Bound To A Bully

Chapter 1

Regan

"Why did you bring me here?" I say to the man in the driver's seat as I gaze away from the courthouse.

It is supposed to be a big day in my life. I planned to sleep the rest of the day and come up with an excuse to cancel my plan to attend my friend's wedding to avoid someone certain for many reasons and quietly leave New York overnight for good.

I won't call myself a coward for that, but I don't want to be embarrassed anymore before him. The thought of leaving him is killing me, but I am tired. I am sure it won't hurt Lincoln for a bit. He makes it clear that he doesn't want me, but I desire him.

"You will know if you watch those people around there carefully," Dino says, lighting a cigarette with his lighter.

I arch my eyebrows at him and follow his gaze once again.

Many people pass by while walking or in their vehicles with different intentions that I don't want to know. I have been here many times to watch them closely, only to choose one person whose movements would look foreboding in my eyes and inform Dino quickly to confirm them fast before transferring my pay to my account with just a swift move of his finger on his phone screen.

No one knows about the kind of job I do part-time. No one. It is not something I am passionate about doing but forced to after getting caught red-handed by Dino in a jewelry store uh-hu robbery who was on duty two years ago. My scholarship in school can't fill my stomach or help me to clear the debts I had after moving to this city. It is so expensive that it still gives me a nosebleed.

Dino didn't put me in jail for that but threw the others instead. He couldn't find it in his heart to be so cruel to me when I handed him over everything and shared some information about the other nasty people who sell drugs to high schoolers who couldn't be a year older than my neighbor's thirteen-year-old daughter. I also had some information about those dealers who sell guns illegally, which helped Dino and his team in more ways than one. All I wanted was to be a racer. But I didn't know I had to do robbery to get them to give me lessons as I wished to take my grand entry to the New York Racing Circuit and race like a pro for money, of course.

"Just notice them and do nothing?" Turning my gaze back to him, I look at him, offended, with a hint of disbelief in my eyes. "You remember I have a wedding to attend..., right?" Besides, I have quit this job already. He can't make me work for him anymore.

He watches as the cigarette burns between his fore and middle finger and says, "You even feel comfortable among those criminals?"

"I don't,"

I say firmly, which has me get his attention fast. Opening his mouth before he says something, I beat him to it.

"But if you ask me to choose between your brigade and them, I will always choose them over you."

Leaning my back to my seat, I watch his eyes flash with anger, which replaces by his usual blank look, and his lips curl down after realizing something. . .a kind of boundary they can never cross, no matter how dedicated and passionate they are about their job.

"Before joining this service, you vow to bring justice to the innocent and punish the culprit. But when reality strikes in, you can only think about how to protect your job and your family, not wanting them to die for you offending some political figure you shouldn't."

My words aren't harsh, but I see him flinch in his place.

Quickly regaining his composure, he challenges me, "So, to you, we should leave the law and justice in the hands of the mafias."

And that has me choking on my spit.

"You know what I meant by that." I spat, narrowing my eyes at him. "So, I suggest you . . . don't put your words in my mouth."

If I die one day, I will be well aware of what about me makes others feel threatened and come to me for my assassination. They can kill me after considering me weak yet precious someone to my brother to show him that they can kill me if they want, or anything I don't know for now, but they..., those innocent people will never know what their fault is that has them punished or brutally killed.

"Do you have a solution to solve this?" He asks, sniffing the smock from the window. I know he doesn't smoke. But when he gets upset or sees something isn't going in his predicament, he burns a cigarette, sniffs the smoke, and watches the ashes fall.

I let out a breath as I look at him cautiously. "If I tell you the politicians are true crime lords, would that . . . hurt?"

The nerve of me speaking spiteful things about the system before the courthouse with a person like Dino beside me!

Luckily, a smile breaks onto his face, else...,

But he won't throw me in jail no matter what. I am a precious criminal in his department who gets paid to bring them information. Then again, they have no power over some points- like spying on my friends' families. I won't do that for safety reasons, and I don't want to be a traitor in my friend's eyes. With Dino being my shield, I always manage to get away from that kind of talk.

"You still can't remember how you ended up in the sea that day."

His statement takes me off-guard.

"Will you help me to get justice for his sister if I remember those faces one day?"

I look at Dino with expectation in my eyes, but he says nothing comforting or bothering to give me his word that he would help me.

I feel my throat clogged when I start telling him what I shared with him before without caring if he wants to listen to me or not.

"I can't see him like this, Dino." My vision blurs. "The first day we met, I thought he was one of those careless rich brats, the jocks you want to avoid like the plague. But when I come to know him, see through him..., that different person underneath him, I suddenly realize how wrong I have been about that guy whom I judge fast without knowing him in person."

Lincoln and I have one thing in common.

We are both still in the dark, but he is still fighting so hard that he is losing control over his emotions.

He needs someone there to hold him. I know he needs someone, someone to listen to him.

He has everyone there, but no one can connect with him, with his pain. I wanted to be that person, someone he could rely on, but I couldn't be. No matter how much he tries, he can't fight the feeling. He will always see me as that person for whom his sister died.

"Then he hurt you." Dino snorts and breaks the train of my thoughts. Throwing that cigarette out of the window of his side, he tells me, "Not a good person you make it seem like he is. It's your hormone talking, child. Get a grip on yourself."

