Torn pages

Degrees of the Heart

The campus buzzed with life—a whirlwind of laughter, chatter, and the distant hum of a guitar strumming a familiar tune. Sunlight filtered through the trees lining the quad, casting playful shadows on the brick walkway. Amongst the throng of students, Mia sat on a bench, her eyes scanning the crowd with a mix of hope and anxiety.

“Hey, Mia!” A voice chirped, pulling her from her thoughts. It was Sarah, her best friend, rushing towards her with a bright smile. “You won’t believe what I just heard!”

“What is it?” Mia asked, forcing a smile, though her heart sank at the thought of what could follow.

“James is dating someone new!” Sarah exclaimed, her eyes wide with excitement. “Can you imagine? After everything that happened between you two?”

Mia’s chest tightened. She had moved on, or at least she told herself that. “Yeah, I heard. Good for him.”

“Good for him? He was so into you!” Sarah shook her head, oblivious to the anguish bubbling beneath Mia’s surface. “You should at least talk to him. Set things straight.”

“Why? So he can tell me how happy he is with someone else?” Mia retorted, her voice sharper than intended. She looked away, swallowing the lump in her throat. “I don’t think I could handle that.”

“Come on, it’s been a year! You can’t just let your friends dictate your love life forever,” Sarah insisted, crossing her arms.

“Can’t I?” Mia murmured, her gaze fixed on the ground. She remembered the way her friends had swayed her decision to leave James for someone with a more appealing social status—someone they deemed ‘better.’ It felt like a betrayal she could never quite shake off.

“Let’s go! We’re meeting up with the others at the café,” Sarah said, tugging at Mia’s arm. “You need to get out of your head for a bit.”

Reluctantly, Mia stood, her heart still heavy with regret. As they walked, the laughter of her friends drifted through the air, a stark contrast to her internal turmoil.

Later that evening, the café buzzed with chatter and clinking mugs. Mia sat at a corner table, attempting to engage in the conversation, but her mind wandered back to James. She could almost hear his laugh—the way it echoed like a warm melody that wrapped around her heart.

“Earth to Mia!” Sarah waved a hand in front of her face, pulling her back to reality. “You’ve been staring into space for the last five minutes. What’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Nothing,” Mia replied too quickly, a hint of defensiveness in her tone. “Just thinking.”

“About James?” Sarah pressed, her curiosity evident.

“Can we not do this right now?” Mia sighed, feeling the weight of her friends’ expectations pressing down on her.

“Fine,” Sarah relented, but her expression was a mix of concern and frustration. “But you can’t keep pretending everything’s fine.”

Mia took a deep breath. “I know. I just… I don’t know what to do. I made a mistake, and it feels like I can never undo it.”

“Maybe you should talk to him,” Sarah suggested gently.

“Maybe I should just let it go,” Mia replied, her voice barely a whisper. The thought of facing James, of seeing the hurt in his eyes, was unbearable.

The days turned into weeks, and the campus began to quiet down as winter approached. Snowflakes danced through the air, blanketing the ground in a soft white layer. Mia found herself wandering through the campus, her heart heavy with memories of what could have been.

“Hey! Mia!” A familiar voice called out, jolting her from her reverie. She turned to see James approaching, his tall figure cutting through the snowfall like a beacon.

“Hi, James,” she managed, her heart racing.

He smiled, a genuine warmth that momentarily melted her defenses. “It’s good to see you. How have you been?”

“Busy with classes… you know how it is,” she replied, avoiding his gaze.

“Yeah,” he nodded, his expression turning serious. “I heard you’ve been hanging out with Sarah and the others a lot.”

“Yeah, they keep me busy,” Mia said, forcing a casual tone.

“Good,” he said, though his eyes betrayed a flicker of sadness. “I’m glad you’re moving on.”

The silence stretched between them, thick with unspoken words. Mia felt a pang of regret, a longing for the past that she couldn’t quite shake off.

“I saw you at the café the other day,” James said, breaking the silence. “You looked… well.”

