The Broken Soldier

Four

Marley

"Marley, do you need anything?"

I smile softly "No I'm fine, Dad. Go get some rest please." My dad has been up since I got home from the hospital and that was almost a day and a half ago. He finally agrees and heads downstairs yawning. I think the only reason he is actually going to sleep is because Zach is right across the hall and keeping an eye on me.

I can't say I'm mad about Zach telling my dad because I was tired of being hit all the time. I just needed someone to take the place of my battered voice and he did. I never thought Josh would get that mad or take it that far.

We had gone to the movies which went very smoothly with no conflict but on the way to his house he asked if I was still spending time with Zach. I told him that I wasn't when I was, but only because my dad asked me to. Josh accused me of wanting Zach and even though I denied it 100 times, he only got more mad and hostile. As we were driving, he began to speed down a dirt road and I realized we were actually heading to my house. When we were right up he road he pulled over and told me to get out. Thinking that we was going to make me walk, I got out. Slamming the door, I stormed down the road, but Josh walked up to me and pulled me down on the ground by my hair, covering my mouth. As he stood over me, he took his hand from my hair and punched me in the ribs over and over. I screamed as I felt a horrible pain in my side, but it was muffled by his hand. When it was over, he uncovered my mouth leaving me on the ground in agony.

"Get up, Marley" he mumbled, but I couldn't. I couldn't move. It hurt so bad and I didn't know what was wrong. When Josh realized he went to far, he lifted me up to my feet and walked me to the truck. He wasn't gently or kind about it. Every steps and movement hurt like hell. In that moment I felt like he was treating me like a dead body he needed to get rid of before anyone drove by and asked what was going on. I doubt he would tell the truth and I'm sure I would lie for him. He pulled up to my house and told me to get out and take a pain pill. As I got out pain shot through my side almost making fall to my knees. I began to get scared as I entered the house as quietly as I could. Josh pulled off before I could even get to the front door. I tried to muffle my cries, but I couldn't and I only hoped no one was awake to hear me. I slowly walked through the kitchen trying not to bump into anything as my hand laid softly over my side.

I laid down on the bed and stiffened to try to easy the pain. I didn't even want to breathe too hard because of the pain shooting down the side of my stomach. The pain begin to make me feel dizzy and I knew I was going to pass out soon.

I hear a door open and I know it's Zach. "Marley"

My voice shakes through the tears "Please, Zach go away" I didn't want him seeing me so pathetic and helpless. I can feel my heart beating hard both from pain and fear. I knew I was hurt badly.

His voice turns angry "No. I'm not going away this time. Where did he hit you?"

Zach comes to my side "I have to look at it, Marley. Is that okay?" His voice is calm and soothing as if he is trying to convince me that the situation isn't as horrible as it seems. I don't answer and he takes that as permission enough to examine me.

He reaches over and flicks the light on. "Hold your arm up" I slowly lift my arm flinching in pain

When Zach lifts my shirt, he gets quiet. All I hear is his heavy breathing in the silence of the room "Marley, I have to tell him. I can do this anymore. I can't ignore this. You're seriously hurt"

I don't say anything because I realize Zach knows it's bad. I don't know what the side of my stomach looks like but it must be like something you only see on TV movies.

"I'm going to go downstairs and get your dad okay?"

I want to say no but I know I can't hide this anymore. Who knows what it will be never time or the time after. It'll only get worse the longer I let Josh beat me. He may even kill me if I stay with him even if it's by accident. I'm sure he didn't plan on hurting me this bad but he did.

When Zach comes back my dad is with him. I know my dad was furious and I thank God he didn't go for his gun. I get nervous when he tells me that I need to go to the hospital. It makes me more nervous when my dad tells Zach to carry me. My heart thumps a little harder when he comes around the bed and scoops me up. I nearly yell out in pain as his strong arms lift me up. I lay my head on his shoulder crying as he slowly takes me downstairs. I take in his scent to distract myself and he smells really good. I know it's just the smell of soap but on him it smells better and-

I am interrupted from my thoughts of last night by Zach who taps on my door an hour or so after my dad went to bed. "Need anything before I go shower?" Oh, I kind of wanted to shower too. I wonder how weird this is about to sound "Umm, I wanted to take a shower first but I kind of need help, washing and stuff"

His face expresses nothing. Me and my big mouth. I could probably manage washing myself just fine if i tried "You know what? I think I can handle it. Can you start the shower for me please?"

