Havoc

3 - I searched for you

Havoc

Wynter looks at me while biting her lower lip.

“I searched for you for weeks, Wynter. Nowhere I went led me to you. I bugged the hell out of Cassie, repeatedly asking her where you were. Every time I asked, she said she didn’t know where you were.”

I scoff.

“I didn’t believe her, and why would I? You two were as thick as thieves. Eventually, Cassie said you’d been in touch but wouldn’t tell her where you were. She told you said you didn’t want to see me again.”

“I’m sorry,” Wynter whispers. “I let my insecurities about the past rule my head. I just needed time to think about things.”

I nod. “I get that, but did you once think about what losing you did to me?” She shakes her head. “It almost killed me, Wynter. It didn’t matter that we hadn’t known each other for long; you were the love of my life, and I couldn’t cope without you.”

Wynter’s chin wobbles with emotion. I’m not trying to hurt her; just make her understand that she hurt me when she left. Though I understand why, knowing she’s the daughter of a monster must frighten her when it comes to forming relationships. Knowing people have turned her away repeatedly because of it kills me. But I would never have done that. I wish she could have trusted me.

“Whatever is going on right now, I want to help you, Wynter. I love you. I have loved you from the moment I met you, and I want you safe.”

Tears first cloud her eyes, then fall from them. “No, you don’t.” She shakes her head, but I nod mine.

I cup her face. “You know, deep down, that I do. I asked you to marry me because I fell in love with you. You said yes because you fell in love with me, and I never doubted that, Wynter.

“You told me your most painful memories, and you took my moment’s silence, my moment of shock as pushing you away. You thought that I was judging you for your father’s sins and that I’d instantly fallen out of love with you, didn’t you?”

She nods her head in honesty. It crushes me to know that’s how she felt.

When Wynter walked away from me that day, I thought she’d go for a walk, clear her head, and then she’d come back to me. We’d only been married a few weeks, and yes, we did it secretly.

Why did we do it in secret?

Leaving not only my family but the MC out of it?

Because it was spontaneous, reckless, and what Wynter and I wanted. We hadn’t known each other for long. But when you know, you know.

I was about to show my whole family how proud I was of my beautiful wife. I’d kept her to myself for long enough. But Wynter never returned, and I thought something terrible had happened to her.

I was angry with her the first couple days after she left. I thought Wynter was trying to punish me. Then the anger turned to fear, and I searched everywhere for her, but my search was fruitless.

A few days after Wynter left me, I came clean to my parents and told them about Wynter and I. Strangely, they understood why we got married the way we did. Mom even found the whole thing romantic. However, she didn’t find my struggle to cope without Wynter anything but heartbreaking.

I had no choice but to move on with my life without Wynter, but here we are five months later, and I still can’t seem to make my eyes believe what I’m seeing. Having her in front of me right now is so surreal. My gut always told me that she was alive out there, but it never stopped me from wondering if she could be dead.

After feeling so much for all these months, wishing she’d come back to me, and I finally have her. If she thinks, for one second, that I’m going to let her walk away from me again without a fight, then Wynter is sadly mistaken.

I tuck her white-blonde hair behind her ear. “I know why you find it hard to trust, but you can trust me, Wynter. Of every person in the world that you know, trust me, beautiful.”

“I want to,” She sucks back her emotions. “I want to trust you so badly, Havoc, but I’m scared. All my life, I have been let down and tossed aside. I never had anyone to take care of me; I was the one always taking care of others. I didn’t mean to distrust you, but the past took over my mind, and I ran.” She sobs again.

I pull her into my arms. She doesn’t protest, and I hold her against me, kissing her head and telling her that everything will be okay. I don’t have a damn clue at this point if it really will be, but I’ll do my darndest to make sure it is.

I am many things; I didn’t get the name Havoc from nowhere. However, I was raised to know that a man should never hurt a woman. My dad taught me to protect those who need protecting but to never underestimate a woman because she’s stronger than a man realizes. I don’t underestimate Wynter; far from it. But she is my wife, and I’ll do anything I can to protect her from harm.

Wynter is partially deaf in one ear and entirely deaf in the other. She wears a hearing aid in her left ear, but you wouldn’t know she had any problems looking at her. There’s certainly nothing wrong with her lungs; the girl sure can yell with the best of them.

I realized Wynter was deaf right away; she didn’t respond to anything I said. Of course, at first, I thought she was just being ignorant and that she didn’t want to know me. Not every woman is comfortable around bikers. However, as soon as I caught her attention, I knew. I signed to her – I knew how because of VJ’s wife, Chloe – and Wynter smiled excitedly.

Her deafness didn’t put me off asking her out, and it didn’t stop me from falling in love with her.

Why the hell would it?

Wynter told me how she was born with limited hearing, and she knew no different. Though she worked hard to learn to speak like everyone else, it was no picnic. She expressed how difficult it had been growing up, unable to hear the way others had. Her father was particularly cruel, and he often called Wynter defective.

Son of a bitc.h!

Wynter told me how her mother spent her free time teaching Wynter how to speak. She wanted to prove to Wynter’s father that their daughter was just like everyone else. During her childhood, Wynter couldn’t form certain words and sounded sluggish. Even though Wynter worked hard to prove herself to the one man she should never have to, it was never good enough.

I can’t believe any father would be so damn cruel to his own child!

There are still times when Wynter finds speaking difficult. Not every word is easy for her to form and be understood, and yes, sometimes, my wife can sound deaf – if that’s even the right way to explain it. She used sign language on those days because it was easier for her. Aside from those words she can’t say without sounding deaf when Wynter does talk, she’s easily understandable. Her mother did a fantastic job in teaching her how.

I remember leaning in and cupping Wynter’s cheek. I told her how perfect she was, and even if she could neither hear nor speak, I’d still want her the way I did. The smile she gave me will be etched into my brain all my life.

I may have lost Wynter there for a while, but I’m never letting her go again. I don’t care what I must do; I’ll do it. I need to find those assholes chasing her. I want to know what the hell they want with my wife, and soon.

“I know how strong you are, Wynter. I would never take that away from you. But you need looking after for a while. Let me take care of you. Please.”

Wynter nods against me without saying anything. That’s good enough for me.

“Why don’t you go and freshen up? I’ll wait here for you.”

Wynter nods and pulls away from me. “Would it be okay if I showered? I feel dirty.”

She shouldn’t feel the need to ask her husband if it’s okay to use the shower; this house is Wynter’s home, too. “Baby, you don’t need to ask. This is your home.”

She nods slightly and leaves the room.

I put in a call to Jett, and I told him everything that happened today. He said he’d send VJ and a couple of the others over to my place to talk to Wynter. Christ knows why he thinks that would be a good idea. VJ isn’t the most compassionate of people at the best of times.

I don’t know what good Jett thinks this is going to do. I didn’t call him so that he could send anyone over to talk to my wife; I called him for advice. However, beggars can’t be choosers, as they say.

Wynter walks into the den with her lower lip between her teeth. She’s nervous, and I can’t blame her for that. She doesn’t fully trust me yet, but she will. If it’s the last thing I do, I’ll have my wife trusting every damn thing I say.

She’s changed into a clean pair of black leggings and a long-sleeved, forest-green shirt. She’s washed her hair, I can tell because it’s still wet and braided it down her back. I can smell Wynter’s perfume from here, and I have to force my eyes to stay open. That smell is one I’ll never forget because it’s the scent that first ensnared me.

I have missed you so much, baby girl. Now that you’re home with me, I won’t stop until you stay this time.