“Thanks,” she replied, unsure how to respond.

“I’ve been thinking about what happened between us,” he continued, his voice steady but pained. “I wish things had turned out differently.”

“Me too,” Mia whispered, her heart aching. “I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“I know,” he said, his eyes softening. “But it felt like you chose them over us.”

“I did,” she admitted, her voice thick with emotion. “I let my friends influence me. I thought… I thought it was what I was supposed to do.”

James nodded, the hurt flickering in his eyes momentarily before he masked it with a smile. “I’ve moved on, though. I’m happy now.”

“Good. I’m glad,” she replied, though the words felt hollow.

“Are you?” he asked, tilting his head, searching her face.

“I’m trying,” she said, a lump forming in her throat. “But it’s hard. I miss what we had.”

“Sometimes things don’t work out the way we want them to,” he replied, a tinge of melancholy in his voice. “But we have to keep moving forward.”

“I know,” she breathed, feeling the weight of their shared history pressing down on her. “I just wish I could go back and change things.”

“Me too,” he said softly. “But we can’t. All we can do is learn from it.”

Weeks passed, and the campus transformed under a blanket of snow. The air was crisp, and the world felt quiet, save for the crunch of boots on the frozen ground. Mia found herself lost in thought more often than not, the echoes of her past with James haunting her.

“Let’s go ice skating!” Sarah suggested one afternoon, her excitement infectious.

Mia hesitated but ultimately agreed, hoping that a change of scenery might lift her spirits. The rink was alive with laughter as students glided across the ice, their joy palpable.

“Come on, Mia!” Sarah laughed, pulling her onto the ice. “Don’t be shy!”

Mia wobbled, her heart racing as she tried to find her balance. The cold air stung her cheeks, and for a moment, she felt free—until she spotted James, gliding effortlessly across the ice with a group of friends.

“Look who it is!” Sarah exclaimed, nudging Mia. “Go say hi!”

Mia froze, her heart pounding in her chest. “I can’t just—”

“Just go!” Sarah urged, giving her a gentle push.

With a deep breath, Mia skated towards him, her heart racing. “Hey, James!”

He turned, surprise lighting up his features. “Mia! Hey!”

“Looks like you’re having fun,” she said, trying to sound casual.

“Yeah, it’s great! You should join us,” he said, his smile warm.

“Maybe I will,” she replied, her nerves settling slightly.

“Come on then, let’s race!” he challenged, a playful glint in his eye.

“Race? You’re on!” Mia said, her competitive spirit igniting.

They took off, laughter spilling from their lips as they raced across the ice, the world around them fading away. For those precious moments, it felt like old times—like nothing had changed.

As they skated, Mia felt a warmth blooming in her chest, a flicker of hope that maybe, just maybe, they could find their way back to each other.

Later that evening, they sat on a bench, warm drinks in hand, the stars twinkling overhead. The air was filled with a comfortable silence, the tension from earlier dissipating.

“I’m glad we did that,” Mia said, sipping her hot chocolate. “It felt… nice.”

“Yeah,” James replied, his gaze distant as if he were lost in thought. “I’ve missed this. Us.”

Mia’s heart skipped a beat. “Me too.”

“Do you ever think about what could have been?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Every day,” she admitted, her voice trembling. “But I also believe we’re meant to grow from our mistakes.”

James nodded, but there was a sadness in his eyes that tugged at her heart. “You know, I’ve worked hard to move on. To become someone I can be proud of.”

“You’ve done an amazing job,” Mia said, her admiration evident.

“And you? What about you?” he asked, a hint of challenge in his tone. “Are you still letting your friends dictate your life?”

Mia hesitated, the weight of his question heavy in the air. “I’m trying to find my own path,” she replied slowly. “But it’s hard to let go of their influence.”

“You have to do what makes you happy,” he encouraged, leaning closer. “Don’t let anyone else decide that for you.”

“I know,” she said, meeting his gaze. “But it’s easier said than done.”

