The Lotus And The Billionaire

Chapter 70: Talk or Don't

After I answered his question, the atmosphere between us turned heavy. It was almost as if Alvarez was pissed because of my question. I didn’t know why, but it felt that way.

I c****d my head to the side as I stared at him, wondering what was wrong about what I said. But then I noticed that he seemed so out of it. Perhaps I should just remain quiet and let him think.

I don’t know what was wrong, but it was definitely something I should have just kept quiet about. The peace that engulfed the two of us had vanished into nowhere, and I am getting a sense that it was my fault.

Is it, though?

A sigh escaped from my lips as I stood up and looked down from the balcony. Normally, Alvarez wouldn’t let me. But he did not stop me from leaving him there. Instead, he remained quiet as his hands dropped to the armrest of the chair without even saying anything to me.

What is wrong with him…?

Oh.

What a sight to see…

As I looked down, I found several of the house staff playing around the pool, having fun. A smile crept upon my lips as I watched them have fun. I wish I could join in, but I don’t even belong there.

“Wanna join them?” Alvarez broke the silence, but his tone was just as impassive as the expression he was wearing.

“No,” I lied and continued looking down.

“They’d let you join them if you asked.”

“I already said I don’t want to.”

He sighed. “I know you’re lying.”

“And I know you’re being weird right now.”

I shifted my gaze to him, my face remaining grim. As we go further into this relationship, I’m starting to realize that there are plenty of things about him that I loathe.

He just…suddenly acts like this. Sometimes, I say things that probably upset him without me knowing. And then when it happens, he bottles them up and suddenly acts like this.

I hate it.

No, I despise it. Him, too.

I don’t like it when people just suddenly get mad at me because I used to be a people pleaser. Maybe I still am. But f**k, why does he not tell me when I do something he doesn’t like?

“Diaz, are you…” he trailed off as he approached me quickly, his hands cupping my face. This time, his face depicted genuine worry. If it really is genuine…

“What…” I muttered, my voice trembling.

“Why are you crying?” He wiped the sides of my eyes, and that was when I realized that tears had escaped.

What the…

I shoved his hands away and wiped my own tears. He looked hurt because of what I did, but I’m just…really pissed. He hates it when others do that to him because he hates being lied to, but he does it all the f*****g time.

“Why do you have to be such a jerk?” I asked, my voice trembling.

“Diaz, what? I’m not even—”

“You know you were being an asshole! Just a while ago, you were being so nice. But now—”

“You would not want to know. Trust me, Diaz, you don’t want to know…” he told me, his voice strained that it almost cracked.

“You don’t know that! You can’t decide s**t for me!”

“That’s not what I—”

“I don’t care about what you mean anymore!” I walked past him, leaving him on the balcony.

I remember how Grandpa Emil had this gigantic library that I used to love as a kid. Whenever I fought with Alvarez back then, I would hide here so that they couldn’t find me.

Ha! Our grandfathers used to force us to make up whenever they found me where I was hiding. Even when we didn’t want to hang out, they would often say that they would cut our allowance off or something.

And now, we have been forced to get married. At this point, I can’t tell if it was the situation my family was in or if it was he, himself, who pushed for this whole thing to happen.

I just hate how…all of this came to happen.

I pursed my lips as I felt tears rolling down my cheeks. This is why I covered my face with a book. Just in case a maid or some employee saw me, they wouldn’t know I’m crying.

Wait?

What am I shedding tears for, by the way?

“Diaz…”

I refused to look up.

“Hey, let’s talk…” his voice turned soft as he spoke to me as if trying to woo me. “What happened back there? I…I just don’t understand what the problem is.”

“There’s nothing wrong. Just go away, I’m trying to read.”

“Just so you know, I have been watching you from a distance for the past few minutes, and you haven’t turned the page at all.”

“I’m trying to read slowly.”

He let out a low chuckle as he sat beside me. “You’ve seriously been reading the exact same spot for ten minutes.”

“That’s because I want to take it in completely.”

“You didn’t even start from the very beginning, mi amor.”

“I have read those.”

He poked my cheek, making me look at him. “You could never remember where you left off without a bookmark.”

“How do you know?”

“Simple. I paid attention.”

I sniffed and shifted my attention to him, frowning. He flashed a small smile as he took a handkerchief out, wiping my face that was filled with tears. It was because of him, by the way.

“You look like the little snotty s**t you were when we were kids. Ah, I guess there really was no change.”

I furiously snatched the hanky from him and wiped my face while he laughed. He really has the guts to mock me after he just made me bawl my eyes like a dumbass here.

“As far as I remember, you were the snotty brat, not me. I had a picture of you with snot all over your face.”

“That’s f*****g disgusting.”

“Yeah. You still look that way to me right now.”

“Mm-hmm. Whatever you want to believe.”