I look at him in utter shock and disbelief.

"Indeed, Lincoln is handsome, and in my eyes, he is the most stunning and genius guy in school. Girls never get tired of watching him all day. It is not his fault that everyone wants a taste of him. I get jealous seeing them hovering over him. It sometimes seems like he pulls them close deliberately. I know he does that to push me away from him. But I stayed."

I glare hard at him and pause for some time to let my words sink into his head.

"I stayed not because of my hormone..., not because I want a taste of him like every girl." My voice goes rougher than usual. "It's because I know his heart. Emotionally connected, I was with him at first. But..., but I have to let him go now."

My face drops when control slips from my grasp.

The person I crave has shown me his every side to me. He thinks I will be scared of him for everything he did to me.

Little does he know I am as damaged as he is.

But I was wrong about one thing about him.

He was never as weak as I thought he was.

Maybe or just maybe, I am not the one for him and will never be the one whose shoulder he will choose to cry on...,

I didn't notice how the man beside me stiffened after hearing my decision about me leaving Lincoln for good.

"W-why?"

Suddenly he stammers, which makes me look at him in shock, and my gray eyes lock with his greenish-brown eyes, the same shade as Lincoln's, but he doesn't have that rare blue flecks that Lincoln has in his eyes. His lips press in a thin line, tight. It doesn't go unnoticed, the way he has his fingers curled on the steering wheel, knuckles turning white slowly.

Clearing his throat, he says, "I mean, if you want him, then why? Why do you want to let him go? You should talk with him, tell him that you've got him, that you won't let him be and ruin his life. . .kill himself in the process of justice he can never get."

I stay quiet and listen to him, staring blankly at space.

I won't stop him from doing what he wants. My brother didn't, too, when he was in Lincoln's place.

Maxim Turgenev, he is..., my long-lost elder brother, the only family alive.

I thought I was an orphan.

The hell I have been through is terrific. Never have I ever thought that I would finally come to know about my family. A part of me is happy getting to meet him, but the other part of my soul is burning with regret for bringing misfortune into Lincoln's life.

"I brought you here today to help you with your career choice. But it seems as though you don't want to think about it right now." I was confused about what I wanted to do next, so I asked for his help last week. Dino isn't wrong when he says that. My already preoccupied mind can only think about ending things up with Lincoln and freeing myself from my misery. "I still want you to think again. Don't rush things, or the regret will be lifelong."

Wow! Was that you who called me a hormonal girl, Dino?

Narrowing my eyes, I look at his face and try to see through his mind, but the Oldman is damn stubborn and hard-faced.

The man beside me is a lone wolf. No one has ever seen him care about anyone, but still, he is here. Dino, the ex-army commander, is like he naturally can connect with everything around him but intends to remain detached from everything.

Dino's partner has the same thought about him too. Like when you talk with him, you will feel like he is a people person. But when you start to know him better, you will see the crack in him. So, now when he tells me to speak up and talk my heart out with Lincoln, it sounds so unlikely to him. Not the person I thought I knew who prioritized duty over family. But then again, he is an Oldman with knowledge and life experience, and I am just a high-school graduate with zero memory of my survival throughout my whole life.

It makes me think again.

Maybe I should talk with him for once.

"Did you hear what I said?"

I look at Dino and give him a firm nod.

.

.

.

.

.

At Ana's reception throughout the event, I feel his gaze on me fixed.

I steal glances at him, and my heart drops to the pit of my stomach every time I see him making out with the girl sitting on his lap.

He does it to hurt me, I know.

Swallowing the lump in my throat, I turn my gaze to the stage where kids start gathering for a heartwarming show, not wanting his presence to affect me this time.

After Dino dropped me at my apartment, I quickly took a nap and dressed up to attend the wedding on time.

At first, I didn't want to come here, but it was my friend's wedding. I couldn't miss it just because I wanted to avoid Lincoln. Besides, I promised Dino that I would talk with Lincoln. No matter what, I have to keep my word.

Waiting is like a disease that kills softly without one's realizing it.

It may make one pay the price, and I am no different.

I raise my head and feel a spark when my eyes meet his.

My heartbeat increases. My vision gets blurry with tears of grief.

Even if I break down before him, he will never understand the reason behind my tears.

Like me, he is also watching me unblinkingly.

His jaw sets tight, and his lips purse in a thin line.

The frown on his face and his grip on his wine glass make it clear he is thinking something very hard.

Soon his expression turns gloomier. Giving me a pissed look, he gets up from his seat and walks out of the hall.

He is running away again, I know.

But tonight, he can't.

We can't avoid this conversation anymore.

Deep down, I still want him to tell me to stay.

He has the power to make me stay here, but he needs to be vocal about it.

I am not good at it. I never was.

I wish...,

Lincoln becomes a piece of me that I wish I didn't need.

But my pain is mine alone.

I won't share it with anyone, even if it freezes my heart and takes me to my grave.

I spent my entire life alone in the darkness. Coldness is what I know and feel with or without him, just like those colors- grey, black and white. I am familiar with them as they are what I see around me, so I believe I can manage the rest of my life like this.

But I have to confirm that he doesn't want me anymore.

I smile bitterly at my misery and life.

With a heavy heart, I turn my heel and head outside to look for him. . .to give him what he has always wanted from me.