Prologue
1443 Words
HER BODY was stretched as if it was being distorted. Berde at asul ang nagkalat sa bawat sulok ng kanyang kuwarto, lumilikha ng mabangong amoy.
"Rose . . . probably red roses." Lumanghap siya nang ilang ulit. Tila napunta siya sa kalangitan, dahilan para siya ay mapapikit sa kasarapan.
Nasa ganoong siste ay bigla siyang natigilan. Her phone rang, playing the song, The Good-For-Nothing Song. Someone was calling.
May udyok sa kaibuturan ni Natalie na nguyain ang tunog na iyon. It had a taste like cheddar cheese. Hahakbang sana siya upang kuhain ang cell phone mula sa nightstand pero muli ay natawa siya; umiikot ang berde at asul sa sahig kung saan nakalapat ang kanyang mga paa.
"Mmmm . . . it feels so . . . good . . ." Her eyes rolled as she suppressed a chuckle, grasping the sheet and slowly took a seat at the edge of the bed.
Screw that phone!
Ayaw na niyang abalahin pa ang sarili na sagutin ang tawag. Fixating her eyes on the floor was enough, so she swayed her head, enjoying the view: her feet were now slowly covering with green and blue.
This was what she wanted right now: no hatred, no pain, no sadness . . . even though the hard thing deep inside her chest stabbed her repeatedly.
She was numb, so numb to feel the pain.
She was contented and happy already.
Until suddenly, her tastebud licked the voice of someone. Someone was knocking at the blue and green door, which had different sizes of holes.
She was in her room, but she did not barge to open the door. She just smelled every piece of furniture with her eyes. Then a giggle released from her throat as those things started circulating her.
"Ahh . . . this feels so good . . ." she uttered, tilting her head from side to side.
"Natalie! What did you do! Ilang tablets ang ininom mo?" a familiar voice worriedly asked.
"Elise . . ." She turned her head to face her. Natalie smiled; cheddar cheese with a lot of sesame seeds was wrapped around Elise's face. "How did you get in here? Oh, do you want to hear a story?"
Ni hindi niya maaninang ang reaksiyon nito kaya muli ay nagsalita siya. She cracked a smile again. Ang daming letrang lumabas mula sa bibig niya — mga letrang bumuo sa bawat salitang tumalilis palabas sa lalamunan niya. Nagsayaw ang mga iyon sa kanyang harap, ngumingiting pabalik kahit wala naman siyang nasisipat na bibig sa mga iyon.
Not long after, those words started playing in her mind. The words that happened just before she got into that paradise . . ..
The manly scent that dispersed across the massive bachelor pad met her nostrils. Typically, it reminded her of the man she used to love. But the ticking clock notified her senses he was also the one who just tore her heart in a half.
The black and white interior of the studio-type room was a bit dark, yet the tiny sunlight flashing through the white curtain was enough for her sight. Her eyes were completely wide open, and she couldn't even find a way to blink.
The silence was scattered, mixing with a heavy panting of the two good-looking men on the bed.
"Natalie . . ."
Iyon lamang ang naintindihan niya sa inusal ni Jake. Nanlalaki ang mga mata nito. He was surprised, that was for sure. So she was. She didn't know what to say. Parang pinutol ng kung sino ang dila niya. Ni hindi rin niya mabilang kung ilang segundo o minuto siyang nakatulala. Tila ba ume-echo lang sa paligid ang salitang 'Natalie', na siyang naglaho rin kinalaunan — kasama ang pagmamahal na matagal niyang pinanghawakan; ang pag-ibig niya kay Jake na matagal niyang inalagaan.
As she tried to open her mouth, she held back. Mariing kinagat niya ang labi, nilabanan ang biglang pag-nginig ng kanyang kalamnan.
So this was what a surprise felt like, that even her brain was literally f*cked up!
Halo-halong emosyon at siguradong walang salitang puwedeng gamitin para mailarawan ang sakit. Wala siyang maapuhap sa isip, lalo na sa pighating pumupuno sa naninikip niyang dibdib.
Ngayong araw ihahatid sa huling hantungan ang kanyang mamá; hindi makakapunta si Jake, alam iyon ni Natalie. May sakit daw kasi ito.
Gayunman ay sumaglit pa rin siya roon, kukumustahin sana.
