Prologue
2771 Words
“Hmm…” I moaned as I felt his lips on my neck, sucking a sensitive spot that turns me on in a crazy way.
I held onto his head, clutching and fisting on his hair while I tipped my head to the side to give him better access to my neck.
“Kino,” I called his name, eyes closed, feeling every single movement of his lips on my bare skin. I hugged his head tighter and with every inch the movement of his lips go, I feel like I am floating in the air.
His lips are taking me to a whole new level of high making me afraid to open my eyes because I don’t want the feeling of falling down. But maybe that’s the whole point of this.
He lifted his head and kissed me up to my jaw. He licked it up to my earlobe before chuckling weakly. “I need to be inside you,” he whispered sensually, sending shivers that go all the way up to my spine.
Oh, god! How good does that make me feel? I love it when he whispers to me sensually. I love it when he talks dirty in a soft whisper. God! Kino is probably going to be the end of me.
“Please,” I begged as I arched my back, telling him that he could go and do whatever he wants. I am willing to receive whatever he wants.
That’s how far I would go for him.
He crashed his lips on mine, kissing me hard like he’s never kissed me before. I continued rummaging his hair while he delved his tongue inside my mouth, tasting all of me.
I moaned. I grunted. I was extremely turned on and even exceeded the limit when I felt him palming my breast, kneading it until he was very much satisfied. But I’m not. I can never be satisfied by this. I need more.
And I know that he knows it because it’s exactly what he needs, too.
“Kino, please…” I mumbled against his lips and he nodded.
His kisses trailed down my jaw down to my neck until I felt his tongue latching on my n****e. He bit it lightly while I moaned out loud, encouraging him to do me more because this is not enough.
So when his hand went to the inside of my thigh, I could not help but feel immense excitement. When his fingers touched the rough fabric of my panties, I moaned even louder without giving a f**k. No one could hear us anyway. He’s alone in the house.
He chuckled as he moved on to my other breast, doing the same thing to it as he did to the other.
“Kino, please…”
How many times do I have to beg for him to do me the way I wanted him to? He told me he wanted to be inside me so why doesn’t he do that? I need him. f**k, I have never needed him more than how much I need him now.
“Please take it off,” I told him, pertaining to my panties that’s the only article of clothing I have right now.
He chuckled as his lips went to my neck. “You’re too needy tonight,” he whispered against my skin. “Is it almost the time of the month?”
I took all the strength I have to open my eyes and the first thing I saw was his dark brown orbs, looking down at me like he has the intention to get me lost in them. But I already am. I already have fallen in love with him even though I know that this will never work.
The thought of him not feeling the same way for me annoyed my entire system. And that was my cue to take action. The will to shrug that thought off overpowered all the emotions I have in my system.
I pushed him off me and tackled him. He narrowed his eyes as I hovered on top of him, both my knees on either side of his waist. I placed my palms on his chest and I smirked. I went lower and removed his boxers before removing my panties.
I stared at his erected member and cupped it with my palm. He grunted with the mere contact. And when I started moving my hand up and down, he was moaning. He leaned on his elbows with his head back, eyes closed while biting his lower lip.
“Is this good enough for you?” I asked him, teasing him now that I feel like I have the upper hand. “Or do you want me to—”
He cut me off when he grabbed my hand and pulled me on the bed. He swiftly drifted on top of me, locking me in between his strong arms. “Do you think you can do that to me now?” he asked in a dangerous tone. His eyes were on mine, blazing with the fire of lust and pleasure. “Baby, I’m still the captain in bed. Remember that.”
I swallowed hard as he hooked his arms behind my knees, stretching me out wider than ever. I gasped, especially when I felt him rubbing his member against my needy core.
He smirked when he saw my expression. He must have felt his victory once more especially since I am so turned on with what he’s doing. “You like that?” he asked in a seductive voice as he continued to rub himself against me.
I moaned. Groaned. I don’t care anymore. All I know is that he’s teasing me and prolonging my agony. If he just puts in all in, I would be very happy and satisfied. And so would he.
“Kino, just f**k me,” I told him as I cupped his face and pulled him so closer so I could kiss him and show him how much I wanted him right now. “Please f**k me now,” I mumbled against his lips before kissing him with all my might.
I don’t even remember a time where I kissed him this much. But then I have never wanted him this much before. I wanted him to show me that he needs me. Not someone else. Me. And I hope he could. I pray he could.
I gasped when I felt the head of his member poking my entrance. He took that chance to delve his tongue into my mouth, making me cede victory for dominance. I moaned against his mouth as I could feel him entering me so slowly, leaving me with so much torture to deal with.
“Hard,” I moaned and I don’t know if he understood that because he was busy owning my small cavern. I pushed him slightly, breaking the contact of our lips, before looking him into the eyes. “f**k me hard,” I ordered. I want him to take me like I am the only woman in the world for him. I want him to take me like he wouldn’t care about anyone but me.
If that’s even possible.
“Baby, you’re not going to like it when I do you hard,” he whispered upon filling me to the brim.
I shook my head. He’s done that before but I don’t know if that’s the hardest he could get. I want more. That’s for sure. “Please, Kino…” I begged for the nth time. And I would keep begging if I have to just so he could give me what I wanted.
I looked at him in the face that is filled with intense desire and pleasure. His jaw clenched tightly upon hearing my request. His eyes turned darker and more intense as he stretched my legs wider and started pumping in and out of me hard and fast.