Zach nods and exits my doorway. I ease off the bed and get my towel from the back of the door. I let my hair down, throwing the hair tie on the dresser and I walk out of my room. Steam starts coming from the bathroom as I make my way down the hall and I can't wait to let the water run over my body. I haven't showered since yesterday morning. When I open the door to the bathroom, Zach is waiting there. I eye him and he almost cracks a smile "Don't worry I'm not staying, I just going to help you get your shirt off."

I blink and force a laugh "Oh, Okay, thanks." I lay my towel down and stand in front of Zach. He places his hands on the end of my shirt "Raise your arms slowly" He orders.

I raise my arms and wince a little. I breathe through it as he lifts the shirt over my head. My cheeks turn a bright red because I don't have on a bra. I look up at Zach and he is looking in my eyes making sure his eyes don't stray to my nakedness from the waist up. Such a gentlemen. I never been insecure of my body much so being naked isn't scary, but being naked in front of Zach gives me weird butterflies in my stomach.

"Need anything else?" He says

I shake my head "Nope, I can manage the rest" I smile and he turns to leave "Wait, Zach"

He turns on his heels "Yeah"

"Thanks, for everthing"

He nods "No problem"

The hot water welcomes me with open arms as it trails from my head to my toes. I manage to wash my hair slowly, but surely but the rest of my body is as hard as I thought it would be. The pain now is nothing I can't handle. I shut the water off and reach for my towel, wrapping it around me slowly. I stand in front of the mirror wiping away the steam and sigh. I am overwhelmed by all this. I never thought it would get this bad. How could I let my life get so out of control. If my dad had stayed away longer this could have gotten worse over time without anyone knowing.

"Everything good?"

His voice makes me jumps "Crap, you scared me!" with my hand over my heart I feel it beating hard and fast.

"Sorry. Just wanted to see if you were okay" Zach laughs a little and his deep chuckle warms my insides. It was one of the few times he has actually laughed since being here. It's never a full laugh just a light reserved chuckle.

I smile lightly. "Its okay. umm I don't want you to feel like you have to baby me or something. I can manage on my own"

Zach frowns, his light humor now gone "Okay.....Im not one for biting my tongue so if you can manage just fine, how did you end in this situation again? should I remind you?"

Asshole "Go to hell, Zach. I don't need anyone especially you throwing this in my face. Just leave me alone" I close the door in his face and start brushing my teeth.

I know he is just trying to help, but I don't need to feel like some weak person. My dad raised me to be strong and yes, I failed to stand up to Josh. There is always time for me to make changes with my life. I know that I can't let my relationship with Josh go on for too long, but I love him or at least I think I do. I just thought he would stop eventually and I guess I was wrong about that.

I take two pain pills and climb in bed, but I can't get to sleep. I resort to staring out the window and watching the storm clouds roll in. Lightning travels across the sky and illuminates my room. I close my eyes as I hear thunder softy roaring in the distance as the storm gets closer. About thirty minutes later it is a mess outside. The rain is falling in buckets and thunder is shaking my windows lightly. Through the noise of the storm, I hear a bump from across the hall. I roll my eyes. I know it's just Zach having one of his nightmares. I never bothered going to wake it up because he would usually wake up himself, but I quickly realize tonight is different when after 15 minutes he is still bumping around. I dread that i'm going to have to get up and go wake him. I know it's right that I do.

I sigh and get up slowly making my way to my door. I open his door and he is rolling around on the bed groaning. When lightly flashes in the room I see that he is soaked in sweat. I go down the hall to the bathroom and wet a hand towel in cold water, folding it as I make my way back to his room. I sit on the side of his bed and whisper his name but he doesn't react. His arm swings and hits my side. I squeeze my eyes closed "f**k" I whisper as I shake off the pain. I have to wake him up before he punches me or something. I get up and climb on top of his body straddling him.

