Crystal Clear

Chapter Five

Ava looked at Dan’s face, inches away from her own. His eyes now filled with tears, regret and questions. She’d never seen him look so saddened. She couldn’t look him in the eye as she knew what she was going to say next was going to hurt. Dan’s sorrowful look would only make her tears fall harder.

“You didn’t want me then, and the times before that. I didn’t want you thinking that I was trapping you into a relationship with me by using a baby to force you into staying with me” Ava tried to make it sound as tactful as possible. She’d pushed this to the back of her mind now for a year and finally talking about it made her realise how much it still stung. Taking a quick glance up, she saw that Dan looked horrified. The consequences of Dan’s words seemed to be finally hitting him as he looked guilty as he remembered saying things in the past that sounded terrible in hindsight.

“I never knew…I never said I didn’t want you and we never discussed kids”

“You said you wanted to carry on as we were. As we were – wasn’t good enough for me. I never knew where I stood with you. Arguing, making up, work parties, you calling things off with me if you thought you could get with some pretty younger girl. That’s no environment for a baby; it would have been me doing everything and you making excuses. I’d have probably moved back into my parents!”

Dan wrapped his arm around Ava, a tear slid down from her eyes and splashed against Dan’s hand. Ava turned around to face him fully and she hugged him – her tears damping Dan’s purple cashmere jumper. Dan didn’t know what to say back to her, so he kept quiet and hoped she’d accept his cuddle as a sorry. Even though he was upset about the baby, he was more annoyed that he’d messed up things with her so much – no wonder Ava had left him. Dan looked down and saw her crying into his best jumper, part of him wanted to tell her to get a tissue and get off him; but the other part of him thought that if he left her to cry, she might forgive him a little because he was being so compassionate. Ava, however, just was enjoying the chance to release all the pent-up tears and regret about the baby. Dan and Ava cuddled in relative silence for an hour. Thanking him as she left for letting her cry, both knew that this was the last time they’d meet for a while. Ava was glad that he seemed to understand, maybe this was the right time for them to finally have closure. She closed the door behind her and walked home. Hopefully, closing the door on that painful part of her life.

The months flew by after that, winter soon disappeared, and spring rolled around. It was summer before Ava was wondering where the year had gone to. Her feelings for Dan had changed, the pining she once had was now subdued, and a weight had lifted emotionally after she’d told him about the abortion – it made her wonder why she hadn’t told him earlier. Dan had been really understanding about everything since that morning and they agreed that it was probably for the best that they stayed friends as being together never worked out well. Dan being Dan, however, had often tried throughout the last six months to coax her around to his place for a booty call but Ava had turned him down, telling him numerous times she was seeing someone.

Richard and Ava had been seeing each other since the night they’d spent together. They loved to tell people who asked how they got together, how he’d nearly killed her on New Year’s Eve and it was love at first sight in the hospital bed - it seemed to always impress and wow them. Ava was so content with things this year; Richard treated her like a princess. Ava beamed with happiness; people at her work were forever asking her what she was randomly grinning about when she looked at her phone… mostly Richard sending her a cheeky selfie or text laced with innuendo. Ava couldn't have asked for a nicer boyfriend. She loved it now that Richard had grown his dark brown hair out, so it was ear length and he brushed it, so it was off his face. It suited him and made him look very dapper. Ava in a bid to look different and leave the past behind her, dyed her hair dark brown with blonde highlights. The new colour really seemed to make her feel so much better about herself, she’d even joined a gym with Richard!

Dan still didn’t know that Ava and his brother were in a relationship. Richard had met him a few times since the new year but obviously, he hadn’t said anything about his love life to Dan. She knew one day it would happen and it’d open a can of worms but sadly, Ava knew that she’d left it too long for it not to hurt either of them. Especially now that Richard had been trying to persuade Ava to move in with him for the last few weeks. It would mean they could see more of each other as his shifts with the Fire Service made things difficult sometimes, but it would also mean she might come into a conversation between the brothers. Plus, her house was a nice piece of independence that she was very wary of letting go.

