Chapter 49
I watched him that night, from a distance. He fell asleep on watch again, his body twitching, and all I could do was watch. Before, I would have gone to him and sat next to him. Before I would have allowed him to lean on my shoulder, grip my wrist as hard as he needed, and just be there for him. But now everything felt...different. I love him, but I can’t have him, and I was afraid if I was too close to him then I'd never be able to control myself. Now that I know what this feeling is, what this feeling I've felt growing stronger and stronger is, it feels unbearable. All-consuming, this want, this need. I needed to stay away from him, for his sake, and mine. I couldn’t mess anything up, kingdoms depended on me.
We went back to the road, and it seemed like it took ten times lo
