Dearest, You Said

Nova’s P.O.V I am so sick and tired of all the screaming and fighting. I just want a good relationship. Is that seriously too much of me to ask for? I just wish that he truly cared about me as much as he does his friends. All he does all day and night is hang out with his friends, while I am stuck here at the housecleaning , cooking, and taking care of our three little girls. Now, of course, don’t take this the wrong way. Of course, I really do not care that he is spending time with his friends. I honestly really do not. I just wish that he would spend more time with me and especially his daughter. Man, I really need to get my license. I am so tired of being stuck here at this house while he gets to come and go as he pleases. Sometimes I really wonder if he is just simply with me because of our girls. The way he acts is honestly how I feel. I know he says that he loves and really wants to be with me, but sometimes it really does not seem that way at all. I just really do not know what to do anymore at this point in m life. I truly just want to give up completely. I could never do that, though. The way he is with me, I am terrified to think of what would happen to my babies if I had given up. I really need to stop thinking like this. I need to finish cleaning so I can get our dinner cooked before he gets home. “Mama, mama hello, MAMA!” “Hmm, what is it, baby girl? I am sorry momma was thinking and did not hear what you had just asked me.” “Mama, we go outside, please?” “In just a little, sweet thing, mommy is trying to clean up before daddy gets home from work, okay?” “NO! Outside now!” “Sweetheart, if you do not stop yelling at me, then you will not go outside at all! Now I love you, but mommy has got to finish cleaning, and then start dinner before we do anything else. So now go play with your sisters, please.” I lean down and kiss her little forehead before she even has the chance to run off trying to pouting “Hmph, fin, but mama meanie.” I love my girls I truly do, however sometimes I wish I would have waited longer before having any children. “Why is dinner not ready yet? You have only one thing you have to do, which is make sure I have a plate of hot food when I am home. So why is thee an empty table and a messy house?” I feel him pull at the back of my shoulder, turning me around to face him. I put my head down low so I do not have to look him in the face and tell him. “Jesus, Cody, you scared the living hell out of me.” “That is great and all, but that does not answer my question. So, like I had already asked, why don’t I have a hot plate of food and a clean house?” “One, because it is only four, I rarely start cooking till a little after five, and second, I didn’t even know you were going to be home early. You’re normally not home till almost seven.” I feel a hand slap me across the face before I could even blink. I would love to say that I had gotten used to the hits, slaps, kicks, and even punches by now, and that it does not hurt anymore, but that would be a straight up lie if I would have said that. “Well, if you must know, I got off early today, if you could not already tell that by me being back home now.” “Why didn’t you let me know you were getting off early, then?” “Why? So you could make sure that your other boyfriend was gone before I got back.” He hissed at me, then spat in my face. I have to watch what I say next. It could end up getting me hurt again. “No, because then I would have cooked sooner and you would have already had a hot meal on the table.” “Hmm, sure, that is the reason, isn’t it?” He is looking and suspiciously, as if he is expecting to see something or someone. “Daddy, daddy you’re home! I missed you so, so much.” Luckily, our oldest daughter, Bella, who is currently five years old, comes running into the room, jumping up at her father for a hug. That stopped the punch I was about to get to the abdomen. “I missed you, baby girl. How was your day so far?” I looked down at her as she looked up at her father, then spoke. “It was okay but, daddy mama is meanie.” “Oh yeah, and how and why is that, darling?” “Well, daddy it is because she would not let us go outside.” “Well baby girl, how about we go out to eat then?” “Really daddy, you mean it?” “Yes, my little princess, just you, your sisters and me. Mommy does not get to go with us since she was mean to you. Now off you help get your sisters ready, then have mommy do your hair. While you go get them ready, your mommy and I are going to have a little talk, okay, baby?” He sweetly told as she hugged him again tightly and giggling as she ran off. “Okay daddy.” She skips out of the room excited, leaving just me and her father in the room. “So now you do not let them go outside then, hmm?” “It is not what it seems. I was trying to get the house cleaned and then was going to start dinner, so I had simply told them not yet.” He successfully punches me in my abdomen this time, due to there not being any children around, and then kicks me to the ground. I am curled up in a ball as he walks out of the room saying, oh also, just so you know, you better have them ready in fifteen minutes, or else you will not like me too much after I get back with the girls. With that, he leaves me on the floor in pain to get up before the girls come back in. After getting them ready, I hug and kiss them all, saying goodbye. Then I decide I am just going to clean up and wait for him to get back to see what punishment I receive when he gets back home from eating with our daughters tonight.