Her Semi-Colon

Chapter 9: Who are you?

As my Dad was driving us to the station, I locked eyes with him in the rearview mirror. His dark brown eyes read of disappointment and failure. He couldn't even look at me for that long…After we had locked eyes, he rubbed his face in annoyance. I immediately looked away and bit my lip.

I still felt numb from the alcohol but I could tell I was sad. I glanced at the rearview mirror again seeing my mom cry. When she saw me looking at her, she turned away and wiped her tears immediately.

“Do you think our parents love me?" I asked Lace after I came home from elementary school one day.

My sister just tossed me a confused expression. “Why would you say that sis? They love you just as much as I love you."

“I don't know that," I muttered. “I don't think that's true."

“Why not?"

“Because I'm not what they want me to be?"

“What's that?"

Like you, I thought at that time. However, I said this instead, “...happy."

Ever since I was a kid, I felt empty inside, almost as if I didn't exist. I didn't understand why I felt that way, but my parents reminded me time and time again that this wasn't normal. I tried to fill the void with reading books and studying. It reminded me of my importance and it allowed me to escape from reality.

But when my parents still weren't satisfied with those efforts, I stuck close to my sister. I remembered how my sister saw me and made me feel happy. Lacey seemed to make my parents happy in a way I never did. I thought if I stuck close to her, I would find my way to happiness.

Now here I am, driving with my parents to the station because I decided to take a different path. I closed my eyes, suddenly feeling dizzy and nauseous, wondering if I'll ever stop ruining everything I touch.

“Okay, we're here, everyone out now!" My dad said sharply and we all obeyed. As I hopped out of the car, I glanced at the police station which was usually empty because nothing happened in Cloves. However, today it seemed big and the neon letters that spelled out its name made me feel dizzy.

I could feel the strong emotions in the back of my head knocking on the door which was keeping my emotions intact. It was dark and it made me feel anxious and upset. Thankfully, my numbness didn't let the door open. “This is ridiculous," My mom said sighing as she shook her head. “I can't believe we are actually at the station!"

“We don't have time for this discussion Launa! I have to find my daughter!" My dad retorted, not understanding that my mom was in disbelief.

Either way, it didn't matter because before we could even say anything else, my dad was already near the front door, so we hurried along. As soon as we walked inside, the station was empty and the receptionists were just on their cell phones, unbothered and ready to go home.

It didn't make sense. Any of it.

Why was my sister in danger in the safest part of town? I remember spotting familiar faces whereas Ash stood out, and maybe this is where I went wrong. I never should have encouraged Lace to pursue him.

“Excuse me, I'm going to need you to get off your phones. I need to speak to an officer right NOW," My dad snapped angrily. He was already pissed at me, my mom, and my sister for being gone, and these receptionists not taking their job seriously didn't help at all.

“I'm sorry sir," The receptionist responded sheepishly. She was a young woman with black-trimmed glasses and rosy skin, which turned bright red due to my dad's tone of voice. “Right away. Please hold momentarily." The young woman awkwardly placed her hand in one of her desk's drawers and dialed the telephone. A beat later, she held the phone to ear.

“Hello sir, are you available to be seen? There's someone here that needs to speak with an officer and it sounds urgent. Okay, thank you, goodbye!"

The receptionist cleared her throat and fixed her hair. My dad's angry tone definitely scared her into looking as presentable as possible. “Officer Clark will be here momentarily–

“What seems to be the problem?" A young man in his 30s interrupted as he approached us. He was in a police uniform which was on the casual side. It was basically a polo shirt with the city's logo on it. Not a lot of people in Cloves worked in this field so I'm sure the man who was talking to us was who the receptionist called for.

“There he is," The receptionist confirmed. “Have a good day you all!"

My Dad simply ignored her while my mom kindly smiled at her before turning towards the officer. “Hello Officer Clark, my name is Roger Lowe and I would like to file a missing person report. I suspect it to be a kidnapping and the guy who has done the deed is armed and dangerous."

Officer Clark looked concerned and surprised yet he kept his composure. “Follow me to my office and let's write up a statement."

As we followed the officer, I walked around and noticed that many officers were working on paperwork, typing notes, and filing in certain documents. Based on their lack of eagerness, it seemed like it wasn't anything too crucial.

