TV, kicked back in his favorite recliner now that the rest of the family had disappeared to their rooms. The scene was achingly familiar, though her mother was still missing from the chair she’d favored in the corner. Eva had to brace herself against the wall to keep from tearing up at the sight of that empty chair, the imprint of her mother’s round frame still visible within the cushion. Even though it had been so many months since she died, the house still looked the same, felt the same, and Eva expected at any moment that her mother would walk through the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish towel.

Oh, how she wished her mother was here now. Her mother would know exactly what to do. She would take her in her arms, cry with her, tell her it would be all right, and then they would start to plan for the future.

As she stood there, watching her father dozing off in front of some sporting event, she realized she had no earthly idea how he would react.

“Hey Dad.” She crossed the room and sat in the chair near his. “What are you watching?”

He looked over at her while holding a tall glass of whisky—half of it already gone. “The football game. Dinner went well tonight, don’t you think?”

Eva nodded, resting her hands on her stomach, still concealed under her coat. She had thought about just revealing her bump and letting him ask questions, but decided against the surprise maneuver. She’d gotten herself into this situation and no matter what her father said, her baby wasn’t going away. They’d have to work through this and he’d just have to accept the fact that his daughter was having a child with the man she loved.

“Eva May, you look more like your mother every day.”

Eva looked up to find her father staring at her, a faint smile on his face. Had she ever seen that smile since her mother died?

It sent a shot of grief straight to her heart, thinking that her next words might take it away permanently. She really hoped he’d accept her decision and want to help her be happy.

“I see it more now than ever,” he added. His eyes trailed southward, and Eva pulled her jacket closed. “You’re still wearing the dove.”

Eva brought her hand to her chest, where the necklace her mother had given to her hung. It was a small, silver dove, its wings spread in flight. “I never take it off.”

He smiled. “I gave that to your mother on the day I asked her to be my wife. She wore it every day, too.”

Eva smiled wistfully. She’d heard that story—they’d been at the town fair and he’d gotten on one knee in front of the big Ferris wheel. He’d called her mother the love of his life.

If only Eva’s father could summon up as much happiness for the love of her life.

“Dad,” she said, watching the smile fade and the glimmer of tears appear in his eyes before he blinked them away. She had hated these past few months, seeing her strong, stoic father with that sad, tearful look in his face. He had always been their rock, the man that nothing could touch, but her mother’s death had nearly destroyed him.

He shook his head, wiping a hand over his face. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up. Did you see the stack of university brochures on the table?”

Eva bit her lip again, a nervous habit she wished she could hide. Suddenly the truth she wanted to reveal overwhelmed her with its immensity. Back when everything was right in the world and her mother was alive, they had pored through college and university brochures, some as far away as in the United States for the perfect one where Eva would continue her education. She had dreamed of being a nurse or a teacher, helping others.

But now that seemed to be just a distant hope, put aside for the baby that was growing in her belly. She wasn’t upset about the fact, but rather excited at how her life had taken such a drastic turn. Her fiancé loved the fact that she was pregnant and Eva couldn’t wait to start their lives together. “I-I haven’t had a chance to pick through them.”

He looked at her, his eyes narrowing. “You don’t have much time if you expect to get in before the fall term. Make sure you do that tomorrow.”

She heard the military style marching order in his voice and nodded, knowing that he would not let it rest until she agreed. “Yes, sir. I’ll do it tomorrow. Maybe Brenda can help.”

“No,” he said, focusing his attention back to the TV. “Brenda is troubled. She’ll just lead you on the wrong path. Do something for yourself, for once.”

Eva held back her laughter, thinking of Brenda at university with all the boys around for her choosing. Brenda will be in heaven then.

Her baby kicked suddenly, something that she’d only first felt a few weeks ago, and now, kept her up at nights. She wondered if she’d ever get used to the fact that she had another human being in her.

“It’d be good to get a sense of independence. And it would give you some space.”

“From what?” Eva asked, shifting in the chair to get comfortable.

Her father looked over, a frown marring his features. “From him. That man…the so-called pastor.”

The word pastor dripped with sarcasm off his tongue. It was not that her father mocked religion. No, it was far worse than that. Eva didn’t think her father believed her fiancé was a man of god at all.

