Personal Violation

Chapter One-2

She was met with silence, and some disapproving looks. “I understood that Mr. Nolan was going to be here to finalize everything tonight,” the CEO, Preston Langley, said with concern.

“He was going to be,” Sarah said, “but an emergency came up and he couldn't make it. I can go through the checklist to make sure that everything is in order, with the exception of two issues.”

Langley did not look happy. He said, “We agreed to close this deal and that this meeting was to handle those two issues. Now, we're not going to get it done?”

“Let me address those two issues,” she said. “We have the revisions to the financials under discussion, and everything looks good, but we need them audited before we can close.”

“We'll have the audited version by Monday,” Langley said, unhappily.

“The other item was the pending dispute with Caspian Products, over the patent. Can I get a look at the final due diligence documents we requested?”

The attorney, Gabriel Johns, handed her a file containing about a dozen multi-page documents, some of them a page or two, others twenty pages in length. She looked through the documents, five minutes growing to ten, while they all waited silently.

“I can't make the final decision on this,” she said, closing the file. “I need our CEO and our lawyer to review these documents.”

Langley leaned back in his chair and shook his head. “Like I said before, I understood that final decisions were the purpose of this meeting.”

Sarah took her time responding, demonstrating no intimidation or panic. “I understand, but as I told you, Mr. Nolan had a last minute emergency and couldn't be here. I will take the financials, and the final due diligence documents, with me. You send me the audited version of the financials, and I will recommend that we sign off. Mr. Nolan will need to review these,” she said, pointing to the newly received documents. She paused and added, “We should have our review complete by the time we get the auditor's certification next week, so there will be no unnecessary delays.” There was a lingering dissatisfied silence in the room, as everyone except Sarah considered whether to complain further about the delay. “Let's go through the checklist,” Sarah said, “to make sure everything else is done.”

They spent twenty minutes covering a list of items that had been completed before her arrival, and found everything in order. Sarah said, “Thank you all for your courtesy. I'm sorry we couldn't get further tonight.”

Langley looked at the lawyer and said, “Evidently, we've gone as far as we are going to get tonight, although I'm a little confused about why we set this evening meeting just to kick finalization down the road. Let's get this signed off by early next week.” He extended a hand and Sarah shook it, and then the other hands around the table.

“Thanks, gentlemen,” she said and walked from the room. These natives were restless, but at least not yet in open revolt. She wondered why Nolan had dumped this meeting on her knowing that she would be unable to respond to the remaining issues, and she was a little pissed off about it. Carrying the files she had taken for review, along with her briefcase, she made her way to the front of the building. The Seattle rain was coming down, as she stopped in the doorway and dialed Lyft to get her ride back to the hotel. What a day.

* * *

Sarah found a soup and salad restaurant near the hotel. She sat in the window and watched people walk, jog and ride bikes in the rain. The people of Seattle handled rain like it wasn't there. Whatever they planned to do, they did regardless of the weather. It didn't seem to slow them down, and it didn't seem to bother them. She ordered soup that was warm and full of chicken chunks. It was just what she needed. As she finished the soup she decided that the other thing she needed was sleep. It was nine-thirty and she had no desire to wait another hour, and then meet Nolan in the lounge for a drink. She wanted a bath, and to settle for the night. She paid the bill and then walked down the busy street of pavers to the hotel, a block away. She made her way to the elevator and then to her room. The king bed looked great. Maybe she should forego the bath until morning. She put her briefcase and files on the table and began to unbutton her blouse. The phone rang and she looked at it like there was an enemy inside this little, electronic Trojan horse. It was Nolan. She hesitated and then picked it up. She really had no choice.

“Sarah Willis,” she said matter-of-factly.

“I'm back, Sarah. Can you meet me in the lounge?”

She hesitated just a moment, and then said, “Okay,” wishing she had let the call go to voicemail. “I'll be there, shortly.”

She looked around the room, wishing she could stay. She took the two files received at the evening meeting and walked down the hall to the elevator. She rode it to the top, where the City View Lounge boasted a 360 degree view of downtown. The large room was inhabited by four groups in suits, all male, and two couples seated in distant corners and focused on each other.

