Tara-
I had almost kissed Jayce. f**k. What the f**k were you thinking Tara?! How could you be such a twit?! I was in my room in the pack house, my tutor was rambling on about how important having a budget and sticking to it was for a pack. I was only half listening, still trying to come down from the high I had felt being so close to Jayce. I cursed myself. I always had this stupid little crush on him since we were kids. I couldn’t explain the logic behind it because from all accounts it didn’t make sense. He was inferior by rank, an Omega.
My father had made it clear a very long time ago that I would only be married to someone of equal rank or at the very worst, a Beta. You see, I was an Alpha by default. Both of my parents were of an Alpha bloodline, it was probably the purest bloodline you could get nowadays and my father was adamant about keeping it that way. When he found out I was dating Mason last year, he was elated. He said that it had made things easier for him and furthermore delved into revealing my betrothal to him.
Rebellion was the only thing I found to ease the stubbornness with-in me. I was not one to be controlled even more than my wolf side. As soon as I learned of our betrothal, I found anything to shove in my ‘sacred hole’. Mason was well known for being a man-w***e, I’d be damned if I let him be my first. I wasn’t saving myself for him and if I wouldn’t be in control of our life once mated, then I would do whatever the hell I wanted until then.
The first thing I did was head for the mall. There was a store there that sold all sorts of kinky s*x s**t including dildos, so I bought one. I wasn’t sure how to use it, I mean I understood how to use it, but it still felt extremely weird and didn’t have the desired effects the few times I tried. Laura had been my closest female friend after me and Jayce had drifted apart. It was easier sharing things with her also since I didn’t have to fight the desire to stick my tongue down her throat like I did with Jayce. She wasn’t the best influence, which is how I got introduced to some recreational drugs.
I snuck out to meet her at a college party one night. She had an older cousin who picked us up when we snuck out of the house. We hid in the back seat under some blankets, to get through the gates and headed to the human town. The party was raging when we arrived and we quickly began drinking and smoking to catch up. Laura had handed me a small white circle tablet, calling it a ‘happy pill’. I was eager to push my limits and swallowed it happily.
Hours later I had ended up in one of the bedrooms I had dropped my purse in, searching for the dildo I had packed. I began to play with it, eager to find my release this time. Laura’s cousin, Brett stumbled in, clearly not expecting to see me there or find me in that situation. His eyes flashed with hunger when he locked the door and approached me. The drug had taken it’s effect on me, erasing all sense from my mind as I allowed him to take my hand in his and guide the toy inside of me. He was more experienced than I was and I reached orgasm within seconds. He didn’t stop there though. He was the first man I slept with, but not the last.
Mason and I were dating, but we were not exclusive. There were several d***s at school I wanted to try out that weren’t the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with and so I did. I tried them, making sure they knew it was a one time thing and if they didn’t want Mason kicking their ass, they’d keep it between us. Eventually, he found out and it wasn’t pretty. They had to call my father to separate Mason from the other guys and calm things down with his Alpha aura. I was grounded for months after that and he had put me on an even tighter leash.
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The interaction with Jayce had my feelings in disarray and I needed to let out some steam. After the tutor left, I headed down for dinner. I searched the crowd for someone I felt like tolerating tonight, when I met a pair of hungry brown eyes. Dex. He was a delta and one of the warrior’s sons. His physique wasn’t bad. He was bulky where as I preferred them a bit more slender and chiseled. He was easy on the eyes which would have to do and he seemed eager enough as his eyes seemed to follow me to my seat. After dinner, I snuck off to the second floor. His room was at the end and I snuck inside. I looked around as I waited.
The Omegas kept the place pretty clean including the rooms and bathrooms, but he seemed like a slob and the room had an odd smell to it. As I was looking over his desk, I heard the door knob turn and the lights flicked on. I whipped around quickly as if I had been caught. Dex’s eyes met mine and his face held shock. He closed the door without breaking eye contact, “Tara, what are you doing in here?” I smiled seductively. I didn’t really like talking when I just needed a fix. I lifted my shirt over my head, hoping he would get the hint. He smiled and locked the door before walking over to me and grabbing me by the neck.
One might ask why I didn’t simply f**k Mason. Well, he was harder to get to because he belonged to another pack and I simply had no interest in f*****g someone I was unwillingly obliged to already. ‘Same d**k for the rest of my life’ sort of thing, I guess. Dex was sloppy and finished too fast for my liking. I made him eat me out so I could get to finish. He wasn’t very good at that either. What a waste.
