SCAR

all the best

Freedom was knocking on my door and what I was doing? I was standing in front of the door, minutes away from opening the door for it to embrace me and take away all my pain and hardships.

Why was there an invisible wall of hesitation? Was my family's harsh toxicity not enough proof for me to get far away from them? Had I not bear enough? Was there still something left for me to go through at their hands?

My father's smiling face flashed through my brain and at that moment I made up my mind. I was not going to let my step-family decide my future. I am not going to give benefit of the doubt. I was my own person.

I had bared enough at their hands and it was time I take matters in my hand. I needed this job. I needed to make a living before I fly off to college.

With a newly found courage, I stepped inside the house that always ran to bite me in the ass. It was never my home. Home, the home was there where my father was, be it four walls or graveyard.

"Why are you late slut?" Fera sparked as she saw me marching to my room in haste. She thought I was yet again running up to escape my stepfather's beating or my mother's scoldings. Only if she knew how excited I was to hop on to a chance to have a sensible job, be it a waitress.

Fera was only ten yet was full of shitty attitude and ignorance. She was a carbon copy of her father, and no better than him in nature, bitchy.

"Out with a friend," I said as politely as I could. Knowing well if she's in a bad mood, she'll make sure I get beaten up and starved.

She was a witch and never missed a chance to rub it in my face that she had a father who loved his children and I was a nobody.

As much as I hated her but I needed to be at my best behavior to stay far away from beating and end up with a bruised face yet again.

She just rolled her eyes, picking at her nails she strolled to her father's room.

With an exasperated sigh for putting up with her, I made a beeline towards my small room that was in the corner and was once a storeroom.

I used to work at the school library every weekend as it used to be open for the public on weekends and used to get waged but sadly I never earned a penny, as all my hard-earned money was snatched away from me by my own mother and I used to stand helpless in front of her.

How could a mother be so heartless? So cold? So blatant to their own daughter? I thought mothers cared for their children but what I get to experience everyday is something completely opposite to what I hear.

Did God hate me so much to bestow me with with a vile mother and make me fatherless? Did I do something wrong that upset God and he took my father? Or was I just so undeserving to have a loving set of parents?

I was left to ponder on my thoughts as I put an alarm for six in the evening and slept for I had to regain energy to go meet the owner and secure my job.

I just wanted a job, a job that keeps me away from home. I knew I was being ungrateful but I wasn't getting anything from staying at home and doing chores that I was not bound to do, just because I was getting food for two times.

—

It was seven in the evening and I was all ready to head down to the restaurant and see what fate holds of me.

I just hoped the employer there was kind enough to give me the job who had no idea about a single thing.

As I sneaked out of the house, my phone rang in my back pocket, and discretely fishing it out of my pocket, I picked up the call.

"Doss." It was Ryan.

"Hi Ryan," I spoke with a small smile. "Is everything alright?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Yeah, everything is good. You tell me, did you think about the job at The Rock?" He looked hesitant and I smiled at his concern.

They both were so lucky to have each other. I was very, very happy for both of them for ending up together and loving each other like no one.

"Yes, Ryan. I am just headed south to see if I can get the job." I tried to put away my wrecked nerves off my voice as I replied politely.

"You are?" He sounded surprised and I almost chuckled at that.

"Yes. Your girlfriend knocked some sense into me." I smiled in the phone talking about my only friend.

"Finally." He muttered, not spoken for me to hear but I still did and couldn't help but smile.

"Good then. All the best." He wished me luck and I thanked him before cutting the call and hailing a bus near the house.

I felt giddiness spreading deep down my veins and lifting up my sullen mood from before.

I glanced at the reflection in the glass of the bus and couldn't help but trace my bruises through my eyes.

Although hidden away from the world but clawing at my skin for my eyes to see. For me to see how much of a loser I was. I was just pathetic, weak and a liability to the family who never held back from spitting it on my face.

However praise worthy I was, I had no self-confidence in me. I just wanted to be invisible for the world. If not that, I wished to die in peace and reunite with my father who loved me enough for the years he was with me to last me a lifetime.

The bus stopped where I needed to get down, and with jittery nerves, I hopped off the bus in hopes of not returning empty handed.