He didn’t even ask if it hurts. It doesn’t hurt. It actually feels so good.
“Is this hard enough for you?” he asked me while not slowing down. He goes to the gym and works out intensely every single night so I have no doubt about how strong his stamina is. And besides, we f**k for a whole night. He doesn’t get tired easily.
I bit my lip, trying to stop myself from screaming because of the emotions he is making me. “H-harder…” I was almost out of breath.
I heard him let out a low growl before even increasing his pace. He pounded on me harder until my head was already against the headboard. He took a pillow and placed it between my head and the board so I wouldn’t continuously hit it and get hurt because of the impact of his thrusts.
I hugged him, nails scratching his back while he showed me what f*****g really means. He dipped down and kissed me while he kept moving at an incredible speed. He bit my lip and sucked it before kissing me senseless.
“Kino…” I moaned against his lips while I could feel knots forming from deep within. “s**t!” I cursed out loud when I could feel orgasm taking over my whole system.
“f**k, Henney!” he moaned and I suddenly fell from a huge height.
I fell. Hundred miles per second. Crashing on the ground with my bones breaking. Only this time, it’s not my bones. But my heart.
When he realized what he said, he stopped. And looked at me. Eyes filled with apology against my eyes slowly getting pooled with tears.
I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe.
How could he say someone else’s name while having s*x with me?
“Denise, I’m sorry…” he whispered as he tried to kiss me but I looked away. I could feel my heart breaking into fragments. And I wish that he could feel it too.
From the first time that I knew him, I know that he would still be wrapped around his wife. She still has power over him. I knew that and still took a shot because I thought he could still love someone else. But I guess I’m wrong.
“Don’t…” I uttered, swallowing a lump in my throat. “Don’t be sorry,” I said, this time, clearer and with more force. “Just…fucking finish so I could go home.”
He called my name again. Denise. He knows my name. He calls my name every time we come. So why would he utter another person’s name now? I don’t get it. We have been f*****g for months. I let him take my whole being for months. Hasn’t he developed feelings for me yet?
Am I really unlovable? Am I really not meant to be with someone else? Do I really have to be alone for the rest of my life?
He buried his face on the nook of my neck while he started thrusting again. Painful. That’s the only thing to describe it. Not painful physically but painful emotionally.
I feel like I am getting torn apart in two. And then each piece of me gets broken apart into tiny little pieces—pieces impossible to be completed again. I’m turned into grains. A nobody. A nothing.
“I’m sorry…” he kept repeating those two words until both of us shuddered and came inside me.
I was panting. But that’s because of the excruciating pain in my heart. I pushed him off me and grabbed my clothes laying on the floor.
“Denise,” he called me but I didn’t look at him.
When I got all my things, I got changed. How could someone become the high and the low for you at the same time? I don’t know. All I know is that I needed to get out of here and not see his face again. I am done mending someone else’s broken heart by breaking my own.
This is a big blow to me. I can’t make him move on if he doesn’t want to do that in the first place.
“Baby,” he called me, following me to the living room. He hugged me from the back and buried his face in my hair.
I shook my head. Now, the touch that makes me only breaks me apart. “I need space,” I told him, proud of myself that my voice didn’t break and show any weakness. “I need to go.” I tried to get out of his grip but his strong arms wouldn’t let me.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered.
I swallowed hard before shaking my head. “You don’t have to apologize for something you can’t control,” I told him. “You still love your dead wife. It’s okay.” I couldn’t stop the bitterness and pain in my voice.
“Denise, please…” he begged, hugging me even tighter. “I don’t want you to leave me.”
I smiled weakly. Those words would have made it all alright. But now, it’s not. It just doesn’t ring the same good bell to me anymore. “You don’t want me to leave you because you would be bored without me.” I hate downgrading myself.
Julia already told me this before. I am not going to be fully happy with someone who couldn’t leave the ghost of the past behind. And I wish I didn’t intentionally ignore her warning.
“No, no, that’s not true…” He shook his head.
I took a deep breath and forced myself out of his grip to look at him. Tears are all over his face while looking at me with sorrow. I bit my lip and cupped his face, wiping his tears away just like how I wanted to wash away the things that are keeping him from moving on and living his life in genuine happiness.
“It could be me or not,” I started, faking a smile. “But I wish you genuine happiness, Kino. You are a good person and I know that you will find the right person for you…” I trailed as I swallowed my tears. “But right now, it’s just not right for me to be with you. I value myself, Kino. And I know that I don’t deserve someone who can’t value me the same way that I do…” It’s hard. This is probably the hardest thing I have to do. “Thank you for everything but I can’t do this with you anymore. Not when my love for you consumes me. Not when I love you so much that I’d forget myself and my principles just to be with you.”
He shook his head. “No, Denise. Please don’t leave me, too…” he whispered, begging.
I smiled weakly. “I’m not leaving you,” I told him. “I’m letting you go, Kino Sloane. I’m letting you go for you to be able to find yourself. I’m letting you go for you to be able to find happiness in yourself.” My heart is breaking while I stared into his face. “I hope that the next time we meet if we ever meet again, you would be a different Kino Sloane than what you are now. You need to find your real strength and genuine happiness on your own. I wish for you to be strong and happy not the weak version I am looking at right now.” I smiled for the last time. “Goodbye, Mr. Sloane.”
- Writer
