The change ( his mate)

Chapter 30: Opening up

Lara

I was too scared to tell Grayson yet and chicken that I am I convinced myself I could wait to tell him, people waited until they were three months to tell family and friends right? So I had three months.

I hid the tests in my underwear drawer and when it started to grow dark I went with Grayson to stake out the wendigos again, this time Amber joined us.

It seemed quiet tonight, no sign of the wendigos. I watched Amber and Grayson murmuring about something together and my heart skipped a beat, she wouldn’t tell him would she? No, so why were they whispering?

An old fear crept up on me, would he leave me? Were they flirting? Earlier they’d been play fighting and messing around, and now they were quietly whispering together, what could they be talking about that they didn’t want me to hear?

You couldn’t hide much from werewolves, we’d still hear you if you whispered, or if you were on the phone we’d hear the person you were speaking to as clearly as if they were right beside you, so the fact they were so quiet my wolf hearing couldn’t even pick it up meant they didn’t want me to hear.

They broke apart when I came over to them and Grayson pulled me into his arms. I fought the urge to wriggle out of them, that would just look suspicious and I didn’t want them knowing I’d noticed the whispering.

I could drone on about the rest of the night, but honestly, it was boring, nothing happened, the wendgios didn’t leave.

Grayson didn’t follow me to bed when I headed up. He’d never not come up with me before and I ignored the pang of hurt when I saw him go sit beside Amber in the living room.

I shut my door, got ready for bed and climbed in. I tried to tell myself I was being silly, he would never hurt me and Amber was also dating Leo, she loved Leo, so why couldn’t I shake this horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach.

I tossed and turned until I eventually fell into a restless sleep and when I next opened my eyes daylight was streaming in between the window blinds. I turned to see Grayson asleep beside me, he must have come in when I’d fallen asleep.

I climbed out of bed and walked around it stubbing my toe on the corner, the pain that radiated through me ruined my stealthy exit as I cursed, “mother f.uck!”

Grayson woke up to see me holding my foot hopping and laughed, “you alright, darling?”

“I’m fine, go back to sleep,” I growled.

That only made him laugh more, when he tried to pull me to him, I shoved a pillow in his face. He grabbed my wrist and yanked me down on top of him. “Come on darling, where’s my good morning kiss?” He grinned.

“Not here.” I folded my arms and he planted a kiss on my lips, I poked my tongue out making him splutter and reel back. “Ew, f.uck!”

I laughed at his face and he held his hands out to tickle me, I jumped up off the bed, ran towards the door and tripped over his clothes on the floor landing in a sprawled heap.

Grayson fell to his knees laughing so hard he lost air. I kicked him in the chest when he tried coming towards me and then I got up and ran down the stairs.

He caught up to me and grabbed me into a headlock. I grabbed his leg and yanked up sending us both crashing to the floor. I tried to pin him, but he pinned me first, I wriggled and fought, but couldn’t escape.

“Darling, you keep wriggling against me like that I’m only going to get more excited.”

Ignoring him I used all my strength to both grab the side of his neck and throw my body weight to the side so that now he was the one underneath me.

“I win,” I grinned as I pinned his wrists above his head.

“I beg to differ, pretty sure I’m the winner,” he grinned.

I felt him hard underneath me and narrowed my eyes at him. “Grayson, behave.”

“What? I can’t help being attracted to you, or responding when you’re on top of me.”

I snorted and climbed off him. I had barely turned my back on him when he was behind me. “I mean it, I’m so attracted to you.”

I smiled shyly and cringingly giggled when he kissed my neck.

“You’re beautiful, darling.”

I turned in his arms and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek against his chest.

We ate breakfast with Amber and Leo, but I didn’t eat much of mine, I didn’t feel that hungry and I could feel the nausea sort of lingering and threatening to make itself known.

“I’m getting dressed and going into town,” I told everyone and stood up.

“Why?” Grayson asked.

Looking nervously at Leo and Grayson I said, “I want to get a job.”

“You don’t need to, you have us to take care of you,” Grayson replied.

Amber lightly touched his arm and said, “I suspect she knows that, but wants some independence.”

“Exactly,” I agreed.

Grayson looked like he wanted to argue, but Amber said, “we can drive with her into town can’t we and hang out around the shops while we let her go do some job hunting.”

He grumbled about it, but agreed in the end.

When the other pack members came in to join us for breakfast I headed up to get ready. The pack didn’t always join us, with their own little adjoining homes they could eat there and often did, but every so often they’d walk in and join us at Leo’s.

I did my hair in a simple braid and let a few loose strands free to hang down. I wore some light makeup, just some eyeshadow, mascara, concealer for under my eyes. I didn’t bother with makeup anymore, hadn’t since I’d become a werewolf, I’d spent too much time learning to control my wolf urges and growing used to the change, and then I’d learned Grayson didn’t care about makeup and all that stuff anyway, but I had to look presentable if I expected anyone to want to hire me.

I ran down the stairs and tripped on the last one crashing into Leo’s back as he walked by. He was holding a glass of water that sloshed everywhere as he stumbled forward. “Jesus Lara, you don’t need to bomb it down the stairs like that.”