“Nothing worth having ever is,” he replied, his voice steady.

As the weeks rolled on, Mia found herself wrestling with her feelings. She couldn’t shake the connection she felt with James, even as she tried to distance herself from the past. Their encounters became more frequent, each interaction filled with laughter and unspoken words.

One afternoon, as they walked through the snow-dusted campus, James turned to her. “So, what’s next for you?”

“I’m thinking about applying for internships,” Mia said, her voice filled with determination. “I want to get experience in my field.”

“Sounds great! I’m sure you’ll excel at whatever you choose,” he encouraged, a genuine smile brightening his face.

“Thanks, James. That means a lot coming from you,” she replied, her heart fluttering.

He paused, a serious expression crossing his features. “Mia, I want you to know that I’m here for you. No matter what happens, I’ll always support you.”

Tears pricked at her eyes, and she blinked them away. “I appreciate that. I really do.”

“Just promise me something,” James said, his voice steady. “Promise me you won’t let anyone else dictate your happiness again.”

“I promise,” she said, her voice firm. The weight of his words resonated deeply, filling her with a newfound sense of resolve.

As spring approached, the campus burst into color, and Mia felt a shift within herself. She was done living in the shadows of others’ expectations. It was time to reclaim her happiness.

One evening, as she sat in the library studying, she spotted Sarah across the room, engaged in a heated conversation with another friend. Mia’s heart raced as she overheard snippets of their discussion.

“No way should she go back to him,” Sarah’s voice was sharp. “She needs to focus on better options.”

Mia felt her stomach churn. It was the same old narrative, and she was tired of being a pawn in someone else’s game. Gathering her courage, she approached them, determination fueling her steps.

“Hey, can we talk?” she asked, her voice steady.

“Sure, what’s up?” Sarah replied, surprise flickering across her face.

“I’m done with this,” Mia said, her heart pounding. “I’m done letting you all decide who I should be with. I need to make my own choices.”

“Mia, we just want what’s best for you,” Sarah said, her tone softening.

“I know, but I need to figure that out for myself,” Mia insisted. “I appreciate your concern, but I’m not a child anymore. I want to explore my feelings for James.”

“But he’s not—” Sarah started, but Mia cut her off.

“I don’t care if he’s not what you all expected! I care about him, and I want to see where this can lead,” she declared, her voice unwavering.

“Mia, wait,” Sarah said, but Mia was already walking away, her heart racing with new-found freedom.

That evening, Mia found herself at the café, her heart racing as she spotted James sitting at their usual table. He looked up, a smile breaking across his face as she approached.

“Hey! I’m glad you came,” he said, gesturing to the empty seat across from him.

“I needed to talk to you,” Mia said, her heart pounding.

“About?” he asked, his expression curious.

“About us,” she replied, taking a deep breath. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and I realize I don’t want to let anyone else influence my choices anymore.”

James’s eyes widened, a flicker of hope igniting within them. “Really?”

“Really,” she confirmed, her heart racing. “I want to explore this connection we have. I want to see where it can go.”

“Mia, I… I’d like that,” James said, his voice filled with sincerity.

“Good,” she smiled, relief flooding through her. “I’m tired of living in the past. I want to focus on the future.”

They shared a moment of silence, the weight of their shared history hanging in the air. Then James reached across the table, taking her hand in his. “I’m here for you, no matter what happens.”

“I know,” Mia replied, her heart swelling. “And I want to be here for you too.”

As they sat together, the noise of the café faded away, leaving only the warmth of their connection. In that moment, Mia felt a sense of peace settle within her—a realization that love wasn’t just about the choices of others; it was about the choices they made together.

The stakes were high, but for the first time in a long while, she felt ready to take that leap.

As spring blossomed around them, Mia and James began to rebuild their relationship, one step at a time. Each shared laugh, each heartfelt conversation, wove a new tapestry of hope and love.

And as they walked hand in hand through the vibrant campus, Mia felt the echoes of yesterday fade, replaced by the promise of a brighter tomorrow.