I put my hands on the sides of his face "Zach, wake up. Come on, wake up"

He mumbles something about an attack and his hands grasp the sheets. I lean down in his ear "Zach, come out of it. Wake up, Its Marley, Zach. You have to wake up" While I'm talking I'm shaking his shoulders lightly. His hands move from the sheets to my long shirt. He pulls on the end of it hard.

I pull my face back and see tears flowing down his face. "Zach, Wake up!" I get a little louder as I grab his face. "Come on, Zach!"

Suddenly Zach sits up quickly almost head butting me. His arms his wrapped around me as if he was about to throw me off of him. He is breathing hard as he looks around the room. When his eyes fall on me my breath hitches softly. I put my hand on his shoulder and push "Lay back"

When he does, I take the wet towel and dab his face lightly. I work my way down his neck and chest. I can feel his heartbeat through the towel "Calm down, Its okay" I whisper.

"How long was I out?" he mumbles running his hands over his hair a few times

I shrug "I don't know. I heard you bumping around about 20 minutes ago though. I thought you were going to wake yourself up, but when you didn't I came in here"

He throws his arms over his face "I f*****g hate storms"

"Hmm I love them. They are soothing." I look out his window at the rain.

"Not when thunder starts sounding a lot like grenades" He smirks softly trying to lighten the mood a little.

"Oh. Well that's understandable. You're a lot like thunder." I dab about the remainder of the sweat as he make light conversation. "You okay?"

He moves his arm to look at me "Yeah I'm good, but how am I like thunder?"

"Thunder is scary and intimidating at first but once you get used to it, it's actually enjoyable, like you"

His eyebrow raises clearly amused at my description of him "And I assume you're a lot like lightning"

"How?"

"Most people think lightning is harmless until it strikes. Just by looking at lightning anyone can see that every flash is beautiful, but it also has power to back it up. I know you have power, you just have to embrace it."

I smile and I can tell i'm blushing. "Thanks."

"No problem, it's the truth but can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead"

"Why are you sitting on me?

My cheeks get hot and I'm glad it's dark in here so he won't have to see me blush so much "Uhh well it's the only way I could stop you from rolling around and I also didn't want to get hit again"

"I hit you?" he whispers

I nod and point to my side. "Yep. I'm fine though."

"s**t, I'm sorry, Marley" He groans feeling a little guilty.

"It's cool. I took to pain pills earlier so it wasn't that bad. It hurt like hell though" I laugh a little still not bothering to get off of him and he doesn't say anything about it either. I sit there for about 10 minutes just talking to him, making sure he is okay. Taking to him comes more natural than I thought even with some of his one word answers.

"About what I said earlier, I'm sorry. I know you were just trying to help. it's just hard for me to wrap my head around how I could let someone do this to me. I know I'm smarter than that" I shake my head.

"It's okay. I've heard worse from your father during basic training" He chuckles.

I smile "You knew my dad back then?"

"Yep. Not well though. During basic training, I bumped into him in the mess hall and didn't salute him. I had an attitude problem back then but he straightened me out in that moment, scared the s**t out of me. I didn't see him again till I got deployed"

"Nice. Yeah, he can be a little rough around the edges. I wish some of it rubbed off on me" I mumble.

"You know Marley, none of this is your fault. You just deserve better. You need a real man in your life" His eyes stare into mine as his mood changes back to the seriousness i'm used to.

I snort "Really? A real man. like who? You?" I playfully slap his arm, but his hand catches my wrist.

"I'm serious, Marley. While I'm here no one is going to hurt you again. I promise"

His words ring in my ear and I look down at him. I can tell his face is very serious about this promise but why? "Why are you being so nice to me now? You didn't even like me when you first got here"

His thumb trails little circles on the side of my thigh and I don't think he even knows he is doing it. "I didn't like you when I first got here because you kept invading my personal space. Now I'm used to it. You're not that bad."

I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. "Thanks. Older people don't usually think that about 19 year old"

He frowns at me "Older people? I'm only 24"

"You're older than me so that makes you old. You're one step away from the old folks home"

Zach smacks my thigh softly and I can't help, but laugh at his facial expression. He rarely takes to my humor so it's a surprise to actually see his smile and laugh. I guess he just had to warm up to me. I wonder what he is going to say about me tomorrow when I drive him to therapy.