“Sorry,” I grinned sheepishly.

He gave a mock frown and walked off.

“Ready, darling?” Grayson called out. He was at the door already with Amber and my heart skipped a beat seeing them together, I tried to calm it otherwise they’d hear it, and then I went over to them. “Yep, I’m ready.”

Leo decided it was safe to do what we wanted during the day, that the wendigos would only attempt to hunt at night, so we had until nightfall before we needed to go keep an eye on them.

When we were in town, Grayson only said, “meet back here at the fountain in about an hour?”

I nodded and then he was off with Amber, nothing like how he usually was, normally he’d want to come with me and again that horrible feeling was in the pit of my stomach as I watched them walk off together, and then I really had something bad in my stomach and had to run to the nearest toilet and throw up.

I waited until it was empty in the toilets before coming out and rinsing my mouth with some water and still worrying about Grayson, had I pushed him away too much? Had he finally decided I was too much trouble to bother with? Or was it what I’d feared the most? That when he finally got me he’d grow bored without the chase.

I was worrying too much I told myself and shook myself out of it. I wanted a job because I wanted to be able to save the money for the baby and everything we’d need, I didn’t want to have to rely on poor Leo to fork out for us. I could take care of myself and the baby.

I hunted around the shops and asked inside for any available jobs, I tried Starbucks, but they weren’t looking for anyone, I tried some clothes shops, same situation, I finally tried a bookstore called ‘where your dreams come to life.’ They were looking for someone who could do part time work, nine to one which was perfect. I had a job interview appointment with them on Monday at ten.

I was looking around for Grayson and Amber, trying to weave through the crowds without touching anyone, I was still searching when a man stepped in my path blocking the way.

“Wow, didn’t think we had any female werewolves over here.”

My eyes shot up to his brown ones and the smell hit me, another werewolf. He was around six foot three, burly and solid, twice my age and bald with a full neck tattoo, I looked down to see his left arm missing, and on the right his middle finger was missing too.

I tried to give a polite smile, but he took that as an invitation to step into my personal space. “Wanna come for a drink?” He asked.

“No thank you, I’m looking for my mate.”

“Just one drink, by the time you’re done he’ll probably be back.”

Ew, he was creeping me out and I took an instinctive step back, I’m not sure what he would have done next, but he looked over my shoulder and his whole face paled and drained of colour. I looked behind me to see Grayson walking towards us with Amber.

“Graysons your mate?” He asked.

I nodded and he looked like he might be sick or would pass out, he mumbled something unintelligible to me never taking his eyes of Grayson and then he turned and quickly rushed off before breaking into a run. What the hell?

“There you are,” Grayson said as he reached me. “Who was that?”

“Uh, no idea, but he seemed terrified of you.”

“Hm, what’s he look like?”

“He had a missing arm and a finger, bald, burly dude.”

He shook his head and rolled his eyes. “Riley, he’s a f.ucking i.diot but mostly harmless.”

“He wanted me to go for a drink with him.”

Grayson’s face was cold and unreadable. “I bet he f.ucking did the pervert.”

“Why is he so scared of you?”

Grayson shrugged and tried to steer me back towards the car, but I pulled my arm out of his grip. “Grayson, why was he so scared?” He flicked his gaze to Amber then back to me and murmured, “later. Please.”

I let it go and Amber suggested we get some lunch before heading back. We weaved our way through the crowds of shoppers trying not to be overwhelmed by the noise of loud chatter, children’s cries, an argument between a couple a few feet ahead, even the clang of someone’s keys clanging to the floor grated on my nerves, it was all so loud.

A man hellbent on getting to his destination almost knocked an elderly woman flying on his way past, Grayson caught her arm before she fell and asked, “are you alright?”

A little embarrassed she laughed and said, “oh yes, I’m fine dear, thank you, crowds these days in this town are terrible.” She was dusting herself off and when she looked up at Grayson she swallowed. “My, you’re a strapping young man aren’t you.”

He smiled politely and let her do some small talk as he veered her into a safer less crowded area and politely excused himself.

I put the back of my hand against his head and asked, “you feeling alright? Where’s Grayson gone.”

He slapped my hand away from him. “Behave woman, even the wolf in me knows you respect the elderly, I’m not a complete monster.”

“Pfft, if you say so.”

He shoved me and I shoved him back almost sending him toppling into the fountain.

It was a big fountain too, circular with water gushing from the top and flowing down with statues of two horses and a shield. Grayson managed to grab my top, saving himself from falling right in, but instead falling on his a.ss on the fountains wall and making me fall forward onto my knees between his legs.

We got some looks and I blushed furiously while Grayson was oblivious and grinned down at me, “this looks promising.”

My head was inches from his crotch and I quickly scrambled away and got on to my feet.

“Come on you two lovebirds,” Amber laughed, dragging Grayson up.

We made it to a small restaurant in the end. It wasn’t too busy which made us anti-socials happy. We slid into the red leather booths and ordered our food. Grayson made me order his food for him so he wouldn’t have to speak to the pretty waitress who kept eyeing him up.

