As I lay alone in my room,There was a scent of an expensive cologne ,from the guy I spent the night with probably ,a tinge of cigar and beer too. My mind was a tumultuous sea of confusion, fear, and sadness. The events of the evening had left me reeling, and I struggled to make sense of it all. I couldn't shake the feeling of betrayal from the man who had entered my life so unexpectedly, nor could I quell the growing anxiety about the repercussions of his sudden appearance.
My thoughts were consumed by questions. Who was he, and why had he left without saying a word? Did he realize the trouble his actions had caused me? The tears flowed freely down my cheeks as I grappled with the weight of uncertainty and the fear of the unknown.
In the midst of my despair, I found myself taking stock of my own body. Has anything truly happened, or was I still untouched, innocent? The mere thought of the man's unwelcome touch filled me with a sense of revulsion and dread. If he had taken something so precious from me, he would undoubtedly ruin my life in ways I couldn't bear to imagine. The thought of facing my mother, of disappointing her in such a profound way, was almost too much to bear. I had never been her favorite daughter, and I often wondered if she even truly felt a maternal connection to me.
" Why can't I remember anything so my bachelorette party was meant to ruin my life? how am I going to get myself out of this? I am so worried I wish I had a clue who this man was, maybe he was not as intoxicated as I was , probably he would tell me what happened?" I shouted to no one.
But it wasn't only the impact on my own life that plagued my thoughts. I also couldn't shake the worry about Josh, my fiance. Would he still want me, still love me, and he already knew of the events of this night? He did not react well on the news that he had found me in the company of a stranger? And then there was Tamiya, my sister. Why had she orchestrated the circumstances that led to my fiance catching me in such a compromising situation? Did she truly have my best interests at heart, or was her love for me a facade, concealing a darker, more manipulative nature?
I couldn't help but wonder whether Tamiya's actions were driven by a genuine concern for my well-being or by a desire to exert power and control over me. The betrayal felt like a knife twisting in my heart, and I questioned whether I truly knew my sister at all. If she hadn't meddled in my life and forced this confrontation, would I have discovered her true intentions? It was a thought that left me feeling unmoored and unsettled.
As I lay in the darkness, my mind raced with worries and fears about the future. How would my parents cope with the fallout from this night's events? Our family had been on the brink of escaping poverty through my impending marriage, and now that dream felt shattered beyond repair. The weight of my family's hopes and dreams pressed down on me, leaving me suffocated by a sense of responsibility and guilt.
I felt like a ship adrift without a rudder, lost in a storm of emotions and uncertainty. The pain of this night ran deep, coursing through my veins and staining my soul with its bitter agony. I longed for solace, for a way to escape the crushing weight of it all, but there seemed to be no respite in sight.
I found no answers to the multitude of questions that plagued my thoughts. Each moment felt like an eternity, a never-ending cycle of doubts and fears that threatened to consume me whole. The darkness offered no refuge, and I yearned for a glimmer of hope to guide me through the storm that raged within me.
In the depth of my despair, a small voice rose within me, a flicker of resilience that refused to be extinguished. I couldn't let this night define me, couldn't allow the actions of others to dictate the course of my life. I had to find the strength to rise above the turmoil and chart a path forward, even in the face of overwhelming adversity.I told myself.
" I am just hopping that my parents are not going to scold me I just hope they're not going to blame me if all this does not work out,I wish there was a way I could change my situation to fit my solutions.
With a deep breath, I wiped my tears , I did not have time to look around and cry over spilt water. I do not know who the stranger was, and I don't know how my fiancee ended at the door of my room.
Why did we not go home after the party,we only live a few kilometres away? where was Tamiya when I booked myself to a room with a man ?, Did I follow him or did he grab and dragged me by force to this room.Where did we meet? ooh my head was going to break l cannot think anymore , I was beginning to get a migraine.
I promised myself, In the days to come, I would seek out the truth about the man who had intruded upon my life so unexpectedly. I would unravel the tangled web of lies and deceit that had brought me to this precipice, and I would reclaim the control over my own destiny.
