forbidden desires

chapter 32

chase.

I'd seen Dalton's post that he was on the water and I wasn't doing anything other than sitting at home stressing myself out so I figured maybe I'd go over and see if he caught anything I mean I miss my friend if I'm being honest and I don't really know how to get back into his life. he's been doing great for himself, he enjoyed his job and I knew from mama there was talks of a promotion for him within the next year. he'd even been helping the football team with plays and the baseball team with their batting.

I didn't want to fight with him but I also didn't know how to handle the fact that he maybe with the one girl that I am crazy about.

when I pulled up he was carrying a cooler around back and I hopped grabbing a side

" hey man what are you up to?"

" just saw you went fishing came to see if you'd caught anything"

he chuckled as we set the cooler down next to the wooden table

" man this is nice"

I ran my hand over it

" thank you alot of blood went into that one."

I raised a brow at him and he shrugged

" been working a little with wood trying out some things. thinking of a picnic table next with my last name on it don't know yet"

I nodded damn he was good.

he opened the cooler and I saw the few fish and a bigger one

" well at least you ended up with one big one"

he shook his head smiling a bit

" uh actually Ashley caught that one"

my eyes went wide. they'd been together? on the boat? was she still here? I thought back if I'd seen her little car and I think maybe one the street I wasn't sure.

" well damn looks like a good day"

he started cleaning them

" she's still here chase. cooking something for her culinary class"

I nodded hurting because that was supposed to be me, I was supposed to be the one who tasted her food. I was supposed to be the one fishing with her"

he looked at me and I sighed

" well hopefully fish soon yeah?"

he nodded and went back to cleaning the fish. I just sort of watched as he did until he was done and cleaned his hands lighting a smoke. I wonder how she felt about that. did she kiss him and taste it? did she like it?

" so heard anything else new?"

he asked and I leaned back with him again the now clean table, his shirt was still off and I noticed a new tattoo

" she called earlier said she has an appt for Wednesday so I guess I'm gonna cancel work outs and go. I really just need to know"

he nodded

" how'd your mama feel about all this?"

I looked at him wanting to laugh at her reaction but I knew it wasn't funny

" you ever think of going back up north and telling your mama you knocked up a girl who has been around the block a few times?"

he shook his head chuckling

" yeah and my ass would be working on the farm day and night until she was done being mad at me."

I nodded

" yeah well we don't have a farm so mama is just sort of keeping her distance at the moment I think she is like me and wants to know before letting it sink in"

he nodded and I watched as Ashley came out his back door holding her cup and a beer. I knew that beer was for him. I watched when she saw me she paused for a minute then she smiled and started back

" do not act an ass"

Dalton gritted out and I nodded

" hey guys I just came to see if you'd been eating by a fish or something"

she joked with him handing him his beer which he took with a smile

" nope just talking with Chase about the big one s caught"

she glared at him pushing his shoulder

" he didn't catch it I did!"

she had a smile on her face I don't even think I'd seen before

" so he got out fished on his own boat"

she giggled

" that he did and he's a sore loser at that too"

I chuckled

I watched as the two shared a look and I felt they they were talking with their eyes. I wanted to scream and yell but I didn't I cleared my throat.

pointing to the tattoo that was running down her thigh, it definitely hadn't gone unnoticed by me.

" that's new"

she lifted the shirt a bit and I knew it went higher than she was showing

" yeah now I think I may be addicted I'm needed another one"

chase chuckled

" let me know sweet cheeks and we will make a day of it I'll get you tipsy again and we can cause all kinds of trouble"

she smiled at him biting her lip

" what if I don't know what I want?"

he shrugged

" it's half the fun think I knew I wanted all this?"

she smiled shrugging

" I went in and got the massive eagle. the rest was just sort of worked on when I felt I wanted another and then I ended with the flag wrapping around here because I felt that was a good ending and well I was out of space "

he said pointing along his tattooed arm and she watched him closely. I wanted to drag her inside and away from him I wanted her to look at me the way she's looking at him right now

" well maybe something a little smaller than all that "

he smiled at her

" we will figure it out "

Dalton.

man I'd enjoyed the day with her and the kiss f**k that kiss was amazing.

I'd been a smoker for so long but now I felt like I really needed to ask her how she felt about that I didn't want to be turning her away by it.

I hadn't ever really sang in front of anyone but my mama, but holding her hand in my truck while she had my shirt on her skin sun kissed I just let it come out softly.

I was surprised when I see chase come up I didn't know how this would end. I didn't want to fight with him and I didn't want him to make her feel like what we were doing was wrong.

when I watched her walk out in my tee bringing me a beer I felt like I was on top of the world.

there was a moment she had looked at me and I knew she was asking if things were okay. I don't know if she understood my small smile and nod or not but she just looked at me for a moment longer nodding and the conversation went from there.

