Crystal Clear

Chapter Four

The silk style bed linen rustled underneath her semi-naked body. The white and black shirt that Richard had given her last night as make shift pyjamas, the seams rubbed against her skin and woke Ava up. Stiff shirts really weren’t sleepwear, she thought. She looked around her, the room was still dark. The heavy curtains blocked out most of the light, knowing these were probably for when he came back from nights, she assumed it was a lot lighter outside than the light she was currently seeing. Pondering what the time was she looked on the floor for her handbag, she saw it due to the LED light on her phone flashing, leading her to its location. Looking at the time quickly, she spotted her inbox had a few messages in it. Ava sighed and rubbed her eyes, determined to ignore whoever it was that was pestering her she placed the phone back in her bag. Turning back over, she hugged Richard’s body; he was fast asleep and didn’t appear to feel a thing. The night before had been lovely, it had made Ava feel like a teenager again. Lying in the dark, her thoughts went over how lovely he was and how this was really turning out to be something special. Even though she’d been very forward in her advances, rather than use this to his advantage, Richard had caught her and threw her on his sofa and they kissed - for ages before taking things further… tending to her every need. Afterwards, they watched a DVD on the couch, Ava nestled in his arms. She couldn’t believe her luck; Richard was so kind and considerate, so why did her mind keep comparing him to Dan? Her phone receiving a text lit up the bedroom for fifth time in a few hours and deciding she couldn’t ignore the texts any more she looked at them.

Dan: I love you. I’m sorry, forgive me?

Dan: Why haven’t you contacted me since the other week?

Dan: I take it you’re mad at me?

Dan: I’m drunk come over? I miss you.

Mum: Hope those bruises have healed now. It was lovely to see you the other day. You should move closer to us sweetheart. Love you. Xx

Rolling her eyes, Ava accepted the fact she was awake and that there wasn’t much hope of getting back to sleep, she sat up and got out of bed. Creeping out the bedroom, and down the stairs, Ava picked up her clothes from the hallway floor and wrote a note on a post-it to explain why she’d gone.

“Something's come up. Sorry I had to go before you woke up. A xxx”

She unlocked the door after she was dressed and slipped out into the foggy January morning. The cold hit Ava’s cheeks as she hurried through the bitter cold. The wind whistled around her ears, and twenty minutes into her walk she regretted leaving Richard’s house. Another ten minutes past and she was at Dan’s, Ava hadn’t really intended to knock on his door, it was just his house was on her way back to her own. Curiosity had made her, and her heart had willed her to knock on his door. Ava knocked, several times on the wooden door that felt like stone against her knuckles due to the cold in addition to the lack of gloves. There was no answer, so she peered through the letter box – but no one was there. Giving up she turned around and walked back up his driveway when his car pulled in. Dan was at the end of his drive, surprised to see her. Ava’s heartbeat raced, waiting for him to ask her a question. He walked over to her and before she could move or talk, he wrapped his arms around her. “I knew you wanted to make another go of things!” Dan exclaimed happily. Ava then blushed. “You look exhausted gorgeous” he added, “Is your shower on the brink again? Have one at mine”. Ava looked up at Dan who was now fussing her, rubbing her arms telling her how cold she was. Dan’s cologne was wafting up her nose while he was doing this making her heart pine for him. Ava could do nothing more than go with it, “Sounds great, I’d appreciate it” she told him courteously. Dan unlocked up his house and ushered her in. Telling her to get a towel from the airing cupboard and then enthusiastically telling her how to operate the shower. Ava stopped him midsentence, “Dan, I do know how to operate the shower. I did live here once!” she immediately regretted saying it expecting a backlash, but Dan merely smiled and answered “I’m sorry Ave, I forget sometimes”

Ava wondered upstairs, he’d decorated the bathroom since she’d left. She speculated that the decorations she’d bought for it were probably stuffed in a cupboard somewhere. When she opened the airing cupboard, she was right. A dusty cardboard box at the bottom was full to the brim with ornaments, newspaper to protect them and a soap dish – items she’d chosen a year ago to beautify the place. She remembered how he’d moan when she went out shopping and repeatedly came back with another thing for the house. He’d moan, she’d kiss him, and he’d forgive her. Ava half smiled at this brief but lovely memory, she then grabbed a towel and had a shower – hoping to distract her mind from the painful memories that would follow.

The water had cleansed her body but unfortunately not her mind, being upstairs in this house just brought back memories. Arguments, the pain but regardless of the bad there was the good times; the smiles, the laughter, the passionate nights, the life she wanted and craved right now – she had in this house – and it was like opening a Pandora’s box of feelings. She got dressed again and went down stairs to the kitchen where Dan was stirring two cups of tea.

“I heard you get out the shower, thought I’d make us a cuppa and we could talk,” Dan said, passing her a cup. Ava took it and walked to the lounge.

“Look, Dan. About us…” Ava started to say.

Dan then interrupted her, “Ave, look. I know I’ve done some callous things in the past. I’m sorry. I completely messed up. I got partner in the business now, I’m less stressed and I’m ready to settle down. I’m ready for that relationship you wanted so badly that I couldn’t give to you”

Ava’s heart panged as his words hit her and hastily replied back “You said you didn’t want marriage, that it was just a piece of paper….”

Dan looked at Ava, her beautiful eyes filled with tears; his heart ached to see her upset. He moved to the seat next to her on the cream coloured couch and spoke to her sympathetically “I’m sorry, I know I keep saying it but I am. I was worried; I thought that I was missing out on something and when we split. I soon realised there wasn’t”

Ava shook her head in disbelief “Still after all this time, you still don’t get it. I wasn’t asking you to propose to me. I was pregnant and asking you about our future and where you saw it going!!”

Dan sat motionless and speechless for a minute or two whilst the information he’d just heard sunk in “You were pregnant?”