I rolled my eyes and threw the handkerchief at him. He dodged with a fake disgusted expression, making me laugh. I quickly covered my face before he caught me giggling.

But I failed because he was already smiling, almost as if he was teasing me about it. I rolled my eyes and looked away, afraid he would suddenly bring the whole thing up.

“Diaz,” he called.

“What?” I asked, my tone snobbish.

“You’re gorgeous.”

“Huh?”

“Huh?” he mimicked, laughing.

“I will f*****g wipe my snot on your face.”

He grimaced as he stared at me, disgusted. “So pretty, yet so gross.”

“Deal with it, asshole.”

“Ah, and your vocabulary. I wonder why men fawned over you.”

I stared at him for a while, confused. Okay, I didn’t know where that came from. As far as I remember, the only man that has ever fawned over me was Raven, who was my ex.

Damn, I was never popular. I mean, I know I look good, but not as good as those sought-after women. No insecurities, though. I love myself.

But, what?

“Who the f**k fawned over a delinquent-looking girl like me? Must be someone who can’t see well.”

“That’s why I needed glasses,” he mumbled as he shook his head at me.

“What?”

“What?”

I tilted my head to the side, confused. “Did you say something?”

“I most certainly did not.”

“Too defensive.”

“Too dumb.”

I tried to pull his hair, but he caught my wrist while chuckling. He flicked my forehead and stared at me, a smile was slowly creeping up on his lips.

Meanwhile, I just looked away from him. That moment made me feel so vulnerable, and I refuse to acknowledge the fact that it was Alvarez who witnessed it.

There was a moment of silence between the two of us, probably because he was giving me some time to think things over before we talked. But I don’t think I’ll ever be able to express whatever it is I want to express. And it’s not like I want to anyway.

Alvarez shouldn’t even get a glimpse of my thoughts. It’s just…off-limits for him. If he talks to me in a mature way, I might not be able to recover anymore.

“Diaz,” he called. He must have realized that I had no plans to talk things over.

“Hmm?” I hummed in response.

“I won’t force you if you don’t want to talk about it.”

I looked back at him. “I am…having a hard time believing that.”

He chuckled. “I am, too. But you know, we can’t keep running away like that.”

I sighed. “I know.”

True enough, Alvarez didn’t force me to say anything anymore. Instead, he sat beside me and watched me as I stared at a page I was never really reading.

The silence was not as awkward as I had thought, but it was not enough for me. I wanted to own the comfortable air around us and make it our own. Because right now, it seems like nothing more than a part of the game of deceit we are playing.

I am certain that is what Alvarez thinks, at least based on how he reacted earlier. Ah, yes. I have figured it out after thinking it through. Ha, I was never that dumb.

I know now.

And I have no plans on talking to him about it.

Everything is falling into its rightful place already, especially after I have carried out a part of my plan. There is no way I’m letting these emotions disrupt the decisive flow of events.

“Hey, Alvarez,” I called.

“Hmm?” he responded, his tone giving him away.

He sounded…giddy. Well, isn’t that something I don’t get to witness every day…

I looked him in the eye, wondering if he was still acting or being truthful. Ah. Alas, I still can’t tell. The day I know what is going on behind those eyes is the day everything crumbles into nothingness…

“What is it?” he asked when I remained silent.

“Do you think we’ll ever catch the Levistes?”

“Oh…”

All I could do was offer him an apologetic look. I knew he would have been honest if we really talked about the things…we needed to discuss. But I don’t want that to happen.

Yes, I am a coward. And that is why I am diverting his attention to something else. Even when I knew he wouldn’t just forget about it, I just wanted to stop talking about it.

Right now, I’m thinking of it as something irrelevant to the future I am envisioning. And that is why I have to keep controlling myself.

“Mm-hmm…” He looked at the book in front of me. “I think we’ll catch them sooner or later, but that won’t end there.”

“Why do you think so?”

He looked at me. “I just know, Diaz. I just do.”

Alvarez’s face was just inches away from mine, and I wanted to reach for him. It was the only way I knew would be a good response because that was how it has always been.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked as he stared at my lips.

I chuckled. “You ask sweet s**t like that, but you devour me the moment you get a hold of me…” I replied as I gave him permission.

He let out a low chuckle as he held my nape and pulled me closer. As I had predicted, he completely devoured me without caring that someone might see us.

“Ahh, calm down…” I mumbled when he let go for a few seconds.

“I can’t…” he replied, his voice harsh.

Ah.

I bit his lower lip and tried to pull away for a while. “Alright, do what you want with me.”

“Why are you doing this to me?” he groaned, complaining.

As compensation. As an apology. Many things, to be honest.

I wanted to talk about it, that’s the truth. But I’m afraid there will be consequences I wouldn't want to face. And that is Alvarez himself.