" this table is beautiful where did you get it?"

I felt my ears turn red

" I made it"

she looked up at me with wide eyes.

" D this is simply amazing"

she gushed running her hand over the smooth top

" it's just a hobby nothing crazy"

she raised a brow at me

" you are insane if you don't see how good this is

chase isn't this beautiful"

I looked at chase and I could tell he was uncomfortable his arms were folded and his jaw clenched

" yeah I told him how great it was. said he's thinking of a picnic table next"

was his reply and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding.

" well I've gotta go check the chicken and start on the sides. let me know if you are staying so I know how many plates to make presentable"

she turned looking at me

" you want another when I come back?"

I winked and she smiled walking off.

" make presentable?"

chase asked beside me

" uh yeah something to do with class I'm not allowed to touch it until she says"

he scratched the back of his neck

" I think I'm gonna head out. I've got a lot to catch up on Around the house"

I nodded sipping my beer

" well don't be a stranger and well I guess good luck next week"

he nodded

" yeah man you too. or I don't know. you know what I mean. just I'll see you later"

he stuttered out and I shook my head as he walked away. I knew he was confused about what was happening with Ashley and I and at the moment I didn't know what was going on either so I didn't have anything to tell him.

I walked into my house to find her moving around my kitchen like she owned the place. her hips swaying to the music as she did and I realized it was the song I'd sang in the truck.

I set my beer down and grabbed her hand spinning her to me making her gasp in surprise as I began to move us around my kitchen.

she smiled up at me her hands resting around my neck

" can you sing it again"

she whispered

" it must have been the roses and the wine..."

I sang looking into her eyes as we danced.

when it was over I dipped her bringing her back up to my body and placed a small kiss along her lips.

I felt her sigh out as I did.

the timer going off making her jump in surprise and I chuckled

" okay so hopefully it stayed pretty in the oven fingers crossed"

I nodded crossing my fingers in the air as she giggled at me.

I watched her as she pulled it out of the oven doing a happy dance.

she then looked at me

" he left didn't be?"

I nodded and she sighed shaking her head

I grabbed her hand and pulled her to me a bit

" I have no idea what's going on between us or what you want. but I don't want you to be feeling bad and I definitely don't want to cause you any stress. but honestly I don't think we need to be trying even figure it out of there are still feelings "

she nodded biting her lip

" my heads just sort of crazy right now. I hate what he did to me. but I also hate that he's going to a tough time. I do care for him, but I'm not sure if it's because I spent so much time with him or because I'm not over him. he knows things about me that I haven't ever told anyone else and I just don't even know how to begin to tell you those things because you make me feel so different. you make me feel I don't know how to explain it and I'm worried things will change when I do tell you "

Ashley.

it felt good getting that off my chest. because it's the truth he makes my heart flutter and he does things like dancing me around this kitchen singing to me that make me swoon for him but I'm so worried if we have this a go it'd ruin his friendship and I don't want that for him.

I also don't know if I could even bring myself to tell him the naughty side of me because I'm scared it will change the way he looks at me. I mean sometimes when I see him looking at me I think he sees the sweet woman and I don't want to mess that up I like that look, I feel like it's a look of admiration.

he smiled down at me.

" well we can just keep things how they are until you figure them out there isn't a rush sweet cheeks this isn't a race."

I sighed out resting my head on his chest he wasn't mad at me.

" thank you"

he raised my chin to look at him

" just gotta let me know when I have shot okay when you finally know what you want because I'll be here but I can't read your mind"

I smiled at him and grabbed his hand kissing the inside of it

" you will be the first to know"

he raised a brow

" I'm hoping I'm the only one on that list lady"

I giggled

" maybe. maybe not"

I shrugged turning to get the food plated and he came behind me resting his hands on either side of the bar

" I'm all for games but once you agree to be mine there won't be any going back. there will only be me."

he whispered next to my ear his beard brushing along it lightly as he spoke. my eyes closed at his closeness. but he pulled away chuckling and I snapped my eyes open glaring at him he knew what he'd down to me.

" ass"

" yes you do have a fine ass babes "

I rolled my eyes and began plating the food. I was happy things with him were easy we could go from serious to playful and I knew we're I stood with him now I just needed to see if I was actually over chase Because I definitely didn't want to hurt Dalton.

I took a picture of the plates and I was happy how it turned out, I had a good feeling out this and I hoped my dessert came out just as nice this week. now fingers crossed it taste good.

" okay now can I eat I'm am a growing boy here"

I laughed at him

" yes now we can eat"

I'd made the sauce on the chicken was homemade and I done a small salad and garlic bread with my own garlic spread on it.

