The Girl in the Middle

Who am I ?

*Amber/Sarah*

Waking up in pain isn't really new for me. That much I know. But to wake up and feel this level of confusion, I am sure that is new. I can't remember what has happened to make my entire body hurt like this. Have I been in an accident? Or have I been in a nasty fight ? Why is the pain so well known when I don't know where it is coming from ?

What happened to me ?

I don't dare to move, and I can't pull myself together to open my eyes. I try to collect my thoughts. I know I am in pain and that it isn't normal. But what else do I know?

Who am I?

I open my eyes and stare up at a grey ceiling; there are several holes in it, and in the corners, there is isolation material sticking out.

Where am I?

The walls have, without a doubt, been white once. And before that, they seem to have been rose-colored. It has been a long time since anyone has fixed up this room and nobody seems to care that the tapestry is gone and exposes the last one and the one before that. In some places, you can see the bare wall, and other areas are open all the way into the isolation.

A piece of plastic covers the window, and even though it is dirty, I can see the glass under it is broken.

The furniture is sparse and old. But the big bed I am lying in is comfortable enough, and the dark blue linen is clean. But besides that, there is only a small dresser next to the door and a chair next to the bed where someone has left a glass of water.

I try sitting up, but the pain is unbearable, so I quickly give up. I feel a knot grow in my chest and a lump form in my throat. I can't hold back the tears and the sobs escaping me.

There are three knocks on the door before a young man steps inside. Or a man is maybe not the right word. Even though his body looks muscular and robust, his face looks very young. He has thick dark blonde hair, combed back with wax, and he wears loose dark pants with a lot of pockets and a tight white T-shirt that reveal that he has a tattoo on his right arm of an S impaled on a sword.

"Good to see you awake". He says as he steps inside. Nothing is threatening about him. But my instinct still makes me avoid eye contact. I pull away from him. My insecurity makes him stop, looking worried.

"Do you need anything ? Water ? Food ? Painkillers ?" I don't answer him, my entire body is shaking, and I can't control it. Who is he ? Who am I and how did I end up here in a bed in his care ?

"It's okay". He seems a bit confused and even more worried. He turns towards the door calling for someone else. Shortly after, a young woman comes in. Her long black hair is braided and hangs over one shoulder. She has a pretty face and piercing green eyes. She is only wearing light make-up and very tight jeans. Her top shows a bit of bare skin on her stomach. She has the same tattoo as the young man.

"She is scared shitless". He explains to her as he moves towards the door.

"It's okay". She slowly moves to sit on the edge of my bed. "KC could you run grab some fresh water, some bread and some painkillers ?" She doesn't look at him but he still nods before hurrying out the door. "I am Kattie". She smiles at me.

The knot in my chest loosen up a bit. She scares me less than the young man, but the whole situation is still very scary. Not knowing anything makes me feel like panicking.

"How are you feeling ?" She asks.

I think for a long time before answering. Uncertain how my voice is even working. "Someone hurt me". I whisper and I am surprised to hear my own voice. It sounds so fragile compared to her. You can easily hear the fear in it.

"You are safe here". She tells me. Her eyes try to catch mine, but it feels wrong to look her in the eye, like I have been taught not to. "No one will harm you here".

"Yeah he tumbled into bed a couple of hours ago. Not looking good". KC admits before leaving the room. Kattie closes her eyes and hangs her head.

"I am sorry if I am any bother". I mumble. I don't dare speak up loud.

"It isn't your fault". Kattie answers without opening her eyes. "It has just been a very hard 24 hours". She tries to send me a comforting smile, but even I can see it is half-hearted. "Are you in pain ?" She asks more friendly, opening her eyes.

"A bit". It is a big understatement. I am eyeing the needle on the chair.

"I just need to go talk to Clay, okay ?" She gently put a hand on my arm. "I'll be back in a minute". She gets off the bed and leaves me alone. I look at the needle again, but pain or no pain, I don't dare stick myself with it.

Instead I reach for the bread. Breaking off small bites and eating it slowly. I am hungry, even if part of me doesn't want to admit it.

When Kattie walks back in she has another person with her. It is a man, still young but older than the others. Probably around thirty. He has black hair and a stray curl has fallen down on his forehead. He wears the same kind of pants as KC but his chest is bare. He also has the S tattoo on his arm, along with a tattoo on the left side of his neck.

I can't help stare at his upper body. He is slim and well muscled and he has a lot of scars, more than I can count. Something about him fascinates me. He has dark circles under his eyes. His gaze is unsteady, like he is very tired and he has a hard time focusing.

Until his gaze falls on me.

His eyes are a peculiar green/blue mix, but right now they are changing into something darker.

He doesn’t say anything before sitting down on the edge of my bed. Kattie keeps her distance and has her arms crossed, while watching him guardedly. Is she scared of him ?

I definitely don't trust him.

"My name is Clay". He says in a friendly but firm voice. "I am the leader of The Shadows and as long as you are here you are under my protection". I want to ask what The Shadows are. Where 'here' is. But I don't dare say anything. I find him both intimidating and attractive. "Kattie says you have lost your memory". It isn't a question.

I nod and even though I know it will hurt, I try once more sitting up. He is quick to lean forward and support me. I stop breathing when he touches me. But then the moment is gone and he withdraws.

"I have to test some things before I give you the painkillers". He says softly. "I promise to be very gentle". He leans forward placing his fingers on my temples. "Tell me if anything hurts or is sore".

I have a really hard time concentrating. His fingers move down the sides of my neck and around the back. One place it sends a shock through my entire body, making me jump. It makes my hand fly up and hit his chest in reflex, and I can't help blushing as I remove my hand again.

"I had to test if your reactions were okay". He says apologetically and ignores my reaction. He pulls away from me and takes a small flashlight from his pocket, pointing it towards my eyes. "You don't seem to have a concussion. I can't really find anything to explain the memory loss".

"What about asking Tom or Gerard ?" Kattie suggests.

"I will. I will". Clay says. He isn't looking at her, his gaze still resting on me. Something about it has changed. It is a hungry gaze. Almost predatory. "But first we have to make sure our guest is comfortable". He pulls another syringe from one of his pockets. This one had a bluish liquid. "This will take away the pain and help you sleep". He explains as he puts in the needle. "Do you have something you want us to call you until we know your real name ?"

"Clay !" Katties voice is warning, but Clay ignores her.

"What do you think of the name Amber ?" Clay asks. I don't have time to react before Kattie stalks out the room and I hear another door slam shut. "Ignore her". He says. His hand has grabbed mine as he slowly lowers the needle to my skin.

"It is a nice name". What else can I say ? It won't matter much to me what they call me. He smiles as he presses down the piston. His smile is the last thing I see before sleep claims me.