Secret Mate: Night Circus Series

Never ending love 7

Caradoch

Even saying the words was bad. Like I was reliving it. And from the silence that came from behind me, I knew she was reliving it as well. Maybe not in the way I was. She wasn’t being transported into the memories of the girl she had been, but she was trying to make sense of it.

It was useless doing that. I'd been trying to make sense of it for centuries and I still couldn’t. There was no excuse for what I had done to her. The only one I had was that I had been out of my mind. A newborn vampire and rabid. All I had thought about was blood. And my unquenchable thirst.

No. I shook my head, my back still to her. That wasn’t true either. When I had laid with her on the beach, I had known I was dying. That’s why I had kissed her, why I was in so much of a rush for us to be wed. I would have done anything. I would have paid any price to not die.

That price had been her. The blood of the only person I had ever cared about.

“Ok.”

I turned sharply to find her sitting up behind me, her chin resting on her knees and her arms around her legs. She didn’t look angry or even sad. She just looked thoughtful.

I raised an eyebrow. I had expected more of a reaction from her.

“Are you going to kill me again?”

I did a double take. Scrambling forward as clumsily as any human, I reached for her but stopped short before I could. Instead, I shook my head. “No.” Shaking my head vehemently, I dropped my arms back to my sides. “No, I have never killed you since that night, Thana. And I am not going to kill you now. That’s why you are here.” I sucked in a breath I didn’t need. “It’s why I took you. So I could hide you away and keep you safe.”

She lifted her eyes to me. “You haven’t killed me since that night? How many times have I been reborn, Caradoch? And if you didn’t kill me, then who did? Who are you keeping me safe from?”

I hesitated. I had said too much. The more she knew, the more danger she was in.

“Tell me, Caradoch, or I swear I’m going to stake you or whatever it is that kills real vampires.”

My lips quivered upwards in a smile that I knew would drive her crazy. And not in a good way. “I am not so easy to kill, Thana.”

She studied me for a second and then answered my smile with one of her own. “But I am. I’m a weak human, remember? Fragile. And I seem to be good at the dying thing.” She shrugged her slender shoulders like her words weren’t a dagger in my heart.

“Don’t joke about things like that,” I warned, my voice a low, menacing sound.

“Why not?”

I didn’t like this new modern Thana. The one that was all sharpness and sarcasm. Where was my sweet love?

“Because I will not wait another generation to find you again.” My voice was ragged. “I will not lose you again. I am strong now. I can protect you and make this right. You will find nothing here to harm yourself with, Thana. I have made sure of it.”

She stared at me for a long minute. “I do not need to harm myself to die, Caradoch. All I need to do is lay here and do nothing.” The corner of her mouth twitched, but not in a smile. It was a grimace. “I won’t eat, I won’t drink.”

Staring at her, I weighed up my options. “It’s an empty threat.”

In answer, she laid down, her eyes glued to the ceiling above her head.

“My sire is a jealous master, Thana,” I said wearily. “If she finds you here…” I shuddered. “She will not share my affections.”

“She’s killed me before?”

“Yes.” I settled myself down next to her. “So many times. And until now, there was nothing I could do to stop her. I always found out too late. I won’t be too late this time, Thana.” Letting my hand fall onto her stomach, I sighed in dismay. She was thinner than she had been when I had taken her. “Everything I have done is to keep you safe. No one can know you are here. No one can know that you are alive. It's the only way we can be together long enough for me to work out what to do. And for the mark to become permanent.”

The moment it had appeared on my skin, I had begun to weaken. I was almost as slow and useless as a human, almost, but not quite. Yet that would change as the bond solidified. When it was permanent, I would be stronger than ever. But until it did, I was too weak to do anything to protect Thana but hide her away.

“People think I’m dead?” Something unreadable passed across her face. “My sister?”

Pain tightened my features. “Yes, she should think you are dead. I made your home into a bloody crime scene. I heard rumours that she was out for revenge, but after today I am not so sure. The Daughters of Cain are suspicious, at least. But not even they can help you if my sire finds you. I am the only one that can.”

That wasn’t exactly true. The Daughters could keep her safe, so could her family of witches if they wanted to. But I didn't want to let her out of my sight. I didn’t want to let her go.

“I want to speak to my sister.”

“No.” Shaking my head, I inhaled sharply as her small hand rocked my head back.

“I said I want to speak to my sister.”

Catching up her wrist, I forced it down into the pillows. Leaning over her, I used my weight to pin her down. “And I said no.”

Anger flared to life in her eyes, illuminating them from the inside. She thrashed, trying to dislodge me from her body.

I did the only thing I could think to do.

I kissed her.