It was a wonder he’d ever fallen for me when he had such distaste for humans. I’d asked him once and he’d said something about me being different, which wasn’t really an answer, I’d have to ask him for a more detailed answer next time.

We enjoyed lunch with few words, Grayson was his most quiet when eating, he loved his food. The most anyone heard from our table was the occasional murmur and the clinking of glasses.

When we got back, me and Grayson did some training and sparring for a few hours and then we got ready to go stake out our wendigos again.

When we were leaning against the wall at our usual spot to watch them from I asked him, “are you going to tell me now?”

“What?”

“About the werewolf that practically ran from you earlier today.”

He folded his arms looking more intimidating if you didn’t know him, I knew by now it was what he did when he was uncomfortable and feeling awkward about something.

“You know what I do for the pack.”

“As the enforcer you mean?”

He nodded, and I asked, “I know you punish pack members if they do something that risks exposing us or committing a crime against someone, but I don’t think you’ve ever punished any of the pack since I’ve been here, so I don’t know what it really entails.”

“Can’t I just say it’s bad enough that I’ve not needed to punish any of the pack for years and leave it at that?”

“No, I want a real answer, I’d like if you’d open up to me and also explain why it has anything to do with that guy earlier.”

He grew more irritated and angry, he didn’t say or do anything, but I could feel it in his energy, Grayson has always had such a strong energy about him, a very alpha energy and I could sometimes pick up through our bond his feelings just by being near that energy.

“Why can’t you tell me?” I asked.

“Because it’s not something I want to share with you, I don’t want to share that part of me with my mate.”

“You don’t trust me?” His words hurt.

He looked over at my face and his softened. “No darling, of course I trust you, thats not the issue, I just, it’s a dark part of me I don’t want you to see or know about.”

“You think I couldn’t handle it?”

He shrugged. “It’s pretty f.ucked up the s.hit I have to do to keep the pack safe and I don’t want you to run screaming. You wouldn’t look at me the same way if you knew.”

A cold gust of wind whipped through my hair and face sending a shiver through me, I ignored the cold and put my hand on Graysons arm. “Please talk to me, I could never look at you differently, you’re a good man, Grayson, I know that. Whatever you do it’s always for the best interests of the pack and our safety.”

He was looking down at the floor and mumbled, “I can’t, I’ve only just got you back, I can’t lose you again.”

“Grayson, I’m not going anywhere, tell me about that man,” I tried keeping my voice calm, but I was growing a little frustrated, the more he didn’t want to tell me the more I wanted to know.

Sighing, he stood up straight and met my eyes with his blue ones. “His arm was missing you said? And his middle finger on the right hand?”

I nodded and he really looked at me trying to drive the point home when he said, “how do you think he ended up like that?”

It sunk in then, it should have the moment I saw the man run from Grayson. “You did that to him?” I tried not to gulp or he’d completely clam up and never talk to me about it again.

He gave a nod.

“Why the middle finger?”

He snorted at that and said, “f.ucker flipped me off, I threatened to keep chopping parts off if he wanted, soon shut him up.”

Fear flooded me as I realised just how terrifying and dangerous Grayson was, but I forced it away before he could smell it and managed to ask, “why did you do it?”

“He came onto pack territory without notifying us, I caught his scent in our woods, caught him a few days later lurking outside our place, he was working up the courage to challenge Leo.”

“You did that before he even tried anything?”

“I had to, I can’t just wait for someone to do something and then act or it makes our pack look weak.”

“No it wouldn’t, acting after they’ve tried something would be just as effective.”

He grew angry and not quite growling the words said, “no, we’d be no different to any other pack, I wanted us to stand out, to make sure every wolf knows that if they mess with us it will be a slow and painful death for them, that I don’t f.uck around.”

“So you maimed him for life for something he was only contemplating on doing?”

“Better to attack while the problems small before it becomes a big problem that gets out of hand. He learnt his lesson and now him and everyone else knows the stories about me are true, we’ve not had any problems since.”

“What stories? What else have you done?”

“Worse, much worse and that’s all you need to know and it’s all I’m going to tell you.”

I did see him in a different light now, but not for the reasons he feared, I wasn’t going to run off in terror and leave him, yes he was very dangerous, but I also knew as a wolf myself that this was a good thing, it’s what I wanted, he could keep me and our baby safe, no one would touch us if they knew we were his family and this is what mattered most to me, that our baby would be safe.

The werewolf world was dangerous and violent, there was no discrimination when it came to fights and violence between males and females, challenges were always happening, rival packs were always a worry and so on.

I didn’t know much, but I knew Grayson was the most feared werewolf, not just in our country but worldwide, everyone knew he was more wolf than human and everyone thought he was a psychopath, some deranged mad man who got off on t.orture and was a dangerously good fighter, the best out there and so they stayed away, he wouldn’t tell me why they thought this, but after what I’d just learnt, I could take a guess it involved t.orture, did I want to know more? Yes, I was curious by nature, but for now I left it alone. He could keep us safe and that’s all that mattered.