Reina of Hanneau (English)

CONFIDANTE

Family. 

A team.

Reina is bombarded by words that she is strangely familiar with. However, she didn’t expect it to come from Mitsuei. He might think of their relationship that way, but she never expected him to be this vocal about it. She sure can see it in his actions and behavior even if he doesn’t say anything. 

"I don't understand. Is there a problem at work?" Reina asks, feigning innocence. She didn't want to drag these emotions any further.

Mitsuei remains silent. Reina can only hear the rustling of sheets underneath them when Mitsuei pulls her to an embrace. 

She looks up at him. His eyes are closed as if he has already drifted into sleep. His breathing is also steady and so is his heartbeat. 

Reina doubts if he is asleep or not. He isn't the type who would instantly fall asleep when his head hit the pillows. Even during nights when they sleep together, he would read a book for hours before he could finally put it down to sleep.

"Reina." 

Reina gasps when she suddenly hears his voice next to her ear. She isn't used to this sort of physical contact with Mitsuei. 

Out of nowhere, she remembered the behavior Mitsuei showed during childbirth.

He was openly showing his emotions. Not only to her but to Helen and Kayomi, too. He kissed her here and there, wanting to put her mind at ease when she was giving birth to Ritsu. 

She knew he would be a capable and supportive husband, but Mitsuei exceeded her expectations. She can still feel his lips on her face. And with his face close to her like this, she could not help but think of his warm kisses.

Arguably, Mitsuei was not his usual self. Months into their marriage, Mitsuei changed from being the stoic husband to the sweet and gentle one. 

A type of person she could not win against. 

If it was Tomohisa, she would have growled at him right now for being too touchy. But surprisingly, it seems different with Mitsuei.

Mitsuei didn't make her feel anxious. Honestly, she enjoys the feel of his bronze skin against hers. It has a soothing and cooling effect.

"Do you remember when you caught me having nightmares?" 

Reina agrees with a nod. She braves herself to look straight to his face, thinking he still has his eyes closed. She, on the other hand, quickly regrets her decision. Dark brown eyes with longing expressions stare back at her.

"I always hoped they were only a part of a bad dream. But no. They were events that happened in my past. I want to bury them into the deepest parts of my being yet, they kept coming back to remind me how dirty my hands are."

"But it wasn't your fault, to begin with. You only ---."

"That is right. I understand that now since you tirelessly remind me of my sole purpose. I always thought I was selfish for doing those things just to survive. But thinking about it now, had it happened in the present, I would do anything just to return to this home alive. I wouldn't care less about the others."

"Don't say that. Either of you has families after all. Both sides are fighting for something." 

"I know. I know." Mitsuei whispers repeatedly. He is trying to make a point, yet Reina seems to divert the topic. "Anyway, what I am trying to say is, you didn't give up on me even though I was brushing you off every time the topic is opened. I was trying hard to save you from such scary thoughts, but you repeatedly remind me of your stubbornness."

Mitsuei chuckles as he snuggles closer to Reina, leaving no air to pass through them. 

Reina is perplexed right now. Aside from being soft with her in both tone and action, Mitsuei is also being overly affectionate. She hasn't seen his sentimental side before.

“Reina, you should know that being stubborn isn’t something exclusive only to you.”

“Well, I cannot deny that,” Reina giggles, thinking how the atmosphere around them changed throughout their marriage.

And they have only been married for a few months. They have yet to reach their anniversary in the next five months. 

Oh, how much changed in a short time. She can now see that their treatment of each other is beyond being civil. But of course, she wants Mitsuei to tell her that straight in the face. She didn't want to make any assumptions, especially because she deals with a complex man.

“So you should know why I am here,” Mitsuei mutters in a serious tone. But the gentleness in his eyes is never gone. 

Reina's eyes are pressed together firmly. Her face is buried in his neck. Being so close to his body feels right. She has the impression that she is a puzzle piece that fits perfectly on his missing piece.

She takes a deep breath, inhaling his mild and relaxing scent. 

She wishes she could go back in time and do it all over again. Love Mitsuei and become a member of his small family. Her life would have been different if not for her blinded affections for Tomohisa.