That night I laid in bed, thinking over my life and my friendship with Jayce. I felt like I had been a bad friend in many ways. Jayce was always there for me when I needed him, no questions asks. We could spend hours talking to each other and we always used to. We stayed in the clubhouse for hours, just talking about anything and everything. About our futures, our dreams, and desires. I knew even back then that my dreams included Jayce, but I never revealed it to him. It would’ve made things awkward. And if he had ever even felt the same about me, it would bring his hopes up just for them to be crushed when I turned eighteen. I couldn’t do that to him. I couldn’t hurt him. Ever. We used to spend every waking moment with each other. Playing inside the pack house, outside, or in the clubhouse.
When I was twelve, my father found my diary. I stupidly left it on my bed when I went to shower and stepped out to find him sitting on my bed reading it. He looked pissed. He tossed it aside and met my gaze. “Haven’t I told you you would marry into rank? I’d grow out of that crush now before you get hurt. He’s an Omega, Tara. He’s inferior,” he growled. It wasn’t a discussion. The next week I began my Luna Training, even after my mother had pleaded with my father to change his mind. She said I was still too young, but he wasn’t hearing it. He took up all of my free time. I never got to spend time with Jayce anymore. We only saw each other in the halls at school. I wouldn’t have put it passed my father to ask them to separate us so we would never have the same class.
Slowly we drifted apart until we didn’t see each other at all. All the time alone led me to develop a love for books. I caught Jayce on the bus one day, reading the exact book I had become so engrossed with. It was by chance that I rode the bus that morning. My father or someone from his ranks would usually drop me off, but he had an important meeting that day and sent me on the bus. When I spoke with Jayce, it was like we had never stopped. It was so easy and comfortable to talk to him. I missed it. I quickly found myself yearning for any interaction with him, which wasn’t good. I didn’t want to give him or myself false hope.
That’s when I met Mason. He had always gone to school with us, but I had ignored him for obvious reasons. He was an Alpha and a player. At fifteen he had already had several ‘girlfriends’. I wasn’t into that. As soon as he set his sights on me, for whatever reason, but I thought my breasts was the obvious reason as they had just come in, he never backed down. He tried every approach, flirting, perving, behaving a gentleman, even the asshole approach. It wasn’t until I saw Jayce. He had also done a lot of growing up over the summer and I felt my primal desire for his body awaken within me. I needed to find a way to distract my mind from him. Mason seemed like my best bet. I let him woo me. Then it just kind of developed from there. I wasn’t stupid. I knew Mason still messed around with other she-wolf’s because he had a need that I didn’t want to fulfill. I didn’t care though. I couldn’t make myself care, though I tried. I knew I had lost all hope when I did something unthinkable.
Jayce was a bit of a nerd and had his only little group of nerdy friends. He usually hung out with the same two guys, Ernest and Danny. They usually were accompanied by a small red-haired female. She wore glasses and had freckles all over. She was a little cute thing and I had few classes with her. It was in one of these classes that I had found out that she had a little crush on Jayce. She was too busy doodling a little heart with Jayce’s name in it to notice me looking. My heart flooded with jealousy. She seemed to always follow him around like a lost puppy through the hall ways. I had seen her give him a kiss on his cheek one morning and run away, her face as red as a tomato, as was his. All I saw was red. I had to skip the rest of the day to keep from tearing her apart. The next day, before I could stop myself, I followed her into the girls bathroom.
“Out,” I said to the two girls reapplying their makeup in the mirror. They scrambled to leave, my Alpha aura radiating like a heater. Maribel opened the door to the stall very slowly and trembled as she stepped out, keeping her head down. When she tried to walk past me, I stepped in front of her.
“T-tara, is something wrong?” her frail voice came out softly.
“Yeah, there is,” I growled.
“You and Jayce, that stops now,” I said as her head timidly lifted to meet mine.
“B-but, me and Jayce are just friends,” she whispered looking confused.
“Well now you’re not. He’s mine,” I had growled and gripped her throat. Tears began to stream down her eyes and I blinked back my confusion. I had just almost strangled this tiny girl.
“Out!” I yelled.
She scurried out of the restroom and I walked over to the mirror. What the f**k was wrong with me? I had to get it together. I knew that I risked her running to tell Jayce, but the risk of them falling in love was greater. That’s when I knew my feelings for him ran deeper than I had thought. I knew I needed to keep Mason around for this reason. When my father found out about us, he was ecstatic. He told me of the betrothal. I was infuriated. We argued for hours until I had just stormed out of his office and into my room. How could he have done that? Plan my life like I was some sort of token piece. It was outrageous. That’s when the ‘perfect daughter’ idea snapped inside of me and I became rebellious. He would hand me over to my future husband as an impure, tainted possession. I planned to live the remainder of my life how I wanted and I made sure to remind him every time he punished me that what I did now wouldn’t matter if my life wasn’t my own. My mother tried to reason with him, but it was like talking to a brick wall. I knew his choice had caused a rift in their marriage and every time he punished me, they ended up arguing for hours. I told her to forget about me, stop standing up for me because it would get both of us nowhere and only make her relationship with my father strained. She never listened, though she stopped trying as hard.
