Her Forgotten Husband

Chapter 3

Bumalik na sa Pilipinas si Auntie Clara kinabukasan. Nakahiga lang si Felicity sa kama habang inaalagaan siya ni Alma, ang kasambahay ni Conrado.

Hanggang ngayon ay umaasa pa rin si Felicity na magbalik ang kanyang memorya. Nababahala rin kasi siya sa kanyang panaginip tungkol kay Conrado, kaya lang hindi na niya matandaan ang kumpletong detalye non.

Nang umalis na si Auntie Clara, Conrado came to see her. At gaya ng isang estranghero, magalang itong kumatok sa pintuan ng kwarto niya hanggang sa sinabi niyang pumasok ito.

"Bakit nakatayo ka na naman diyan?" sabi nito, noticing her standing by the window, habang nakabalot naman ang ulo niya ng tuwalya.

"Naligo kasi ako, tingnan mo ako I feel like a new woman now." she told him firmly.

Napakunot-noo ito. "Kung gusto mong maligo, pwede mo namang tawagin si Manang Alma. Baka bigla ka nalang himatayin diyan sa banyo."

"For heaven's sake," napatawang saad niya. "Hindi ako hihimatayin noh."

Hindi na ito muling nagsalita pa at sa halip ay nilibot nito ang buong kwarto. Napansin naman niya ang athletic na pangangatawan ng lalaki dahil sa suot nitong t-shirt na hapit sa katawan nito.

Bigla naman itong tumigil sa harapan niya at maigi siyang tinitigan. "Has anything come back to you?"

"No, nothing. But I'm sure, malapit na. I feel so much better today."

Lumapit ito sa kanya at hinawakan ang mukha niya, tas inangat nito ang baba niya. "Yes, you do look better. Kung kaya mo ng bumaba sa hagdan, magpapahanda ako ng dinner para sayo."

"That sounds lovely."

Nang umalis na si Conrado sa silid niya, ipinagpatuloy na lamang ni Felicity ang pagpapatuyo sa kanyang buhok sa pamamagitan ng blow-dry.

Matapos matuyo ang kanyang buhok ay nagbihis siya at nag spray ng perfume sa kanyang leeg.

Ang damit na sinuot niya ngayon ay bagay talaga sa kanya. The neck was high but the clinging material outlined the full curves of her breasts.

Matapos niyang makapag-ayos sa sarili ay sabik na sabik na siyang bumaba para sa hapunan nila ng kinilala niyang asawa. Siguro ito na ang gabi na uulanin niya ito ng tanong, at titingnan niya kung hanggang saan ang kaya nitong sagotin.

At ten minutes to eight Conrado came to her door. Kaya lang parang hindi nito napansin ang pagpapaganda niya. Basta nalang ba kinuha ang kamay niya at iginiya siya nito sa hagdan.

The rest of the house delighted her. It was airy and spacious, with tiled floors, white walls and many arches. Conrado led her downstairs and out to a terrace just above ground level.

Felicity studied her sorroundings with delight. The house was built high on a hill, and from here she could look down over a magnificent bay, where the lights were already gleaming in the soft air of summer. "That must be the most beautiful sight in the world," she breathed. Tas napapalingon siya sa lalaki. "Nasabi ko na ba ito noon?"

"You said something similar when you first saw it a few days ago," sabi sa kanya ni Conrado. "There was a party to celebrate your arrival. My friends and family all admired you, and you seemed to be enjoying yourself. But then, nakita nalang kita na nakatayo dito sa terrace na mag-isa, at ang layo ng tingin mo."

"Napakaganda talaga ng tanawin dito." Paghanga pa niya.

She looked expectantly at Conrado, but instead of pursuing the subject he said smoothly, "Let me show you the grounds while there's still some light."

He led her to a short flight of stone steps descending to the lawn. They followed a path that vanished among bushes and palm trees. Saan man niya ibaling ang paningin ay nakapalibot pa rin ang mga bulaklak sa kanila at sinusundan pa rin sila ng halimuyak nito. "It's enchanting," mahinang turan niya. "Pero sana pinakita mo ito sakin before."

"Yes, we walked here together on the evening of your arrival."

What was it like? she wondered. Malayo rin ba ang pagitan nilang dalawa habang naglalakad gaya nito? O hinahawakan nito noon ang beywang niya habang naglalakad sila sa gitna ng mga bulaklak?

"What did I say about it then?"

"Exactly what you said just now, that it's enchanting."

"At ano naman ang naging sagot mo?"

"That I'd had everything made perfect, in your honor."

Pero pano kaya nito sinabi iyon? Sa malambing na boses ba, o binulong ito ng lalaki sa kanyang tenga?

"Let's sit there for a while." mungkahi pa ni Conrado, at itinuro nito ang malaking bato na nakaharap sa bay.

"I hope you've change your mind, at sabihin mo na sakin ang tungkol sa sarili ko."

