Imprint Keeper

Chapter 5

Ang matulog sa ibang bahay ay hindi ko gawain dahil sa twenty-two years of existence ko sa Earth ay never naman ako pinayagan ni Papa na makipag-sleep over. But this time its different. I don't have a choice. It's either I stay here and live or go out and die. Masyado pa akong bata para mamatay, so I chose stay.

Ayokong maka istorbo sa kung ano mang trabahong ginagawa nina Sayer at Cason at kahit pa pumunta ako ng sala ay wala rin akong magagawa dahil gamit nila lahat ng electronics doon. Kaya naman, nagkusa nalang ako na mag-stay sa basement. Dito malaya kong makikita ang kapatid ko at kahit pa paano gumagaan ang pakiramdam ko. But sitting and doing nothing bores me. I tried to do some stretching para hindi ako tamarin. Gusto ko mang sumayaw para makapag exercise pero masikip ang lugar at marami pang debris sa sahig.

I saw from one of the cctv's na kuha sa living room na mahusay na nagta-trabaho ang dalawa kong kasama sa bahay. They've been on their computers ever since they woke up that morning. Hindi ko man nga nakita kung nag-almusal ba sila o kung natulog ba sila. Pagkagising ko kasi may pagkain na sa loob ng kwartong tinutulugan ko. I knew at some point, I have to do something for them. That is why I decided to go up to see them.

Sandali nila akong nilingon nang bumukas ang elevator na sinasakyan ko. Parang nagulat pa nga sila, sabagay hindi ko naman sila masisisi dahil hindi naman nila nakasanayan na may ibang tao silang kasama.

"Gutom ka?" ani Cason in his unusual deep calm voice. I admit, nagugulat pa ako sa tuwing maririnig ko siya, feeling ko ibang tao siya.

Wala pa man tanghalian pero tila pagod na ang mga mata niya. Marahil sa pagkababad sa harapan ng computer.

"Hindi naman." Iling ko. "Kayo ba? Ikaw, gutom ka ba?" balik tanong ko sa kanya.

"Ako gutom!" malawak ang naging ngiti ni Sayer habang itinataas ang kanyang kamay na parang isang magiliw na estudyante. Galak na tumingin sa kanya ang nagniningning kong mga mata.

"Talaga! Gusto mo bang ipagluto kita?" Buong ngiting wika ko habang humahakbang palapit sa kanya. Nobody really likes my cooking kahit pa si Sean. Kaya naman excited ako na may nagpapakita ng interes na ipagluto ko.

But then Cason pushed himself and made his swivel chair roll to block my way. Itinaas pa niya ang mga paa niya sa mesa ng kanyang computer at tiniyak na wala akong daraanan papunta kay Sayer. Napaurong ako dala ng pagkagulat. I saw him gesturing his finger asking me to lean closer to him.

"Huwag kang lumapit diyan, nangangagat 'yan." Bulong niya sa 'kin.

"Hoy! Anong binubulong mo sa kanya? Huwag kang maniwala dyan Althea, sinungaling yan."

Their relationship is not yet clear to me but the way I see it, they don't seem to like each other that much. Pero na aaliw pa rin ako dahil sa petty fights nilang katulad ng ganito.

Tumayo si Sayer para lapitan si Cason at batukan ito, pero nakaiwas si Cason. I saw the man near me looked pissed at Sayer. He let out a little hiss before bringing back his attention to me.

Inakay ako sa kanyang pagtayo letting his arms rest on shoulders. "Don't mind him." Buwelta niya.

"Ganyan ba talaga kayong dalawang magkaibigan?" Pag-usisa ko.

"We're not friends. Trabaho lang kaya siya nandito sa bahay ko." Matikas na wika ni Cason.

I smiled at the thought na finally nakikilala ko na ang totoong Cason, kahit pa paunti-unting detalye pa lang ang alam ko.

We walked our way until we reached the end of the hallway kung saan naroon ang mga kwarto. Ang akala ko ang pag akay niya sa 'kin ay para lamang ilayo ako kay Sayer. But he didn't let me go kahit pa hindi na namin nakikita si Sayer. I want to remind him about it but at the same time I don't want him to let go.

"Sa'n mo 'ko dadalhin?" untag ko nang naging tahimik kaming dalawa.

"I feel like . . I have to tell you more." His voice suddenly became warm and welcoming.

Inalis niya ang pagkaka akbay sa 'kin saka ito naglakad patungo sa harapan ng book case na 'sing laki na ng dingding mismo. It was antique yet designed in a modern way. It fills the wall at the end of the hallway, nakakamangha ang desenyo nito.

Maganda man ang book case ay hindi ko maalis ang tingin ko kay Cason. As if there is this something inside of me, asking me, pulling me to come close to him and embrace him from behind.

But I can't. I don't want to, not just yet.

He pulled a book then another and another. It was so fast that I couldn't follow which book he's took out next. At nang matapos niya, bahagya ito umurong at luminya sa gilid ko.

"I've been hiding secrets from you since day one. Gusto kong bumawi." He said smiling.

I miss his smiling eyes.

Just yesterday I felt like he is someone I didn't know. Nami-miss ko 'yung pambu-bully niya. Without his smile it was as if . . I'm numb.

That smile made me feel . . . safe.

All my senses came back when I heard noises coming from the book case. Bahagya pa akong napaurong nang umusog ito. The half of it slightly moved back then slides behind the other, exposing a gloomy secret room filled with hanging photos and papers.

"Pasok na, nahiya ka pa." Biro niya sa 'kin. Hindi ko alam kung ilan na ba siyang segundong nakatitig sa namamangha kong titig sa kwarto. It was as if the old Cason I knew came back.

"Hindi ako nahihiya 'no, nagulat lang." I tried to look away to hide my flushing face.

"Halika na." Ngumiti si Cason sa 'kin the slowly took my hand and guided me inside.

Hindi ganoon kalakihan ang sikretong kwarto ni Cason, but the memories inside made it more comfortable than the rest of the room inside the house. I can see randomly taken photos of the young Cason up until he became a teen. It was fun to see him growing up yet his face looks like its not.

"Nakapa self centered mo naman Cason! Ikaw lang lahat ng nasa pictures dito." I cannot contain the happiness inside of me at nakuha ko pa siyang lokohin.

Cason didn't answer kaya naman tumalikod ako para makita ko siya. His stance slowy became reserved. Is he returning to that Cason I've recently known?

"Uy, sorry na-offend ba kita?" I said as I lightly poke his shoulder. He was not even looking at me.

He didn't answer. Kaya naman tinignan ko kung saan ba nakatuon ang mga mata niya. But he kept on turning them away from me.

"Sorry na. Sige na hindi na ako magsasalita. . or better yet, lalabas nalang ako."

I took my steps next to him para makabalik sa book case kung saan kami pumasok. But then I felt his cold hands stopped mine. It wasn't forceful, yet with that grip he made it clear, he does not want me to go. I look at him but still he can't look at me. My heart thumped and I was flustered.

"Stay." He finally uttered.

I took a peek just to see his tensed face. I started to worry, baka may hindi siya gusto o baka naman may gusto siyang sabihin. I lifted my gaze and moved to face him again - but he stopped me. We were left facing the opposite direction.

"Sabi ko d'yan ka lang 'di ba? So stay. . . and listen."

In the silence, I could almost hear my own pulse swaying along with his heavy breathing. As if time stopped and giving us all the attention. My core trembled and I got this feeling like I was running out of breath. I sense him moving to face me forcing me to take a quick breath to hold in and to let out slowly.