I would also confront Tamiya and demand answers to the questions that tormented my thoughts. I needed to understand her motivations and the depth of her involvement in orchestrating the events of that fateful evening. Our relationship had been built on a foundation of trust, but now that trust lay shattered, and I yearned to piece it back together, or at the very least, to understand the reasons behind her actions.
As for Josh, my beloved fiance, I would face him with honesty and transparency. I would lay bare the events of that night and seek his understanding and forgiveness. I couldn't bear the thought of losing him, of seeing his love and devotion slip through my fingers like grains of sand. Our bond had been strong, and I was determined to fight for its survival, to prove that I was worthy of his love and trust even in the face of such adversity.
And so, with a newfound sense of determination, I rose from the depths of despair and embraced the uncertain future that lay ahead. The road would be difficult, the battles arduous, but I refused to be vanquished by the trials that lay in wait.I was only eighteen but I must figure everything out on my own ,I was sure nobody would care after all I was dumb and grumpy.
Each step forward was a testament to my resilience, a declaration of my refusal to be defined by the events of that night. I would carve out a new path, one of strength and conviction, and I would prove that the human spirit was capable of enduring even the darkest of nights.
As I reflect upon my past, memories of Tamiya, my father's favorite girl, flood my mind. Although Tamiya and I were not biological sisters, my father loved her dearly. Education was of utmost importance to him, and Tamiya excelled in her studies. Her love for books and learning captured our father's heart and admiration.
Recently, both Tamiya and I completed our education. While Tamiya had the opportunity to continue her studies, I found myself entwined in a different path, one that led to marriage with Josh. Quite frankly, this turn of events felt unfair. Tamiya was not superior to me in any way. In fact, all those exams she passed were actually taken by me. I had written them for her, solely to keep our father happy.
Our family's financial situation was not prosperous, and Tamiya's educational achievements served as a source of pride for my father. It was a semblance of hope within our humble lives. Yet, despite my efforts, my parents seemed to view me as a failure, destined only to become a housewife. Their disappointment in me perplexed me endlessly.I saw it even if I passed my father would come to my school and tell my teachers I cheated.
In the midst of my confusion, my father insisted, "Marry that wealthy man, Sarah, and our family will never be the same again. He loves you." Naivety clouded my judgment. I believed that fulfilling their wish and marrying Josh would finally bring about their happiness. After all, Josh and I had grown up together, and I had always been enamored by him. Marrying the man of my dreams seemed like a twist of fate, a favor bestowed upon me for my unwavering dedication to making my parents smile.
My wedding day was only two away , however, my doubts grew stronger. Was this the right decision for me? Was I surrendering my own dreams and ambitions simply to please others? The weight of societal expectations bore heavily on my shoulders, and a sense of restlessness consumed me.
I lay back on my bed , and touched my thighs, I could feel pain like I had engaged in a very rigorous action. My conscience told me to touch my between. I stretched my hands and touched my petals ,they were kind of swollen and they felt sore.
" He could not enter me without my permission right,?" Maybe he was only rubbing his fingers on me, or probably he was sucking me?" I was in denial , I did not want to agree that ,something had really happened,that would take me to the hospital directly.yes I would faint.
I pushed my thoughts at the back of my mind I took my phone and checked it out. There were a lot of text messages and calls from Josh and my parents.
I scrolled down but I never saw any call from my Sister Tamiya, I thought if I were missing she was supposed to be the first person to know, then call me to know my whereabouts . But no Tamiya only called for a Josh ,so he could catch me red handed or so I thought.
But where the other friends of mine were, where was Rachael? , where was Maime?. I was not alone, how comes nobody was ready to save me that is if I got too drunk of which it's not like me, I am not that girl that forgets herself , I am not that girl who goes after a man?, I am not that girl that goes to sleep with any man when I know that my wedding is on in two weeks time. so what exactly happened?I wanted to move on but a million questions kept erupting every now and then It was time to face Tamiya and then the others later.