Sarah sat at a table near a window and ordered a glass of Pinot Noir. She debated with herself about whether to confide in Nolan that he left her out of her element by ditching the meeting. She decided to play it by ear. If the situation was right, she would let him know.

Ten minutes later, Nolan walked in and ordered a Jack Daniels. He sat next to her and asked, “So, how was it?”

“Well,” she said, “it was a little unusual.”

“How so?” he asked, sipping his Jack.

“Because the group expected us to handle everything today, including the last due diligence items and the Caspian patent dispute issues.”

“Yeah, sorry I couldn't be there to close the deal,” he said, evenly. “I just had no choice. It was critical.” He paused a moment and took a long pull on his drink. The glass was empty and signaled the bartender for another. “So what do you think about the issues?”

“I think the financials work, although I told them we wouldn't sign off until we had the audited versions. They say that will be on Monday. As to the patent issue, entirely outside my area of expertise, but I have a few questions about the due diligence documents they provided.”

He grinned. “Nice work, Sarah. I really can depend on you.” She smiled, but said nothing. “You have some good things ahead for you in this company,” he added.

“Thanks,” she said.

They were quiet while he quickly finished his second drink and ordered a third. He drank it down in two pulls, while Sarah had one more sip of her wine. Her glass was still half-full, but she was tired and didn't want any more. “Okay, boss, I have to get some sleep so I can get up for my presentation in the morning.”

“Sure,” Nolan said, grinning. He dropped thirty dollars on the table and stood up. “Stop by my room long enough to pick up a couple of documents that I want you to get a look at.”

It wasn't a question. She felt uncomfortable, but wanted to show him she was part of his critical team, so she said, “Okay.”

“I'm in 1474,” he said.

Just like the office, he was posted one floor above her, she thought, because this hotel didn't have a thirteenth floor. Somehow, hoteliers believed that if they didn't label the floor as number 13, the consumer wouldn't figure out that number 14 is really the thirteenth floor. They walked silently to the elevator. As the elevator rose rapidly, Nolan said, “I'm really sorry I couldn't be there tonight. I know that must have been difficult, but you carried if off beautifully.”

“I guess we'll see about that when you start getting calls from Langley asking why they didn't get the guy at the top.”

They stepped out of the elevator and walked half way down the hall until they came to room 1474. Nolan waved his key card and they walked into a suite with a big living room and a bar. “Want a night cap?” he asked.

“No, Jim. I'm okay.”

He nodded and then walked to the coffee table and pulled a couple of documents from a file. He walked back to where she waited and handed them to her. As he handed the documents to her, he said, “These are first level financials for a new acquisition under consideration. Debt level seems high, but I want to know what you think about the organization's earnings projections.”

She felt a sense of relief that he had documents to give her. “Great,” she said. “Happy to give them a once over.”

He smiled and said, “Thanks. We can talk about it over the next couple of days.”

She nodded and said, “Good night.” As she turned to leave, he grabbed her arm, pushed her up against the wall and held her while he kissed her. She was momentarily stunned, and then pulled away. She looked at him angrily and yelled, “No!” and then she found her legs and walked out the door, slamming it behind her. She shivered as she walked down the corridor toward the elevators. “Holy s**t,” she said. “I can't f*****g believe it.” She wondered if she had been stern enough in shutting him down. They were going to have a talk about this when they got home. This was not okay. She walked into her room and locked the deadbolt. She leaned against the door, still shaking. Sarah wasn't tired anymore, as she paced the room, playing what had just happened over in her mind. It was just the drinks, she told herself. He would be embarrassed by all of this tomorrow. She began to slow her pulse as she put it in this perspective. She called John and got voicemail again. This time she didn't leave a message. She wished he was with her now to help her see this right and to make her feel better. He had a way of making her comfortable when she was worried. She was glad that her desire to retreat to him for comfort hadn't been a casualty of the distance between them.

Sarah took off her suit and hung it up. She found a hotel robe in the closet and put it on over her b*a and panties, and began getting ready for bed. She removed her makeup and brushed her teeth. As she finished, and thought about how good it was going to feel to climb into bed, there was a knock on her door. She said nothing and the knocking came again.

