Rejected but still desired

Secrets

Ethan POV:

I was standing outside, in the border of the forest watching her as she burst through the blue plastic doors. She paused and my heart stopped, sensing that she would notice me but instead she looked up at the sky, allowed herself to feel the rain before she continued to walk home. I needed to tell tell her but how? I watched her walk away and even with the rain all I could smell was the scent of citrus. It was all I could taste in my mouth from being so close to her but I honestly didn't know how to tell her. It's been hell since last month when I turned eighteen. She didn't know and I don't know if she would ever know at this point. I sighed and slunk back into the trees. I was always watching but never doing anything, even if she did find out I was her mate, she would reject me. Selena is so strong and self assured, I am not. I pushed myself up and started running, I needed the release. I shifted into my wolf and ran with the rain and the lightning.

Selena POV:

I felt like I was being watched but that was normal for me, feeling like I was being followed also normal. Many people in the pack disliked me and would either stare or follow to beat the s**t out of me, like Alice or Isaac. They were close minded trolls honestly. As I approached the pack house, I started to jog up the stairs to get inside before I got punished for something stupid like purposely drudging the floors or something. You never know with these people.

Ethan POV:

No matter how much I ran, I found myself drenched and watching her. I could sense her unease, she probably sensed me. I continued to watch the way her loose shirt clung to her now and my wolf was going crazy. He just wanted to be with her or atleast near her. He needed to breathe in that breath of citrus from her burgundy colored hair as I held her close and tight in my arms. Then she started running through the pack doors and I felt my heart deflate a bit. I trotted up to the back of the pack house and changed back. I'm going to tell her. I took a deep breath and brushed my hair back before pushing through the doors.

Selena POV:

The alpha wasn't in and luckily most of the staff had their own chores they were busy with during the day. Probably too busy to notice me. I scrambled to my room and peeled off the heavy clothing, pulling on some dry clothes but trust me, I was going to have a hot shower and I had the perfect plan. I then ran to the janitor room and grabbed the new linen, towels, sheets, cleaning materials and started to push my cart towards the high born rooms. "Selena!" Called Ro when she saw me heading upstairs, "why are you home early?" She asked. Ro was the head cleaner at the pack house. "I didn't feel great." She narrowed her eyes at me, sceptical as usual. "Clean Ethan's room," she said, her lips were in a straight line, "why? What happened to Anja?" I asked and she clicked her tongue at me, annoyed by my questions as always. "It's none of your business," said Ro and then she added, "she is sick." I nodded and turned away. I knew what sick meant in this pack. Anja was not sick, instead she had found her mate and he had done to her what so many do everyday. Also, it didn't matter if you were dying, The Eastern Moon Pack never provided health care for the low ranking wolves. I drag the cart up the stairs and even though I'm starving and feeling drained, I remind myself of the hot shower on this cold day and maybe even a nap on the soft bed. Ethan's room was large and Anja had been cleaning it for three years now and only her. Ethan only felt wanted Anja to clean the room so I wonder how he would freak now if he knew it was me. Alice would have a hernia and Isaac would probably want to blow my brains out. Lucky for me. Cleaning Ethan's room meant that I could probably have some of his snacks and replace it when I check the inventory list. I smiled to myself and remembered instantly that I needed to suppress it or risk the Moon Goddess striking me down for it.

Once I scanned myself into Ethan's room, I was hit with this strong smell of mint. It was so calming and delicious. It must be his room spray. Higher ranking wolves had all kinds of fancy stuff they used in their rooms. I remember being impressed with all of it when I was little... I quickly suppressed that memory before I kicked myself into a depressive episode. I ran to the bathroom and undressed and got into his shower, it was so amazing. It was hot and the pressure was working my back in a way that I never experienced before. For a guy, Ethan had so many nice spelling body washes and I used a bit of all of them as I washed. After an hour, I was dry, my towel on the floor, I was back in my clothes and under the warm covers, his bed at self heating and it was so soft. Before I knew it, the warmth had put me to sleep like a little baby.