Paradoxical Love

Chapter 1: New day arrives

I woke up suffocating in my soft bed, slavering on my comfortable pillow. I chased my struggling breath because of a dreadful dream, I almost had nightmares shut me down for good, I was gasping nonstop and can't properly breathe for like seconds.

I pounded my relentless chest throbbing at the speed as if a dog had chased me around the corner in the street. After a proper inhalation and exhalation, my heartbeat calmed to its former state.

What does that dream even mean? A young lady tried to steal my life or I'm not so sure, what is that it was so vivid and strange I don't remember anything anymore, because dreams disappear quickly.

I immediately remembered I still had to attend school today so I tried to reach the alarm clock on the table to turn it off immediately before it would buzz repeatedly. I wake up early as usual and I was only late for the school morning ceremony occasionally.

But I noticed I did a grave mistake. I was very vexed when I realized that the alarm clock had already rung but I did not wake up, so I put the clock back in its original place since there's nothing I could do about it.

I was about to get up when suddenly I felt something heavy on my chest. Isn't this a normal day every now and then? She never learned so persistently always here in my bed snoring. In my opinion, this cleverness of my sister entering my room without my permission is the reason why she's remarkably cute and also bothersome in an eccentric way.

I always told her as I did not miss reminding my sister to never sleep in my room especially on my bed. Now my only personal space became her den notwithstanding my opinion about it.

It would have been nice if she's just here occasionally, but in reality, this girl's too heavy sleeping on top of me. She's used to making me her pillow, sadly it ultimately became her habit and I can do nothing but accept how she stifles me every morning until all my limbs are weak. I pushed her sideways, just in case she might get angry.

"Kiana, wake up there." I insist, trying to push her.

"Five minutes more..." She didn't bunch an inch or two.

"I'll be late soon. What's with you just get out of the way." I hope she learns not to hibernate in my bed even though she has her own bedroom. It's just unfair that I no longer have privacy for her whimsical attitude.

Maybe I had a nightmare last night as I couldn't breathe properly so I kept dreaming about things. Anyway, she's Kiana Flores Silva, my responsible sister which I am currently waking up, I tried shaking her completely and still without any effect.

"Wake up now, will you? Your hair strands' getting into my mouth, and I said yesterday that you should cut it by just a handful." I'm reminding her of what I said before as she wouldn't forget it.

Her silky silver hair is too long extending below her waist. Actually, even against my will, I don't want her to get a haircut since I prefer the way it currently is since it defies the law of cuteness but it's irritating like this when she joyously hold her slumber party here. Every day her sideburns get on my mouth there is one time it almost became my breakfast.

"On Sunday I will think about it, big bro." She replied, extended her arms while yawning.

"You said that, but seriously we will both be late for school." Once again, we're doomed to be late if we don't move now.

"If you say so." She hugged me tightly before she left my bed. This is what normal siblings do, not that I doubt it was normal, but it seems like that.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Oh, I forgot, good morning brother." She greeted me with her angelic smiles that can probably cure my cancer if I had one. She welcomed me anyway even though it is hard for her to stand up, it is better than just being a snob like sometimes when I do something she does not want she can't even face me.

"Good morning too, Kiana. I'll cook breakfast first, what do you want?" Asking her first thing in the morning is a must.

"Sausage and egg." She replied, squinting her eyes over the small mirror near my table.

"Oh, how about the leftover curry yesterday?" I suggested since we can re-heat it and save more time.

"I was hungry last night and I ate it all." She's a glutton I almost forgot.

"Ah is that so." It was a bummer but I guess I should prepare something from scratch without using most of our preparation time.

I was hoping there is still some 'cause I fell asleep while playing online games forgetting to eat my dinner. Welp, to avoid wasting minutes, I got up from my bed to do my daily morning routine.

"Just go to the kitchen later, take a shower first to save time," I suggested.

"Okay big bro!" Enthusiastic first thing in the morning I see.