We finally made it to his office and we took our seats as he sat at his desk. He opened up a file on his computer before looking right at my dad. “Who is the missing person, what's their age, s*x, nationality? Do you have any pictures of the missing person?"

“Her name is Lacey Lowe," My dad replied as he pulled out his phone and showed a picture of her. The officer looked right at me and I flushed in embarrassment. I knew he was staring at me because we looked similar, but after everything that has happened, every glance towards me made me anxious.

“Are you two related?" The officer asked me.

I took a deep breath and nodded. “Yes sir, uh Officer Clark, we are sisters, born two weeks apart. She's 18, born August 28th, 2002. We are African American and she's female."

After my response, he typed down my answers. “Thank you Miss…?"

“Macey Lowe."

“Alright, are you two close?"

Before I could respond, my dad chimed in. “No, they are not. How long will this take my daughter is missing!"

“Calm down honey," My mom assured him, “he's doing his job."

“And the quicker I record the information the quicker it will be for me to find your daughter," the officer added. “Do you have any clue on where she would have gone? Any text messages, calls, voicemails–

“Launa, show him the recording!"

My mom nodded and immediately pulled out her phone. As they pressed play, I bit my lip scared for what I was about to hear.

“Lacey…where are you?" My Dad asked worriedly yet his voice was soft and gentle. “I thought you were studying with Stacie at school today but the office called us and told me you weren't there. Now your sister is telling us that you are dating someone. Please just come home okay?"

“Dad," Lacey pleaded with a sob and the change of her voice brought sudden tears to my eyes. Not only did she yell at me for the first time a few days ago but this is also the first time I've seen her distraught since…ever. “Daddy…I'm scared…"

Her fear and the way she was trembling was enough to make my dad cry. I could tell from the awkward silence in the recording that he was trying to pull himself together. “Lacey, sweetie, it's okay. Just tell us where you are and we will come get you."

“Daddy, y-you can't…you can't! He's dangerous, he's really dangerous, I'm so sorry!"

“Who the hell are you talking to?" A deep voice asked angrily and he was so loud that I nearly jumped.

Ash's voice scared me to death, and I closed my eyes, trying to resist my emotions as I could.

“No one! I wasn't–

“Liar!"

Suddenly, there were sounds of gunshots and a scream. It was high-pitched and unfamiliar but I knew from the sound of the voice that it was Lacey.

That's it. I couldn't do this!

I immediately stood up in my chair realizing I was breathing heavily, and even though I couldn't feel a thing, I knew that my emotions were taking hold of me. “M–may I-I u-use the rest..restroom?"

“Sit down," my Dad said with an eye roll and I immediately obeyed.

I could feel my emotions trying to break down the door and the numbness was losing its battle. Embarrassed, I looked up to see the officer offering me a tissue which I immediately took to wipe my tears.

“Macey, may I ask you something?" The officer asked as I gave him back his tissue.

I nodded; my face flushed. I hated my emotions so much and crying in front of everyone just made it all worse. Now, I was bawling my eyes out in front of an officer and I felt so ashamed. My parents wanted me to keep calm but I couldn't. I wish I would stop having these intense feelings, it would make my parents happier anyway. They didn't believe my anxiety was a real thing anyway. Therefore, it was even worse especially knowing that everything was because of me.

“Do you know the man on the recording?"

“Yes," I said as I sniffled and looked at my shoes to stop myself from flushing even more. “His name is Ash."

“Do you have a picture of him?"

“No–

I suddenly cut myself off and remembered a time when Lace sent me a photo of them together. It was when he sent her flowers after a hard week back to school. “Actually..yes I do!"

I took out my phone and pulled up the photo. I looked at Ash and my sister smiling. I wanted to cry, even more. Ash: the guy with the scar, the guy who made efforts in his appearance, the guy who was a liar…

“Here you go Officer Clark," I said as I showed him the photo and suddenly his face changed from his professional composure to a face of utter shock and terror.

My dad caught on and suddenly shouted, “Who is this man?!"

Officer Clark awkwardly cleared his throat trying to regain his professional face, but I could see he was just as afraid as us all. “Um…would you guys please excuse me? I..I have to check something real quick!"

And with that, he hurriedly scurried off and pulled out his walkie-talkie. “Chief Anderson, please pull out case file 135, this is a code 134, 333, and if it's who I think it is, then 136?"

Once he left the room, I could feel myself wanting to follow his leave because I understood what he meant.

Who the hell was Ash?!