Alpha's Secret Regret

Sara POV People can change. All you have to do is throw them in the desired situation, and they'll become what you want them to be. At least, this is my strong belief. I want Nickolas Reign to fall for me. I need him to want more from me. My desire for him and this belief in change are what led me to sign his damn contract. He does want me, but only for one thing. To satisfy his lust. I thought that if I gave him what he craved, he'd want more. He'll keep coming back till he can never let go. I've been in love with Nick since I learned the meaning of the word. It's impossible to continue to meet him like this for "just s*x" without letting him know how I truly feel. One thing was bound to happen this evening after we talked. His ridiculous contract would become void. And that was fine by me. As I inhaled a lung full, I wiped my sweaty palm on my dress. Rising from the sofa, I went to the window for the millionth time to check if he was coming. Today is not "our day," as he likes to call it. It is a Saturday. We're not supposed to meet for another three days. But when I texted, asking to see him, he agreed, saying he'd be there at 7. I like to think that's a good sign. Although it's already 7:15 PM, and there's no sign of him. Nick was never late. My eyes roamed the living room and dining once more. This apartment has become my favorite place in four short months. It's the only place I can ever be with him. We can't be seen by any L.A. reporter or a member of the pack. It will cause an outrage. Goddess forbid that the future alpha should contaminate his father's bloodline by sleeping with a nobody. I sighed deeply, brushing aside the troubling thought. My eyes move to the clock again and stay there till another five minutes go by. Calling him is against his rules. But he's twenty-two minutes late now, and I wonder if that isn't a good enough reason to ring his cell phone. This whole evening is against his rules anyway. I started to reach for my cellphone when that familiar scent of rain in the woods wafted by. He's here. The scent is followed by loud stomping of his feet as he approaches the door. Another look through the blinds and his wavy brown, rough curls come into view before he reaches the door. I suck in a deep breath and smooth my knee-length dress, bracing myself for this unplanned meeting. The lock on the door began to disengage. Nick lets himself inside and is suddenly standing face to face with me. I can sense his anticipation as his eyes raked my body. But underneath it, there's a heat that can only mean he doesn't appreciate being asked to come out here on a day that isn't "our day." "Hey," I greeted softly. His eyes made another sweep over me. The kind of look that makes me go weak at the knee. How I love those bright gray orbs, even when they shine with impatience like right now. "Why am I here? It's not Tuesday," he asks curtly. I feel a painful pull in my heart at the question, but I push aside the feeling quickly. "It's a weekend, and I thought maybe we could..." His face transforms into a look that makes me forget the words I prepared in my head. My hands shake slightly and I clutch my dress. Something seemed to catch his eyes, and they slowly shifted to the dining a few feet away. He takes a step towards the table and asks with a frown, "What's this?" There's a meal for two on the table. Clearly, he knows what it was. The question is rhetorical. Or maybe he means to say what does this mean? "It's... food," I stammer. Only now do I start to consider how much of a bad idea this is. "I cooked for you. I wanted us to eat together," I said. Nick looks at me like I've just grown another head. "Are you out of your mind? You called me over because you wanted us to eat?" he scolds. "I'm not your boyfriend, Sara. You don't get to just call me!" My anger stirs. I want to lash back and say he's right. He's more than my boyfriend. He's my mate. I want to yell that I'm done hiding. I'm tired of being his secret w***e. But my lips quiver, and I lower my head instead. All I can manage are soft grumbles. "I didn't think it was against the rules-" "It is against the rules, Sara!" he snaps. "What we have is purely s****l. I told you this. You should read the contract. I don't pay you so we can sit and eat. Or to have you call me out of work!" My heart twists painfully in my chest at his words. He could've just ignored the text. Why did he come down here to stomp on my heart? If he's this angry about a simple attempt to share a meal, how would he react if I told him the real reason I called him? "It's a weekend. I thought you'd be free," I said. "Well, I'm not. And I'm certainly not hungry. Also, our arrangement doesn't allow for anything like this." He waves a finger at the table irritatingly. "I'm... sorry to bother you," I muttered, losing all courage to say everything I planned. I expected him to turn around and take his leave, but he didn't. Instead, he remains where he is, watching me. When I lift my gaze to meet his, I notice the sudden shift in his mood. The evening air quickly assumes that delicious tension that I've come to know in all the four months since we began this clandestine meeting. He approaches in slow, casual strides while taking off his jacket. "Well, I'm already here." His voice drops seductively. "Can't let the evening go to complete waste, can we, Sara?" I should back away from him. He owed me an apology for the cruel, unnecessary outburst only seconds ago. But I can’t move. His nearness holds me in place like a spell. He always has this power over me. Resisting him is an impossibility. It could be the mate bond. On the other hand, it's probably the raw, irresistible power that drips all around him. Every alpha of our kind carries that spellbinding essence. As he leans close to claim my lips, I melt into him, surrendering my whole being. The kiss starts slow and soft like he's teasing me, but it quickly grows urgent and intense. His tongue caresses mine, coaxing me to give in to him fully. Only one thought floats in my mind. How can he kiss me like this and claim it's "purely s****l?" But even that thought vanishes when he gives the softest moan against my lips. Soon, he lifts me into his arms, wrapping my thighs around his waist as he carries me into the living room. His hands on my bare flesh is the most heavenly feeling, and I'm totally lost in his touch. 