Eva sighed. When she had tried to introduce Blue to her father, he had told them they weren’t allowed to date and walked away, leaving Eva in shock. She had to admit that Blue wasn’t who her father probably had envisioned for her and that his lifestyle was what her father, a military man—such a normal man—would call extravagant, exotic, and just plain odd. He’d wanted her to marry an attorney, a doctor. Eva, however, had thought Blue’s profession to be exciting and extraordinary—he was a man with spiritual beliefs, with passion and purpose. The congregation he worked in had a program of spiritual evolution based on mental concentration and the search for self-knowledge which would lead to a healthier and more harmonious life.

Claiming roots as far back as the tenth century, it had lain dormant, reappearing in the fifties, inspired by visions of a Shaman who lived in the Brazilian sss Forest from where it spread worldwide. The people of his congregation were, he said, devoted to a higher purpose; that is, to love one another and advance their group collectively. As soon as they were married, Eva and her fiancé would become a part of that free community, where spiritual guidance would keep them all in peace, loving each other. They took care of one another, and as one of the congregation leader’s assistants, her fiancé was a respected, powerful man.

But her father hadn’t seen it that way.

Her father had seen him as—what was the word he’d called him?—a charlatan.

He’d told her she’d gone crazy and had kicked her secret fiancé out of their vast farmhouse, threatening to get him arrested if he approached Eva again. Her lover had laughed and said the old man could go to the police as much as he wanted, since his actions were perfectly legal and only her father would be prosecuted for prejudice against a recognized faith. Her father’s eyes had gone cold, his posture even more rigid than normal, as if a rod had been thrust into his spine. Without a word, he had pointed Eva to her room.

But now that she was expecting his first grandchild, things would be different. She straightened her posture. “I’m going to see him, Dad,” she said. “I’ve already told you that you can’t stop me.”

Her father sat up so fast that he knocked the chair back onto the floor. “And I remind you that you live under my roof and I make the rules. Do not tell me you’ve been seeing him behind my back, Eva May.”

Her father’s face reddened, contorted with an anger Eva had never quite seen before. Eva weighed her options. She could just blurt the truth out and hope for the best. After all, he was already upset.

“He’s too old for you. He has to be at least thirty.”

Only twenty-seven, actually, Eva thought, though he did carry himself like someone much more mature, someone wiser.

“You’re a young girl! What do you want with him?”

At that moment, Eva could’ve named a thousand things she wanted from him, but she knew her father wouldn’t want to hear a single one. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out.

“Never mind,” he said a moment later, gulping the rest of his whisky down. “I can see it written all over your face. I know you’re eighteen, but he is not good enough for you, Eva. Trust me on this.”

“Will anyone ever be good enough, Dad?” she asked bitterly.

Her father clenched his fists together tightly, his eyes boring holes into hers. “Don’t get involved with him. What do you really know about his congregation?”

“I know he has hundreds of people who depend on him. Who love him,” she said, thrusting her chin into the air with defiance.

“He has so many people who love him, and yet he had to traverse the Irish Sea to seduce my daughter?” He shook his head doubtfully. Disappointedly.

Eva opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. Yes, for a long time, she’d wondered if something was wrong with her, because the boys never looked her way. What had made Blue single her out when with his amazing good looks he could have his choice of women? He’d been tight-lipped about his people, but he’d said it was a thriving community, and that she’d be welcomed there. But truthfully Eva had wondered what had made her so special to him. She certainly had never had a man express such interest in her before.

And the way her father looked at her, like she’d been stupidly taken advantage of, made her realize something: Even though she was his daughter, he didn’t think she was special enough, either.

The next time he spoke, his voice was smaller, more beaten. “He’s a bad seed and he’s only going to ruin your life, Eva.”

“He’s not,” Eva said firmly, then stood. “Let me live my life the way I want. He’s a good man, I swear.”

“And you know so much!” Her father snorted. “You’re sugar-coating everything. I thought I raised you better. I’ll never admit him into our home, so long as I live and breathe. Consider yourself warned.”

With tears blinding her vision, Eva pushed past her father and stormed out of the house, not caring that the back door banged against the doorframe as she walked outside. Her father was wrong. Her fiancé wasn’t a bad seed. She was special to him, because he had seen past the walls she usually put up around men. He loved her. She could feel it in her bones and in her heart.

Her love for him and their baby was powerful, touching every single thought she had and even her smallest actions…it was just magical. She had never felt anything so strong, so meaningful, in all her life.

Her father would just have to accept the fact that she was going to marry someone he didn’t approve of, but she didn’t care. She loved her fiancé and he would be her husband. No doubt about it.