"Marley"

"Mmhmm?"

"Thanks for helping me through this. I know I don't say it much, but I'm not the type to really-"

"Be nice?" I interrupt smirking at him.

He smacks my thigh again "No, share my feelings. I'm not the type to share how I feel. You are such a smart ass you know that?

I roll my eyes "And what are you gonna do, beat me?" Zach freezes and I quickly catch on. "Oh, too soon?"

"Uh yes considering this big ass bruise on you. I want to punch his f*****g face in. I swear, Marley, you're not allowed to see him again" He orders and i know he means it.

I put my hands on his chest "I know. I don't want to see him again. He scares me and I just don't know why I let it get this far. My own friends even knew and didn't do anything about it."

"Well you don't need to see them anymore either" He mumbles

"So who is going to be my friend?" I c**k my head to the side letting my hair fall over my shoulder.

"I will" Zach looks me in my eye and I know he means everyone word he said. I feel like he is going to keep me safe. I smile and rub his chest "Thanks"

He sits up and I wrap my arms around his neck to hug him. The heat off his body makes my body feel warm and a part of me doesn't want to leave his arms. Zach pulls back and leans back on his arms. I can feel a weird tension growing between us.

Zach puts his hand on my arm and trails his fingers down it. He eyes stay on mine and it set a small fire in me. I know Zach feels it too because he leans in to kiss me. I can't.

I put my fingers over his mouth just before his lips reach mine "Zach, It...Its too soon"

I don't take my hand from his mouth as he nods and mumbles against my fingers "I understand."

I smile and kiss his cheek. "I should go to bed"

Zach nods and as I'm climbing off of him, his hands grip my hips and stop my. His hand pulls my shirt up, luckily I have on shorts, revealing the bruise. I freeze when he leans in and plants his lips so softly on my beaten skin. I barely feel it yet it sends a tingle through my body. When he leans back I run my fingers through his hair and decided that too soon will forever be my excuse if I don't make the first move. I lean in and kiss his lips gently. His soft lips for mines perfectly like they were made for me only.

I pull back and look at him "Thank you"

"For what?"

"For being here for me." I climb off of him and ask I make my way to the door.

"Good night, Thunder."

"Night, Lightning" He mumbles back.

I still feel the heavy tension between us. I smile to myself and go back to my room. As I lay in my bed, I trace over my lips with my thumb. I know it's way to soon to start anything with anyone, but I didn't expect to feel anything in that room. I was just trying to help. I sure as hell didn't expect him to feel anything back. He keeps on just a hard exterior and I feel like I can't crack it. He has shown me a piece of himself and I want more, not to be greedy, but just to get to know him more. I know the military has scarred him mentally and physically so i'm willing to move slowly. I know he feels the same way about me being abused. He knows it's going to take time for me to really trust anyone again. I was naive when it came to Josh so I want to change. I don't want to involve myself with guys like that anymore.

I start to drift off the sleep but my phone vibrates making my eyes open. I squint at the brightness of the screen and when my eyes adjust I see it's a text from Josh.

Marley why haven't you been answering my texts? Stop avoiding me you know that makes me mad.

I sigh and slide the phone back under my pillow. I can't do this anymore. I can't live in fear of my own boyfriend. It's not how love works. Love doesn't leave bruises. Josh wasn't always like this but people change or they eventually reveal their real personalities. Either way some people are just toxic.

My mama, where ever she may be, taught me to never let a boy put his hands on me and as much as I disliked her now, I feel like it's disrespectful to disobey her. My daddy would kill for me and it's a slap in the face for me to just let someone hit me without fighting back or telling him. He didn't raise me like that, he raised me to shoot rifles.

Zach is right, I have the power. I just need to embrace it. I can't handle situations like a teenager anymore. I don't want Zach to see me as someone younger or less mature than him. I'm better than that.

As I fall asleep, I am ready for a new day, a fresh start. First thing I have to do tomorrow is tell Josh that it's over. I don't want to eat or drink til I tell him. I'm not going to prolong the inevitable. I don't want him thinking I still belong to him. It's over.