'I want this. I want more of him,' the plea echoes in my mind. He lays me down on my back on top of the sofa and drops a light kiss on my neck. As he works to slip off my underwear, I'm doing the same with his belt buckle, too, ready for whatever he gives me. At this moment, it doesn't matter if what he offers is merely lust. Soon, his lips returned to mine in a sensual kiss as his hand started to move between my inner thighs. That is when I whisper the words that I should never say to him. Lost in the feel of him, the three syllables finds their way between our lips in a gentle whisper. "I love you." He goes very still. Seconds later, he starts to pull away in a rush. Only then do I realize what has just fallen out of my mouth. "I mean-" He glares at me to shut me up. I forgot the excuse I was about to give. Rising and turning away, he starts to fumble with his belt as he rushes out of the living room. "Nick... please..." I followed him, wondering what to say to undo the little mistake. But is it really a mistake? That isn't exactly the words I plan to use. I shouldn't have blurted it out like that. He yanks his jacket from the dining chair. Without looking back, he storms out of the house. As he slams the door on his way out, it feels like an axe has just been driven into my heart. ****** The Next Tuesday My thumb hovers on Nick's number as I continue to stare at my phone. If I click the dial button, I'll be breaking another one of his rules. Will it matter? It's been three days since my accidental confession and there's been no word from him. Today is our meeting day, but it's doubtful that he'll show up. The idea of going over to the apartment to wait is unappealing. I've sent him messages since Saturday evening. He ignored all of them. The fact that I didn't see him around campus all day yesterday doesn't help. Lectures are over for the day. Which means our meeting is two hours from now. "Hey, stranger." Meg pokes my shoulder, pulling me out of my thoughts. "You've been acting weird. Are you okay? I've been screaming for you to wait up," she said. "Oh, I didn't hear you," I replied. "You seem in a hurry today. Running errands for your dad as usual?" she asks. "Yes. I have to help pick up something from the supermarket," I lied. She's my best friend and roommate. As the child of the former beta of our pack, Meg is far from being a lowlife like me. When I was bullied in high school for talking to Nick's sister, she stood up for me. It's how we became friends. She doesn’t mind being seen with an omega. Lying to her makes me feel awful, but I don’t have a choice. No one can know about me and Nick unless he tells them or we become official. If Saturday is any indication, none of the two will ever happen. Meg hooks her hand in my arm as we make our way back to the dorm together. I decided that if I don't see Nick today, I'll take it that the contract is truly void now. That we're over. Meg is talking about professor John and some girl in our class, but I can't pay attention. "Human girls are so lame," she mumbles. "If she knew what she was getting into, she'd run fast in the opposite direction." I zoned her out completely as we turned the corner leading to the hostel. Jake, Nick's best friend, approaches. He's alone. "Hey Jake," Meg beams. "Hey girls. Done with class?" he asks. "Yeah. Where's your alpha-to-be? Haven't seen him around campus this week." I wanted to hug my best friend for asking the question I was so desperate for. "Careful, don't go around calling him that, Meg," Jake warns. "Alpha Zion is still alive and well. But as you said, he's heir to the throne, so he doesn't always have to attend lectures like us mortals." "Aww, is that so?" Meg mocks. "We're in our finals, Meg. We're supposed to be scarce around here." "Really? Then why aren't you scarce?" She rolls her eyes. He scowls before saying, "Family business called Nick home. You should see him around tomorrow, if not later today." I wonder what he means by family business. Maybe his sister is visiting from Europe. After a round of chitchat and see-you-laters, Meg and I continue to the dorm. Twenty minutes later, my cab arrives, and I head straight to the apartment where Nick and I meet every Tuesday. It took 90 minutes of sitting alone in the large living room to decide that my first instinct was right. He isn't going to show up. Is it really over between us? But then I expected it to be. The terms of the agreement are crystal. I was prepared for this when I asked to see him on Saturday. Changing back into my jeans and checkered shirt, I hurried out of our secret meeting place with a lump in my chest. It's already dark when I reached the campus again. Nick hasn't returned my calls or texts, but on the bright side, there would be no more sneaking around with him. He'll reject me when he's ready, and I'll get back to my quiet life. Maybe I'll reject him first. Time to focus on my studies and work hard to keep my scholarship. After all, college is my only chance of ever making something good out of my life as a nobody. Something interrupts my sad musings as I get down from the campus shuttle. A dark gray Jeep SUV sits on the driveway in front of my hostel. That car is uncommon here at the university, so I knew it was Nick's. My heart leapt at the sight, but the sunken feeling in my stomach didn’t go away. Is he waiting for me in the hall? As I approached, I spotted two figures standing on the side mere inches from each other. As I tried to determine who they were, their familiar features made my heart stop. I watch in the dimly lit walkway, watching as Nick cups Meg's face in his hand and lowers his mouth to hers. He either doesn't care about his audience or he's utterly oblivious as he pressed her smaller body to his, deepening the kiss.