ALPHA

Chapter 1

Shikaru's POV

"Your mother and I decided that you will finish your studies in Japan and live with your grandparents..."

"Please understand that this is for your own good, alright? You've become obsessed with that... boy!"

"Hey, Shikaru, what's happening to you? Is the rumors are true? You became obsessed with that boy!

"Ano ba ang nangyayari sayo? Nag iba ka na, hindi ikaw yung Shikaru na nakilala namin! Yan kasi, tignan mo ang ginawa sayo ng pagmamahal na yan, sinira mo na buhay mo...!"

"Girl, hayaan mo nga yan si Shikaru! Kung gusto niya sirain ang buhay niyan sa lalakeng yun, eh di sirain niya! Buhay niya yan eh... tignan mo sa susunod, sarado na naman utak niyan. Kahit anong tulong gawin mo dyan di rin naman niya gagawin yan kasi nga..."

"Mahal niya yung lalakeng iyon."

"Shikaru..."

"Shikaru..."

"Shikaru..."

"Karu..."

"I will always love you okay...? Tandaan mo yan...!"

"Shikaru..."

"Shikaru..."

"Shikaru..."

"Shikaru..."

"I-im so... s-sorry! Please listen to me! H-hindi yun ang iniisip mo!"

"Shikaru..."

"You look lost, little kitten... maybe I should take you home and...

"Give you something that you can play with?"

"Meow!"

Huh? Meow?

Napamulat ako nang may maramdaman akong bagay na nakapatong sa dibdib ko at pagtingin ko dito ay tumumbad sa akin ang isang maliit at bilog na mukha na nakatitig sa akin.

"Meow." Sabi niya sabay pulupot sa leeg ko.

"Diamond! Yamenasai! Mo... anata wa watashi o kusugutte!" I said giggling while Diamond rubbed her body on my face.

"Meow."

I stood up from my bed and opened the curtains to my room to let the sunlight hit my bedroom. I stretched first before I went to the bedroom while Diamond lay on my bed like any other cat pag may nakakita sila ng lugar na komportable...

After doing my everyday routines, I just wore sando na pintaungan ko ng jacket and shorts.

"Diamond," Binuksan ko na ang pinto sa kwarto ko at bumaba na, sumunod sa akin ang alaga ko.

Pababa ako ng hagdan nang mapansin ako ng mga maids kaya bumati sila sakin at binatian ko rin sila.

"Sho." I called.

"Good morning ma'am." Pagbabati niya, isa siya sa mga katulong ng lolo ko.

"Where's lolo?" Natong ko.

"At the garden, hime." sagot niya, never akong masasanay sa palayaw na tinatawag sa akin ng mga katulong dito porke't apo ako ni lolo...

Dumeretso na ako habang bitbit ko ang pusa papunta sa likod ng bahay kung saan daw si lolo at nakita ko ngang andun sa garden habang may kausap mula sa kanyang telepono.

"Yes... take care of it!... I don't want any evidence!... just hurry up and finish everything." Napalingon ito sa akin nang mapansin niya ako mula sa distansya at iniwan ang pusa sa upuan sa tabi at tuluyang nilapitan si lolo.

"Goodmorning," pagbabati niya sa akin, umupo kaming dalawa sa upuan kung saan nakahanda ang mga agahan.

Ngumiti ito sa akin habang tuloy tuloy lang ako sa pagkain, alam ko na rin naman kung bakit niya ako niyaya kumain. Madalas wala ito sa bahay kaya minsan lang kami nagkakasama at kapag nagsasama kami at kumakain, may gusto itong papagawa sa akin. Ganun naman palagi, wala nang iba...

"So, any plans for today?' He asked. I just shook my head as a sign of no, he chuckled.

"Oh, are you sure?" He said teasingly so I turn my head at him and shot him a warning look while he just laughed about it. Minsan sobrang random magbigay ng utos tong matatandang to kaya sinsamaan ko na lang siya ng tingin.