I went to the kitchen to cook our breakfast. A new day means another trial. I prefer this kind of scenario every morning and in recent days; calm and peaceful, just going in the flow of life, but just quiet when at home.

I loudly opened the refrigerator to pick up the five sausages and got the eggs on the shelves near the dining table. For sure, a pair wouldn't be enough for her I should cook five right off the bat, but I seriously wanted to fry the marinated chicken meat though it would take a lot of time.

As I lovingly prepared the breakfast for the two of us, I also heated the leftover rice last night. The aroma of the garlic surely makes my stomach rumble aloud.

When asked if Kiana and I have parents; in fact, we are not really related by blood. Father met Kiana's mother eight years ago after my real mother left us and went straight to heaven due to heart cancer.

If destiny is to be revealed, five years ago my father then passed away so the only family I left behind was Kiana and her mother, who is now my parent. I did hear Kiana's original father died in a car accident, and such fate is lamenting for my step-mom that she's unable to be re-married afraid she will lose everything again.

Even in such a situation, I am still glad that they accepted me whole despite the fact that they are not my blood relatives. They loved me as a dependable family, a typical loving family of society.

Just two years ago mommy went abroad to japan for work so Kiana and I were left here in this big two-story house building. We lived on the same roof, this is our precious home. Mommy went abroad because we had to pay for our education and the other daily expenses just for us to get by.

Kiana's family was already prosperous before her mommy married my daddy. Even though I sometimes feel sad, I consider her my real sister as she is my comfort whenever I am depressed or troubled.

I also used to want to have a sibling who I can share whatever we do, crying, laughing, getting hurt, and anything else, as long as we are together that is all that matters; we can even become a partner in crime. Maybe that is weird considering the fact that siblings nowadays are annoying as hell, and they really are.

Even if Kiana's pushy something, not sometimes, always–I'm happy because I'm with her by my side whenever I'm anxious or suffering. I am the same every time she experiences such a thing, always next to each other, we won't let one other be saddled in grief.

For too long to tell a story here, I put the sausages and the scrambled eggs on two separate plates, and the fried rice's nicely done in a jiffy.

"Brother, I'm done taking a bath. Your turn now, I'll take over from here."

She had arrived in the kitchen with a towel wrapped around her chest down her curvaceous waist. I handed her the serving spoon and let her do the remaining task for me to take a bath. Usually, I take a bath first, and then she cooks but sometimes this is our morning set-up.

"All right, as long as you don't eat right away like you did the other day. It hurts to be left behind if you only knew." I'm just kidding to make her feel sorry for me.

"I only did that once 'cause I have to practice for my report! Sheesh." Brushing me off slightly while she pouts, now I am the one who feels bad.

Well, jokes on her we are literally attending the exact same university. "While your room is just next to each other, yeah."

"What I mean is my group needed me there to be early. Take a bath already this fried rice is already cooked." She grumbled planning to go first.

Eventually, she frowned and look at it like I was one who was guilty of the two of us. I just don't like my sister leaving me behind.

I went to the bathroom so I could take a shower and she was definitely mumbling again at the dining table, cursing me with her harsh words.

After fifteen minutes of bathing, I hurried to the kitchen and saw that Kiana was already washing her plate. She didn't even wait for me, that's how she was with me without knowing it was saddening on my part.

"Our breakfast's getting cold that's why," Kiana said with mixed resentment. She just meant that maybe she was just tired of me earlier because I was teasing him in a good way.

"Sorry, wait for me please,"  I begged and of course she would be on my side when I use the word 'please' on her for whatever reason.

"Fine, I can't stand my big bro. All right, I'll just get dressed." Now she mentioned that she had not put up her uniform. She ran quickly into the room posthaste almost slipped in a hurry.

Anyway, after I had breakfast, I promptly prepared our lunch box, of course, the same fried sausages and eggs were the contents.

So then, I went to the bedroom to get dressed. This white polo with a black stripe at the end of the sleeve, and these navy blue pants, is the uniform of the boys in our school.

