Her Semi-Colon

Chapter 8: Sudden Shots

“Who the hell is Ash and why is this my first time hearing about him?" my dad retorted angrily. I didn't know what was worse, the voicemail, my parents receiving a call that my sister hasn't come in for school today or the fact that my parents didn't even know about him.

I mean, every time Ash came over to pick Lacey up, my parents were asleep or at work. However, this wasn't Lacey. This entire situation wasn't her. My sister always told our parents everything, whereas I didn't because they wouldn't care anyway.

Strange how the tables have turned.

“Mom, Dad, I–I'm sorry," I cried softly. I was already shaky and my stomach felt like it was going to plummet. I also felt anger, shock, and disappointment; I felt everything and it was so painful, I wanted to be numb. “I'm so so sorry."

“You should be!" My dad exclaimed, his anger only increasing faster and faster.

I could feel my body shake even more and my heart start to beat loudly in my chest.

“How dare you not tell us that your sister hasn't come home and went somewhere off with a boy. Are you really that selfish of a child?!"

“I got into an argument with her," I muttered, unable to speak louder because I was pretty sure I would break. “I just needed a break…"

Suddenly, they both laughed at me as if putting myself first after an argument with my sister was so ridiculous. “A break from that?" my mom asked as she shook her head. She looked so disappointed in me. “Sweetie, you are not even doing anything that important."

“B…but my student council…"

“You know what, forget student council!" my dad roared and I literally jumped as he slammed his hand on the table furiously. “Is that where you were instead of looking for your sister? It's a damn shame we had to learn from the school and not from our own daughter. Actually, I don't even know who you are anymore…"

“Roger," my mom chimed in trying to reason with my father. “I know you're upset honey but this is going to be a bit too far–

“Launa, our daughter is missing," my dad said with an annoyed sigh. “I'm not going too far at all! This wouldn't have happened if it was Macey missing because Lacey is much more responsible. She would have told us right away."

My mom sighed, “You do have a point, honey."

I couldn't do this. I really couldn't do this…I couldn't breathe. The pain was so immense that I felt like I was drowning in sorrow and my stomach wouldn't stop being so queasy. I closed my eyes and all I could do was cry. It was so painful!

I didn't want to be like this. I wanted to please my parents but I ruin everything I touch. If only I was more assertive and told my sister not to go, she would still be here. But no, I had to do what I wanted and now look what's happened.

Lacey made the world shine whereas I made the world crumble and fall. It was silly of me to think I could be someone different.

“Stop crying Macey, we have to find her! What is Ash's number?"

“I–I don't know, I'm sorry Dad."

“Pathetic," he scoffed before turning to mom. “Let's call Lacey ourselves and if she doesn't pick up we are going to the police. I'm going to lose it, god-damnit, I need a drink!"

My dad rubbed his face in anger and exhaustion before heading to the kitchen and pouring a shot of Smirnoff vodka in a glass before swallowing it whole. He let out a relieved sigh, “Much better! Come on Launa."

“Just a second honey," my mom said to my dad and her glance frustrated my dad immensely.

He groaned in annoyance before taking the entire bottle with him, walking over to his room and slamming the door shut.

My mom sighed and rubbed her face, clearly stressed out; it was all because of me. Every time I messed up, my dad lost it whereas my mom still tried to be supportive. However, it didn't feel sincere because she was just like my dad behind closed doors. Once again, it was all because of me.

“I'm sorry Mom," I said, and as I spoke, my voice was so shaky that my breath became much heavier. “I…I should have done something… the moment… I knew something was off. I…I shouldn't have been so selfish."

“Lacey means everything to me and I should have looked after her."

My mom only shook her head and sighed once more. “I know, you should have. Look, just keep your phone on right now and keep calling her. We'll do the same okay?"

I nodded and once she left, it was like I couldn't hold back my emotions any longer.

My heart sprinted, my hands shook tremendously and I felt like I couldn't breathe. I closed my eyes and started wailing again. I put one hand to my chest and tried to take a deep breath but it only made it worse. My chest felt tight, my throat felt tight, everything felt tight. “U…ugh what is…what is wrong with me?!"

I was tired of being me, I was tired of feeling, I was tired of all of it.

I looked around my home as if there was a way out and suddenly I faced the kitchen. I remember my dad's relieved sigh when he drank that vodka. I wanted that. I wanted to feel relief.

Therefore, I walked to my kitchen and pulled out one of Dad's Smirnoff vodkas which were caramel flavored. I opened the cap and without thinking, I closed my eyes and drank it straight from the bottle, taking three small sips.

The burning sensation of the liquor made me cough and I immediately twisted the cap back on the bottle, putting it away. I took a deep breath and I could feel the alcohol warming up my body. It felt like a security blanket. The buzz too made me a bit calmer despite my emotions running high, I finally felt like I could control it.

I was too young for this and drinking wasn't something I would usually do, but it seemed like everything I did was disappointing to my parents. So what was the point anymore?

After all, the drinking did help. Everything slowed down, the intensity all of it, and my body was finally responding with each breath I took.

I smiled to myself, I definitely felt relieved.

Now let's see if I can find Lacey. Just as I was able to dial her number, I heard my parents' door burst open and their footsteps charging me.

I was scared, but thankfully, the numbness from the alcohol was counteracting this emotion. So now maybe I can face my parents and not cry this time around.

“We are going to the police!" my Dad shouted as he approached me. “That f***g Ash guy, god-damnit!"

Oh my God…what the hell was happening?!

“Macey, we heard gunshots on the phone," my mom told me. “We need to go to the station now!"