"Sorry, I'm just kidding!" He laughs.

After that little chat, we ate our food in peace. This is our routine whenever we have the chance to eat together. No interruption, just the noise of the morning sound and our utensils... this is what I call peace.

Until he broke the silence making my eyes widen in shock and looked at him.

"Ano sabi mo?" napabigla ako sa di oras at napatagalog ako sa harap niya, nakakaintindi naman ito ng tagalog kaso matagal na rin siyang nakatira dito sa Japan kaya nawawala na rin ang lingwahe niya.

"Yes, hime... just awhile ago your parents called me, that they said that you have to go back to them, in the Philippines." He stated that made my utensils drop on my plate.

My parents...?

"Why..." I whispered, I lowered my head and let my brain absorb what he said.

"Because they want you to come back to them, they missed you. You have been living here for 6 years now. You are in your second year of college and I think it's time for you to face your own problem Shikaru. Stop hiding from it." Sabi niya na may pahid ng pagalala at lungkot pa sa akin, hind ako umimik.

Face my problem...?

"Come on Shikaru, it's been 6 years—" I did not let him finish when I stood up causing my chair to fall back, he then looked at me with confusion. I just turned around and walked away from there, wala na rin akong sasabihin pa kay lolo.

Pagkabalik ko sa kwarto ko ay pumunta ako sa balkonahe at umupo sa isa sa mga upuan dun, ang tanging lugar kung saan ako pwede magisip ng tahimik.

I sat there and I did not notice that Diamond followed me all the way and sat beside me.

Yes, you all read it right. I have been staying here for 6 long years and already on my second year in college here at Japan. I did not have any contacts there since then even my parents. Si lolo na ang nagsasabi sa akin kung ano kailangan ng magulang ko. Desisyon ko iyon kaya nirerespeto nalang ni lolo.

Simula nung nangyari sakin dati, ngayon sobrang nagbago na ako. Not just physically, but also emotionally, and mentally.

Syempre dumaan ako sa depresyon kung saan nawala sakin lahat, tinaboy ko na lahat pati sarili ko eh. Oo halos sinukuan ko na ang sarili ko pero meron pa akong isang hope sa sarili ko na kaya ko pa kaya I started meditating, dun talaga nagsimula lahat. Dahil sa meditation, nakausap ko ang sarili ko na buo at dun ako onti-onting bumangon bilang panibagong tao.

I changed my physics, I trained hard, I studied hard again, and topped my international school.

But one thing that I didn't change is...

To socialize with people...

I dont interact with them and they don't talk to me because I became that type of person that no one ever dares to interact with. Oo top ako sa school ko at kilala ako, oo hindi maiiwasan na may kumausap sa akin pero hanggang doon lang. Wala akong tinuring na kaibigan o ano kasi ayoko.

It's like... I got traumatized. Yung feeling na anuman oras ay iiwanan nila ako bigla nang walang dahilan? Nasa utak ko na siya at kinatatakutan ko iyon. Oo nakakatakot siya sa sitwasyon ko dahil sa kabobohan na nangyari sa akin dati.

And of course, one more thing that I never stop doing it.

Being a rebel.

Every night I go to this "society" that no one cares about you nor gives a damn about you. But as long as you're strong, they respect you.

And that is my problem right now.

Its not the one lolo told me. It's been 6 f*****g years! Ang tagal na nun! So expected na yun na walang-wala na yun sa akin!

That heart that shattered into million pieces is now turned into vengeance, lots and lots of 'em...

I made a wall around my heart so nobody would even dare to go near it...

I felt my phone vibrate inside of the pocket of my jacket so I fished it out and saw a message.

I took a breath and read the content, it's blank, but I know what that means.

We are havin' a meeting right now.

Tumayo na ako sa inuupuan ko at nagayos na.

Have I introduced myself? Not yet?

The name Shikaru Yamato, a f****d up girl with a f****d up life.

And welcome to my f****d up world.

And also a weirdo with a weird name.