Three days ago, Dan and Richard’s biological mother Cecilia had passed away. Dan contacted Ava about it as she knew some of his history with his mother and she became his go to person to talk about his grief. However, being the person consoling, both brothers was problematic. Dan knew more intricate details about their mother, whereas Richard only knew the basics. Ava had to stop herself from tripping over the fact she knew one thing in front of one brother and not for the other. Ava’s problems got worse when Richard got a call from Dan about the funeral. It was tomorrow, and Ava knew she’d have to come clean about how she knew Dan, as up until now she’d been able to avoid that awkward conversation. Ava figured it was best if she told Dan, then maybe he might keep away from her in anger and Richard needed to be none the wiser.

“Ric? I’m just going to go to the bedroom and ring my mum” Ava lied to Richard as she poked her head around his lounge door. Richard nodded; he was busy on the computer, looking at a florist website to see how much their flowers were. Ava felt bad for keeping the truth from him, but it seemed easier than explaining that the Daniel she dated before was his brother and not just another Dan like she’d suggested he was. The truth was not going to be pretty, especially as she’d lied numerous times to Richard about where she was going when she was going to meet Dan and then there was the issue of Dan being his brother. It was a mess. Out of earshot of Richard, she dialled Dan’s number – he picked up within the first ring.

“Hey Ave, how’s you?” Dan asked

“I’m ok thanks. I’ve got something to tell you, and I doubt you’re going to like it”

“Oh ok, sure. Fire away.”

She paused, thought about it and figured being blunt about it was the best way to be. There was no sugar coating this.

“Dan… I’m dating your brother Richard. I’m sorry I should have told you earlier.” Ava confessed.

“I knew already, Ric told me when he mentioned you were his plus one. To my knowledge, there’s not that many Avalee’s out there especially in this town….”

Ava was surprised he’d known and not contacted her asking why she’d not told him “You knew, and you didn’t say anything?”

“Why should I? I’ll always care for you, but you’ve moved on. And anyway, is there a bigger compliment - that you still fancy me then the fact you’re dating my identical twin?!” Dan replied a slight hint of laughter in his voice.

Ava stifled a laugh before continuing in a sterner tone “Fine then, but I don’t want Richard to know we were ever together. He knows we know each other but that’s it. I don’t want you coming between us…”

“If you want to keep secrets from your boyfriend then that’s your problem” Dan retorted

“Dan. I just don’t want you to come over and say something. Then for me to try and explain to Ric everything today. I shouldn’t have lied in the first place; I should have told him so much earlier, I’ll tell him soon promise, I just don’t want to tell him at his mother’s funeral. Okay? If you care about me as much as you claim, you’ll stay quiet, please?”

Dan sounded irritated and sighed before he replied “I’ll stay away, but I can’t promise I won’t stare at you if you look stunning. See you tomorrow.” He then hung up the phone. Ava threw her phone onto Ric’s bed and stormed down the hallway, she managed to look as calm and composed as she could when she walked into the lounge but felt her flushed skin might tell him otherwise.

“Hey baby,” Richard said as he spotted her, “come over here and tell me what you think of these flowers”

Ava walked over and stood next to the computer where Richard was sat. She perched on his lap. “They look beautiful” Ava replied, she turned and kissed Richard on the lips. “I love you; I really don’t deserve such a wonderful man like you… Do you want me to find a handkerchief or two for you for tomorrow?”

“I love you too and that’d be great, it’d save me stuffing my pockets with tissues,” Richard said before kissing her tenderly back. Ava ran her fingers through his hair and cupped his face in her hands as she kissed Richard’s soft lips deeply. Richard’s hands started to search under her top for her bra clasp and Ava felt him harden underneath her legs. Richard then scooped her whole body up in his arms and carried her down the hallway and laid her on his bed. Richard's soft silky bedsheets smelt like lavender and the bed creaked slightly under their weight. They kissed passionately, whilst undressing each other; Richard stopped and whispered into Ava’s ear. “You are my everything” he then carried on kissing down her neck and continued kissing her down her chest…His kisses reminded her how much she would miss his love if this Dan issue tore them apart. She only hoped Richard would forgive her lies. Her thoughts soon cleared as his tongue found her s*x.