As I got older and more experienced, my training became more rigorous. My father made me train at 5am every morning before school which is why I hated PE. Weekends, I trained a little later in the morning, but still had my day filled with tutors. I had been training the Saturday after my encounter with Jayce, when I caught his scent. I knew he always tended to the lawn on Saturday mornings, that’s why I wore my cheeky shorts and the push-up sports bra. I wasn’t trying to get a rise out of him, I knew he was too shy to act on impulse, I only wanted to look good for him. I had been training hard, trying to show off which I could tell was working, seeing as he had massacred the hedge he had been working on for ten minutes as he watched me. I couldn’t help myself. I walked right over to him as he fumbled with the cutter, dropping it clumsily with his nervousness. I smiled as his cheeks flushed. I was admiring his toned figure as he wiped the sweat from his eyes. He worked as grounds keeper and occasionally in construction which had toned his body. He was slender and cut, something that I found extremely sexy and couldn’t help flirting with him. He was always so easy to fluster. His chocolate scent mixed with the saltiness of his sweat had me riled up. I left before anyone could smell my arousal. But I couldn’t hold out any longer.
I texted him later that night, asking him to meet me at our spot which I was already at. I needed a break from that prison. I was surprised when he actually agreed to meet me. Jayce was anything, but rebellious. He was too innocent to get in trouble, even at school. I quickly found out that I could easily persuade him other wise. I couldn’t help the sense of hopelessness that filled me. I wished that my life had been different. That I would be able to find my mate and marry him instead of Mason and that my mate would have been Jayce. I felt like my father didn’t even love me. He was forcing this onto me, knowing that I did not want it. I hated this with every fibre of my being. He would not yield. My father had always been very sweet with me as a child, but his views on ranks and the betrothal of me to another pack had been two things he could never be dissuaded from. He was cruel in this way, claiming it was best for my future.
The chocolatey scent of Jayce invaded and filled the clubhouse when he entered. I beckoned him under the blankets with me, wanting to be close to him and feeling comforted by his presence. When he kissed my forehead, I was done for. His soft, silky lips had me imagining all sorts of things. All sense I had was gone the minute our lips met. Everything telling me to stop, that this wasn’t a good idea to get carried away were smothered away as I tasted his mouth. I could feel his hard d**k against me and when he tried to back away I wrapped my leg around him, enjoying the feel of it against my core. I wanted more, but I couldn’t push him. He kissed so well, I wanted to know- No. I needed to know if he had kissed anyone else. He blushed at my question and I knew instantly I had been his first. My heart both hurt that I had stolen his first kiss, knowing that this could go no further, but soared knowing that there had been no other woman, but me.
The latter got the best of me and guided him to a sitting position against the wall. I felt drunk with power, knowing I was his first. I was his first kiss. I wanted to be every single one of his firsts. I needed to be every single one of his firsts. I was eager to feel his c**k against me again. I wanted to feel his lips on mine once more and to feel his hands on my body. I straddled him, placing his timid hands on my thighs. I took his lips in mine and kissed him passionately. His lips were soft against mine and I felt intoxicated by the warmth of his mouth. The ends of his black hair fell slightly on his forehead. He had that typical, nerd kid hair cut, although his reminded me more of a Clark Kent. His thick black glasses made his mesmerizing caramel eyes slightly bigger, which I thought was sexy, but I loved seeing his eyes without them. His face was smooth revealing the dimples in his cheeks that I wanted to stick my tongue in.
This was everything I had been dreaming of for so long and it was even better than I had imagined. I ground my hips against his c**k, enjoying the feeling of it. He suppressed a moan, but I encouraged him on. I loved to hear that it felt just as good for him as it did for me. Something about being this intimate with him had me feeling strangely empowered. I felt myself getting close and I bid him to kiss my neck. I wanted him to possess me, to ravish me, but he needed a little guidance. I didn’t mind being his teacher. He kissed me softly until I felt his d**k stiffening, he was close. Then he kissed me hard, nipping my marking spot and pushing me over the edge. How did he know about that spot? My phone went off as we came down from our high. My father. Our night was cut short as we went our separate ways, yet my body felt strangely satiated.
“Oh and by the way, Happy Birthday Jayce,” I say, handing him the book I got for his present. The look on his face confirmed my suspicions that he thought I forgot his birthday. But how could I? It was ingrained in my memory, just like his phone number.