“Who is it?”

“It's me, Sarah,” Jim Nolan said through the door.

“What do you want?”

“I just want to talk to you for one minute.” There was silence. “Sarah, I want to apologize for what happened in my room. I should not have done that.”

“Fine, you can apologize more in the morning, Jim.”

“Just one minute of your time.”

“Tomorrow, Jim,” she said again.

“Please Sarah, I just want one minute. It's really important.”

She hesitated again, and then opened the deadbolt and the door. “Can I come in; just for a moment?”

“I'm not okay with what happened, Jim. You know that, right?”

“Yeah, I know that,” he said, pushing past her and closing the door behind him as he stepped into the room.

“What are you doing?” she asked. “Please leave. Now!”

He nodded and said, “Okay,” but didn't move. He stared at her, causing her to draw her robe around her tighter.

“Get out of my room,” she ordered.

“You are one beautiful woman, Sarah. You are so gorgeous.” He moved towards her and put his arms around her as she pushed him away. “Stop it, God damn it, stop it.”

He grabbed her wrists and pushed her back onto the bed. Then he climbed on top of her. “You and I are a team, Sarah. I can make your life great.”

She began yelling, “Get off, you son of a b***h. Get off me.”

He pulled the robe open and began tugging at her underwear. She let out a scream and then there was a sudden pain as he slapped her hard across the face. He tore off her underwear and then he was pushing himself into her. “You know that you want this Sarah. I can make you feel great.”

“Stop it. Get off. Stop it.” She began to scream and he put his hand over her mouth, pushing her hard into the bed. She slapped and pushed at him with everything she had, and he held tighter and pushed into her harder. It was hurting now. She pushed hard at his nose, and then she grabbed at his eyes. He lowered his head and thrust harder and harder into her. Sarah heard herself crying. She was unable to move. She turned her head and tried to yell, but his hand tightly covered her mouth. She pushed and scratched at him, but he thrust harder into her. She punched at him with everything she had, and it made no difference. The punches didn't land.

She could do nothing to stop him. She told herself that she would live through this; that she could survive it. He thrusted harder. He was hurting her so much, and he didn't care. He was taking everything from her; everything she had spent her whole life building. She was suddenly weak. She was a victim he could use and throw away. It crossed her mind that he might even kill her. He yelled out as he came inside her and she cried out, with a clenched hand across her mouth. She punched at him hard, without landing a blow that had any effect. She laid on the bed crying and hurting, as he stood and pulled up his pants, and then moved quickly out the door without speaking a word.

She stayed on the bed crying; shaking uncontrollably for a long, immeasurable time. She wasn't sure if minutes or hours passed before she ran to the door and locked it. Then she found herself beating on the door with her fists. She walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. She was sobbing, and she was hurt. There was blood on her. Her whole body was shaking hard, and uncontrollably, as she climbed into the shower and tried to scrub him off. She washed again and again, but she couldn't seem to get clean. She had no idea how long she was in the shower, scrubbing and crying. It was a terrible nightmare that would never end. When she stepped from the shower, she left the water running. She put two towels around her, covering herself from shoulders to knees, and then she sat down on the bathroom floor next to the toilet and sobbed aloud. She could not control her crying. The violation was so deep that she thought she would never stop crying, and she would never stand up again. Minutes, and then hours, passed, as Sarah sat on the floor, shivering from deep within her and crying, never stopping the water that ran in the shower. She couldn't move. She felt all that every woman who had been r***d felt: anger, sorrow, helplessness and the most abhorrent, intimate violation possible.

At 3:30 a.m., Sarah managed to regain a sense of her surroundings. She packed her bag and left the hotel. She summoned a Lyft and went to the airport to get on the earliest flight home. The Lyft driver watched her in the rear view mirror with compassion, as she cried. He could see the despair, and really wanted to help, but had no idea what to say. Immense sorrow and pain filled her eyes, as she left the Lyft car, and moved slowly toward the terminal pulling her bag.