I waited to eat until he tried it I wanted to see his reaction. at his first bite his eyes lite up

" that is damn good! that didn't come out of a jar did it?"

I shook my head blushing as he went in for another bite.

we sat and ate and he seemed either really hungry or it was really that good.

he finished his plate and took them to the kitchen

" you know you should just stay tonight"

he said over his shoulder and I froze

" you sure that's a good idea D?"

he flashed me a smile while rinsing the dishes

" I'll be on my best behavior promise and it isn't like we haven't shared a bed but if it makes you uncomfortable I can take the couch"

I thought and I guess it really wasn't any different.

" you've been drinking all day sweet cheeks I hate to let you drive like this "

I bit my lip sighing out

" you have a point and I brought clothes to change into after the lake but just never did. I'll just need something to sleep in"

he turned crossing his arms over his chest smirking at me

" well since you've already claimed one shirt I guess another wouldn't hurt"

I giggled

we cleaned up the kitchen together then he got my bag from my car pulling it into his driveway now that he had the boat put up. when he came back in he started the shower for me and I felt my heart race as he passed by me to leave his front brushing past me as he walked out

" I'll leave a shirt on the bed I'm gonna go out for a smoke"

I nodded my voice was gone at the moment and he closed the door on his way out.

I sighed out before I got in the shower. the hot water felt nice against my sun kissed skin.

once I was out and in his shirt and panties I blushed as he walked in seeing me. he smiled at me

" I like it a lot better on you"

I just smiled as he gathered his things to go shower.

I made myself comfortable in his massive bed and I wondered why he had such a big bed. although it was definitely comfortable.

he came out drying his shaggy hair water dripping down. he has on sweats and they were hanging off his hips really low I saw the top of a tattoo and I wondered where the rest of it went.

he smirked at me

" so am I taking the couch or?"

I shook my head swallowing my drool

" we've shared a bed before just no funny business"

he chuckled getting in

" thank goodness because my bed might be my favorite place "

we got comfortable and I was on my side facing him and him on his side facing me. he reached out and grabbed my hand kissing it

" no rush okay. figure things out is all I'm asking because I am a man and I know for sure I want my chance"

I nodded kissing his hand lightly.

I was just about asleep after such a busy day.

I guess he thought I was asleep because I felt him reach out with the other hand and brush some hair from my face

" damn Ashley I wish I could explain the way you make me feel. I think you always have but I would never come between the two of you if that's what you truly want. the selfish part of me hopes you choose me. hopes you feel the same way. I want a chance to show you how amazing you are, I want the chance to call you mine and show you I wouldn't mess this up if got it."

he whispered out sighing deeply

" hell I wanna bring you home and introduce you to mama. that's something I've never done. she'd love you, I think you may remind me some of her.

dad, well he wouldn't believe me if I told him I'd settled down over the phone. he'd have to see it for his own eyes but I know once he saw me with you he'd see I was serious.

I just hope to get the chance. but I will be here waiting and I will always be your friend if that's what you choose "

I felt his lips gently kiss my head before he settled back down beside me he pulled my hand into his chest and I could feel his heart beating fast.

I let his words sink in as a dozed off.

chase.

it was so hard seeing them together even if they weren't officially together. I laid on my couch thinking everything through I knew I needed answers from Angie before I could even figure out what to do. would I try to get her back again or would I just sit back and let them be happy?

I honestly didn't know right now because I was so jealous so angry at him and myself really.

I was scrolling through f*******: when I found her post and I wished I hadn't.

she looked so damn happy and I hated that it wasn't me making her happy.

her smile as she held up the fish was contagious. and that tattoo damn it did go all the way up like I'd thought and the thought of them getting tattoos together pissed me off and she as talking of getting more. I didn't know how I felt about that ber body was perfect without it and I knew he was covered I didn't want her to do that to herself.

I then landed on one it was just his back and the way the sun shinned I you couldn't actual make out his huge sunset he had on across his shoulder blades but I knew it was him. I knew it was his back and his backwards cap on his head with the college logo on it. he had the fishing pole in one hand and a cigarette holding a beer in the other.

the petty side of me hope she hated him smoking.

the comments weren't any better and she hadn't said anything back just reacted to a few

my sister commented

- oh I know exactly whose back they is ma'am -

her friends commenting how happy she looked and how good she looked.

a few asking who the mystery guy was.

her aunt commented

- enjoy your life but don't live it with regrets -

I didn't know if that meant me or her being with Dalton? and at the very bottom he commented

- fishing definitely looks good on you. I hope you had an amazing day -

he didn't actually say he was with her so maybe they weren't together yet, or maybe they were keeping things on the down low. I didn't know but I was going crazy sitting here trying to figure it out that's for sure.