Pero bakit gano'n? Hindi pa ba sapat iyong sakit na nadarama niya sa pagkamatay ng kanyang mamá? May udyok sa kanyang itanong iyon kay Jake, bagaman ay pumikit na lamang si Natalie, humiling.
Humiling siya na sana ay panaginip lang lahat, paulit-ulit. Pero sadyang maramot ang kapalaran; pagdilat niya, ganoon pa rin.
The same scene . . .
The same situation . . .
The same room . . .
It was real.
There was no way for her to escape!
Makailang ulit siyang lumunok; hindi pa rin siya makapagbitiw ng salita. Napako lang ang paningin niya sa dalawang lalaking kanina lang ay naghahalikan at naglalampungan habang nakasuot lamang ng saplot pang-ibaba.
Noon na hindi kinaya ng nanlalambot niyang mga binti; tulala siyang napa-upo sa marmol na sahig.
"Natalie, l-let . . . let me explain."
Sa tindi ng tensyong bumabalot sa katawan, hindi niya namalayang nasa harap na pala niya si Jake. Hawak-hawak na ang magkabila braso niya.
"N-no," was the only thing she could say. Parang gumugol pa siya ng mahabang panahon masaulado lamang ang isang salitang iyon.
God! she wanted to slap him in the face! Gusto niyang sumabatan ito. Ipamukha kung gaano siya nagmukhang tanga! Pero hindi niya kaya. Sadyang hindi niya magawa!
"I'm sorry." Derekta ang pagkakasabi niyon Jake, tulad ng kung paano nito tingnan ang mga mata niya.
Noon bumuhos ang mga luha niyang kanina pa nagbabadya. Noon lang din niya naunawaan ang pagsisising nakapaskil sa mukha ng lalaki.
Along with the tears kept rolling down her cheeks, she filled her gaze with the most beautiful face she had ever seen. His eyes were chocolate brown. Pointed and perfect nose. Thick brows. Thin and pink lips. Perfect shape of the jaw. His face was perfect. Jake was perfect — inside and out. All of his were surely molded by the hands of God.
Nais niyang malunod sa nakikita. Nais niyang tanggapin iyong sorry na iyon pero hindi siya tumugon. Bagkus, inilapat niya ang isang kamay sa pisngi nito — ang kamay kung saan naroroon at nakasuot ang engagement ring na ibinigay nito sa kanya.
She loved him so much. Heck, she even loved him more than her life . . . And she wanted him back! Iyon ang isinisigaw ng puso niya.
Gayunman, paano mo ipaglalaban ang isang pakiramdam kung sobrang wasak ka na para lumaban?
"So am I, Jake; I'm sorr—" Hikbi ang lumamon sa dapat ay sasabihin niya. "I-I . . . I-I guess, we are not meant for each other, are we?" Pikit-mata ay hinubad niya ang singsing at inilagay iyon sa palad ni Jake.
Kung gaano katindi ang sakit na bumalot sa kanyang puso nang bitiwan niya ang mga salitang iyon, triple iyong sakit na tumalbog pabalik nang isinara nito ang kamay. Hindi siya manhid para hindi maunawaang wala na talaga.
Wala nang sila.
Noon sana siya tatayo, taktakbo palabas pero hinigit siya ng lalaki at ikinulong sa bisig nito. She was not sure what pushed her to, but she ended up closing her eyes and cried silently.
Soon she found herself planting her face onto Jakes's shoulder. For the last time, she just wanted to feel his warmth.
Just for the last time . . .
"Natalie! What were you thinking! Bakit mo 'to ininom? Ngayon ang libing ng mamá mo!"
She swallowed Elise's voice as she curved her lips upward. But the excruciating and never-ending tears were rolling down her cheeks. She was weightless with a lot of joy, yet the torment dug in her system because of that memory.
A million of sixty seconds had passed, the silence was screaming as the blurry vision, and numbing senses surrounded her tightly, making her consciousness fell into the middle of a foggy place.
Until Elise sat her on a chair — the chair that gave her fear.
Elise showed her a triangular thing with the sound of a clock. Then, she fed her the fact—the truth. And the pain on that memory.
Ang mga masasakit na alaalang iyon ay paulit-ulit na naglalaro sa gising na ulirat ni Natalie. Nang dahil sa ginawa ni Elise, nabawasan ang sakit; nagawa niyang tanggapin ang lahat.
Ang tanggapin ang katotohanan para hindi siya masaktan . . ..
- Writer