But she can never turn back time. And it would mean not having Ritsu if she had made a different decision. 

With her depressing thoughts, Reina cannot stop herself from tearing up. She begins to whimper, unable to conceal her sentiments. 

Yet, she refuses to let go of Mitsuei. She clings to him like he is her lifeline. The only one that makes her sane and comfortable.

“Okay. Okay. Go on. Let it all go,” Mitsuei whispers in her ears.

Mitsuei appears to be a calm person at all times. However, the quiver in his voice as he caresses her back did not escape her. She may be drowning in self-pity, but being so close to him has made her more sensitive to her husband. 

“Did you know that Rio overcame her fears today for you? She came to my office looking reluctant yet conclusive.”

Reina didn’t answer. She only listens to the sound of his voice reverberating towards her.

Thankfully, Ritsu is still fast asleep in his crib. She couldn’t around to see the baby since Mitsuei imprisoned her in a tight embrace. 

“The young woman seemed to have been attached to you. She has grown fond of you. Enough to burst into my office and reprimand me for being the worst husband.”

“What? What did she do?!”

When Reina hears Rio's antics against Mitsuei, she automatically raises her head. Rio can't possibly be capable of such a thing. She is too frightened to be chastised and would most likely curl up in the corner.

However, Mitsuei didn’t seem angry. His eyes show amusement as he softly wipes the tears off her face. 

Reina is taken aback by the situation. It's never been more heart-pounding to look at Mitsuei with his face so near to hers.

He is a man known for his outstanding physique. Tall and bronze-skinned. Dark brown eyes that seemingly draw anyone’s attention. 

Intimidating, yet selfless.

Scarred, yet kind.

In the beginning, her heart only races out of fear and intimidation. But now, her heart beats fast whenever they meet eye to eye. Then, he would slowly smile, showing a perfect set of teeth. 

‘God. I love this man.’

Reina whimpers as she squeezes herself back to his neck. Somehow, the scent he gives off relaxes her. To the point that she almost forgot the reason why she is crying right now. 

If she could stay like this forever, then she wouldn’t mind sticking to him like gum. 

However, that dream is out of reach. 

The sound of Ritsu’s cries resonates through the room. Her little boy is finally awake, putting a stop to his mother’s sweet moment. 

Reina immediately turns around, thinking she needs to get Ritsu out of the crib. However, Mitsuei stops her after he takes his time approaching the crying child. 

“And here I was having a moment with your mother. You should pick a proper timing next time, buddy,” Mitsuei smirks as he picks up the little boy.

He gently cradles Ritsu in the hopes that he would calm down. And just like the usual, Ritsu would gradually stop crying after hearing Mitsuei’s voice. 

Mitsuei then walks toward Reina on the bed, slowly placing the baby on the mattress next to her. 

“Too bad he didn’t have your eyes.” Mitsuei comments that make Reina turn her eyes to him. He meets her eyes, smiling with obvious joy. “I always admired your eyes.”

Reina was teased a lot when she was younger because of her blue eyes.

She was not like the other students in her class. Even the adults she encountered commented on how odd she appeared.

She had been called a witch. Or another life form not belonging to the earth. 

And as she grew old, part of her loathes these eyes. She can never hide it. 

Even Tomohisa teased her once, asking if she was seeing ghosts or other supernatural beings that no normal human could see. She laughed it off, but she was hurting inside. She had high hopes for him. He was, nevertheless, one of the people who chastised her.

And it was stupid of her to fall in love with Tomohisa. 

Yet now, someone here appreciates her presence. 

“Reina, it is okay to be tired or cry. It is okay to put yourself first. I can always watch the baby while you rest. I will and cannot ever harm him. He is safe with me.”

Reina purses her lips together as she stares back at Mitsuei with misty eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” Reina speaks softly. 

“You have nothing to be sorry for. You are doing an amazing job as it is. But I need you to take care of yourself. Please. We all need you here.”

“Okay,” Reina nods her head in agreement. 

Mitsuei then places his hand on her chin. He softly caresses her, healing her soul.

She trusts him more than herself. And she is reminded once more of the effect he has on her.