Prologue
836 Words
PROLOGUE
Life was good to me.
I was living an easy life because I got what everyone wants in this world. I’m handsome, I got a great body, I’m damn smart and I am hella f*****g rich.
It was easy for me to get whatever I want. Lalo na kung usapang babae. I never needed to chase down a woman. Women come to me. Although I was never the type to play around. Even though I’ve never fallen in love before, I’m the type to take relationships seriously. That’s also why I’ve only had very few relationships.
And the last one was from a long time ago now. The last one ended cause the woman said I didn’t really love her, and that I only committed because I liked the s*x. Well yes, probably. At least I still committed and didn’t cheat right?
Hindi ko mapigilang isipin minsan, was that so wrong? They want a relationship with me, be it physical or emotional, and I give it. Then they will say to me that I ain’t in love with them.
I used to think that in a relationship, love isn’t always necessary… that it can still work out as long as the two parties are in understanding and has respect for each other.
It all changed when I met my match.
After Jade, I thought I could go back to my usual self again. I was in f*****g pain for months that it numbed me somehow. I wanted to go back to my usual, careless self. Back to the guy who never needed the romantic feelings to keep a relationship…
When I accepted her father’s proposal, I really though it would be damn easy.
So, how come it f*****g hurts like a b***h now? How come I can’t f*****g stay sane just thinking she would leave me again? f**k…
I don’t know anymore if I could take it if she leaves me again.
I f*****g fell… deep and hard. If I was able get up the first time I fell, damn, for this one I don’t think I can.
“Baby, don’t leave please… forgive me please… Baby, I’m begging you…” I wrapped my arms around her in hopes of stopping her from leaving me.
She’s leaving me again… Hindi ko kakayanin kung mawawala siyang muli sa akin…
“Just let me go, Philip! Let me go! Parang awa mo na! Hindi ko na kaya!” She cried out as she tried to break free from my embrace. Her voice broke and it felt like my heart f*****g broke too.
I was begging her to stay… while she’s begging me to let her leave… Tangina. Hindi ko kaya…
“Babe, we can still work this out… I’ll fix this… I’ll fix us… please… don’t leave… babe, don’t go…”
“Wala na… hindi na maaayos to! Wala na eh! Wala na siya! Wala na… wala na… di na maibabalik… kahit anong gawin mo… wala ka nang magagawa…” She cried out, her voice shaking as her body did too. She buried her face on her hands as she cried so hard.
My tears fell as I held her. I buried my face on the crook of her neck. I love her so f*****g much. I didn’t mean to hurt her… hell I would never do that on purpose… but I messed up… I f*****g messed up and now she wants to leave me again.
Hindi na ba talaga maaayos? I know I can’t bring back what we lost… but baby, I’ll make up for all my mistakes… just don’t leave me please…
“You should’ve let me go noon pa… sana… sana… sana hindi tayo umabot sa ganito… you’re f*****g selfish, Philip!!! Ang selfish mo!!! Kaya don’t beg for me now! I will not change my mind this time! Ayoko na! I don’t wanna be with you anymore!”
Slowly, my hold on her loosened. Her words f*****g hurt that I almost lost my strength. It felt as if my energy was drained from me… as if my life was taken from me.
“Please... Don't go. Don't leave me again. Alex, maha—” Before I could finish my words, she gave me a hard slap. She sobbed and cried harder. Baby, hit me… if hitting me will make your pain go away hit me more… if hurting me back will make you stay then hit me a hundred times more...
“Sinungaling!! Don’t you f*****g tell me you love me because you never did! Hanggang ngayon siya pa din! You just used me! You f*****g used me! So don’t give me that s**t now! You don’t f*****g choose someone else over the woman you love, Philip! And that’s what you did! Siya ang pinili mo! Kaya tapos na tayo!”
She walked away from me.
I couldn't find the courage to run after her. She hates me so much and it is all my fault. I was stupid. I hurt her.
And now as she slowly disappears from my sight, I could feel my heart breaking. I could feel my breath hitching. I could feel life slowly being taken away from me.
My love. My heart. My life.
My everything left me and now I just feel so lifeless...
- Writer