The same goes for women is they have a necktie and of course, navy blue is the color of the skirt with double white strokes on the end of them; above the knees of course even though boy's eyesight is getting dark from just a glance, but not me, I'd never do such degeneracy.

"Are you ready yet?" I asked her, my voice's enough to reach her over the walls.

"I'm ready now, hehe," Kiana answered cheerfully while giggling. I walked down the stairs and went straight to the living room,  she clasped her hand on my left arm with an angelic smile.

Women tend to change their moods faster than the speed of light. Alas, I do not understand them. It's easier to solve Rubik's cube with your eyes closed than to know what women think.

We left the house as I made sure to lock it without leaving any appliances open. From the road to the corner, up to the jeepney, and up to the school grounds, her arms clutched on my left hand as if it was a padlock that could not be removed.

How can we not be mistaken by other people we are lovers when we are so close to the spare point that it is normal for us, but still, we still do not care about anyone in the world, whatever their opinion is we are definitely brothers and sisters, nothing else malicious about our familial relationship.

As we walked down the hallway, I could feel their talking eyes as if uttering about what I was doing in my life. Some are scared and others are clearly avoiding me. Kiana just grinned all the way glad she's with me, and like before I wore this strained and taciturn countenance for I have been like this since before they have their first impressions on me.

When we went up to the third floor, I just endured their weary eyes with the thought of anger. I just want to be a normal student without prejudice, and it's also hard on my part they see me as a threat rather than a fellow sophomore.

Finally in the second room at the end of the hallway is Kiana's homeroom so she bid goodbye to me.

"Brother, let's have lunch together later." She twinkled her left eye in cutest, there's no way I would decline it.

"All right later," I responded.

She smiled like an angel again, not 'like', and rather she's really an angel for me. She always makes me forget the tasteless look of the other students. A daily dose of her cuteness is a must.

Next to their room is ours. At the very end, the name of our section is written at the top of the "Gladiator" tagboard, since we are A section. There were different strands as well. The building's up to the sixth floor here, maybe the tallest building at Saint Legacy University is on the ninth floor if I'm not mistaken.

Though I was hesitant, I just held the doorknob, this feeling of drowsiness and slight vertigo suddenly showed up, I said to myself now directly in my head, "Another day of dullness, this day may be the same as the other."

When I opened the door of our classroom, my gaze returned to this place. The dark, lifeless or colorless dwells the darkness of reality that did not happen by accident.

As I walked to my seat which is from where I was standing, it is located in the last row and column, where there is an open window, there I always looked at the peaceful sky.  All of my classmates went all silent even though they were talking about something before I stepped into this room.

Even our adviser himself had nothing to say to me despite the fact I'm late in the room. Precisely my classmates think of me as a delinquent, loner, and reserved one probably of my not-so-friendly face.

I was treated differently from other students, it definitely exists, the inequality of society. For their eyes, I am the one who is strange, as if I am in a different dimension now. An enigmatic void filled my being.

"Okay class it's time for attendance. Say present clearly." Note from our adviser.

That being said, our adviser started calling names. It seems like I don't know whose names our adviser is calling because I never talked to them nor I have time to think and memorize their names, I mean why do I need to bother at all? They are all selfish.

While looking at the clouds with gloom, waiting for my name that everyone hates, speak of the angel, I heard my name from the teacher's table. I raised my right hand ordinarily, but with a smirk on my face.

"Reyler Flores Silva." The whole class became soundless the moment they heard my name. That's right, it is the name that everyone fears.

"Present." My answer is simple.

After a brief delay of silence, the former peace returned, and they breathed a sigh of relief. I seem to be right, even though it is another day, the occurrences are still the same.

The same people and the same classroom with no hues to expect of, not that I'm expecting something or anything. Let me wait and see their anxiety. It seems that the hatred and revulsion that dwells on their pitiful face has become my pleasure.