The Girl Has A Secret

"M-Ma..." Biglang nanginig ang mga kamay ko dahil bigla kong nabasag ang kanyang salamin. Hindi ko sinasadyang matamaan nang mapadaan ako sa kanyang makeup table. "M-Ma, hindi ko po sinasadya, n-natamaan ko po ang—" She held me despisely and made me grunt in pain. "Alam mo bang binili pa ng daddy mo sa akin 'yang salamin na 'yan sa Japan? That vintage hand mirror was a symbol of his love for me and you just broke it!" She said angrily. Kagat-kagat niya ang kanyang pang-ibabang labi dahil sa galit niya sa akin. She looked at the broken mirror with her glare. "Even the most expensive glue hindi 'yan maididikit!" "I'm so sorry po, Mama. G-Gagawan ko po nang paraan. Ididikit ko po 'yun—" "Are you deaf or just a stupid little freaking dog?! Sabi ko EVEN the most expensive glue hindi na yan maididikit! You've just ruined my morning!" She harshly let my arms go. I got my knees weak kaya napaupo ako sa sahig at naramdaman ko ang pamamasa sa palad ko. "What are you doing here in my place, anyway? To do makeup? Hindi ka na gaganda at wala nang pagbabago ang mukha mo! Siguro sinadya mong sirain ang salamin ko to prove to yourself that you'll be beautiful kahit hindi naman!" My sobs were blocking my breath. Wala na akong maisagot sa Nanay ko kundi paghiyaw ko na lang dahil sa marahas niya akong itinayo. I saw a lot of blood on the floor, natusok ang basag na salamin sa mga palad ko. He touched my hair disdainfully and faced the huge mirror before me. "Look how your face ridiculous," sabi niya na nagpadagdag nang pag-nginig ng labi ko. "Ito ang gusto mong makita? Hindi mo pa rin ba maisip kung gaano kasilly yung mukha mo? Wake up, Ayesha, wake up!" Nakita ko ang mukha ko sa salamin. Ang pinandidirian ng lahat. A lot of acne, blackheads, thick eyebrows, a curly but disgusted hair. My ugliness was slapping me. Hindi ko kayang makita ang sarili ko sa salamin. Ikinahihiya ko ang sarili ko. "Mama, nasasaktan po ako," I said weakly while holding her hand. Gusto kong tanggalin ang kamay niyang nakasabunot sa akin pero masyado akong nanghihina. "You're not beautiful and you'll be never anything else, Ayesha, you're not! I am ashamed that I have that kind of daughter. Ang layo ng mga itsura ng mga kapatid mo sa 'yo. Am I your real mother? I doubt it! Looking at you makes my day ruined!" Seeing my face makes me think even the most beautiful flowers will wreath in my head and will look also ugly. Naiintindihan ko ang Nanay ko kung bakit ganito ang kanyang reaksyon. I can't blame her. Ang gaganda at gagwapo nila, ako lang ang hindi. "I-I'm so sorry, Mommy..." "Stop saying sorry, the mirror will never be back in the same position and same look. Ayesha..." Binitawan niya ako nang marahas. Napakapit ako sa makeup table ni Mama. "It's time to wake up. It's time to face reality because you are already nineteen years old. You will never be someone else, you will never be beautiful and you have to deal with your own problem. Paano kita ipapakilala sa lahat ng mga partners and magiging sponsor mo sa graduation mo kung sakali? I am very very embarrassed!" Yumuko ako at napapikit nang mariin para damdamin lahat ng sinabi ni Mama. "Mom." Pareho kaming humarap sa doorway. My brother was standing there while his arms were crossed and positioned on his chest. "Enough." "I am very disappointed," sabi ni Mama at bumaling ulit sa akin na masama ang tingin, "with this daughter of mine." "What just happened?" My brother asked as he walked toward us, "Is it necessary?" "Of course, anak! It is. She just broke the most important thing that I received from your father."