"No, I still think the best thing for you is to remember your own accord."

"All right." she said promptly. "Then tell me about you, at isipin mo lang na ito ang kauna-unahan nating pagkakataon na magkakilala."

Nakita niyang nag-aalangan ito, and then she laughed at his expression. "Look, kung hindi tayo pwedeng mag-usap tungkol sakin at tungkol sayo, tahimik lang ba tayong uupo hanggang sa mapanis ang mga laway natin." resonableng turan niya.

He recovered himself. "Not at all. If I'd just met you I wouldn't waste time talking about myself. I'd tell you how lovely you look."

"Salamat nalang sa papuri, Mr. Benitez." she retorted. "Pero igigiit ko pa rin na magsabi ka tungkol sa sarili mo."

"There's very little to tell. I was born in Mindoro in the Philippines. Pamilya kami ng mga mangingisda, but I had a mechanical bent so I went to a technical college and finished my degree in Mechanical Engineering. I now own a couple of factories that make electrical household goods."

"Was that how you knew my father?"

"We were both concerned with electronics, so yes."

Napansin naman niya na suot pa rin ni Conrado ang kanilang wedding ring kaya napatitig siya dito. "We exchanged rings during the civil ceremony." sabi pa nito.

"Kinuha mo ba yong sa akin?"

"Hindi," mapait na tugon nito. "Iniwan mo yon nong umalis ka. It was you who rejected our marriage."

"Pero bakit? Am I..." bigla siyang nautal. "Am I in love with you?"

"Ikaw lang ang tanging makakasagot niyan."

"Pero hindi ko ba sinabi sayo na mahal kita?"

Hinawakan ni Conrado ang magkabilang balikat niya at pinaharap siya nito. "Felicity, listen to me. Wag ka na ulit magtanong pa."

"Pero gusto kong malaman ang katotohanan." she cried.

"Gusto mo ba talagang malaman ang katotohanan?" He moved suddenly, drawing her close, cradling her head against his shoulder and speaking with his lips a few inches from hers. "Yes," he murmured, "you're in love with me. You told me that it was only in my arms that you'd discovered what love meant."

He lowered his mouth hanggang sa maglapat ang mga labi nila. Kusa namang bumuka ang bibig niya upang bigyang daan ang dila nitong makapag explore sa bibig niya.

Ngunit hindi nito pinalalim ang halik. After a long moment during which she could hear him breathing raggedly, he drew slowly back from her. Kahit ayaw pa sana niyang maputol ang halik na yon. Nabitin tuloy siya.

"Well?" he demanded in a tense voice.

"Well?" she echoed.

"Am I telling the truth, or am I lying to you? knowing that you can't tell the difference. Did you say you were in love with me?"

She wanted to cry yes, dahil iyan ang sinasabi ng puso niya, pero iba naman ang sinasabi ng isip niya. "Hindi ko alam."

"See, hindi mo malalaman kung ano ang kasinungalingan o hindi. I'm sorry, Felicity, but you had to discover for yourself why I'm doing the wisest thing for both of us."

Binitiwan na siya ng lalaki. "Surely, when we spoke of marriage, I must have said something about loving you." she persisted.

He looked at her. "Oo, ilang beses." simpleng sagot nito.

She expelled a slow breath, gusto rin sana niyang itanong kung mahal ba siya nito, pero parang walang salita na lumabas sa bibig niya at sa halip ay sinabi niya na, "Ibalik mo sakin ang singsing ko, please."

"I think you should wait until you've had time to decide what you want to do."

"Pero unfair naman kung ikaw lang ang nakasuot ng wedding ring."

"Eh hindi naman ako ang tumakbo sa kasal." matabang na turan nito. "Hindi kita niloko, Felicity. But still you abandon me on our wedding."

Conrado rose suddenly and strode away from her. Dismayado tuloy siya sa ginawa nito. Pero baka nasaktan niya ito ng labis sa pag-iwan niya nito sa kanilang kasal.

After a moment he returned to her. "I'm sorry." sabi pa nito, at halatang napipilitang bigkasin ang katagang iyon. "Alam kong hindi maganda ang ginawa kong pag walk-out kanina. Ayaw ko kasing pag-usapan ang sarili ko, so I'll warn you now that I have a wicked temper. Kung galit ako, maaring may masabi lang ako na masasakit na salita."

"I'm not a shrinking violet, Conrado." she said. "Kung ano man ang sasabihin mo sakin, hindi naman ako masasaktan."

"Masasabi mo lang yon dahil hindi mo pa ako nakitang magalit. Sometimes I hardly realize what I'm saying, and I know the dreadful damage I can do. Kaya nga umalis ako kanina, dahil kung nanatili pa ako non..." He hesitated as if picking his words to select the least dangerous. "Baka nasaktan lang kita, Felicity."

