Master Gallagher

Called me pregnant

Ginger.

Raw eggs.

Pineapples.

Cinnamon.

That's what I was being forced to eat/drink. My mother had very funny indigenous methods of avoiding pregnancy. I didn't fully trust it but when my mother's much older friend from the commune started explaining properly. I suddenly had a little bit of hope.

"Drink raw eggs twice per day."

"Add ginger to a pan of boiling water, after five minutes turn off the stove and strain the mixture. Drink two cups of ginger every single day."

It didn't end there.

"Cinnamon also causes miscarriage and abortion. I'd advise you take it later if all fails. If all fails don't worry, I have know other herbs."

My heart immediately dropped at the word abortion. I was not and would never be a baby killer. I would never be able to live with myself knowing that I did that. I would honestly rather be shamed for having an affair with a married men on a higher stature than mine... as opposed to killing an innocent.. child.

"Pineapples reduce sperm count for males but I'd still say don't take a chance. Have it as well just to be safe. Do not worry Nashe, your mother and I are here for you and nothing will happen. We are very learned in such instances."

"Yes... do not stress yourself dear. Aunt Ruth has had over five miscarriages over the last ten years."

My eyes bulged out of their sockets.

Aunt Ruth immediately rolled her eyes. "I would never ever give a white men the right to sell off my children. I'd rather they not live to see life at all."

I did not want to think about it. This made me sick to my stomach. Growing up, I admired these two women so much. Now that they were letting me in on their secrets... I just couldn't see them the same. I knew they had their reasons but at the same time it still bothered me.

Trying really hard not to think. I swallowed a cup of raw eggs. I had added a third egg because of my anxiety. It was eating me up, I felt horrible so horrible the taste didn't seem to bother me. As long as it would avoid conception of anything that I was not entirely ready for. Something that I would get punished for and something that would eventually take my life.

"You can not still be possibly angry at me?" I heard someone say behind me. I closed my eyes, trying really hard not to act out of impulse. His voice suddenly aggravated me. I still did not turn around. Yes, I was still angry. I also did not want him to know the things that I was doing so avoid conception. He was a doctor; he would probably make me feel beyond witless and dull. I knew all too well, he would probably make a sarcastic comment that would leave me with low self esteem.

I had no idea that he had went to University of St Andrews. Immediately after I knew that.. it made me feel very insecure. There was no way in hell, we would ever be together. Not only because of race but as well as class. I spent more time making mud castles while other kids were in school.

"I will be angry at you, for the rest of my life... if this happens." I replied turning around. His eyes immediately found mine. I looked away. I wouldn't allow him to manipulate me with those stolen glances that—

I-i m-missed..!

"I really doubt that."

"That's because you're an arrogant bastard. You always want and think things will go your way or that I owe you something. I don't owe you anything... I do not owe you anything."

He clenched his jaw as I said this. It made me nervous because I couldn't exactly comprehend how he would react to my outrage. Maybe he would lay his hands on me again... I shouldn't forget that he does and will always have an upper hand.

"Just cancel this cheap junky poor wedding and stop stringing him along when you know that deep down you only love one man and it's not him adding to the fact that you're carrying my child."

"No, I'm not!" I said almost immediately. "It's only been a month.." I tried to justify my answer. I knew he would make a remark out of my lack of knowledge. He always enjoyed making me look ridiculous.

"Mood swings are common in the first trimester." He steadily replied. "I notice your many trips to the bathroom."

"Well that's where you're wrong, Doctor Gallagher!" I mocked. "I only go there to relive myself not to spew."

"...exactly!" He shrugged.

My throat immediately became dry.

"Passing urine frequently can also be influenced by pressure on the woman's bladder from her growing uterus.." He said with ease. This made me so galled that I could only attempt to walk past him. Attempt because he held me back. After doing all these herbal methods, how could this be happening to me.

"Everything will be fine." He added pulling me into his strong rigid arms. I felt so vulnerable that I didn't hesitate finding comfort in his arms.

"..are you happy now?" I said in a muffled voice against his chest.

"Not if you keep crying.."

"They will kill me. Your father will kill me, Will. You know how he is, he will end me the minute he finds out. Your wife will kill me.."

"That's why you can't tell anyone anything. At least not until our child arrives.."

Oddly hearing him say this made my heart simmer with butterflies. I couldn't get it through my mind.. "Our child."

"Am I really?"

"If you aren't, I won't stop trying but I know you're."

"I don't want to hurt him like this.."

"I know love, but we have to use him as a pawn in our game. If they knew you were pregnant with my child.. you wouldn't live to carry out full term. If they think it's his child then it's much safer that way.."

"But I haven't—"

"I know love, I know you haven't and hurts to think about it but you will have to..." He cleared his throat. "Allow him to.." He clenched his jaw. "Lay with you.."

"My mother said the same thing but I can't—" I allowed William to see me most vulnerable.

"You have to do it.. for us."

"I'm scared."

"Don't be.."

"He thinks, I'm a virgin and he wants to wait for our wedding night." I explained.

"Not everyone bleeds when it's their first time. Tell him that.." William whispered, our lips were at close proximity, we were practically breathing the same air.

"I can't.."

"You ca—"

We heard footsteps and fright was the only thing that ran through my body. I quickly shifted away from him. It was very shocking how we had managed to let go of each other within seconds and be this far apart.

William cleared his throat. "Tracy.. I was just telling Panashe that just because she is to wed it doesn't mean she must slack off her chores."

Lady Tracy sighed. "William stop bothering the girl." She paused before calling me again. "Panashe come let me do the measurements."

As I walked away.. William winked at me.