"You have every right to be angry," she conceded, trying to lure him into a revelation.

Napapailing lang ito. "There's no such thing as the right to wound another person, kahit na gaano ka pa niya sinaktan, especially when they're vulnerable." Again she had the feeling that he was choosing words with care. "And you are very vulnerable, Felicity. Yan ang natutunan ko sayo." He drew a painful breath. "Please, wag muna nating pag-usapan ito."

"I'm sorry, can you forgive me?" she asked softly. But as soon as she said "forgive" parang may nanumbalik sa kanyang isip, at nakita nalang niya ang mukha ni Conrado na parehong-pareho sa kanyang panaginip, na puno ng galit at pait.

"What is it?" biglang naalerto ang ekspresyon ni Conrado. "Anong nangyari sayo?"

"Bago palang ako nagising mula sa mahimbing na tulog," mahinang saad niya. "Nakita kita. Sa aking panaginip. Galit ka sakin. I was begging you to forgive me for something, pero sinabi mo na kung ano man ang pagkakamali ay hindi na maaayos pa. At nang pagmulat ko sa aking mga mata, ikaw yong unang tao na nakita ko. Conrado, sabihin mo naman sakin oh. Ano bang ginawa ko?"

"Akala ko ba nagkaliwanagan na tayo sa bagay na yan? Ipinahiya mo lang naman ako sa maraming tao sa araw ng ating kasal. Not to mention that you wrecked my brand-new car."

"No, hindi mo pa sinabi sakin ang lahat." she said hurriedly. "What is it? What did I do?"

Hinawakan naman ng lalaki ang mga kamay niya at tinitigan siya nito sa mga mata. "Felicity, I want you to listen to me and accept what I tell you. Bukod don sa tinakbuhan mo ako sa ating kasal, wala ka namang dapat na ihingi pa ng tawad. You don't owe me anything. Sana maniwala ka sa sinasabi kong ito."

"But how can I?" she asked slowly. "Di ba sinabi mo sakin na hindi ko paniniwalaan ang lahat ng sinasabi mo?"

Nagpakawala ito ng malalim na hininga. "Mas mabuti pang hintayin mo nalang na bumalik ang iyong alaala."

"I remember you looking at me with hatred."

Humigpit ang pagkakahawak nito sa kamay niya. "You don't remember it. Kasi panaginip mo lang yon, kaya ka nagugulumihan ngayon. Hindi kita hahayaan na mag-isip ng mga bagay na wala namang katotohanan. Wala kasi akong rason upang magalit sayo."

His hands were firm and warm, enfolding her own, offering safety in a world where everything was alien. Yong kaninang galit na mukha na nakita niya sa lalaki ay biglang naglaho at napalitan ito ng maamong mukha. "Tell me you believe me," giit nito. "Let me hear you say it."

Si Felicity naman ngayon ang nagpakawala ng isang malalim na hininga. "Yes." tugon niya rito. "Naniniwala ako sayo...dahil may tiwala ako sayo. It's strange when I don't know you, but I trust you completely, Conrado."

Parang napapitlag ang lalaki sa sinabi niya. His face showed his confusion, kaya hindi niya mapigilang magtanong. "What's the matter? Hindi ko ba sinabi yan sayo last time?"

"Last time?" he asked cautiously.

"Last time I expressed an opinion of your character...kailan ba yon ha."

Napangisi ito bigla. "It was the day we got engaged. Tinawag mo ako na barumbado."

"Talaga? Was that before or after I agreed to marry you?"

"Before."

"You mean, tinawag muna kita ng barumbado bago ko tinanggap yong proposal mo?"

"Akala ko nga eh na wais ka. You obviously knew the worst of me, at pinili mo pa rin akong pakasalan."

"What is the worst of you, Conrado?"

"Beware of thinking too well of me."

"Baka nga gawa-gawa mo lang yon, at hindi talaga kita tinawag na barumbado. I just said I trusted you." parang nalito ito sa sinabi niya, but she's enjoying his baffled expression. "Anyway, sabihin mo na nga sakin ang totoo. Alam kong hindi iyan ang mga sinasabi ko sayo."

"Yes, this is the truth. At bakit mo naman nasabi na hindi totoo ang mga sinasabi ko sayo?"

"Because you want to make sure I know the worst of you," pag-ulit niya sa sinabi nito. "You'll tell me the worst but not the best, because despite what you said, you're an honorable man. I know that about you--" itinuro niya ang sariling dibdib. "--kasi nararamdaman ko dito. Ano pa ba ang nangyari sa gabing yon?"

"It's time we were going in to dinner." Pag-iiba nito sa usapan. "Manang Alma makes an excellent soup, at ayaw na ayaw niya ang lumamig ang pagkain."

Hindi na lamang nag protesta pa si Felicity. At least naka first round na siya sa pagtatanong. Sa susunod na round ulit.

*****